Ash They/she 30

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

[deathgasmic]

don’t let the horny posting fool you too much, i am a hopeless romantic little bitch at heart

[depsidase]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

more vampires with multigenerational adopted human offspring. they wake up, get the tykes ready for pre-school, beg their preteen not to get caught on their phone in class again (caught being the emphasis, they're a realist), venmo their college kid for "textbook money" (as if they don't teach all their kids how to pirate that shit), have a lunch meeting with their 49-year-old-realtor-kid to discuss the possibility of quietly buying another local warehouse that would absolutely not be used for tax evasion/illegal artifact storage purposes, then spend the afternoon in a bloodthirsty mahjong battle at their eldest kid's (82) snazzy new retirement community

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

and then after everyone's bedtime they eat people or whatever

[cinnamoncianna]

I need someone to be so deeply in love w me like they’re always like it’s so cute when you do this I love it when you do that when I saw this it reminded me of you etc etc like I’m too hot for anything less

[wastedjackpot]

[latenightex]

It’s officially playtime ~

[excorpiano]

[fellowshipofthenoodles]

stubby nubs!

[bruntalism]

[bruntalism]

[mindfulxmuse]

i hope your kink is me

[vampiiiyr]

girls will see your fingers and imagine what it would feel like inside of them

[mysticfemme]

Thinking about...

"Oh good girl, you're so good for me."

"Fuck baby, you're so tight."

"I know, I know baby, it's okay, just breathe for me, come on, just breathe."

"You take me so well, fuck, you're making such a mess, angel."

"Look at me. Look at me when I'm talking to you. Good girl."

"God, you look so pretty underneath me like this."

"Come on baby, just one more. There we go, that's it sweetheart. You can do it for me."

"Oh darling, you thought we were done? We've barely even started."

"Fuck princess, oh fuck, you feel so fucking good, you're so fucking wet for me, fuck-"

men dni

[bunjywunjy]

I was walking through the toy aisle at Target when I found this thing and had a VIOLENT AND IMMEDIATE FLASHBACK to when JP first came out and they had a bunch of REALLY COOL T Rex toys that I would have sold one of my scrawny small-child limbs for but my mother wouldn’t get me one because they were “too violent and also ate people” :(

[bunjywunjy]

hnn I WANT IT SO BAD

[bunjywunjy]

on closer inspection, it makes a lot of really obnoxious noises and is also Too Expensive. BUT FEAR NOT I found this slightly smaller dude wedged in the back!

IT HAS BITE ACTION, AND THAT’S THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS

[bunjywunjy]

now we enter the testing phase

yup. looks good.

[bunjywunjy]

Extreme Chompin T-Rex says IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS

[digitaldiscipline]

Can we take a moment to appreciate that we can use this as a rosetta stone to say “EXTREME CHOMPIN’ “ in four languages?

[bunjywunjy]

OH SHIT YOU’RE RIGHT, let me check the garbage to see if it’s still there! hopefully I didn’t destroy it in my excitement

[bunjywunjy]

*roar sound effect*

[bunjywunjy]

IMPORTANT UPDATE:

[bunjywunjy]

update update: I re-sized her collar and found a bag of toy bones at the craft store. I haven’t put this much effort into a non-school thing since my last job search, help

(secret bonus: the other side of her tag)

[crochetninja]

There’s more!

[nuggsmum]

I love.

[bunjywunjy]

I saw that people are reblogging the thread again, so I thought I’d give you all an update on how Wexter is doing!

(just fine)

[bunjywunjy]

Wexter And The Case Of Her Continuing Marvelously Naughty Garden Adventures

OP and Wexter can break all my toes and I would still send a thank you card

[bunjywunjy]

Wexter says SHE WOULD NEVER DO SUCH A THING (but she might chew your ankles a little bit maybe)

[bunjywunjy]

so it’s come to my attention that at some point this weekend Wexter blew past 100,000 notes, and I for one think that’s very cash money of her.

[bunjywunjy]

it’s been a few weeks, I suppose we should check up on the AHSGSHGAFB?!

ajdhf.

well that’s just,,,

REXCELLENT

[bunjywunjy]

two hundred THOUSAND notes???!?!

[bunjywunjy]

HELL

YES

HELL

FUCKING

YES.

Nearing on 375K Notes!!! What in the Paleolithic are y'all gonna do when they top 400K?!

[bunjywunjy]

cry, probably

[splendentgoddess]

Reblogging to get you one note closer to crossing the 400k mark!

[subbyboymax]

IT’S TIME

[bunjywunjy]

YOU MANIACS. okay, here we go!

HAIL TO THE QUEEN

LONG MAY SHE REIGN!

(she was a skater Rex, she said see you later Rex, she’s finally hit 400k!)

[bunjywunjy]

we’re coming to you live from Halloween 2022, where Wexter continues to be ridiculously jawsome!

this year we’re doing a much-beloved character from classic literature, “Dracula with inappropriate straw hat”

thanks everyone, may your weens be hollow and your candy be many!

[bunjywunjy]

hey! HEY. it’s Halloween 2023! AND YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHAT WEXTER IS DRESSED UP AS THIS YEAR.

she’s… (WEXTER! here girl!) she’s a… a…..

she’s a T. Rex.

GOTTEM!

[dduane]

…Another epic.

[elkeevez]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[hopelessboy]

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse

[anxietyproblem]

[flowerytale]

Nikos Kazantzakis, from “Report to Greco”, tr. by P. A. Bien

[feelingsoftheday]

Don’t be mad when I give someone else what I wanted to give you.

[feelingsoftheday]

You deserve someone who wants to figure it out with you.