it remembered death, that moment millennia ago that spurred the inception and destruction of the universe. remembered it in all its excruciating detail, as the details of a past life were wrought to nonexistence and the lines of a scarred body ceased to exist as every matter particle that made up her being gave in to the burden of the entropy and distortion of an aging universe. it remembered death as the punishment it'd always taken it to be in that first life, had seen the end coming, had ducked into it headfirst with all the headstrong stupidity and naivety it'd known in life, had hooked teeth and claws and blades into the soft flesh under its neck, rode with screeching, tormenting detail along the exposed skin of its stomach, fell to her knees with the beast it could not beat following in a similar crumble as her last breaths were drumbeats and it'd gone out in a blaze of glory!
it hated the world, hated all that created it, hated all that held it together, and it'd lived long, but not long enough, never long enough. but too long, for her flames to silver and grow white hot, too hot to fight against without being burned, for the metal frame of her bones to grow to heavy, for the weight of her body to be almost too much of a burden to carry, for the stillness that set in and threatened to reduce her to rust to leave her feeble and weak.
it was too long for her body to handle, but not long enough to see herself through to an end. so it'd decided to end everything with herself, to take out her predecessor in one final fuck you to the universe, to show what it'd attained in her lifetime, to take everything it hated out at once.
oh it hated herself, hated her stupidity and the mistakes of her past life as heat overtook her and true pain was all it knew for an eternity in so few minutes. it felt her regrets as it was rewritten, screamed with the voice of all things ending as it fell again and again into annihilation, as her breaths fell backwards into a heaving chest and what once was the form of her corpse was not, until her site of death was only a place of punishment and it experienced in a small eternity what was the burden of the inception of a universe and the folly of all that inhabited it. her cross was her own body and in it existed the entropy of an immensity expanding that was destined to collapse, but met its destiny in her bones and in her breaths and in her eyes.
and in her inception it ceased to call itself by what it had once known as words so familiar, for it was nothing, and such names were lost to the void, syllables strung out so thin moving towards singularity, something it knew and something it could not escape, but something it consumed to move further.
there was a moment where the pain of annihilation ceased, stretched thin as it did as its mind passed some event horizon and traveled on to singularity, and it understood the destruction it had sought, and it knew the heat that was cold and the disorder it was to live and the energy that was its creation was not its own, though the force of it crushed the lungs of the beast with the weight of a collapsing star and its mind was infinite as the force of a revelation so great swept out from behind its eyes.
for it had seen and it had known, its death was only a beginning, it would be the destruction it sought, for it was the end of the universe, it was annihilation, and as it never ceased to bear the burden of the end of all things, it would live its true death forever, until it ceased, until it again collapsed in on itself, until there was quiet.
