Burning Waffle Ninja

Writer. Fanfictioner. Longtime RWBY fan and theorizer. Elite Rosebird-Parents Conspiracy Theorist. Find the fanfiction here if you're interested:  https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anthurak/

[anthurak]

Rosebird Parents Theory Masterpost

aka; Raven Branwen is Ruby’s real Daddy, aka; Ruby is actually Summer’s and Raven’s magic lesbian lovechild.

So I thought it was about time I actually compiled a proper consolidated list of the numerous discussions, explorations, ruminations and half-crazed rants I’ve done on this theory. In case anyone wants to see the full... scope of it all.

(Assembled in chronological order of original posting)

The shitpost that got me started down this rabbit hole.

“Raven the Deadbeat Dad” (first proper theory-post I ever did on the subject)

“When a Crazy Theory just keeps seeming more crazily plausible...” (holy shit I found actual EVIDENCE to this?!)

“Back on this Hot bit of Crazy...” (analyzing the ONE time Ruby and Raven have spoken on screen. Plus some musings on Cinder.)

Reading Between the Lines of just how LITTLE Yang and Ruby actually KNOW about their family (Remember how Summer, Qrow and Tai didn’t even TELL Yang that Raven was her mother until AFTER Summer ‘died’?)

A Rant about realizing that Character Designs are NOT accidental. (Holy shit, CRWBY had to have CHOSEN to make Raven look like she does...)

Why Taiyang is still Ruby’s Father (hey remember how we all agree that Summer is ALSO Yang’s mom?)

Reading Between the Lines of The Warrior in the Woods (has anyone ever thought about how much we ACTUALLY KNOW about the relationship between Summer, Raven and Tai?)

Yes, I do in fact know this all sounds crazy. (It’s not my fault is KEEPS MAKING SO MUCH SENSE!)

A funny little detail about Ruby, Summer and Raven... (Hey remember how this show is so obsessed with color-theory that just about EVERY character is named for a color in some way?)

A theory on how Raven could have knocked up Summer (AKA how it would actually be pretty fitting for Ruby to be a Rosebird magical lesbian lovechild...)

A short rambling/reaction to Summer’s official design (REMEMBER WHAT I SAID ABOUT ‘SAME THREE COLORS’?!!!)

Another brief rambling/reaction to the show giving us Summer and Raven mysteriously running off together before cutting back to Ruby.

Why Taiyang is STILL Ruby’s Father (and why it’s kind of hilariously irrelevant as an argument/point against Raven being Ruby’s secret deadbeat dad)

Why Tai and Qrow would hide Raven being Ruby’s dad (AKA, You know how adults in RWBY have a BAD HABIT of hiding really important shit from their kids?)

An In-Depth Analysis of the Interpersonal Relationships of Team STRQ (and why Rosebird is DEFINITELY a thing)

Why Rosebird Parents actually plays in a LOT of classic fantasy tropes (and how Raven has a surprising amount in common with a certain Star Wars character...)

A long overdue look at the foreshadowing potential of the Cotta-Arcs (and how Adrian could totally be the proverbial Smoking Gun for this whole theory)

A brief consideration on why Qrow wouldn’t have revealed Ruby’s true parentage (and why this reinforce Qrow as the closest thing Ruby has to a functional father figure)

What’s the point of all this? (AKA; Yes, Raven being Ruby’s real dad DOES in fact add something to the narrative)

Thoughts on how we might actually GET a Rosebird Parents Reveal in Volume 10 (It’s not a climax to a narrative arc, but an INCITING INCIDENT.)

A Brief Observation on something that makes Ruby different from Summer (and happens to make her SIMILAR to Raven)

Possible Rosebird Parents Foreshadowing in the Big Volume 9 Loredump (I swear I wasn’t even LOOKING for this one XD)

How I’m Hoping a Rosebird Parents Reveal Will Happen (and how I think Ruby should get the show’s one and only F-bomb XD)

A More Serious Discussion on the Potential Mechanics of a Rosebird Reveal (and forgive my completely forgetting about one major point lol)

How Ruby Takes After Raven... (aka where do you think Ruby go her ruthless and manipulative side from? XD)

(Supplementary Material not directly about Rosebird but related nonetheless)

Summer and the Crown (a theory on just WHY Summer went after Salem alone, and how Raven knows so much.)

The Disappearance of Raven SadEdgyBirdMom (theorizing on the REAL reason Raven left and why the reasons she’s given are probably bullshit)

Not the Bird You’re Thinking of... (analyzing the parallels between Team STRQ and Team RWBY and why Raven ISN’T her teams equivalent to Blake)

NtBYTo supplemental (Team STRQ is the ‘Disaster Team RWBY’)

Why the Vacuo arc is going to be VERY important to Ruby and Yang (or why the STRQ family reunion is going to be MESSY...)

The Ravens’ Odin (aka; how Ruby possibly/probably being an allusion to the norse god Odin can tie into all this)

An observation on the fact that only RUBY got to see the vision of Summer leaving with Raven... (hey look, a plot hook for RUBY to track down RAVEN)

Analyzing the fandom’s perception of the Summer-Raven-Tai relationship (and why we should probably be questioning just about EVERYTHING we learned about them from Yang...)

How and Why QrowTai is the REAL parallel to Bumbleby on Team STRQ (and how Rosebird parallels White Rose)

A trio of posts that I am collectively calling ‘Theories on upcoming STRQ-family epic fucked-up drama funtimes’ that a Rosebird Parents Reveal would fit PERFECTLY into:

Everything we Assume about Team STRQ (and why it’s actually EVERYTHING)

Taiyang Xiao Long: The Latest in a LONG Line of Fuckups

Ruby’s and Yang’s Family Reckoning (AKA: Team STRQ is the most dysfunctional hot fucking mess of a family in RWBY)

How I Think Summer Could Be Responsible for the ENTIRE PLOT of RWBY (or, How Summer’s Martyr-complex fucked over EVERYONE)

The Germ of Truth to Qrow Being Ruby’s Dad (those theories are DEFINITELY still WRONG, just in a ‘wrong for the right reasons’ kinda way.)

(Additional material to be added.)

[anthurak]

Not that I think the Crown is actually in there, but what if the REAL Fall Vault is just. underneath Signal Academy. A level of 'trickery' that Oz would find clever, but of course, it's Oz, so, not really all that clever. "I know! Instead of putting it in the basement of a college, we'll put it in the basement of a HIGH SCHOOL. Salem will never guess! Also, Tai, Qrow, would you mind going to teach there. Would you, elite Team STRQ members, like to grade homework and attend parent teacher conferences. Keep an eye on things. Thanks!" To be perfectly frank I would LOVE it if the show decided to visit Signal Academy before the end because of this very reason, or even through flashbacks.

Funny enough, I still think our most likely option for the location of the Crown of Choice is that it’s squirreled away somewhere on the island of Patch XD

But yeah, I have to imagine we’ll be visiting Patch, and with it places like Signal Academy, before the series is over. As I’ve theorized elsewhere, I’m pretty confident that the big final battle against Salem won’t be happening in Vacuo, but in VALE. With our heroines ultimately actually going on the offensive to take Beacon BACK.

And the island of Patch, which I imagine Salem has completely ignored since coming to Vale, would be an ideal staging ground for an assault on Vale for the combined forces our heroines will have assembled by, let’s say Volume 12.

Which incidentally gives another good reason for the Crown to be on Patch: It’s been right under Salem’s nose XD

[chaoticevilspacewitch]

I kinda still have a theory that the Ever After was the Crown of Choice. The decision Ruby made to choose herself was activating it, somehow. The idea kind of breaks down from there, I just don't expect this to be played straight.

[anthurak]

Counterpoint: What if it's the other way around?

Post by @anthurak · 8 images

💬 2  🔁 66  ❤️ 198 · Wait a minute... Destruction... Creation... Knowledge... CHOICE. Holy SHIT guys, the Relics were made to represent

The Relics were made to represent the steps and process of Ascension.

[misipp]

Face the huntress

drawing from last year!!

[anthurak]

Not that I think the Crown is actually in there, but what if the REAL Fall Vault is just. underneath Signal Academy. A level of 'trickery' that Oz would find clever, but of course, it's Oz, so, not really all that clever. "I know! Instead of putting it in the basement of a college, we'll put it in the basement of a HIGH SCHOOL. Salem will never guess! Also, Tai, Qrow, would you mind going to teach there. Would you, elite Team STRQ members, like to grade homework and attend parent teacher conferences. Keep an eye on things. Thanks!" To be perfectly frank I would LOVE it if the show decided to visit Signal Academy before the end because of this very reason, or even through flashbacks.

Funny enough, I still think our most likely option for the location of the Crown of Choice is that it’s squirreled away somewhere on the island of Patch XD

But yeah, I have to imagine we’ll be visiting Patch, and with it places like Signal Academy, before the series is over. As I’ve theorized elsewhere, I’m pretty confident that the big final battle against Salem won’t be happening in Vacuo, but in VALE. With our heroines ultimately actually going on the offensive to take Beacon BACK.

And the island of Patch, which I imagine Salem has completely ignored since coming to Vale, would be an ideal staging ground for an assault on Vale for the combined forces our heroines will have assembled by, let’s say Volume 12.

Which incidentally gives another good reason for the Crown to be on Patch: It’s been right under Salem’s nose XD

[anthurak]

Okay but, a thought just occurred to me: What if Tyrian ends up getting defeated due to overusing his Semblance?

Like, he just gets so focused on trying to kill someone who keeps avoiding his attempts at tearing open their Aura to attack directly, that his own Aura just runs out right as he and his adversary are charging at each other, BEFORE his opponent's attempted attack connects.

To add insult to injury, imagine if Tyrian had had the upper hand throughout the entire fight up UNTIL his Aura runs out at an inopportune time.

Yeah, I can definitely see something like that happening.

Post by @anthurak

💬 3  🔁 22  ❤️ 53 · Theory - Who Gets to Kill Tyrian? (and why I don't think it'll be who people expect...) · So I feel like there is a gener

Particularly, it feels very in keeping with how so many of RWBY’s villains other villains have met their end, as I detailed here. Eg; falling victim to their own ego, obsessions or other baggage and foibles. Tyrian falling victim to his own sadism and obsession giving him debilitating tunnel-vision feels quite appropriate.

Funny enough, I feel like this could even potentially tie into my theorizing that Ruby kills Tyrian in a way that strongly parallels Salem? As in, Ruby constantly uses her semblance to dodge Tyrian’s attacks, with any part of her that he’s about to his simply evaporating into petals. Constantly attacking but not actually hurting until Tyrian has exhausted himself to the point he can’t defend himself.

Again, much like what we’ve heard about Salem letting people wail on her until they exhaust themselves.

[sreegs]

severe thunderstorm watch tonight

[sreegs]

wrong gif

[vannilwi]

[vannilwi]

[chainofclovers]

Put in the tags the completely finished (whether cancelled or wrapped up on its own terms) TV series that has YOUR perfect ending, however you define that

Please don’t include huge spoilers for the specifics of the endings, and it would also make me happy if people don’t use this to talk about the shows whose endings they hated

[bewbin]

you were born in 2006? what are you? a Honda Civic?

[2006-honda-civic]

can i fucking help you?

[kn0wmore]

[utopians]

it's been observed many times before but man it is kind of funny that Americans were so galled about the idea of foreign interference in the presidential election. Fuckkkkkk who would do something like that... Truly shameful behavior what kind of monstrous government would do something like that

[destiny-islanders]

ffvii remake 3: electric boogaloo

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

if you comment some demanding shit like this on fanfic writers’ works, you don’t deserve the privilege of getting to read fanfiction for free

[killergirlfuria]

Fun fact! Demanding updates is also likely to make authors delay them, either out of spite, or because you bring their mood too low to effectively write!

For me it causes both <3

[phuezo]

My Ragapom version 💕💖 + proud father

So in love of your outfits, they look so handsome✨ Redrawing the VAs as their characters 💕

[ticklebait]

“horns as an erogenous zone is like a sword as an erogenous zone” 1. that’s a good thing and 2. the more erogenous zones the better

[ticklebait]

i posted this because i was imagining a demon girl cleaning her horns with a spinny brush in the shower and shooting ropes bc of the vibrations. this is important

[ticklebait]

and the bristles of the brush graze the skin at the base of her horns and it really fucking tickles okay

[ticklebait]

this is getting reblogs again but everyone is reblogging the most palatable version (original post without the additions) and reminding me how weak the “perverts” of this site truly are ….

[deathandnonexistentialdread]

ship seto kaiba and atem in june and call it prideshipping