Jayce: Hold on Mel, you're also sleeping with Viktor?
Mel: Of course I- wait... what do you mean also.
*Both look at Viktor*
Viktor: I thought we were all aware of this arrangement... but I seem to have been mistaken

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tannertan36

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if i look back, i am lost

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ē„ę„ / Permanent Vacation

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@annaeru
Jayce: Hold on Mel, you're also sleeping with Viktor?
Mel: Of course I- wait... what do you mean also.
*Both look at Viktor*
Viktor: I thought we were all aware of this arrangement... but I seem to have been mistaken
Mobius:Ā You werenāt born to be king, Loki.
Loki: but I was tho. my whole backstory is literally that I was born to be the king of Jotunheim but odin stole me. I thought u said u watched my whole life. did u just fast forward thru it? thatās what u did isnāt it?
Mobius: ā¦.
Loki: also even if u skipped the whole bit with my heritage being revealed and the mess that resulted from that ur statement is still stupid bc surely u saw the bit where I was the YOUNGER SIBLING!!!! do u not know how royal succession works? are you embarrassed right now? bc imĀ embarrassed rn. I am literally embarrassed for u. do u want 2 maybe come up with a new attempt at a devastating revelation and try again bc im not trying 2 be judgmental but that sucked.Ā
Mobius: in the futureā
Loki: the one I havenāt gone through?
Mobius: IN THE FUTURE YOUā
Loki: the one the TVA wrote? I think this is about the future the TVA wrote that Iām no longer a part of that the TVA strictly enforce, killing off any stray thoughts. But carry on.
Mobius: IN THE FUTURE U KILL YOUR MOM AGAIN AND AGAIN ANDā
Loki: you FRIDGED her?? Iām devastated. DEVASTATED right now. Not for me, who did not kill my mom, but for YOU!! and the sucky āsacred timelineā!!! Iāll burn this place down for her alone if I have to!!!!!
Loki: at least now in this version of the timeline she gets to live
Mobius: ā¦.
Loki: right??
Mobius: actually we pruned-
Loki: you murdered her?! After blaming me for her hypothetical future murder (that YOU wrote btw) you ACTUALLY murdered her in reality?
Mobius: it wasnāt just her. we deleted the entire timeline to purify-
Loki: How could you wipe out a whole reality like that? Do you not understand the concept of AU potential???? Why are you so boring???
Loki: Also you better not be about to call me evil for killing under duress when you just murdered an entire reality worth of living beings for the crime of existing.Ā
Loki: At least tell me that in the main timeline you resolved things between me and Thor in a meaningful and well thought out way
Mobius: Um⦠Ok you know what? Thatās enough out of you! We shouldāve left that muzzle on. Anyway, letās get back to discussing how youāre an evil murderer who deserves to be punished for the horrific crime of invading New York and causing your motherās death by uhā¦evilly being locked up at the time like the conniving Evil McEvilface that you are!Ā
Loki: Didnāt you specifically write the timeline to be that way though? Didnāt I get arrested for deviating from that path? Also didnāt we just establish that when I deviated from the timeline that you created you killed the entire population of that universe (which Iām pretty sure includes New York and Asgard!) when you deleted that reality? So whoās the real villain here?
Mobius: The real villain is the Disney writers. Look at this script I have to work with. Itās a disaster. Even I donāt understand my motivations.Ā
I love it being made a big deal for Loki to be switching sides to good with the Avengers and people distrusting the change but realistically I think he would say āIām good nowā and the Avengers would be like ok cool welcome to the club because they really donāt have a choice here. What are they going to do? Say ānoā???????
Once again, @worstloki 's tags are the only tags I read
#that is true like it took wanda 5 minutes to be trusted by steve in aou #like what choice do they have? you gotta side with whatever person is helping you fight the impending doom (@lokigodofaces)
what are they going to say? "thank you for helping us fight the impending doom, we're going to imprison you now too even though you're not hostile and have done nothing but help us with the impending doom, because you were the relatively far lesser impending doom that one time a decade ago" ?????????? you think they're going to bring up receipts?? right now???????? there is not going to be a team left if they start doing that
just imagine....
fury: you can't join the avengers, you killed 74 people
loki: that's fair. it'd be embarrassing to have the lowest kill count on the team anyway.
fury: ....ugh, just make sure they remember to brush their teeth
loki: you got it, new dad!
fury: WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP SAYING THAT
bingqiu is like. they think one of them needs to be the wife in the relationship. but then both of them independently decide that they're the wife.
Odin: Whatās wrong with you?
Loki: Many, many things and most of them are your fault.
disciple luo binghe, running errands for his shizun one day, somehow manages to be in the exact wrong (right) place at the exact wrong (right) time and catches shang qinghua meeting with mobei jun
in order to keep luo binghe from tattling right away, shang qinghua dissembles in a panic and claims that his clandestine meetings with mobei jun are happening because they're lovers and definitely not because shang qinghua is betraying the sect and handing their secrets over to demons in order to save his own hide. when that almost doesn't work, he also tells luo binghe that he knows he's part demon, and that if luo binghe rats him out then shang qinghua will take him down with him. mutually assured destruction
it works, and even though luo binghe threatens him quite a bit (jeez kid calm down, you might be the almighty protagonist but also you're like sixteen) he agrees to keep shang qinghua's fraternizing a secret. but if ANYTHING BAD should happen to the sect or especially to luo binghe's shizun because of this, luo binghe will take shang qinghua down even if it does ruin his life too
shang qinghua, now sweating even more bullets about the impending immortal alliance conference: cool! cool cool cool sounds great cool yeah
so shang qinghua can add "being blackmailed by the punk ass brat I sort of created" to his list of stress-inducing woes. which gets even worse when luo binghe keeps somehow sensing if mobei jun is around for more than a couple hours and showing up, and picking fights with him?? kind of??
wtf has the protagonist been taking tips from liu qingge or something...?
shang qinghua feels like he's gonna have a heart attack when mobei jun just snorts and tosses luo binghe by the scruff like he's an annoying yappy dog
mobei jun actually knows what's up though. teenage half-demon who has never been around his own kind has become spoiled by the lack of competition on this front, and now his hackles are all up because he wants to claim the whole mountain range as his territory, and his instincts are screaming at him to challenge mobei jun about it so that they can decide who is actually top dog. since mobei jun could easily kill him, especially with his blood sealed, and has been clawing rocks and pissing on trees along the borders of an ding peak since before luo binghe was born, he's clearly got seniority here
and since qinghua doesn't want mobei jun to just kill the little shit (fair enough -- that sealed bloodline does look kind of interesting) that means it's up to mobei jun to teach him how to do things like interact with other demons without making a complete fool of himself. lesson one: what to do when you challenge someone out of your league and they win, assuming they don't just kill you
so luo binghe reluctantly gains another demon tutor
meng mo actually approves. he's been out of the loop on demon high society for a long time, and has lacked a body for long enough too that he's forgotten a lot of the particulars of socializing. it'll be good for luo binghe to pick up some manners that aren't just silly human tea ceremonies and things. maybe he'll start addressing meng mo more respectfully for a change!
(lol no)
luo binghe is partly like "I don't need to learn demon social skills since I'm spending the rest of my life as a disciple of qing jing peak" but partly like, well, if shizun knew about this and didn't freak out about it, he'd probably say that knowledge is power and learning how to handle politics and diplomacy of all kinds is important. and despite himself luo binghe is also interested, because this is a whole perspective on his own nature that he's never really gotten advice about
also, mobei jun is the lover of shang qinghua? mobei jun is a demon who successfully seduced a cang qiong peak lord? does he have any advice about that?
(he does -- all of it very bad)
anyway all of this sort of fucks up the immortal alliance conference developments really good, so the system kind of gives up and settles on some other big transformative achievements that luo binghe has to complete in order to be suitably heroic
but shen qingqiu has no idea and so the reprieve just seems to come out of nowhere until several years later, when he walks in on luo binghe with his claws out and huadian gleaming in the company the demon king of the northern desert, the two of them playing weiqi or something while they wait for shang qinghua to get back from some random logistics crisis he had to rush off to
shen qingqiu: ...?!?
luo binghe, panicking: wait shizun I can explain it's not what it looks like SHIZUN I SWEAR I WAS GOING TO TELL YOU PLEASE DON'T BE MAD--!
shen qingqiu: all this time I thought you were sneaking out to meet a girl, and this was what you were doing instead?!
luo binghe: WHAT?? shizun no I'd never do that I swear I don't even like girls!
shen qingqiu: that's not -- wait what do you mean you don't even like girls?!
mobei jun, unperturbed and still focused on the weiqi board: he's gay
With the way that Airplane and Cucumber argue about Luo Binghe's future and potential, they really are like Luo Binghe's parents. Cucumber being the mom, wishing for Luo Binghe's happiness and a faithful wife plus being overprotective AF. Airplane being the dad who wants Luo Binghe to achieve all those cool bro status (multiple women, being cool AF, winning all his fights, long schlong and more).
So like... imagine an AU where Airplane and Cucumber literally become Luo Binghe's parents. Yeah, that's right. They transmigrate into Tianlang Jun and Si Xiyan respectively.
Have fun with childbirth Shen Yuan~!
Airplane knows exactly how the story of the demon emperor and his beloved Su Xiyan will end. Therefore, he decides to avoid his tragic fate before he ends up under the mountain.
So instead of the trap into which the Palace Master is trying to lure him, he rushes to save his future empress. Who says "WTF" in surprise when he pretentiously appears on a giant snake and rescues Su Xiyan from the dungeon before she can take poison from the palace master.
As a result, Airplane gets not only a happy and spoiled son, protected by the protagonist's halo, but also a cold, beautiful wife (or husband, depending on what Shen Yuan prefers) who understands memes!
Happy, happy demon lord.
humans donāt have enough ornamentation. whereās the plumage, the antlers
i could go for a good vibrant throat sac i could display as i sing in the mating season
Humans have some of the most extreme hair variation over their bodies in the animal kingdom, with hair on some parts of our body a few millimetres long and fine enough to be almost invisible, and hair in other parts a good metre long if not artificially trimmed. Part of the inside of our mouths are turned out to make our lips bright red, we have comically oversized breasts and lack penis bones to make erections more indicative of impressive circulation, and have some of the most complex behavioural adaptations to self-ornamentation for courtship seen in anything that doesnāt spend half its life collecting blue bottle caps. How much ornamentation do you want?
Iād like antlers, as previously stated
I want bioluminescence
Sonar
Flared webbing would be nice
Contemplatinā a Bingqiu Star Wars AU where Shen Qingqiu follows the script in turning to the dark side, but then decides to add a part into his reunion with Luo Binghe where he does the ājoin meā darksider schtick, thinking itāll create a great opportunity for Luo Binghe to yell āIāll never join you!ā and impress all the other Jedi. Itās something he was kind of disappointed wasnāt in the original story, even though Shen Jiu naturally would have never offered to let his reviled ex-padawan join him.
Except that Luo Binghe immediately turns on the Jedi and accepts Shen Qingqiuās offer.
Oops?
So now Shen Qingqiu keeps having to rein Luo Binghe in from doing things like killing all the other Jedi to prove his loyalty. Luo Binghe is enthusiastically onboard for them being an evil space-conquering duo who are part of a super elite sect that can only ever have two members. Shen Qingqiu tries to fix it, he explains numerous times that the darkside is dangerous despite its powers and he claims to have āseducedā Luo Binghe to evil while being all sinister about it. But whenever he brings up his nefarious seduction Luo Binghe gives him a hopeful look and admits that maybe he could use some more seducing, maybe he hasnāt been completely seduced yet. Shen Qingqiu just takes that to mean heās having second thoughts about being evil and is like āgreat well if you want to go back to the temple I suppose I canāt stop youā. Theyāre both disappointed with the lack of results their methods get.
The rest of the galaxy is so confused. Master Shen has fallen to the darkside and taken his padawan with him, but all that seems to be happening is that the Master keeps making sinister threats and then stopping the Apprentice from actually going through with them.
Shen Qingqiu: I will have my revenge and destroy the Jedi Order!
Luo Binghe, activating his lightsaber: Yes, Master! How shall they die?
Shen Qingqiu: No, no, turn that off, weāre⦠uhm⦠weāre not doing it todayā¦
When you really think about it, Yiling Laozu is only really possible with JiangSect!WWX & JinSect!WWX cause their leaders both are willing to commit genocide and YLLZ only came to be cause WWX fights injustices such as that.
If WWX was brought up in the Lan or Nie sect, Lan Qiren, Lan XiChen, Lan WangJi, and Nie Mingjue would be the ones who would go up the burial mounds to talk to WWX after he free the Wens.
LanSect!WWX would end like:
Lan Qiren: I raised you to be righteous and to always fight against evil. While you have your faults, you- is that a child?
NieSect!WWX would end like:
Nie Mingjue: How could you! We fought against Wen-dogs side by side! You were like my brother! And now you sit there and stand arm and arm- is that a fucking child!
coat
Fic idea: A PowerfulYL!WWX who the Wen Remnants make a pact with so their lives might be spared. And then some High and Mighty Cultivator is like: "And what did the fearsome Yiling Laozu take from you peasants in exchange? Was it worth it?!" Granny Wen: "Our youngest child" High and Mighty: "Ha! And you gave it to him?! Disgusting, dirty Wen dogs-" Granny: "Oh no. He came to live with us" H&M:"Wha-?" Granny: "He keeps insisting HE owes US since he only asked for a kid and now has a big family"
WWX, hoping to avoid this whole mess: I will protect you IF! You give me your youngest child! The Wens, desperate: Yes, alright, if thereās no other way. WWX, not expecting this but willing to help now that theyāve made it so obvious they need him: UH... okay, I live with you now.
And then they become a big, happy family and itās great.
This is not how child pacts usuallyĀ work but like... itās good? Itās good. Everyoneās happy.
Obviously the only logical follow-up is Hanguang-Jun getting wind of the whole mess and going to investigate.
And WWX is likeĀ āAha! A righteous cultivator like all those that always sneered at me. Leaning on The Aesthetic(TM) and being creepy didnāt work with the Wen because I blew it when gullible A-Ning asked if I was gonna eat A-Yuan and I started ranting about how I only wanted him to cuddle and pinch his cheeks and raise, but it will definetely work on him!
WWX, being his particular brand of doofus proud dad: Behold! The symbol of my might! The terrifying creature who shall terrorize the Cultivation World in my name! Tremble before him! *holds up A-Yuan from his armpits like a kitten*
LWJ, frowning infinitesimally: Speaking that way about children is inappropriate. It is his decision what he will do with his future. And you are not holding him properly.
WWX, seeing nothing wrong with this conversation: Well, of course! And the world will tremble in awe and terror at his awesomeness. *sets the kid down when A-Yuan starts wiggling*
One week later LWJ is deep in discussion with his uncle about how to counteract the influence of that ridiculous itās not a crush, brother, kindly stop man on A-Yuan.
LQR: The easiest solution is a direct confrontation.
LWJ: Attacking without reason is dishonorable.
LQR, exasperated: And how do you plan on raising another manās son when he is still under his care, mm?
LWJ: ...You are correct. Thank you, uncle. I shall depart at once and convince Wei Ying to marry me. *bows deeply*
LQR: *coughs blood*
LWJ, looking at the table between them: I have already served you tea. This is fortunate. Farewell, uncle.
WWX is going to have quiteĀ the surprise later.
LWJ:Ā Wei Ying. I am here to counter your influence on A-Yuan.
WWX:Ā Aha! A duel, is it?! Know now that I shall not give up the heir to my great empire without a fight!
LWJ, mostly ignoring him:Ā Marry me.
WWX:Ā alkfdjalsdkjfalsdkfjal.
WWX, a happily married man who farms for a living, is a devoted father and basically worships his family: I am Super Evil, you guys.
LWJ, hopelessly smitten:Ā Yes, Wei Ying, you are the most evil.
(WQ, in the background:Ā Your farming practicesĀ are evil!)
i would die for the post-canon lqr and wwx dynamic of them becoming close family through extreme acts of pettiness that arenāt even petty.Ā lwj wakes up one morning to find wwx not in bed beside him and usually he would thinkĀ āoh he pulled another all-nighter /: iāll have to make him take a nap laterā or whatever but last night they definitely fell asleep together. fortunately, he only has a moment to be like i have been abandoned most cruelly, most unjustly before wwx bursts into the jingshi, covered in flour and his hair all disarray. and lwj is like ??? where have you been?? and wwx turns to him and heās like lan zhan look iāve made steamed buns for your uncle! his favourite sort! lwj is like thatās nice but why? also how do you know that? (even lwj doesnāt know what his uncleās favourite type of buns are)
wwx looks him dead in the eye and is like well the other day when your uncle and i had our weekly tea i was telling him about a theory i was working on and then the next day he gave me a book from his personal library that was honestly really helpful and iām so annoyed at him for doing that so iām making him his favourite snack as revenge.Ā and lwj has many questions,,, but mainly heās wondering when his uncle and wwx started having tea together with a dash of how did he find out what his uncleās favourite sort of buns are,,, but wwxās already running off and lwj is just left alone in the jingshi to get ready for his day, abandoned most cruelly,,,Ā like three hours later he sees his uncle reading some reports while eating wwxās buns and every time lqr takes a bite he sends the bun a betrayed look like he canāt forgive the fact that they taste good.Ā
and honestly,, thatās all i want,, wwx and lqr being like yes (: we have brunch together every tuesday and we know each otherās favourite foods and things the other person would like and i look forward to talking to him but obviously we donāt like each other and lxc is like uh okay (: that sounds about right (: while lwj is just glad that his family is warming up to wwx.Ā
Genderbending isnāt unique to this fandom, but itās easily the first time Iāve come across fics that I adore, be they spicy or fluffy. Authors are just On Point with their personalities and this was just supposed to be a quick sketch to feel the girls out.
decay by antebunny
decay
by antebunny
G, 16k, wangxian, lan qiren & wei wuxian
Summary:Ā Ā The Lans agree to take in the DafanWen after Wei Wuxian rescues them from Qiongli Path. Their only condition: that Wei Wuxian lets himself be purified of resentful energy. Lan Wangji thinks this is how he will finally get his Wei Ying back, free from demonic influences. Wei Wuxian thinks this is a fancy way of saying āexecution.ā
My comments:Ā Ā Good story, the angst is simply delicious.
Story in which wwx and wen qing just go along with the Lansā apparent desire to execute wwx as payment for harboring the wens. (Of course, the Lans want no such thing, especially lwj, who will be doing the Cleansing Ritual.) The problem is that none of the wounds from before and during being dropped into the Burial Mounds ever actually healed, and wwx is just held together with resentful energy and chutzpah.
He has one week before the ritual, so spends it with Lan Qiren trying to get down everything he can about resentful energy and why you shouldnāt go try to use it. Exposure therapy certainly has a beneficial effect on lqrās opinion of wwx⦠too bad heāll be dead tomorrow.
canon divergence, fix it, ritual, angst, the wens to go gusu, cleansing, misunderstandings, miscommunication, lan wangji doesnāt know how to court, especially if the object of his attentions thinks heās going to kill him at dawn, jiang cheng is unimpressed,Ā big sister wen qing just wants her stupid little brother wwx to take care of himself, lan qiren is not a dick, golden core reveal, hurt/comfort, hurt wei wuxian, idiots, happy ending, @antebunnyā
(You may wish to REBLOG as a signal boost for this author if you like ā or think others might like ā this story.)
I have, without exaggeration of any kind, read this fic about 12 times now??? I love it sooooooo much. All the feels. ALL OF THEM. Please do yourself a favor and read it (unless you feel like getting things done in life instead of just obsessing over this fic š¤·āāļø canāt relate but to each their own).
Seriously yāall, itās just so good š„ŗ
Sometimes I think of how like
Everyone pulled a siege on Wei Wuxian and saw his body eaten by corpses and then after they were all done they literally just went,
āSo when is he coming back?ā Like ????
They literally murdered his ass then were like, ānah he canāt be dead, heās WEI WUXIAN, OF COURSE he will come backā as if they sent him on some long journey
And then when he DOES come back (albeit, he was forced to, my boy couldnāt even Rest In Peace before SOMEONE decided it was time to pull him back again) no one was shocked everyone just went like, āoh so youāre finally back? We were waiting for you!ā ššššš