ayy👽lmao

19, Porto

[wizardjpeg]

oh i am so genius

[wizardjpeg]

instead of purchase one sandwich i can purchase the materials (bread, soap, etc) and make more than one sandwich

[justjames]

pin spelt backwards spells nip stay woke kids

[justjames]

My love for dogs is incomprehensible 

[baby-coma-deactivated20191025]

[vapidsocialite]

Hillæo

HiLLæoo

[fzlee]

[2000ish]

omg

[markv5]

Когда приехал от бабушки

[napoleanbonafarte]

“When you get back from grandma’s house”

[logisia-deactivated20180425]

[sonypraystation]

why is this a screenshot

[asgardreid-deactivated20180407]

The original post will kill if you look at it directly

[wizzardhat]

If i have to die to find out why they can’t be together than so be it

[drunp-archive-deactivated201711]

[tyleroakley]

protect her

[akhunty-deactivated20240130]

I wanna be in love but also yikes

[elitelifekd]

[spudsexuall]

My boyfriend talks in his sleep and because he’s bilingual, he says some hilarious/weird/sometimes creepy shit. I ask him every morning if he remembers saying this stuff and he has no idea about any of it. 

Here are some of my favorites:

-”Babe, can you please turn down the brightness of your skin” -After stealing all of the blankets: “This is my right as a human” -After I take the blankets back: “I don’t want your freedom, America. Just blanket” -Sometimes he just says “Hello?” as if he’s answering a phone call -One night he just said “Cabbage” which is weird because he doesn’t know the english word for that when he’s awake.  -After spooning me: “You have a nice butt” -”Who is that in the corner?” (terrifying) -”Watch out for the red lady” (even more terrifying) -Sometimes he will say things in German and it sounds like he’s speaking Parseltongue -One time I actually think he said something in Parseltongue -One time he talked about buying a ticket to “everywhere” and then just said “hello?” after two minutes of silence -And my all time favorite: ”This is MY yogurt, Satan”

[femaleshits]

[weavemama]

this is hands down the best “the floor is…” meme omfg

[husbandcinnamon]

you can tell he is trying his hardest

[parakavka]

[fancy--tuna]

[rarabro]

siri read a message from my mom (2017)

[harlequinesque]

i think we’ve gotten as close to a real life Howler as we can get

[discogolfmagazine]

this is literally the funniest thing Ive ever seen in my life

[gitsie007]

LOL!!   Sounds just like my mother

[justjames]

How screwed am I on a scale of 10 to 10 clue it is 10

[feldip-hills-deactivated2019022]

the force is like anxiety

[notastupidbird]

explain

[feldip-hills-deactivated2019022]

with me, always