captorpalooza

You are not one, but three, sharing a blog, since two of you seem prone to not using it. Family property for the win. [Roleplay blog for humanstuck Sollux from Homestuck, along with his two fathers, Simon and Cameron. All part of the Daftstuck AU. See individual pages for more info.] [Sideblog of twofoldawakening, any follows will appear to come from that account.]

[astriiformes]

my dad just walked in, asked me “what do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?” and left

[furiouskeystrokes]

  HEY FUCK YOU. IT’S GLORIOUSLY PEACEFUL HERE WHEN HOLIDAYZILLA ISN’T HERE I’M NOT GOING TO PASS ON YOUR HATEFILLED MESSAGE AND RUIN IT. BESIDES, HOLIDAY ZILLA IS DOING 80% OF THE WORK FOR THE BOTH OF YOU.

SHIT HERE ISN’T TERRIBLE FOR BEING A TOWER THAT’S TERRIFYINGLY TALL AND PLOPPED ON THE THINNEST MOUNTAIN MAN EVER LAID EYES ON. IT’S A SHEAR DROP DOWN THE SIDE AND I SHIT YOU NOT I HAVE NIGHTMARES ABOUT THAT.

I DON’T KNOW IF YOU REMEMBER BUT YOUR TWIN’S GOT A KID, KINDA. LITTLE TROLL? HE WAS TINY AT THE WEDDING. ANYWAY. I’M TEACHING HIM THE KNITTING THING THE MARYAMS TAUGHT ME, AND HE’S PICKING SIGN UP PRETTY FAST TOO.

SO I’M PRETTY MUCH PROVIDING CHILD CARE ASSISTANCE FOR FREE FOOD, WIFI AND CENTRAL HEATING. NO KARKATCICLES THIS WINTER FUCK YES.

[appleberrymustard]

holiidayziilla. ii2nt he a liittle 2mall and blue-grey two be a ziilla but he ii2 the....enthu2iia2tiic type when he get2 goiing. you have my 2ympathiie2.

wow. yeah ii could 2ee that place beiing pretty terriifyiing. ii'd probably have the 2ame problem wiith iit beiing 2heer, tbh.

diid he have hand2 at the weddiing? ii don't remember. whatever. ii'm glad youre haviing 2o much fun wiith hiim. niice two know what a great parental uniit you make. ju2t iin ca2e.

hey weve iinviited you plenty of tiime2. your frozen a22 wa2 your own fault iif you diidnt want two let one or the other of u2 warm iit up for you.

[furiouskeystrokes]

I’D LIKE TO BEGIN, NOW, A HIP NEW BALLET I LIKE TO CALL ‘THE DANCE OF THE FUK-U CAPTOR’. IT GOES A LITTLE SOMETHING LIKE THIS.

MIDDLE FINGERS IN THE AIR PIROUETTE PIROUETTE PLIET PUNCH TO THE GUT FLIP OFF AGAIN AND EXIT TIPTOEING PURSUED BY EVERY FUCK I THREW AWAY.

DONE.

YOU HAVE NOW BEEN THE FIRST TO WITNESS MY CHOREOGRAPHY. CONGRATUFUCKINGLATIONS I’M GOING TO GO HANG OUT WITH YOUR LESS OBNOXIOUS TWIN AND HIS KID WHILE HIS HOLIDAY-ZEALOT OF A WIFE-HUSBAND CONTINUES HIS APPARENTLY DESPERATE SEARCH FOR ARBOREAL DECORATIONS.

[appleberrymustard]

and the crowd goe2 nut2 2howeriing you iin tomato plant2. tell my twiin two 2tep up hii2 game iif he2 le22 obnoxiiou2 than ii am. that ii2 a trave2ty and 2hould not be allowed two 2tand. the priimo balleriino de2erve2 nothiing but top level a22holery at all time2.

[furiouskeystrokes]

geminidoomed liked your post “GOD HELP ME THE ENTHUSIASTIC SON OF A BITCH ACTUALLY HAS STRING…”

DON’T YOU MOCK ME YOU FLYING FUCK. DON’T YOU MOCK MY PAIN.

[appleberrymustard]

ii dont know what ii wa2 doiing when you po2ted that, but iit wa2 definiitely not hangiing chrii2tma2 liight2, and ii2 now laughiing at your paiin. good call.

[p0kegifs-blog]

[arachnophobicgrin]

Well I guess we should have expected Karkat to stay away.

[appleberrymustard]

yeah. he left me here wiith all you nutjob2. rude.

[arachnophobicgrin]

Talking a8out yourself again, Sollux?

[appleberrymustard]

only becau2e your guy2’ crazy ii2 contagiiou2. iit’2 already rubbed off on me, but KK wa2 far enough away he 2tiill ha2 a 2hot a2 long a2 he doe2nt come back.

[arachnophobicgrin]

Well I guess we should have expected Karkat to stay away.

[appleberrymustard]

yeah. he left me here wiith all you nutjob2. rude.

[mylesbianloveblog]

If she doesn’t scare the hell out of you a little, she’s not the one.

(via atomkind)

[arachnophobicgrin]

Of course not. How much time have we spent together that hasn’t 8een parentally mandated or forced 8y the game?

[appleberrymustard]

hahahahahahaha. HAHAHAHAHAHA. look at that. ii'm a one man party.

[arachnophobicgrin]

Only if we get to 8ug him while we’re there.

[appleberrymustard]

of cour2e. that2 half the fun. you cant beliieve ii'm goiing ju2t two ba2k iin your 2parkliing company, can you?

[arachnophobicgrin]

You wanna take care of conning someone out of candles? In home shrines seem to require them.

[appleberrymustard]

ii'll 2ee what ii can do. 2o where are we puttiing the grave? ii vote out by KK'2 hou2e 2o iit'2 a piilgriimage two vii2iit iit. 

[arachnophobicgrin]

I have a string of monster pull ta8s I was going to link together into dum8 jewelry. Let’s dig a grave, make a headstone, and hold a proper funeral.

[appleberrymustard]

2ound2 liike a plan. we can keep two each two put up a2 a memoriial iin our home2. proper 2hriine2 befiittiing the lo2t.

[arachnophobicgrin]

Things I miss:

Red8ull

Monster

Star8ucks

[appleberrymustard]

holy 2hiit. 2top the pre22e2. we actually agree on 2omethiing. let u2 mourn our lo22e2 together.

[tryoongs]

[appleberrymustard]

echobatebiolospectre liked your post: “appleberrymustard: dad…. dad no. Dad yes.  Dad all the time. Dad...”

NO. he'll 2ee iit. don't encourage hiim.

[appleberrymustard]

dad….

dad no.

[appleberrymustard]

Dad yes.  Dad all the time. Dad always.

[appleberrymustard]

dad....

dad no.