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YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL FLOWER WE ARE LUCKY YOU EXIST
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I love everything about this artist's work. It's helped my friends, and it helps me from time to time. Give them a follow.
You know maybe amatonormativity exists but it's hard to say that when I'm 90% sure gay people were not being encouraged to seek out relationships by the wider culture until maybe 2005-ish
what's amatonormativity?
A Tumblr-based sociological theory that boils down to "compulsory alloromanticism" but I've also seen it defined to include monogamy as another expectation under the header of amatonormativity
Amatonormativity is not tumblr based- it was not created on tumblr nor was it popularised on tumblr. Amatonormativity was not even coined by asexual people or with asexual people in mind exclusively.
Amantonormativity was coined by feminist academic Elizabeth Brake in her book “Minimising Marriage” to refer to:
the assumptions that a central, exclusive, amorous relationship is normal for humans, in that it is a universally shared goal, and that such a relationship is normative, in that it should be aimed at in preference to other relationship types. (Source)
Amatornormativity doesn’t just affect asexual and aromantic people. Whilst it’s often asexual and aromantic people you see talking about amatonormativity (because we become hyper aware of it due to how it affects us), it actually impacts the lives of people of all orientations, including LGBT+ people.
Amatonormativity in practice is…
The assumption that all single people are unhappy with their status and looking not to be single.
“Coming of age” milestones often revolving around romantic accomplishments (first kiss, first crush, first love, marriage, etc).
Non romantic partnerships (sexual or platonic) being looked down upon.
A sort of relationship hierarchy where marriage is at the top and everything else falls somewhere below it.
The expectation for romantic partners to be more important than jobs, hobbies or other commitments in a person’s life. And the belief that people who choose to pursue the former are selfish.
People who are not seeking exclusive romantic relationships being seen as less mature, stable, trustworthy or settled.
The structuring of laws and society on the basis that eventually everyone will be in a committed romantic partnership (marriage).
The toxic idea of a “friendzone” (which of course, overlaps with misogyny), where friendship with a woman is seen as “second prize” to a relationship with her.
People settling for someone they’re not really happy with or compatible with just to fulfil the desire or expectation to have a partner.
Non-aromantic asexual people trying to normalise their orientation by saying they can still “fall in love” or “have relationships” “just like anyone else”.
Asexual people or people who don’t feel attraction to anyone feeling pressured to seek out and enter into relationships.
And much more…
Violations of amatonormativity would include dining alone by choice, putting friendship above romance, bringing a friend to a formal event or attending alone, cohabiting with friends, or not searching for romance. (Source)
Also the way turning down a request for a date, while single, is often viewed as some sort of terrible insult instead of an analysis of poor compatibility.
Also the idea that it’s wrong to break up with someone unless they’ve done something objectively terrible enough to “deserve it” rather than because the relationship isn’t doing anything for you.
It also encourages people to stay in abusive relationships because it pushes being in a relationship is the highest priority/being alone is terrible.
Also....
“I'm 90% sure gay people were not being encouraged to seek out relationships by the wider culture until maybe 2005-ish”
Yes.
Yes, they were.
They were encouraged to seek out heterosexual relationships.
You can’t uncouple Amantonormativity from Heteronormativity. One is built into the other. Heteronormativity means there is one right way to have a life, and that way is being straight, is falling in love, being monogamous, is complying to certain standards of beauty, it’s being white and thin and abled.
ALL of those things go into the ideal norm that is oppressing ALL OF US. It doesn’t matter in WHICH way you stray from the heteronormative ideal --- if you’re polyamorous or if you’re gay or if you don’t fall in love or you love while disabled. ANY WAY you stray from it is punished.
Amatonormativity is not just “you must fall in love.” It’s “You must fall in love in the right way with the right person.”
So yes, amatonormativity is absolutely linked to heteronormativity.
And, as ace-and-ranty hinted, it is also linked to the supremacy of monogamy. Amatonormativity also excludes all forms of polyamory.
It also has something to do with why gays successfully got gay marriage before they got, say, “federal protection from discrimination in adoption cases” or “the right to be gender nonconforming in public school”. People who think it’s weird to see a man in a dress can still wrap their head around “he wants to marry the man he loves” because all you did was swap the expected pronouns.
Amatonormativity does pressure people into heteronormative relationships, but it also exists within the gay community and allies, to place a monogamous marriage to a same-sex partner above, say, a polyamorous polycule, or an asexual living with a queerplatonic friend.
I, finally, have a word to describe what the hell I've been pressured towards since I was young, and I want no part of it.
HERE’S THE THING THOUGH
I used to work for a call center and I was doing a political survey and I called this number that was randomly generated for me and the way our system worked was voice-activated so when the other person said hello you’d get connected to them, so I just launch right into my “Harvard University and NPR blah blah blah” thing and then there’s this long pause and I think the person’s hung up even though I didn’t hear a click
And then I hear “you shouldn’t be able to call this number.”
So I apologize and go into the preset spiel about because we aren’t selling anything, etc. etc. and the answer I get is
“No, I know that. What I mean is that it should be impossible for you to call this number, and I need to know how you got it.”
I explain that it’s randomly generated and I’m very sorry for bothering him, and go to hang up. And before I can click terminate, I hear:
“Ma’am, this is a matter of national security.”
I accidentally called the director of the FBI.
My job got investigated because a computer randomly spit out a number to the Pentagon.
This is my new favourite story.
When I was in college I got a job working for a company that manages major air-travel data. It was a temp gig working their out of date system while they moved over to a new one, since my knowing MS Dos apparently made me qualified.
There was no MS Dos involved. Instead, there was a proprietary type-based OS and an actually-uses-transistors refrigerator-sized computer with switches I had to trip at certain times during the night as I watched the data flow from six pm to six AM on Fridays and weekends. If things got stuck, I reset the server.
The company handled everything from low-end data (hotel and car reservations) to flight plans and tower information. I was weighed every time I came in to make sure it was me. Areas of the building had retina scanners on doors.
During training. they took us through all the procedures. Including the procedures for the red phone. There was, literally, a red phone on the shelf above my desk. “This is a holdover from the cold war.” They said. “It isn’t going to come up, but here’s the deal. In case of nuclear war or other nation-wide disaster, the phone will ring. Pick up the phone, state your name and station, and await instructions. Do whatever you are told.”
So my third night there, it’s around 2am and there’s a ringing sound.
I look up, slowly. The Red phone is ringing.
So I reach out, I pick up the phone. I give my name and station number. And I hear every station head in the building do the exact same. One after another, voices giving names and numbers. Then silence for the space of two breaths. Silence broken by…
“Uh… Is Shantavia there?”
It turns out that every toll free, 1-900 or priority number has a corresponding local number that it routs to at its actual destination. Some poor teenage girl was trying to dial a friend of hers, mixed up the numbers, and got the atomic attack alert line for a major air-travel corporation’s command center in the mid-west United States.
There’s another pause, and the guys over in the main data room are cracking up. The overnight site head is saying “I think you have the wrong number, ma’am.” and I’m standing there having faced the specter of nuclear annihilation before I was old enough to legally drink.
The red phone never rang again while I was there, so the people doing my training were only slightly wrong in their estimation of how often the doomsday phone would ring.
Every time I try to find this story, I end up having to search google with a variety of terms that I’m sure have gotten me flagged by some watchlist, so I’m reblogging it again where I swear I’ve reblogged it before.
But none of these stories even come close to the best one of them all; a wrong number is how the NORAD Santa Tracker got started.
Seriously, this is legit.
In December 1955, Sears decided to run a Santa hotline. Here’s the ad they posted.
Only problem is, they misprinted the number. And the number they printed? It went straight through to fucking NORAD. This was in the middle of the Cold War, when early warning radar was the only thing keeping nuclear annihilation at bay. NORAD was the front line.
And it wasn’t just any number at NORAD. Oh no no no.
Terri remembers her dad had two phones on his desk, including a red one. “Only a four-star general at the Pentagon and my dad had the number,” she says.
“This was the ‘50s, this was the Cold War, and he would have been the first one to know if there was an attack on the United States,” Rick says.
The red phone rang one day in December 1955, and Shoup answered it, Pam says. “And then there was a small voice that just asked, ‘Is this Santa Claus?’ ”
His children remember Shoup as straight-laced and disciplined, and he was annoyed and upset by the call and thought it was a joke — but then, Terri says, the little voice started crying.
“And Dad realized that it wasn’t a joke,” her sister says. “So he talked to him, ho-ho-ho’d and asked if he had been a good boy and, ‘May I talk to your mother?’ And the mother got on and said, ‘You haven’t seen the paper yet? There’s a phone number to call Santa. It’s in the Sears ad.’ Dad looked it up, and there it was, his red phone number. And they had children calling one after another, so he put a couple of airmen on the phones to act like Santa Claus.”
“It got to be a big joke at the command center. You know, ‘The old man’s really flipped his lid this time. We’re answering Santa calls,’ ” Terri says.
And then, it got better.
“The airmen had this big glass board with the United States on it and Canada, and when airplanes would come in they would track them,” Pam says.
“And Christmas Eve of 1955, when Dad walked in, there was a drawing of a sleigh with eight reindeer coming over the North Pole,” Rick says.
“Dad said, ‘What is that?’ They say, ‘Colonel, we’re sorry. We were just making a joke. Do you want us to take that down?’ Dad looked at it for a while, and next thing you know, Dad had called the radio station and had said, ‘This is the commander at the Combat Alert Center, and we have an unidentified flying object. Why, it looks like a sleigh.’ Well, the radio stations would call him like every hour and say, ‘Where’s Santa now?’ ” Terri says.
For real.
“And later in life he got letters from all over the world, people saying, ‘Thank you, Colonel,’ for having, you know, this sense of humor. And in his 90s, he would carry those letters around with him in a briefcase that had a lock on it like it was top-secret information,” she says. “You know, he was an important guy, but this is the thing he’s known for.”
“Yeah,” Rick [his son] says, “it’s probably the thing he was proudest of, too.”
So yeah. I think that might be the best wrong number of all time.
Source: http://www.npr.org/2014/12/19/371647099/norads-santa-tracker-began-with-a-typo-and-a-good-sport
OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS.
I’ve seen the first post a bunch of times, but never the story of How The Santa Tracker Started.
Even when not Christmas time, this must be reblogged
This brought a smile to my face when I needed it. This is humanity doing the proper thing.
I hear everything when I lay my head down. The fridge, the outlets in my room, the sound of the floorboards in my roommate's room. Every little sound reaches out to scream at me as the lights dim.
The first funny bitch was Cain, who straight up lied to God after killing his brother.
God: where’s Abel?
Cain: fuck if I know??? I’m not in charge of him
It is TRAGIC that you can’t read this in the original Hebrew.
God: Where’s the Sheepkeeper?
Cain: Do I LOOK like a Brotherkeeper?
God: hey where’s Abel???
Cain:
He killed his yonger brother in cold blood because he was jealous of him. There is in no way anything funny about this. No hesitation just poped a rock over his turned head, droped his body over the edged and tried to lie to god about what he did. FUCK YALL CRAZIES!!!
oh are those the receipts, Cain is problematic now?
Cainceled
Gotta say Cain got a bad rap in this particular piece of fiction. If he killed Abel, it would have been the first time a person died, right? What the fuck would you have said in his shoes to this suddenly present all powerful being that's been absent virtually all of your life that's now asking about your brother who isn't moving?
I'm working the polls like I've got daddy issues.
Oh wait! I do. He's voting for Trump 🤬
Orange sus. Vote him out!
The second image isn't mine. If you know who it belongs to, let me know, and I'll give them credit.
Love is love is love.
I don't know how to stop people hating other people, and I'm not sure how to keep from shutting out those who place the value of things or selfish behavior over human life. Black Lives Matter, and I will continue to stand up with strangers, friends and family for as long as it takes. I love humanity for its potential to do great things that will benefit the world and all living on it. I just needed somewhere to write out these thoughts. Take care of yourselves out there and look out for one another. Masks up!
Wandering fantasy
Awake or half asleep, I thrive in a world of darkness. I hear the night winds playing through the trees, Rustling the leaves, causing the faintest shivers. I see the moon casting itself onto the water, Leaving a strange effect upon the river. I smell the fresh dew in the air, the scent of nightfall. With each breath, my energy is renewed As though I am awakened from a restful slumber. The very stars give life to my bones, They feed my soul and lift my spirits. From the shadows I feel it, not a threat, But like friends long since past but lingering still. My countenance grows stronger with every step, Each footfall lends me strength and vigor. I am all at once living and reborn Like a Phoenix begins anew, each night awakens me. The night calls to me, a distant memory of my soul. I am at home upon the starlit ground, Beneath the canopy of moon shadowed forests, Walking through fields riddled in phantoms, My essence thrives in the world of night. Dusk to dawn mirrors my very soul, And in the gray hours of morning, Before the sun raises his bright eye to the earth, I see all of it, every whisk of light, Every whisper of dust thrown about And every leaf playing upon the wind. The magic of this world springs forth, Gripping me in a patch of time frozen and unmoving, And I marvel at it's simplicity and raw beauty. I wonder how anyone could have disbelief in magic, In love, in hope and all that's right in the universe, And then it happens... Light pierces my eyes into my very mind Robbing all thought away with an influx of sensation. I lose myself in the warmth, the brilliant shine, And in that moment, it fades away. The morning sun has snuffed out the spark. The flickering of dawn's pre light outdone. I am cast out of my shadow realm. My monsters, creatures and beasts all perish in light. Even the brightest of my own are swept from view, I am once again in a world of perpetual light, And my only solace is in the coming darkness. Perhaps, it is not only the shadows I love so much. Perhaps, it is all that can be seen when untouched. When the sun is kind enough to lower his beacon, A new form of light is visible, new life is visible. I see it in all the forms I could possibly imagine. The sheer magnitude of this other life bewilders, And it leaves my ever moving mind to wonder... What else is out there? Gabriel Joseph Greco September 24th, 2016
Gioiosa malinconia by baroquedoll
What I wouldn't give for a quiet stroll through the woods in winter.
Damn. This wolf is angry.
The Moon.
Her eyes can see through you. She knows you better than you know yourself. She’s always watching. Her influence is inescapable. She can bring you back from the darkness and guide your way home.
by Skyler Brown
On days when the world seemed big and vast and full of wonder, Hugo would take his imagination for a walk into the unknown.
To be listened to when you have an overabundance of hope and optimism for the future (or would like to, for a brief moment).
Gene Wilder - Pure Imagination
If you have yet to watch this film, do it soon. It is well worth it. Every second of it.