[video-game-jams]

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Style Savvy - Apartment Theme

[lavenderprose]

To be clear. Shane's whole thing about Ilya being a Sex God is because of the limerence. Ilya is nineteen and he can get a rhythm going and that's about it. He was throwing shit at the wall when he hit that 'Get on your knees' in Nashville but only he knows that because Shane's brain turned OFF. Ilya said "Let's do a little experiment here" and the results were "Oh my god oh my god oh my god." Shane came hands free because he was that obsessed with the idea of Ilya Rozanov being inside him. Ilya said "Do you like that do you like that" because he's nineteen and he needs the validation and Shane was like "YES YES YES I LIKE IT OH MY GOD YOU'RE SO DEEP YOU'RE SO GOOD" and objectively. It was okay. Ilya fully did not know where to put his hands a couple of times. He forgot about Shane's dick. Luckily, Shane is God's special angel who can come from the idea of Ilya's cockhead being in proximity to his prostate a few times. Mind over matter, says Shane Hollander's dick. And then Ilya said "Oh God Hollander" because it was also, objectively, one of the hottest things that had ever happened to HIM, Ilya Rozanov. Shane sits on that step afterwards plotting about how he's gonna get this over and over and over again for the rest of his life and he has no idea that there are women in Boston who have Ilya listed in their contacts as "Hockey Guy 6/10". Shane Hollander cannot fathom a world in which Ilya Rozanov doesn't lay the maddest pipe this side of Lake Michigan. "Ilya Rozanov is a some kind of nineteen year old sex God" No Shane honey he was just designed in a lab to score goals and make you cum and he's done scoring goals for the night.

[gaygoatshane]

happy pride

[radiashen]

"yeah i watch top gun for the plot." the icemav elephant in the room:

[rainbow-femme]

They move in together full time and Ilya notices that Anya acts differently with Shane than she does with him, more quiet and less playful, and he worries that means she doesn’t like Shane or is jealous, so he hires a dog trainer to come over and see if there’s anything they need to do to help

After a while of talking about how Anya acts the trainer says there’s nothing to worry about, Anya likes Shane just fine, it’s just that she sees him as the boss and is acting accordingly

And Ilya is like. But. I’m the one who adopted her? And raised her before Shane got here?? And the trainer is just like yeah well she sees you more like an equal. And Ilya is like WAIT she thinks Shane is in charge of both of us?? And the trainer is just like well do you interact in a way that would make her think that?

Ilya’s life flashes before his eyes as he thinks of all the times Shane has come over with a snack for Ilya and a treat for Anya, or all the times Shane has announced they’re all going for an after dinner walk, or pets Ilya’s hair and tells him he did a good job at practice, or the fact that he uses the same warning tone with Anya when she misbehaves as he does with Ilya when he’s causing problems on purpose

Shane comes home to Ilya with his face in his hands going oh god I’m not Anya’s dad I’m her brother and she thinks we’re both your pets. And Shane just goes. What.

[jesse-is-spiralling]

[stjohnstarling]

You used to log onto the internet and find out it was peanut butter jelly time. Not any more.

[itsacruelsummerwithyou2]

okay yeah val kilmer made iceman gay on purpose what the fuck was tom cruise’s excuse

[tahthetrickster]

enamored lately with an asmr channel i stumbled upon on youtube that’s literally just a sweet korean lady pretending to give her enormous ragdoll cat (who she pretends is a famous and wealthy cat actress) extravagant spa treatments that are wildly, wildly overpriced (because the cat is rich)

[tahthetrickster]

it’s fine she’s good for it

[unpretty]

[if-i-am-not-for-me]

This is the true reason ragdolls were bred. This is their purpose. This cat is fulfilling her ancestral destiny.

[dearcruise]

in honour of pride month

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

:D

[cryptile]

Something my dear friend said to me that i think fits

[freakoutgirl]

how to do things that everyone else seems to do no problem

[bardstardish]

when i woke up this morning, my first thought was ‘no one visits my grave anymore’ and i was really sad for a few minutes so i lay on my bed with my eyes shut and then all of a sudden i opened my eyes and was like ‘wait i don’t have a grave what the fuck’

[suave-svav]

are you okay

[bardstardish]

Am I Ever?

[notahorseindisguise]

imagine six thousand people read your journal every single day . thank fuck only like 10 of you max interact with me

[strawberry-seal77]

time loop with two people in it but one person refuses to acknowledge the loop and pretends to be looping with everyone else. meanwhile the other person is freaking out

[ivipl1]

having memory issues while also being mutuals with several people who like to change their url & pfp on the regular is really funny bc its like. ok i dont recognize you but you Smell Familiar so i guess you can come in.

[hollow-head]

"who do you self insert as when you read?"

This is me when I read:

[no-sharks-on-the-sun]

[no-sharks-on-the-sun]

they killed him for this