smh and sml dni

tired annie's barista. annie is my pseudonym bc i don't want to get fired. he/she

[dykeseinfeld]

and on the seventh day....the lord GOT SCHWASTEDDDD

join your party rabbis adam birkholtz and justin oluransi in saying shanah tova partying like its still 5779!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! join us to make this new year fucking sweeeeet

[samwell-student-kitchens]

Today’s recipe of the day is: scones! The recipe we’re sharing requires only ingredients we have stocked, but you can choose to toss in some additional mix-ins to make yours extra special. The kitchens will be open up until an hour before commencement, so make the most of them! Congrats on completing your finals, and we’re looking forward to cooking with you next year!

Master Scones Recipe (Any Flavor!) | Sally's Baking Addiction

Using my perfected scone recipe, build your own scones with a variety of add-ins like chocolate chips, berries, or make them savory with che

[issmhinthelibrary]

Happy end of finals!

Congratulations, everyone, we made it!

Founders WILL be open during the summer, so if you’re taking a class here, staying on campus, or just feel like dropping by to make my day a little less monotonous, come on by!

Not all of the collaborative study rooms will be open, but study rooms A and B will be available. The library cafe will also be open (with reduced hours), so don’t worry, you can still get your fill of that disgusting cherry grenadine thing they make. School spirit! Penitus potes!

Personally, I’ll be spending the summer brushing up on my guerrilla warfare tactics for library settings. Wellie’s been quiet lately, and the feud between the econ majors and the art majors hasn’t actually turned into all-out war yet, but better safe than sorry.

(Barricade practice will be in the first two weeks of June! Come on by if you’re interested–a couple of the crew people from the theater department will be helping us out. I say bonus points if you come in costume, because I’m bored. The crew people say ‘please for the love of God do not come in costume, last time we did this show Enjolras kept getting his sleeves stuck on the barricade and ripping them because they were so big and flowy.’ So, you know, it’s up to you.)

[annie-from-annies]

hey samwell! in light of new publicity from our lovely wellies (thank you tiktok!!) we’ve decided it’s time to promote our new seasonal drinks.

wellie would like it to be known that despite popular opinion, there is no poison inside the Bloody Mary. just espresso and a hint of blood! yum!

stay tuned for more!

[annie-from-annies]

if you enjoy the new Bloody Wellie, consider buying our merch! derek nurse, this means not you

[annie-from-annies]

hey samwell! in light of new publicity from our lovely wellies (thank you tiktok!!) we’ve decided it’s time to promote our new seasonal drinks.

wellie would like it to be known that despite popular opinion, there is no poison inside the Bloody Mary. just espresso and a hint of blood! yum!

stay tuned for more!

[samwell-meme-page]

[zim-bone-me]

[zim-bone-me]

[annie-from-annies]

:)

[jerrys-waitstaff]

Do NOT come to Jerry’s right now unless you want to hear loud debates about “pedestrian takes on Emily Dickinson”

[jerrys-waitstaff]

Also is William Poindexter literate? Asking for a friend.

[annie-from-annies]

he’s learning the alphabet

[the-samwell-swallow]

Hello and welcome to the 50th anniversary of our Love Issue! We have plenty of drama in store for you all ;)

Hot goss is a campus-wide community effort. If you hear something before we do (unlikely but possible), be sure to drop us a line or submit an article so we can share all the sordid details!! 

[faber-samwell]

8. Faber. 

. . .

;) 

[annie-from-annies]

thanks for including us!

[issmhinthelibrary]

um so ... I'm on the second floor rn & I just saw a school of minnows come in??? do you know if there's some like fish themed flash mob or something happening

I haven’t heard about anything? But why the fuck would you have a flash mob *in the library*????

[issmhinthelibrary]

spotted on the way to the library beware

–

First of all why.

Second of all huh?????

Third of all thank you for the warning and I’m both excited and scared to see Nurse try to maneuver around in the library wearing that

[annie-from-annies]

oh😃

[the-samwell-swallow]

i am so tired for what passes as so-called journalism at this school. everybody knows that the hideous baby in annie's wasn't jack's son, it was his baby brother 🙄. looks like we aren't the only ones who voted alicia zimmermann samwell's hottest alum. my roommate's lab partner's girlfriend's teammate totally saw her and bad bob in town the other day packing a stroller in their car

Hello dear Insider, 

Prompted by your urging for “better journalism” (we won a Pulitzer in the 40s AND the 70s but whatever!!!), our reporters hit the streets to get to the bottom of this once and for all. Here’s what they found out:

Anyway it’s not his baby brother, sooooo. Step up your game 🙄🙄🙄

As always, we rely on insiders like yourself to keep us well informed. Hear anything juicy? See a good story? Let us know! We cannot pay freelance journalists at this time.

[annie-from-annies]

check your sources, we definitely clean our floors thoroughly. idk what i could’ve possible done to make you think im not committed to my job

[jerrys-waitstaff]

Is your life ruined by the presence of the hockey team? Are you secretly stalking Justin Oluransi because you’re lowkey in love with him? Well we have the app for you:

Where Is SMH?

The app was designed and created by Charlie, one of the servers here at Jerry’s to let Samwell students stay alert about the whereabouts of SMH.

Download the app today and help out your fellow Samwellians!

[samwell-lax-bros]

Super handy!!

[bitterwind-deactivated20230218]

i want to live in the omgcp universe </3

[annie-from-annies]

attic this roaches that, what side are you REALLY on: fay-ber or fah-ber

[annie-from-annies]

looking through the notes deciding who deserves human rights or not

[annie-from-annies]

attic this roaches that, what side are you REALLY on: fay-ber or fah-ber

[faber-samwell]

Controversial but true fun fact...

“Faber” is pronounced FAH-ber. This is… unfortunately accurate, so don’t come at me. Just educating the public. 

Like, you wouldn’t say RAY-men noodles, would you??? 

RESPECT THE RINK. 

[jerrys-waitstaff]

Controversial but true fun fact…

You will be kicked out of Jerry’s if you pronounce it FAH-ber

[annie-from-annies]

seconded by annie’s management.