Sundered 6: DREAMS
Pairing: Gojo x reader
⢠Part 1  | Part 2  | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Alt. Ending
Genre:Ā Angst
tags/cw:Ā angst, babydaddy!gojo, babymomma!reader, motherhood, insecurities, arguments, implied noncon, sexual assault
word count: 6.7k
He wished to tell you that he loves you too but that wouldnāt be right.
āMegumi.ā Toji warned, raising a finger at the breathless, laughing toddler. āNo jumping on the bed. Youāll fall.ā He put an apple in his mouth as he watched them. You combed the ends of your hair, leaning on the doorframe. Toji was sitting on the bed, while the two kids were playing beside him, jumping up and down.
āYui, baby, can I ask you something?ā He gently picked the little girl up, glancing at you as he put the bowl of fruit down. He sat her on his lap, āWho's Gumi's Dada?ā Yui looked up at him, pointing a finger at his chest. āAlright, very good. How about you? Whoās your Dada?ā You know what heās trying to make her understand.
Yui just developed that habit because oftentimes, Megumi would run and call Toji. And what her playmates do, Yui does too. She would follow him screaming āDadaā as well, but Toji never failed to gently correct her. āToru!ā She raised her short hands, clapping as she looked at you. āThatās nice. So, you call Satoru Dada, okay?ā He tapped her cheek.
āToji no? No Dada?ā She shook her head at him, asking. āYes, just look at your hair.ā You butted in, pointing playfully at her as you walked towards them. You can feel Tojiās eyes on you as you sit down in front of them. Youāre still not over the conversation you had earlier. But youāre not letting the kids hear about that.
Yui was pulling at her hair, trying to see the color and looking back at Tojiās to check. āSee? You and Satoru look the same.ā You pinched her cheek āYui hair white.ā Megumi pointed at his playmate, āYeah, youāre getting good at colors!ā You raised your hand, asking for a high five, which he gladly returned with a shy smile.
Toji looked at you as you scooted beside him, before placing a hand on your thigh. Heās ready to apologize, but he doesnāt know if he can let it go. Tojiās mind is still stuck on that day you told him Satoru was still in love with you. And if heās being honest, it puts him in a really rough spot.
āItās getting late.ā You tapped on your phone, allowing it to light up. āWhy are they not tired yet?ā You yawned, feeling his thumb rub on your skin. ā'cause they ate the cake.ā He sighed, stretching his back before staring at you again, āWhat?ā You asked, watching him shake his head. āWe got things to talk about.ā He nodded.
āI know. Later, we will.ā You moved to him, pecking his lip quickly, āWe canāt talk about it with the children in here.ā Scrolling through your contacts, you pressed Satoruās number. āYui, come here, weāll talk to Dada.ā Tapping a quick message that youāll call, you sat your child in between your thighs.
āDo you want to say sorry to Dada? You were mean to him earlier.ā You poked her side, watching her nod before throwing something at her playmate.āāGumi, sit down first.ā Toji told the boy and he followed, but only to continue playing with Yui. Megumiās a quiet kid but with playmates around, he can get hyper too.
āWait, what if heās asleep now?ā You asked Yui, āMaybe we can apologize tomorrow when he picks you up, okay?ā You kissed her cheek, hearing her whine, āNow Mama. Yui says sorry.ā She tried to grab the phone. āOkay, okay. Alright. Wait a second, weāll try.ā You pressed the telephone icon. There were multiple rings but no answer.
āDadaās asleep.ā You pouted at her, āHe said he wants to sleep early so he can see you early tomorrow too!ā You tickled her side, making her flinch with a smile, followed by fits of giggle that made Toji chuckle. āGumi quickly replaced you, laughing with the little girl as he pokes her tummy.
āLet them play like that, theyāll get tired quicker,ā Toji uttered, putting a hand behind his head. āWhat happened earlier? I thought it was his schedule today.ā He asked, referring to the events earlier. āYou said that his mom was there.ā He added recalling what you were explaining to him before you fought.
āYeah, and he had to take Yui back here with me. We were supposed to eat Yuiās cake there before he takes me home because thatās what she wants. But of course, the devil ruins things.ā You rolled your eyes just thinking about his Mom. You still havenāt told your mother about it, knowing how she gets when itās about you.
āDoes Satoruās father know that sheās like that?ā Itās now your turn to nod, āHeās just tired of her, actually. I know.ā His fatherās always busy but youād never forget how heād always take your infant for a walk to give her some sun.
āOh, I thought your son wasnāt married yet. Look at this cute baby girl.ā An elderly man who once visited said to him, It worried you that your child was born out of wedlock. You used to avoid going out with them to avoid this type of situation but his father didnāt mind.
āTheyāre not married yet. This oneās aā¦āmini advanced giftā for us.ā He chuckled, lightly bouncing the infant in his arms. āOh, she's like a little girl version of Satoru.ā The elderly cooed when Yui opened her eyes. Whenever Satoruās mother tries to argue with you and heās around, heād also say a sentence or two just to stop her.
āYouāre not thinking! Getting a babyās ear pierced. What kind of a moāā She rambled on, claiming that I was harming her granddaughter when they visited Satoruās house. āYouāre crying about this more than the child who got her ears pierced.ā Satoruās father cut her off, rubbing his temples as he sat beside her.
Satoru was taking a call outside and his mother just had to take this opportunity to antagonize you. āIām her grandmother. I got the right to protect her. Sheās a newborn!ā His mother was hysterical and if it werenāt for Satoruās father, you would be talking back to her by now. āSheās 5 months old, Aiko! Sheās an infant. Stop arguing with the mother.ā
You sat far from them, not wanting to scare the baby in your arms. āSheās not capable ofāā His mother tried to retort but Satoruās father was getting fed up āYouāre not capable of understanding.ā With that, the fight came to an end and after a few minutes, Satoru was walking back to the living room. āWhatās going on?ā He asked but his mother could only scowl.
After a little while, the kids started to get sleepy. Yui was whining as she rubbed her eyes, and Megumi kept asking for the phone. āYou could let him watch something that could help him sleep. Like theāā You were about to suggest but Toji was already picking the child up, answering: āAh, no. My wife used to cut off his screen time 30 minutes before sleep.ā
You remained silent for a minute as you took off Yuiās hair ties. āLetās go to bed.ā You whispered after combing the toddlerās hair. āCome on, so we can talk.ā You lifted Yui up before walking to her room with Toji trailing behind you. When Megumi and Toji stay over, he and Yui share a bed. Thankfully, it was big enough for the two of them as Yui rolls around a lot in her sleep.
You were supposed to sleep over at Tojiās house tonight. But because of the fight that you had, you figured that sleeping here would be more comfortable. It was good that he always kept some extra clothes for Megumi in his car.
Now, the two toddlers are peacefully sleeping and you two are starting to feel the tension again.
āYou can go first, what is bothering you?ā He asked as the two of you walked back to your room. You donāt know why but for some reason, you feel embarrassed that youāre getting jealous of his wife. Not only that but it also makes you feel overreacting. You took a deep breath as you closed your eyes, telling yourself that it was better to say it now than to let it get worse.
āItās becauseā¦you keep talking about your wife.ā You let your shoulders slouch as you plopped on the bed, watching his face contort into disbelief. āMy wife?ā He repeated, he looked at you as if you just told him a dark secret. āToji, look. When you want to tell or suggest something to me, Can you not⦠always say that your wife did this and that? I mean⦠I just get uncomfortable.ā
There was a pregnant pause as he straightened up, pacing back and forth as he thought of an answer. You wished he didnāt take that long because now itās making you feel like itās hard to decide between the living and the dead. Itās making you feel like you're not even in his top five; like you only come after someone who can't even be here.
Itās making you feel like youāre just the second best. And thatās all youāll ever know of him too.
āLook, I am simply putting her words out. You know how much they mean to me, you know how much and what she means to meāā He sat down on a chair across the room, explaining as calmly as he can but that hurts and before you know it, youāre already asking him: āThen, what do I mean to you?ā Toji looked at you, mouth slightly ajar.
āYouāre jealous? Of my dead wife?ā He tried to clarify like itās the most unbelievable thing you said. āItās not jealousy, I justāā He cut you off by exhaling harshly, rubbing his face. āSheās not here, Y/N. I could only think of her, but youāre here with me. How could you feel jealous about that?ā Itās only making you feel bad; like what youāre feeling is trivial.
āItās because you make me feel that way.ā You clenched your fist. This type of pain is making you angry; not because it hurts too much but because itās pissing you off that after everything during these months, he could still make you feel like this. āI know that if you're given a chance to choose you wouldn't want me in her place, but I wish you didn't make me feel like that too much.ā
āDo you really just expect me to never reminisce about her? Sheās my first wife. I lost her so suddenly I didnāt even have time to process it.ā Everything that heās saying is wrong to you and youāre not afraid to express. You cannot live with a man who probably wishes that you were someone else. āThen, why did you even date me?ā Your words were sharp, like how youāre looking at him.
āAnd why did you even date me when you still canāt get over your ex?ā He retorted, āYou won't let me call you a petname because he used to call you that. How is that any different?ā Now, heās just as aggravated as you and you hated it. You hated arguing with him even if it was just about simple things and now that itās not something simple, it frustrates you even more.
āSatoru isnāt dead, Toji. I wished that you called me something else because itās triggering, and I donāt get to control that.ā You tried to keep your voice down as your hands clenched. āI do it because Iām protecting my peace, not because I compare the things you do.ā You panted, looking at him with nothing but exasperation in your eyes.
āToji, Iām starting to feel like a placeholder.ā You put your hands on your knees, hanging your head low. āIām starting to feel like a stand-in for your dead wife. And you would keep telling me what she used to do so I could perfect it.ā Biting your lip as you shook your head, āI wish youād just understand me. I really want to try with youā¦ā
He leaned back on the chair, keeping his eyes on you. āLook, Y/N. Iām sorry.ā He spoke after a couple of seconds, āI canāt promise to not think about her because that person; that woman is the mother of my son.ā
āAnd I want to try with you too, you know that. Maybe this will all get better with time. But I canāt find my peace knowing that heās just there, loving you.ā The room felt so big now that there was a space between you and Toji. A space that is bigger than the actual size of your room.
āThen, what should I do?ā You asked him, genuinely clueless as to what he wanted to happen. āI donāt know, Y/N.ā He shook his head, sighing. āWhat should you do when someone keeps trying to get to you?ā There was an obvious answer to that.
āYou know I canāt just do that. Heās the father of my daughter, Toji. You know where Iām coming fromāā You looked at him, your eyebrows knitted together. āI donāt. He literally told you he regrets you and your daughter, isnāt that enough for you to take Yui away?ā You shook your head, eyes tearing up as you realized what he just said.
āY/N, Iām sorry, I didnāt mean to say it like that. Babeāā He walked towards you, grasping the weight of his words. āDonāt touch me.ā You shut your eyes, not wanting to shed a tear anymore. āJustā¦just donāt talk to me right now, Toji.ā Your hands gestured for him to stay back as you shook your head.
āI canāt believe youād use my pain against me.ā You whispered to him as you stood up, walking out of the room.
ā------------------------------------------------
āWhat aboutā¦Yui?ā Your eyes glimmered as you looked at him, āAhā¦I like that.ā Satoru smiled up at you, before leaning down. āYui? Do you like thatāā Before he could even finish his sentence, you stared at each other with wide eyes. āShe just kickedā¦ā He laughed, placing his hand on your bump.
āYui. Howās my little girl?ā He asked again, earning another kick after a couple of seconds. āThatās so cute, Satoru.ā You gushed, happy tears pooling in your eyes. āShe likes that name.ā He sighed, kissing your stomach before standing up. The sinking sun made your eyes gleam.
āSheāll be here soon.ā He kissed your forehead, putting his hand around your waist as he closed his eyes feeling the wind blow on his face. At that moment, he felt like heās got everything already. At first, you talked about how everything youāll do is just for the child.
But as months went by, seeing your face first thing in the morning and last thing in the night has already become Satoruās favorite thing.
āWhat are you thinking about?ā You looked up at him as you stood there on his balcony, holding his hands on your stomach. āYou. So, kiss me.ā He leaned down as you giggled, pecking his lips. āMore.ā He intertwined your fingers with his, brushing his nose on your outer ear until you gave him another one.
You wouldnāt have met if Satoru didnāt enter the bar you were working at, and that thought made Satoru grateful that he did because this is something he wouldn't want to miss.
āY/N, stay with me.ā He whispered, feeling you lean your body on him. āI love you...Y/Nā
āKiss meā¦ā And so Naomi did, putting her lips on his as she tried to prepare him. She closed her eyes as he heard him hum, speaking other words unknown but she knew that it was to urge her to continue. āMoreā¦ā The word made her exhale, relaxing more and more as he coaxed her, probably half asleep.
Maybe heās just too sleepy and drunk. She thought, putting her hands on his chest to support herself. She raised her lower half, aligning herself with him. She traced her fingers on his arms before lacing them with his. She felt his warmth as she took a deep breath, thinking one last time before throwing it all away, frustrated.
She was ready to put it in, take all of him in her, and just let it all happen. You were a stranger to Satoru when he chose to keep a life with you. But Iām his girlfriend; his salvation and love. Satoru wouldnāt deny me and his child to me. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to find the final push to proceed.
But it only took one word from him for her to come back down. Her temperature dropped low as she felt her blood run cold.
ā...Y/N.ā Naomi halted her movements, eyes wide in shock. Did he just call your name in his sleep? ā...Stay with me.ā His brows furrowed in his sleep, and Naomi could only look as his image got blurry because of her tears. What? āI love youā¦Y/N.ā She clasped her hand over her chest, trying to move away.
Heās dreaming about you? All this time? Tears fell from her face as she tried not to make another movement or sound. And he said he loves you? Her initial suspicions were right. Naomiās throat constricted as she held in her sob. āNoā¦ā She whispered, finding it hard to breathe. Her ears were starting to ring as she struggled to get up.
*Ring. Ring. Ring.*
Naomiās breath was knocked out of her lungs as she noticed Satoruās phone ringing and vibrating beside his pillow. He canāt wake up. Not now⦠She thought as she forced her weak knees to work and grab the phone without startling him but it was impossible as it was right beside his head, partially covered by the pillow.
Before she could even get it, Satoru stirred awake, blinking his eyes up at her. āNaomi?ā His eyes scanned her before realizing the situation she put the both of them in. āWhat the fuck?ā His eyes went wide, trying to get up. Naomi was panicking, stepping off of him as he looked at her with confusion and disgust.
āS-Satoru, it isnāt likeāā She tried to hold his hand, face wet with tears as he tried to get away from her, āWhat the fuck are you trying to do?ā Pulling his pants before standing up. She picked up her silk robe, trying to give herself some decency as what she did started to sink into her. āWere youāfuck!ā Satoruās frustration was obvious, making Naomi flinch as she wept.
āWere trying to sleep with me while I was out?ā His eyes were filled with emotions; dismay, disgust, fear, and disbelief. The last thing Satoru remembered was staring at his phone before he dozed off. Then, he remembered dreaming about you. Satoru rubbed his forehead with the heel of his palm. He knows that he shouldnāt have taken shot after shot even if heās at home.
Satoruās a lightweight and Naomi knows that. Could it be⦠āYou made me drink on purpose.ā His voice lowered as he pointed a finger at her. āNoā¦I didnāt. Iāā She tried to utter, voice coming out as a squeak, āI am not asking a question. I know that you did.ā Satoru gritted through his teeth.
āDo you know what can happen to you?ā Satoru walked towards her, glowering. āI could put you behind bars for this, Naomi.ā Satoru was fuming, he didn't even know where the alcohol in his body went. He just knows that heās dizzy. Raising his hand only to put it back down again, he doesnāt want to risk anything.
āWhat were you trying to do?ā He spoke in a low voice, reaching for his phone on the bed. Your name was written in bold letters when he looked at his notifications. So, it was you who was calling. Once again saving him from whatever type of hell he got himself into. āN-nothing happened.ā She shook her head, trying to convince him with her eyes.
āIām not asking you if something happened or not, Iām asking about what you were trying to do.ā His jaw and teeth hurt by how hard he is biting down. She sat there with tears cascading down her cheek while Satoru waited for her. āPlease, donāt make me do thisāā
He can't believe that a face as angelic and tame as this could do something so evil; so vile.
āDonāt make you do what? You feel embarrassed now but you werenāt embarrassed earlier when you were assaulting me!ā He snapped, watching her eyes widen and her fear flashes on her face. āItās not that, Satoru. I wasnāt trying toā¦ā She walked to him, grabbing his hand with her cold ones. Satoru snatched his hand away, taking a step back.
His glares sent daggers to her heart. Never once has he been like this to her. āIā¦We were having problems. I thought that aā¦a childāā Naomi stopped talking, crying even more as Satoru closed his eyes and shook his head. He could tell that he was holding back on her.
āWe were having problems so you thought having a child would fix it.ā He finished for her, biting his lip. Her tendencies scared Satoru. He remembered how he decided not to tell her about his feelings for you earlier when he had every chance to because he felt bad. And now that one decision almost ruined him. āIām gonna tell you now. Nothing will fix this.ā
Naomi could feel her heart crack and break at his words. āIs it because of her?ā She scowled, thinking about his motherās words. āIs it because she got a boyfriend? Satoru, she's only trying to make you jealousāā She tried to explain, desperate to make him listen to her. āI donāt fucking care. I donāt care if she doesnāt take me back, I donāt care if she's only doing that to spite me.ā Stopping, he took a step towards her.
āNaomi, I donāt give a fuck if she hurts me back because I fucking deserve it.ā He panted, āFor all the shit I put her through when I decided to be with you instead of fixing things as I promised her.ā His mouth quivers as memories flash across his vision.
The day he let go, the day he started over for himself, the day he chose only for himself while you were out there waiting for a change.
āYou know⦠I donāt regret meeting you. Because you helped me. You were a great friend to me. But I regret choosing you over Y/N. We shouldāve never been something like this.ā He sighed deeply, listening to her sniffles and apologies. āI shouldāve just told you earlier that Iām still in love with her.ā With that sentence, all her questions got answered. Naomi's world came apart.
āYouāre getting checked tomorrow.ā He stood up straight, grabbing his phone as he headed for the door. āSatoru, nothing happened, thereās no need toāā She tried to go after him, stopping when he paused by the door. āI donāt trust you.ā He spoke before stepping out, leaving Naomi in the room with nothing but her broken heart, shame, and humiliation.
Satoru sat on the couch, running his hands through his hair. He stared blankly at the dark corner of his room, thinking about all the wrong paths he took. So much has happened and itās not even a whole day yet. First, his mother ruined his childās family day, and nowā Cutting off his own thoughts, Satoru started to suspect something.
Naomi said she spoke to his mother. Is she, by any chance, involved with the decisions she came up with?
As much as Satoru hated to think about it, with the way his mother was acting, he couldn't help himself from thinking that she told Naomi something that made her do this. Even if she didnāt directly command her to do that, she could still be involved. Tears pooled in his eyes as he thought of it all. He did his everything to try and understand his mom, to be a good son to her.
āNaomi,ā Storming back to the room, she found Naomi speaking on her phone. Terror appeared as she looked at him, hurriedly ending the call. Trudging towards her, she tried to put her phone away but with their size, it was impossible. āWho are you talking to?ā He was far too angry to listen to her pleas and calls of his name.
She desperately tried to get it back but she was too late. āSo, I was right? You talked to my mom about this.ā He laughed bitterly, clenching the phone in his hand. āSatoru, let me explain, please. I wonāt lie. We had a chat, weāā Naomi rambled on but Satoru was already pressing the call button, walking out as she chased after him.
āWhat?! You came up with that plan, deal with it!ā Satoru can tell how annoyed she was by how she immediately answered, not even thinking about who it was. Satoru tried to keep Naomi away as she tried to grab the phone, calling her mom. āDid you coach her to violate your own son?ā Satoru felt nauseous. He wants to throw up everything in his stomach.
āSatoru? No, honey, I didnāt tell her toāā Her voice cracked, shaking and tears finally escaped Satoruās eyes. Naomi could only stand there, watching the man she loves break down because of what she did. Because of what they did. She shouldāve listened to her conscience when it was telling her to stop.
Her desires brought her nothing but a quick, frail pleasure and a lifetime of agony. They gave her something to regret for the rest of her life.
āIāll be in contact with Dad. And you wonāt ever hear from me again once I settle all of this.ā His voice was hoarse, low, and rough. Not giving himself a chance to hear his motherās cries, Satoru ended the call. Before Naomi could even talk he was already harshly shrugging her touch off of him, āDonāt even try to explain. Itās clear to me now.ā
āSatoru, can you just listen for a bit, I didnāt want to do thatā'' She choked on her own sobs, āBut you did! And I could get you arrested for it.ā Satoru threatened, making her shake her head in fear. āYouāll get tested tomorrow.ā He pointed a finger at her face, before turning to leave.
Entering his childās room, Satoru sat on the bed, letting himself crumble and fall apart.
ā-------------------------------------------
āMama, mama!ā You woke up to the feeling of someone jumping on the bed beside you. āEat, Y/N. Letās eat.ā Looking down, you found two children looking at you in their pajamas. āAlright, alright. Iāll be up in a minute, calm down. ā You rubbed your eyes, smiling even as you remembered how the other night went.
After an hour of sitting in the kitchen, Toji came out. You refused to look at his face, but you can feel his cautious movements around you. You subtly wiped your cheeks, trying to hide the fact that you cried. You always know that itās alright to cry to him, but for some reason, you feel like youāre so far away from him right now.
You felt like he was holding a weapon against you. One shot could be enough to tear you down again.
āIām sorry.ā He whispered, after a couple of seconds of standing in front of you. You looked down, leaning on the kitchen counter. āI didnāt mean to say that.ā Toji took a seat on one of the chairs, patiently waiting for you to respond. Sighing, you looked up at him, seeing him looking at you with contrite in his eyes.
āYouāre a father too, Toji.ā You tucked a few strands of hair behind your ear, before letting your hand rest on your nape. āI know, Y/N. I shouldnāt have said that.ā Toji admits that he felt like you were being unfair to him. He didnāt realize that he was the one being unfair to Satoru when heās obviously trying to stay at a distance.
āPlease, understand that Iām not asking you to forget your wife. I just donāt like feeling like Iāmā¦like Iām not enough.ā You swallowed right after saying it, as if itās a strong medicine that tasted bad enough to numb your tongue. āIāve had enough of feeling like that.ā It was barely above whisper, Toji didnāt really catch it but he wrapped you in his arms.
āIām sorry, I really am.ā Kissing your forehead, he felt you relax in his arms. Toji hated himself for making you feel like this again. He hated that he let himself project his feelings on you. The jealousy was coming from him and not you. He failed to understand your point because he was blinded by his bitterness over the fact that you and Satoru are finally getting along.
He didnāt even think of the child involved.
āIām tired. I just want to sleep.ā You murmured to his chest, āAlright, alright. Letās go.ā With that, you and Toji went to bed; with his arms around you and your back against his chest. You didnāt want your head against his chest, you canāt bring yourself to look in his eyes.
You were afraid that youād hear a different name if you listened to the beat of his heart. It would be painful to see a different woman in the reflection in his eyes.
Picking up your phone, you felt the two kids lay beside you. There were texts from Satoru. You initially assumed that itās probably because of your missed call from the night before but your brows furrowed in confusion when you saw how early he sent them. 4:37 in the morning.
Opening the messages, you heard Toji enter the room. āWhat are you two doing? I said "no jumping on the bed.āā Your eyes were glued to the screen of your phone, taking in every single word in Satoruās messages. āGood morning,ā You felt a kiss on your forehead, āYou okay?ā Toji asked, curious as to why you looked worried first thing in the morning.
āSatoruās got matters, he canāt pick Yui up until later today.ā You spoke, opening the next message. I saw your call last night. I couldnāt call back because it was late. I fell asleep early. āItās probably because of what happened yesterday.ā You caught a sigh escape from Tojiās lips. āHeāll be ok. He wonāt let you get caught up in this.ā
He sat down next to you as he looked at the screen, you didnāt bother hiding it, not wanting to make him feel like youāre hiding something. āDo you want to talk to him?ā You looked at him as soon as the words escaped his lips. āItās okay. He would say that if he needed that.ā You replied, looking away after giving him a small smile.
āWell then letās have breakfast, I cooked something. The kids woke up really early.ā He chuckled, pecking your cheek. āIāll be there.ā You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him into you as you kissed his ear. āThank you so much.ā You whispered to him, feeling his weight on you.
āAnything for you.ā Only Toji knows how much he meant those words.
ā-------------------------------------------
āIt will be out in two days.ā Satoru threw the car keys on the couch, before walking towards the stairs. āYou can take all your belongings. If Iāā He trailed but Naomi cut him off, āSatoru, Iām sorry. I was just desperate toāā He gave her a warning look, making her look down. Heās been nothing but cold to her.
āYouāre desperate so you tried to do that to me?ā He shook his head, āYou know, Iām sorry too. I regret that I didnāt just tell you what was really going on. I should've just broken up with you that day. I thought I could save it if I tried, even just for the sake of the time we were together and what you did for me, but I canāt. This wouldn't have happened, you wouldn't have gotten a chance to do that.ā Satoru was getting harsher and harsher with his words.
Filled with mixed emotions, he watched as the woman he trusted cried again. Sheās been crying since the night before but he couldnāt find it in himself to comfort her. He doesnāt even want to be under the same roof as her at that moment. When he thinks about what couldāve happened if he didnāt wake up on time, or if you didnāt call, all he feels is dread.
āI will be the first to touch the test results.ā Satoru declared as he clenched his jaw, āSatoruā¦canāt we just wait untilāā Naomi tried to grab his arm, looking at him with teary, pleading eyes. Sheās shaking, and her fingers are freezing. āWait until what? āTill I canāt go back? āTil you achieve what youāre trying to do?! āTil you ruin every hope that I have?!ā The woman cowers in fear and embarrassment.
āNaomi, are you not scared? Of this mess that you got me in?ā He hissed at her face, watching her look down as she sobbed. Sheās visibly trembling at this point, āYou should be ashamed.ā Satoru nodded his head, clenching his fists. āFor what youāve done... you should be ashamed.ā He walked out of the room, slamming the door on her as she fell down to her knees, wailing.
Locking the door, Satoru changed quickly, before laying down on the bed. His headās been killing him since last night; hangover, sleeplessness and stress are continuously tearing through every muscle. He looked at his phone, seeing the hundred missed calls from his mom who probably came earlier, as expected, when they went to the hospital.
Satoru was just about to put his phone down when it started to vibrate. Your contact with a picture of Yui and you flashed on the screen. He didnāt waste any time answering the video call. Seeing his little girl made all the tiredness leave his body. She looked down at the phone, smiling at him.
āDada! Dada, Hi!ā Waving at him, āHey, baby. Iāll pick you up in a bit, alright? Dada just needs to nap.ā He watched her scrunch her brows, seeing your frowning face for a second. āYui donāt want.ā She whined, hearing the word ānap.ā Laughing, Satoru saw you peek on the screen, āNot Yui. Dada will nap.ā
āTake your time to rest. You look really tired.ā You talked, holding a baby plate in your hand. āI just noticed sheās starting to look like you.ā He chuckled, sighing as his eyes blinked slowly. You remained silent on the other end of the line, feeding a spoon full to the toddler.
āWhat were you going to say to Dada?ā You talked to Yui, wiping her chin. āSorry. Yui, uhm, Yui not nice.ā The view kept shaking as she struggled to hold the phone in her small hands. āItās ok, baby. Dada will buy you the cake, as promised.ā The way her eyes lit up as she heard the word made Satoru forget about his problems.
After a little bit of talking and watching his daughter eat, you took the phone from her but still kept the camera on her face. āSay bye-bye now, let Dada sleep for a bit.ā You spoke, and the kid obediently followed, waving her father goodbye, āBye-bye. Dada.ā She looked up at you, āSee you later,ā Repeating each word you say, Satoru could only tell her how much he loves her.
He wished to tell you that he loves you too but that wouldnāt be right.
āIāll call later. ā He talked to you, hearing you hum, āAlright, rest well.ā With that, you ended the call, leaving Satoru on the verge of sleep. He prayed to dream of you and maybe even do the things that he wished to do with you. He wished that he could just ask you to hold him before he breaks down again.
He realized that all this time, itās you, itās your arms that he needed to put him back together again permanently and not just as some sort of comfort that could so easily break. If he had a choice to turn back time, heād turn it all the way back to when you, Yui, and he were together; not before he met you.
Because even if his relationship with you began with an obligation, it was still his choice to love you.
ā------------------------------------------------------
TWO DAYS LATER
āYeah, donāt worry about it. Itās alright.ā He spoke to the phone, struggling to put his seatbelt on. Satoruās been anxious, he couldnāt even sleep properly. Today, heāll be receiving the test results. āI just got back from Tojiās, and heās got something to do so he couldnāt take me to pick Yui up.ā You sighed from the other line.
You were about to take a cab to Satoruās house but he insisted that heāll just drop Yui off back to you. āLetās talk about the car next time, okay? So, you donāt have to commute.ā He reminded, hearing you hum. āYeah, ok. Iāll tell Toji about it too.ā With that, you bid farewell, telling him to drive safely before dropping the call.
āAlright, letās go to Mama.ā Satoru looked over at his daughter who was sucking on her binky. She nodded eagerly, wiggling her little legs as she claps her small hands. Satoru didnāt tell you about what happened with Naomi. He doesnāt even know if heāll be able to. That night was still clear to him. He closed his eyes, grabbing the steering wheel before starting to drive.
The car ride to your house was filled with little giggles and occasional singing of his little girl. She slowed Satoru down, preventing his mind from overheating from thinking about things as she playfully calls him every now and then. "Dada! Yui hair!" She pulled at the strands, scrunching her nose as she laughed. "Dada hair!" Her fingers pointed at him.
Satoru smiled at her through the mirror, instantly understanding what she was implying. "Ah, yes, we have the same hair." He cooed, making the little girl cover her eyes as she smiled, "You're a smart kid." In no time, the two of them reached your apartment. The kid kept hugging her Dad as they walked up your steps, as if sensing his distress.
"Baby!" You opened the door for them, kissing Yui's cheek. He can see your eyes scan his face, a hint of worry was etched on your features, "Would you like to come in? How did things go?" You were reluctant to ask the question, worried that it might be a bit too private for you to know. But it looked like he needed it when a small, sad smile appeared on his lips.
"Not good," He sighed, "I'll tell you about it some other time." Satoru went inside but only to put down his daughter's bag. "I, uh, have a delivery coming today, soā¦" Nodding, your mouth formed an 'O' shape, "Alright, you better get back then. Say bye to Dada." You adjusted your daughter on your hip, urging her to give her father a kiss.
"Bye love, I'll see you in a few days." He pecked the kids forehead, patting her hair and smiling at you as he went. His head, his heart and his feet felt heavy as he walked away. It's like the second Satoru left your apartment, his headache was back knowing that whatever's waiting for him at his house could be another obstacle to pass. And the worst; it could be something that he can never run away from.
He arrived only a couple of minutes earlier than the mailman. The envelope felt like a tonne in his hand as he took it, signing quickly before thanking the worker. Satoru stared at it as he walked to his living room, sitting down on the couch when he felt like his knees were about to give up. With cold fingers, he opened it, going directly to the section where he could find his peace.
Eyes widening as he breathed out the air he didn't know was holding in, he slammed the papers on the table as he pulled his phone out and dialed the number he's been hoping to call ever since the incident.
"Dad, I need to talk to you."
PREV | NEXT
taglist: @forever-war @astral-hydromancy @witchbybirth @starshinedowo @coffee-on-a-rainyautumn @lost-lonnie @haitanifxn @dearsunaa @clairdelunaax @anxious-chick @tigerchaeee @gingerspicelattemix @tsukkisrightpinky @crowiechan @makimais @infinitemoonlight @iloveblogging2 @cloudsinthecosmos @uchiwife @bellaadonnas @lawlietily @lilxnvm @poopoobuttsy @yihona-san06 @luhvbot @sagekko @asbony @uhremmi
@kurookinnie @why-am-i-here-again-shitheads @galaxyfever @guenievresworld @y2kcy3brz @chocokaylarobin @hopeannalea @shizuuuuuuuu @tojirin @teapartyspilled @ackermendick @shadowarchon @vinkiesz @awkwardaardvarkforever @nvvacanesworld @wolffmaiden @underburningstars @rntrsuna @vampgguk @doulcha @creolequeen11210 @reosnagi



















