Anxious Mouse

- When your mind makes you feel small, remember the humble Grasshopper Mouse.-

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Subsequent Meadows

I long for the day  My friends will not have To brace themselves  Before asking how I am

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30 Ideas, 30 Images (2/30)

30 Ideas, 30 Images (2/30)

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30 Ideas, 30 Images (1/30)

30 Ideas, 30 Images (1/30)

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[anxiousmousepoetry]

Now in the non-fantasy section. 

There are people who care. Who are genuinely so happy I am in their life.   There are people who love me. That stubbornly dig trenches, As close as they can to mine, Offering support in invisible wars,  Whether I ask for it or not.   Where once I saw only,  The gradual degradation, Of viewer’s fatigue, Messages of relief and hearts Meet my apologies of silence,    Where duty once…

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[anxiousmousepoetry]

(Untitled)

Did my soft reproach  Burn you? Imagine the damage My indifference could wreak.

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Eat Up.

I’m sorry. Does the flavour of my misery No longer suit you? Tell me. Did you eat your fill? Or did you lose your stomach For broken things? Does this lost cause taste bitter? Perhaps the coffee I served up with my soul Was too dark, complex, Not quite as sweet  As you had come to expect.  Maybe you would prefer something richer?  More balanced? Married with a nice, traditional…

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[anxiousmousepoetry]

Acrostic Climb

For all the things I’ve lost,

Under the weight of impassable moments,

Catastrophes that shook my foundations and

Kept me small.

  You would think I’d be stripped to nothing but feral selfishness.

Outdone, buried and unkind. Empty of indulgent,

Unnecessary, fragile things like love and hope and courage.

  To be honest, I’m surprised myself. 

Rising through the rubble is

An impossibly daunting task,

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Crown

To the man more concerned

With the paper crown that’s slipping,

Than the rope that’s gripping around my neck:

  Perhaps you should have hidden from me

Those sloppy hands, still dripping with greed.

Your proclivity for cruelty with the equity of me.

  You hold no shares in the concrete garden of my truth.

No currency befitting the life I have built,

With all the parts of me you did not value,

Cons…

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[anxiousmousepoetry]

A Pocket Full Of PTSD.

A Pocket Full Of PTSD.

Gasping, choking on air.

As the pit of coal in my gut,

Spits fire and smoke,

Burning low and endless,

    Scorching my insides,

Lining my lungs with sticky tar,

That makes it impossible to breathe.

    Others breathe out words,

That trickle from lips like clear water.

From the churning bellows within,

I let forth the ashen ghosts of my past.

    I’m Screaming with my eyes,

Jaw clenched and lips…

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[anxiousmousepoetry]

Build me up, Buttercnunt. Build me up to tear me down, I'm the reason for your frown, Build me up to have your fun,

[anxiousmousepoetry]

Dog

The leash snaps taught . I do not move.

The collar tightens.

Your obese soul screams more, more!

I’m gasping, wheezing through life.

Fighting with all the strength I have,

Unable to move forwards.

  And you tell me in the kindest voice,

That I am the reason I cannot breathe.

I am less than all the things I have the potential to be.

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Kingdom: Precursor to / Snippet of “Crown” (To follow)

Your fantasy, a company of

Violent masculinity.

Brothers all, on bended knee,

Bloody-knuckdled,

For their king.

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Red Galaxies

The truths inside me could shatter stars.

And the injustice you feel so strongly,

Is a drop in the ocean of my long quelled rage.

If you feel I have hurt you or wronged you,

Know that you suffered through my kindness.

I know well the slaughter of the brash and unthinking.

So enjoy the soft sting of my mercy,

Forged by the incongruous union of past wounds,

And the better self I refuse to lose…

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[anxiousmousepoetry]

I saw something in my face today

I saw something in my face today

Above the mole that looks like hers,

The hair on my chin that I pluck,

Thinking of her.

  The nose that I swear used to be straighter,

Less Roman,

Less like hers.

  I wonder,

If unseen,

She has parts of me too.

  The scars that line,

The inside of my mouth,

Joker-like.

  Did she bite her cheeks,

As often as me?

  Eat and grind and chew on her words,

As hard as me?

  It seems unlikely.

With the…

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[anxiousmousepoetry]

twice is plenty

the next time you need a hand

perhaps you’ll find one if you look down

a fist past zip and cotton

holding your mind

fingers curled save one

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[anxiousmousepoetry]

On Depression: You Motherfucker

On Depression: You Motherfucker

Look at this languid motherfucker.

Lazing boneless in my house,

Demanding preferential treatment,

During my Goddamn. Energy. Drought.

  Get in line, motherfucker!

I’ve got disorders coming out the frickin’ wazoo,

So if you could just fuck alllll the way off,

Down the street and over a cliff too…

  That would be Out. Fecking. Standing.

  I’m tired of your bullshit, you sick motherfucker!

  It’s…

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[anxiousmousepoetry]

4th Time's The Charm? (On 5 and counting)

4th Time’s The Charm? (On 5 and counting)

I drag out and verbalise,

The dark procession,

All the messy,

Broken thoughts,

Feelings,

  Of never being safe,

Of always being tired,

But never able to relax.

  Of retreating into myself,

Because everywhere,

And everything,

Was too much,

Is too much,

  Too much noise,

Too much anger,

  And I think

I’ve done this

Too many times

  Will it ever be enough?

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