This one-shot is inspired from Chae Yul, Sian, The secret alliance stuff! Please check it out! This is a gift for his birthday!
Trigger Warnings:
Obsession & Stalking
Identity & Self-Hatred
Psychological Horror & Manipulation
Physical Restraint
Mental Breakdown & Trauma
Loss of Agency & Power Imbalance
Dark/Surreal Imagery
You spat.
The rats. The wretched, sacred rats. God’s vermin. Love incarnate. They fester in the walls, whisper in the dark. Their teeth are scripture, their hunger divine. They rot you from the inside out. FIRST YOUR MATTRESS, NOW YOUR BOOTS. You will give and give until there is nothing left. A sacrifice, unwilling but ordained.
They move in silence, except when they don’t. A chorus of claws, a hymn of gnashing teeth. They spread sickness like gospel, like prophecy fulfilled. Holy infection. Gnawing devotion. The plague of faith with pink tails and black eyes.
You will scratch. You will cough. You will kneel.
You’re done. Done with the walls that breathe, the floorboards that scratch back, the whispers in the vents. Done with the stink of decay seeping into your sheets, into your hair, into your skin. The rats can have it. The mattress. The boots. The whole fucking place.
You’re leaving.
Because of Ren. One kind man. Your boyfriend. Seven days, and somehow, you managed to talk it out. To say it. You liked Ren. You really did. Soft hands, soft voice, soft everything. What surprised you was how eager he was—with that. With you. The moment you said you liked him, it was over. He latched on, sticky-sweet, clinging like you might disappear if he let go.
You didn’t mind.
The hallway smelled like dust and something old, something settled. You wanted to say goodbye. Just a quick knock on Violet’s door, a small wave, maybe a half-smile if you were feeling generous. You didn’t even like her that much—she was just there, always outside her apartment smoking cloves, watching the world through heavy-lidded eyes like she already knew how everything would end. But she was nice enough. She was someone who existed in the same space you did, which had to count for something.
You shifted the box in your arms, fingers curling against the cardboard, and turned toward her door.
Then—
“Angel, are you okay?”
Ren.
You startled, nearly dropping the box, because you hadn’t heard him approach. He was just there, suddenly, like he had been waiting for the exact moment you thought of leaving him alone. Wide blue eyes peeking out from under the rim of a froggy hat—soft green, button eyes, covering every inch of his fluffy pink hair. Every inch. Not a single curl in sight.
You giggled. You couldn’t help it.
He tilted his head, smiling at the sound. But something nagged at the back of your mind. He never covered his hair. Ren was all about touch—he liked when you played with it, when you ran your fingers through it, when you tugged just a little and watched his lashes flutter. He liked being seen. But now it was hidden, every strand tucked away beneath thick fabric, like it was never there at all.
Before you could ask, he noticed the box in your arms and made a small noise. “I’ll carry that.”
You shook your head. “It’s okay.”
For a second—just a second—his lips curled, something smug flashing in his eyes before he laughed and ran.
“Who reaches first?!”
And like that, your thoughts scattered. You gasped, gripping the box tighter as he took off down the hallway, his laughter bouncing off the walls.
“Ren—!”
But you were already running after him, giggling as you tried to catch up, feet pounding against the floor. The weight of the box slowed you down, but Ren wasn’t even trying to win, just looking back at you with that too-wide smile, steps just fast enough to keep you chasing. He liked when you chased.
You didn’t realize you had forgotten to knock on Violet’s door. Didn’t realize you hadn’t said goodbye at all.
Didn’t realize that, maybe, Ren had planned it that way.
Outside, the air was cool against your skin, the last traces of evening pressing soft against the horizon. The world was quiet out here, the hum of streetlights blending into the distant chatter of a city that never fully slept. Ren slowed to a stop near the moving truck, turning to face you with a victorious grin, still cradling your box like a prize.
“You lose,” he teased, rocking on his heels. “That means I get a kiss, right?”
You rolled your eyes, breathless from running. “That’s not how that works.”
Ren pouted, but his eyes were still smiling. He tilted his head, the froggy hat slipping just slightly forward. “I carried your box. You should reward me.”
“You stole my box.”
“Carried.”
“Stole.”
He gasped, dramatic, clutching at his chest. “Angel, I would never. You wound me.”
You laughed, reaching for the box, but he shifted it out of your reach with ease, holding it high over his head. You huffed, stepping closer, and he took a step back, grin widening.
“What’s with the hat?” you asked, changing tactics. You squinted at him, stepping in just a little more. Close enough to touch. “You never wear hats.”
His smile didn’t falter, but something in him stilled for just a moment, just a breath. “I wanted to be cute for you.”
“You’re always cute.”
He blinked. Then laughed—soft, warm, delighted, like he hadn’t expected you to say it. The box lowered slightly. “Angel.”
“Ren.”
The space between you buzzed. He tilted his head again, letting you see just the faintest flush dusting his cheeks, exaggerated by the green of the froggy hat.
“…Do you like it?”
You hummed, reaching up to tug at the rim just a little. “I like you.”
His breath hitched. And then he melted, shoulders loosening, eyes softening into something devoted. Obsessed.
“I love you,” he murmured.
Your chest squeezed. “It’s been seven days.”
“So?”
You had no answer. And maybe that was an answer in itself.
You lost.
Ren beat you to the entrance of his building with that same smug grin he always got when he pulled ahead. He didn't gloat, but you could feel it radiating off him, warm and sticky like honey in the sun. And you? You just huffed, breathless, grinning like an idiot as you caught up, half-wondering how he had the energy to sprint and look so unbothered about it.
Then he swiped his electronic key card.
WOAH.
Yeah, okay, you still said it. Loud, too. Like the first time. Like you hadn’t already visited this place, hadn’t already gawked at the sheer absurd richness of it. But come on—he had a whole damned foyer. In an apartment.
Ren laughed as the doors slid open with a soft, expensive-sounding click. “You really like saying that, huh?”
You shot him a look. “Well, sorry, not all of us live in a place where the elevator doesn’t creak like it’s about to collapse.”
“I’d save you if it did.”
His voice was light, teasing, but you didn’t doubt he actually meant it. And you? You just sighed, pretending to roll your eyes as you stepped inside.
Still ridiculous. Still overwhelming. Still unbelievably nice.
It smelled expensive in here, like something clean but not sterile, like whatever subtle scent they pumped through luxury hotels. The lighting was soft, the floors heated. Your shoes felt wrong stepping onto them, like you were dirtying something meant to stay untouched.
But Ren was already ahead of you, dropping your box by the entrance like it was nothing, then reaching into a small cubby near the wall. “Here,” he said, holding something out to you. A pair of house slippers, still neatly wrapped in plastic.
You blinked. “You… bought me shoes?”
Ren hesitated, his usual confidence dimming just a little. His fingers twitched on the plastic wrapping, and then, for once, he actually looked shy.
“You’re staying, so…” He cleared his throat, shoving them into your hands. “It’d be rude to make you walk around barefoot.”
What the hell.
What the hell.
It was still so insane to you. Not the apartment, not the foyer, not the money. Ren. Ren being this nice. Ren being so nice. To you. You had only known him for seven days and he was already like this, already so attentive, already ready for you, like he had been preparing for this from the start. It was a little weird. A little eccentric.
But you? You were an idiot. A dumb, lucky idiot.
So you took the slippers, sat down, and pulled them on. Bless this man.
Ren watched, his eyes flickering with something you couldn’t quite place, then exhaled, like he had just won some kind of internal debate. “Oh,” he said, suddenly fidgeting again. “And, uh. About that.”
You looked up.
Ren rubbed the back of his neck, eyes darting to the side. “I, um. I gave you your own room. For now.”
For now.
You blinked again, slower this time.
“I just—” He hesitated, then smiled, small and careful. “I don’t want to overstep anything. Y’know, since we’re still figuring things out.”
…What the hell.
You stared at him, at this boy who had just beaten you in a race to his stupidly fancy apartment, who had already bought you house slippers, who had set up an entire room for you just so you wouldn’t feel pressured, and you just—
You didn’t know what to say.
So you did the next best thing: you thanked him. Earnestly.
Ren beamed. That stupid, boyish, sticky-sweet smile that made your stomach turn weird.
And then, finally, finally, you asked what had been itching in the back of your mind since he first popped up out of nowhere.
“…Why are you wearing that hat?”
Ren blinked. “Huh?”
You pointed. “The frog hat. It covers your entire head. I can’t see your hair.”
For a second, he didn’t say anything. Then, too quickly, he blurted, “I, uh. I kinda messed it up.”
You tilted your head. “Messed what up?”
“My hair.” He scratched his cheek, looking away. “Ordered the wrong batch of dye…” His voice dropped, muttering something too low for you to hear.
You squinted. “What?”
But Ren was already stepping away, already shifting the conversation like a well-practiced trick. “Anyway!” He clapped his hands. “You should change. The bathroom’s down the hall.”
You frowned, suspicious, but he only smiled.
Too easy. Too slick.
Ren sniffled. Just a little. A soft, barely-there sound, like he was trying not to make a big deal out of it, but you noticed. You always noticed.
“You okay?” you asked, eyeing him as he rubbed at his nose.
“Oh—yeah, yeah.” He waved a hand dismissively, his voice a little stuffy. “Just a little sick. Nothing serious.”
You frowned. “You should rest.”
Ren brightened, suddenly perking up way too much for someone who had just admitted they were sick. “Oh, but before that—” He rocked on his heels, looking almost nervous now. “I, uh. I wanted to tell you something.”
“…Okay?”
His fingers twitched at his sides. Then he cleared his throat, standing up just a little straighter, as if that would help get the words out properly.
“So, um.” He took a breath. “I already paid your rent.”
Silence.
You blinked.
“What.”
“For the whole year!” he added quickly. His hands shot up in some kind of panicked gesture, as if to soften the insanity of what he had just said. “I just—I thought it’d make things easier for you, and—”
“What.”
He stammered. Actually stammered. “It’s—it’s fine! You don’t have to pay me back or anything, I—”
“Ren.”
“I just—I want you to be comfortable! That’s all!” He was so frantic, so eager, so stupidly bright-eyed about it, like an overexcited puppy who didn’t quite realize he had just knocked over the whole table.
You just stared.
He paid your rent. For the entire year.
“What the hell,” you whispered, voice barely steady.
Ren flinched, and the sight of it broke you. He didn’t want you to be upset. He didn’t want you to think of it as a bad thing, didn’t want you to feel like a burden or anything other than happy. You could see it in the way he was fidgeting, his fingers curling and uncurling at his sides, his whole body practically vibrating with nervous energy.
It was too much.
And you? You almost cried.
You weren’t even sure what hit you first. The sheer weight of it, the overwhelming kindness, the way he was so eager to give, to do this for you, to take on something that wasn’t his responsibility just because he wanted to.
Ren made a tiny, startled noise when you stepped forward. He barely had time to react before you crashed into him, arms wrapping tight around his middle, pressing your face into his chest.
For a second, he didn’t move.
Then, suddenly, he almost jumped, body jerking before he practically melted into you, hugging you so tight, so fiercely, like he had been waiting for this.
“You didn’t have to do that,” you mumbled, voice thick. “You didn’t have to—”
“I wanted to.” He buried his face against your shoulder, voice muffled but earnest. “I wanted to, Angel.”
You squeezed your eyes shut, inhaling deep. You didn’t deserve him. You really, really didn’t deserve him. He was too nice. Too nice. It almost hurt how nice he was.
You pulled back just enough to look at him, his face way too close, his arms still tight around you, warm and solid and real.
You kissed his cheek.
Ren froze.
A tiny, sharp inhale. A complete full-body reaction.
You smiled, pressing your forehead against his, barely able to see with how blurred your vision had gotten. “Thank you for coming into my life.”
He looked love-struck.
Actually, physically struck by love.
His lips parted, his pupils huge, his face so red it almost matched his usual hair color—except, well. You still couldn’t see his hair. Stupid froggy hat.
For a moment, you thought he might cry too.
Instead, he suddenly pulled back. Too fast. Too clumsy.
“I—I should—” He turned, stepping away only to trip over absolutely nothing.
“Ren!” You reached out instinctively.
He stumbled but caught himself against the wall, laughing—embarrassed, giddy, too many emotions packed into one person. “I’m okay! I’m okay.”
You frowned. “Be careful.”
He exhaled hard, shaking his head, still smiling like an idiot. Then, finally, he looked back at you, softer now. “Go sleep, Angel.”
You couldn’t quite place it, but something in his tone had shifted, as if there were a thousand unsaid things he was trying to hold back. You smiled, ready to retreat into your room for the night, the events of the day still swirling around in your mind like a fever dream.
Then, as you were about to close the door, he appeared again, holding your clothing box in his hands. He looked… almost nervous. His cheeks were tinged with pink, and there was a slight tremor in his fingers as he handed the box over to you.
“I—I almost forgot,” Ren said, his voice thick, like he was trying to control something. Something deep inside. He didn’t look directly at you at first, his gaze flitting to the floor, to the side—anywhere but your face.
"Thank you, Ren," you said, still feeling a sense of warmth bubble up from the way he had cared for you, for everything he’d done. It felt… unreal, the way he had been so giving, so gentle. But then, Ren shifted again, stepping just a little too close. His breath caught, and you could feel his presence grow around you, suffocating in its quiet intensity.
“Angel…” he whispered, his voice breaking slightly, almost like he was afraid to even say your name. He moved your hair away from your neck, fingers brushing lightly against your skin, sending an electric shock through you. You froze, caught off guard by the sudden softness in his touch, but there was something more there, something heavier, something dark.
“I—” He hesitated, and you felt a weird knot form in your stomach. He wasn’t looking at you now, his eyes downcast, almost embarrassed. His hands were trembling, the clothing box in his arms like it weighed nothing compared to what was running through his mind. “Angel, I—I just need to ask you something.”
You blinked, your own heart racing now. “What is it?”
Ren swallowed, his voice barely a whisper. “Do you… do you love me?” His voice cracked as he spoke, the words torn between desperation and something else—something you couldn’t quite identify. He looked at you finally, eyes wide with need, with raw, unfiltered emotion. “Do you love me like this?”
You stared at him, confusion furrowing your brow. “Like this?”
He was visibly shaking now, his fingers tightening around the box. His face was flushed with embarrassment, but his eyes were clouded with a deep longing. He couldn’t look away, couldn’t pull himself back. "Like this. Just... me. The way I am. All of me.” He winced, as if the words were hard to get out, as if he had to rip them from his own chest. “I—I just want to know. If I’m perfect for you… in your eyes.”
There was a moment where time seemed to stretch, where everything felt suspended in the air between you two. You couldn’t help but feel a swell of something warm and protective, something that ached deep in your chest at how much Ren wanted this—wanted you to say it, wanted to hear you tell him that he was good enough.
You opened your mouth, but words failed for a moment. The emotional weight in the room was too much, too overwhelming for you to properly process all at once.
And then, with a deep breath, you spoke. “I love you, Ren.”
His eyes widened, and then his face—his beautiful face—was overcome with something so fragile and pure, it made you feel weak in the knees. His cheeks flushed deeper, and he suddenly pulled you into a tight, almost frantic hug. You could feel his heart beating hard against yours, his breath coming in uneven, desperate gasps.
“I love you, Angel,” he repeated into your hair, voice barely intelligible as he hugged you tighter, like he was trying to hold you in place, like he was afraid if he let go, you might slip away. He was crying, though you could barely tell through the small, stifled sobs. “I love you so much. I—I didn’t think you’d—” He cut himself off, his emotions overwhelming him, making him speechless.
You felt your own eyes well up, the overwhelming sense of affection filling you up until it hurt. “Ren, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”
But you could feel his shaking, his entire body trembling with emotion. His hands clutched at you desperately, and he whispered, almost like a prayer, “Please, don’t leave me. Please… I can’t be without you. You’re everything. You’re everything.”
The desperation in his voice made your heart ache for him.
Ren pulled back slightly, his hands still on your shoulders, his eyes locked onto yours, that same intensity still burning. He smiled softly, though there was a hint of something frantic, like he was still trying to hold it all together. “I’m glad,” he whispered, voice trembling. “I’m glad you love me.”
He suddenly straightened, his posture almost rigid as he turned away, almost like he had just caught himself in something, a bit of control returning to his shoulders. “I’ll get the rest of your stuff,” he said quickly, trying to brush it off.
But you stopped him. “It’s fine, Ren. I’ve got it.”
“No, no. I—I want to,” he insisted, eyes shining with that same intensity. He gripped your hand in his, the small moment of affection making your stomach flip. “I’ll get it, Angel. Wait here.”
You nodded, but as he hurried down the hall, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was… off.
You entered your room, setting the clothing box on the bed. As you closed the door, you felt the faintest sense of unease gnaw at you, though it wasn’t something you could easily name.
Ren stood still in front of the mirror, his hand trembling as it pressed against his face, hiding the soft, self-loathing smile that spread across his lips. He was so close—so close to everything he wanted. To you. To having you. And now you were here. With him. You chose him.
You chose him.
In the quiet of the moment, his fingers traced the outline of his face, almost lovingly, as if to reassure himself that the person staring back at him in the mirror was truly who he had become.
The other REDACTED—the one who had never been enough—the one who was so weak, so pathetic—he was gone. Gone like the skin of an old, discarded self that no longer mattered. That person didn't deserve you. That failure didn’t deserve a single thought from you.
The new Ren, though? The one standing before you, the one you called by name, the one who held your heart in his palm with trembling fingers? That Ren was the one you loved.
He closed his eyes for a second, letting the thought wrap around him like a warm blanket, soothing the gnawing, twisted feeling in his chest. No more pretending. No more hiding. He had transformed for you—because you needed him. You needed him to be strong. To be worthy of you. So, he became Ren.
A tiny laugh escaped his lips, soft but dangerous, like a secret only he would ever know. He could feel it. The ache in his chest, the way his heart swelled when he thought of you. The way he almost lost control at the thought of you being with anyone else. But that was all gone now.
He had you.
And you—oh, you would never leave him. Not now. Not after everything he had done. Everything he had become.
His fingers curled tighter around his face, pressing the heels of his palms against his eyes, as if trying to suppress the wave of emotion threatening to drown him. He was weak again, but this time, it wasn’t from lack of effort. No. This time, it was because he had finally given in—given in to the need to own you, to make sure that no one could touch you. No one could have you but him.
But then his thoughts twisted again.
He hated himself.
He hated REDACTED.
The one who had never been good enough for anyone, especially you. The one who never understood why anyone would care about him, the one who couldn’t even keep his hair the right color. That REDACTED was worthless. A failure. And in the pit of his stomach, he still felt that gnawing self-hatred, the reminder of who he used to be.
He didn't deserve you.
He clutched the fabric of his clothes—his carefully chosen attire—and thought about the effort it took to craft this persona, this perfect version of himself. You wouldn’t love him if he was weak. You wouldn’t look at him the way you did now if you saw the truth beneath the mask. So he gave you Ren. This Ren. The strong, kind, loving Ren that you needed.
And somehow, it was enough for you. Enough that you would choose him.
The old REDACTED—the ugly, broken REDACTED—had no place in your life. That REDACTED would have only destroyed everything. But now, this new Ren—the one you needed, the one you loved—he would make sure you never left. He would make sure you belonged to him.
He lowered his hands, his reflection staring back at him, the soft pink hair still hidden beneath the frog hat, his body still just as delicate as ever. But beneath that surface was the raw, trembling devotion that would never let you slip away.
“You’re mine, Angel,” he whispered to the reflection, as if trying to remind himself of his purpose, his new self. “You are mine.”
And then the realization hit him: this was it. This was the moment.
There was no going back.
Ren gripped the edges of the counter, the dark, obsessive smile stretching across his face once more. He had crossed the line, and there was no one left to stop him. He had you now. And nothing would take you from him.
You leaned back against the cool, smooth surface of the couch, eyes staring into the nothingness of the wall in front of you as you spoke into the phone. Your voice was a quiet mix of frustration and fear, too many things you weren’t sure how to articulate.
“Yeah, Elenor... I’m still staying with Ren,” you sighed, your words coming out almost too tired. “I mean, I like him. I’ve always liked him... It’s just... it’s like he’s... always been there. So kind, so nice to me.” Your throat tightened slightly at the thought. “He does everything for me. I don’t know how he does it, but it’s like he’s... trying to make up for something.”
The weight of the last few days sat heavy on your shoulders. Ren’s soft smile, his gentleness, the way he watched you like he was afraid you’d disappear if he blinked. It all made your stomach twist in both comfort and confusion. And it wasn’t just that. There was something else, something that made you feel like you were on the edge of a truth you couldn't reach—yet couldn't avoid.
"But..." you continued, almost whispering, your words faltering. "I think I’ve taken too much of him. He’s always doing things for me, always... offering his space, his time. It’s like, I don’t even know how to repay him, you know? And I don't even know if I should be taking all of it. It feels wrong sometimes."
The thought of too much—of overstaying your welcome in his space, in his life—felt suffocating. You had been around him for a week now, and it was intense. More than you could have imagined.
Elenor’s voice came through the phone, a soft but persistent murmur of concern. "Y/N, you're not a burden. If you feel comfortable, then stay. But... what's really bothering you?"
Your heart skipped, and you exhaled sharply. You leaned forward, resting your elbows on your knees, a wave of worry crashing over you as you thought of that other thing—the stalker. The person who had been creeping around, sending odd messages, showing up in places they shouldn’t be. It had been escalating, and it terrified you more than you wanted to admit.
“It’s just... Ren,” you said, barely believing it yourself as the words left your lips. “I mean, he told me he would keep me safe from them. That one word... ‘safe’... He makes me feel like I trust him more than anyone else. And I... I do. I trust him. I trust him more than I should.”
Your voice dropped off at the end, an unsettling feeling in the pit of your stomach. That wasn’t what bothered you. What bothered you was the thought that maybe you shouldn’t trust him as much as you did. You had no real reason not to... but still, something gnawed at you. It felt like there was something more—something you weren’t seeing.
You stood, pacing slightly as the phone sat in your hand. “But… Elenor, it’s like... why do I feel like I’ve known him longer? Like I’ve been through this with him before? Maybe I’m just being dramatic, or it’s just a dream. But I can't shake the feeling... that I know him—no, that he knows me in a way no one else does. It’s... it’s so hard to explain.” You stopped in your tracks, staring out the window with your breath caught in your throat.
You knew it didn’t make sense. You trusted Ren. You really did. He was so kind, so patient, but something about the situation felt off. You could feel it crawling beneath your skin, just waiting for you to acknowledge it.
"God, Elenor," you muttered, "Why am I even thinking this way? He’s just trying to protect me... and I’m sitting here, suspecting him? What is wrong with me?"
The guilt twisted in your chest.
You hung up the phone, feeling the weight of everything press down on you. The stalker. Ren’s kindness. Your growing trust in him. It was all tangled up in your mind, making it hard to think clearly. You wanted to feel safe. You wanted to believe in him completely. But there was that other feeling. That whisper in the back of your head, telling you there was something you hadn’t seen yet.
And as much as you tried to push it away, it was growing louder.
But you couldn't… You couldn’t doubt him. Not now. Not when he’d done everything to keep you safe, to make you feel welcome.
But still…
Why did it feel like you were standing on the edge of something you couldn’t control?
You decided to sleep..
The world around you felt heavy, like swimming through something thick and suffocating. You weren’t sure when you had fallen asleep, but here you were—somewhere that felt both distant and too close at the same time.
You heard it first.
A voice. Soft. Gentle. A whisper floating through the void like a lullaby.
"Angel…"
Your heart squeezed. That name.
"Angel… where are you?"
You turned, eyes darting through the darkness, searching. Footsteps echoed, and you realized—you were running.
But why?
With every step, something felt off. Your body—smaller. Your legs shorter. The oversized sleeves of your favorite purple hoodie brushed against your hands, just like it used to when you were little. And then, through the haze of memories that weren’t quite memories, you saw him.
A boy.
His hair was black, not Ren’s familiar soft pink, and his blue eyes shimmered under the dim, dreamlike light. He stood there, small and hesitant, clutching something in his hands. He looked familiar—too familiar—but the name in your head didn’t quite fit.
Wasn’t this… REDACTED?
No.
No, it wasn’t.
Your breath hitched as you moved closer, feeling a weight settle deep in your chest.
“Angel…” The boy—who wasn’t Ren—spoke shyly, his voice so small, so fragile. “I-I… I have something for you.”
He lifted his hands.
A ring.
Tiny, gold, glinting even in the strange darkness. Not fancy, not expensive—just a simple little band. But he held it like it was the most important thing in the world.
"For tuu…" he mumbled, his voice laced with nervous excitement.
Something in your heart twisted. This moment. You knew this moment.
You reached out, almost touching his hands, when—
"Hey, what are you doing?"
A new voice.
Your head snapped to the side, and suddenly you weren’t alone with him anymore.
Another child. Taller. Leon.
His face was shadowed, unreadable, but you could feel his presence, his overprotectiveness. Even in the dream, even as a child, he stood between you and the boy like a wall.
He didn’t like this.
You knew before it even happened.
And then—he shoved him.
The tiny ring slipped from the boy’s hands, hitting the ground with a soft clink. His dark eyes widened in panic as he scrambled to grab it, but before he could—
Leon kicked it away.
“Stop bothering them,” Leon’s voice was sharp, almost possessive. “They don’t need weirdos like you.”
The boy froze.
Your chest tightened painfully, something screaming inside of you that this was wrong, wrong, wrong.
The boy stared at the lost ring, at Leon, then at you.
His hands curled into fists at his sides.
He didn’t yell. He didn’t fight.
Instead, he bent down, picked up the ring with trembling hands, and held it against his chest.
Then, so softly you almost didn’t hear—
“…Okay.”
A whisper.
“…I’ll try again.”
His small voice cracked.
His shoulders shook.
And then—he was crying.
It shattered something deep inside of you.
You saw your childhood self hesitate, stepping toward him, but Leon pulled you back.
“Let’s go,” Leon muttered. “You don’t need to waste time on him.”
Your small hands twitched at your sides.
Your child self looked back.
One last time.
At the boy holding the ring like it was all he had.
At the pain in his eyes.
At his tears.
And then—darkness.
Everything twisted.
Reality snapped and distorted like a glitching screen, and suddenly, it wasn’t just the past anymore.
Suddenly—
You were falling.
Falling straight into those dark, familiar eyes.
A deep, obsessive gaze.
And then—
Hands grabbed you.
Clutching. Pulling.
"Angel."
His voice.
"Stay with me."
You couldn't breathe.
"Angel."
You saw his face.
The boy was older now. No longer a child.
No longer soft.
His black hair, his dark, blue eyes.
"You promised."
Promised what?!
You tried to pull away, tried to run—
"Don’t leave me again."
And then—
A SMILE.
Wide. Twisted.
Obsessed.
The dark eyes swallowed you whole.
And then—
You screamed.
You woke up.
Gasping. Drenched in sweat.
Your heart pounded against your ribs like it was trying to escape.
The room was dark, too quiet, too unfamiliar.
Ren’s apartment.
You were safe.
Right?
Your hands clutched the sheets, your breath shaking. The dream—the memory?—was already slipping away, but that feeling, that fear, still clung to your skin.
That boy.
That name.
Why couldn’t you remember his name?
But you knew—you knew.
This wasn’t just a dream.
It was something more.
Something you had forgotten.
Something you had lost.
And yet…
You turned, staring at the bedroom door.
Your breath was still uneven, the remnants of that dream gripping at your chest like unseen hands. You needed air. You needed… Ren.
Slipping out of bed, your feet hit the cool floor, grounding you back into reality. This was Ren’s apartment. It was safe. You were safe.
Right?
You cracked open the door, peering into the dimly lit hallway. The apartment was silent, but something in the air felt off. Heavy. Like it was watching you.
Ren’s room.
That’s where you needed to go.
Step by step, you moved, the floor quiet beneath you. His door was just slightly ajar, enough that the soft glow of a nightlight seeped out. But when you pushed it open—
Empty.
Ren wasn’t here.
The neatly made bed, the folded blankets, the plush frog sitting perfectly centered on the pillows—everything was untouched. It looked like he hadn’t even been here tonight.
Your stomach twisted.
Where was he?
And then—
You heard it.
A noise. Faint, muffled, but unmistakable.
A voice.
Ren’s voice.
But he wasn’t speaking.
He was panting.
Short, shaky breaths, almost strained. Like he was struggling. Like he was—
Your body tensed as you followed the sound down the hall.
To the one place he told you not to go.
The room at the very end.
You swallowed hard.
He had said it was just old stuff.
Things he didn’t want to look at.
Things that didn’t matter anymore.
And yet…
You stood in front of the door.
The sounds were clearer now, the sharp rise and fall of his breath, like he was working himself into something feverish. It was almost desperate.
Your hand hovered over the handle, but—
A password lock.
The glowing numbers blinked at you, blocking you from whatever lay beyond.
You shouldn’t be here.
You shouldn’t even be thinking about this.
Forget it.
Just go back to bed.
Trust Ren.
Trust him.
But…
Your fingers twitched.
Curiosity curled around your ribs like an eager whisper.
Why was he in there?
Why not in his own bed?
Why lock the door?
And why… why did the way he sounded make something in your gut churn with uncertainty?
You didn’t understand.
Your hands were clammy, your heart pounding so hard you swore it would wake Ren—wherever he was.
The keypad blinked at you, waiting.
You hesitated, fingers hovering over the numbers. You tried something random—some goddess’s name, something mystical, something obscure. Nothing.
You exhaled, gripping your wrist, willing yourself to be rational.
You shouldn’t be doing this.
But the dream still lingered like static in your skull, the boy’s eyes, the lost ring, the way Ren had always felt so… familiar.
You licked your lips, staring at the keypad, and then—
You typed in your birthday.
Just as a joke. Just to see.
You didn’t even know why.
It wasn’t like you’d ever told him.
Right?
And then—
Click.
The lock flashed green.
The door unlocked.
Your blood went cold.
No.
That wasn’t—
That wasn’t possible.
Your breath hitched, and for a moment, you just stood there. Frozen.
Because this was wrong.
This was so wrong.
You never told him.
You would have remembered telling him, right?
The thought sent a sick shiver down your spine.
How did Ren know your birthday?
You stepped back, every part of you screaming to turn around, go back to bed, pretend you never did this.
And yet—
The door, now slightly ajar, called to you like a mouth just barely parted.
A dark, waiting secret.
And from inside—
The sound of Ren’s breath, sharp, shaking, desperate.
You had a choice.
Walk away.
Or step inside.
Your breath was shallow as you stepped inside the dimly lit room, your fingers trembling as they pushed open the door just enough to let you slip in. The air was thick, oppressive, and something about it felt suffocating. Like you weren’t supposed to be here. Like the walls themselves were whispering turn back.
But you didn’t.
Instead, you took another step forward, your foot making the faintest creak against the floorboards. And then you saw them.
The pictures.
Lining the left-hand side of the room, pinned with precision, hundreds of them.
At first, they looked like ordinary photos—old, slightly yellowed at the edges. But the more you looked, the more your stomach twisted.
They were all of you.
You recognized some—pictures taken from your social media, old selfies, candid shots where you were mid-laugh or deep in thought. But others—
Your fingers clenched. Your breath hitched.
These were different.
A shot of you as a child, no older than five, in a park with a bright purple hoodie. A blurry image of you in middle school, sitting at your desk, eyes down, utterly unaware of the camera. You didn’t remember anyone taking these.
And worse—
They weren’t just old.
Some of them were before you even met Ren.
Your blood ran cold.
Your hand twitched at your side, fingers flexing, as if trying to ground yourself in reality. Maybe you were wrong. Maybe—maybe these weren’t what they seemed.
Maybe it was just a coincidence—
You turned, needing something—anything—to contradict the horror sinking into your bones.
But then you saw the right-hand side.
More pictures. More of you.
And these weren’t just old. They were recent.
You sleeping in your bed.
You sitting at a café, headphones in, oblivious to the camera.
You inside your own house, looking out the window, unaware you were being watched.
Your stomach churned. Your heart pounded, cold sweat forming at the back of your neck.
How?
You took a step back, swallowing thickly.
And then—
A sound.
Slow, ragged breathing.
It was coming from the farthest corner of the room.
Your head snapped toward the sound, your whole body frozen in place. And there, sitting hunched on the floor, shrouded in shadow—
A boy.
His back was facing you, his shoulders trembling slightly with every breath he took. His black hair fell in messy strands over his face, over his hands, over the bent curve of his form. It was long—longer than Ren’s. But the more you stared, the more a realization crept up your spine, slow and paralyzing.
The same eyes.
The same voice—when he had panted behind this door.
You felt your lips part before you even realized you were speaking.
“…[REDACTED]?”
The moment the name left your mouth, the boy flinched.
A violent, shuddering jolt, like you had struck him with a knife.
Slowly—so, so slowly—he turned his head.
And then—
You saw his face.
It was Ren. But it wasn’t.
The same eyes. The same face. But his pink hair—gone. In its place was jet black, stark against his pale skin, and his expression—
It wasn’t soft. It wasn’t gentle. It wasn’t Ren.
It was raw. Wild. Desperate.
“Angel…” he whispered, voice hoarse, thick with something you couldn’t name. His wide, glistening eyes locked onto yours, his breath coming in uneven gasps. His lips parted, but no more words came out—only small, broken sounds, like something inside him was fracturing, shattering before your very eyes.
Your heart slammed against your ribs.
It was him.
The boy from your dream.
The boy who called you Angel.
The boy who once held out a ring for you, years ago, only to be crushed by another’s cruelty.
The boy who never stopped chasing you.
“N-No… no no no no…” he whimpered, shaking his head violently, hands grasping at his hair as if trying to pull himself apart. “Not yet. Not yet, Angel, it wasn’t—It was supposed to be perfect.”
You took a step back, your entire body trembling. Ren never stuttered. Never lost control. But this—this was not the Ren you knew.
And then, like a dam bursting, he sobbed.
He sobbed.
Not soft, not quiet—loud, broken, shaking cries. His hands clawed at his face, his breath ragged and uneven. His shoulders shook as he gasped for air, like he was trying to breathe you in.
“It was going so well…” he choked out, curling into himself. “You stayed, you were happy, you—you loved me. You loved me, Angel. It was supposed to be okay, it was supposed to be—”
His voice cracked. His hands gripped his arms, nails digging deep, too deep.
“You weren’t supposed to see this.”
A shiver ran through your spine, your feet frozen in place.
You tried to understand. Tried to process.
Ren—no, not Ren.
[REDACTED] had always been there.
Watching.
Waiting.
The sweet, gentle Ren you knew—the one who kissed your forehead, who held your hand, who laughed with you—that was him, too.
But it wasn’t.
Because this was Ren.
A boy who had shed his old self like dead skin.
A boy who had erased every trace of the past that Angel—his Angel—might not have loved.
And now, you had seen it.
Now, you knew.
His wide, tear-streaked eyes found yours again, and in that moment, the madness swirling inside them was as clear as a mirror.
He smiled.
Soft. Devoted.
His lips curled, his entire body trembling with emotion, and then—
He crawled toward you.
“Angel…” he whispered, voice quivering, thick with tears. His fingers reached for your ankle, barely brushing against the fabric of your pants. “Please… don’t run.”
You stumbled backward, your breath hitching as your vision blurred at the edges. Panic clawed at your throat. No, no, no. This wasn’t happening. Your body screamed at you to run, but your legs barely moved—jelly beneath you, wobbling as you reached for the door.
Your fingers fumbled with the handle. You wrenched it open. A burst of cold air, freedom, just a step away—
A force yanked you back, slamming the door shut with a resounding thud. You gasped, air cut short as an arm wrapped tight around your middle, pulling you flush against a trembling chest. His breath was hot, uneven, panting against the shell of your ear. The scent of him—familiar yet foreign—invaded your senses. His grip was suffocating, his presence engulfing, an inescapable cage.
Your phone clattered to the ground. No chance of calling for help.
His hand pressed over your mouth as you tried to scream. His whole body shook against you, but whether it was from anger or desperation, you didn’t know. You struggled, nails digging into his skin, but it only made him hold tighter.
"Don’t," he whispered, his voice cracked, raw with something unreadable. His forehead pressed against your shoulder, his entire body tensed like a string about to snap. "Angel, don’t—don’t run from me."
You thrashed. You elbowed his ribs, stomped on his foot, anything to break free. His grip loosened just enough for you to twist away, for you to stumble toward the window, toward anything, anywhere but here. But he was faster.
A tangle of limbs, the sensation of falling. The impact knocked the air from your lungs as you hit the floor, a sharp pain shooting up your spine.
And then—
His weight pressed down on you, his knees caging you in.
His hands trembled as they found your wrists, pinning them above your head.
He was shaking. His breath hitched like he was trying not to sob.
You squeezed your eyes shut. You refused to look at him. You didn’t want to see whatever expression he was wearing—
"Look at me," he whispered, voice barely holding together.
You refused.
"Please." His voice cracked.
Slowly, hesitantly, your eyes opened.
His face was streaked with tears. His lips trembled, his expression raw, vulnerable, broken. And there, around his neck, a chain hung, glinting under the dim light.
A ring.
A ring you had seen before.
Your stomach twisted.
His hand curled around yours, and your breath hitched when you felt something cold against your finger.
Another ring.
It looked like a wedding band.
Your pulse roared in your ears, drowning out everything else.
His fingers, scarred, burned, holding onto yours so tightly it hurt. His tattooed neck, the ink forming a heart, your name embedded in his skin like a permanent scar.
His lips trembled as he whispered, "You were always mine. From the start."
You felt your world tilt, reality fracturing at the edges.
And then, finally—
You screamed.
Around his neck, dangling from a delicate chain, was the same ring from your dream. The ring that little boy—no, REDACTED—had once offered you, the ring he had picked up from the dirt after Leon had tossed it away.
"I kept it," he choked out. "I kept everything. I waited. I changed. I—I became someone you could love. Because the old me—he wasn’t enough, was he?"
His fingers curled around yours, forcing them to touch the wedding band on his hand.
"But this time… I made sure. I made sure you’d stay."
You gasped, your breath catching in your throat, but he wasn’t done. His entire body trembled, a shuddering breath escaping him before his hands dropped to his sides, clenching into fists. His eyes darkened, an unhinged, broken sort of despair creeping into them as his lips parted. His entire frame shook.
"LOOK AT ME!" he suddenly screamed, his voice breaking apart, desperate, raw, aching.
You flinched, but he wasn’t stopping. His breath hitched, and then, like a dam bursting, he sobbed—loud, uncontrollable, a pitiful noise that clawed through the space between you.
"I ruined it! I—I ruined everything!" He collapsed against you, his forehead pressing against your shoulder as his body wracked with silent cries. "No, no, no… It was perfect, it was all going to be perfect, I just needed more time! More time to fix it, more time to be him! But you—You had to come here! You had to—!"
His hands gripped your arms like a vice, as if he were terrified you’d disappear the moment he let go.
"I didn’t want you to see me like this," he whispered, his voice raw, his words frantic. "I—I was supposed to be like Haruko. I was supposed to be good for you. Someone you could love. But I can’t—I can’t be him all the time! I can’t—"
He hiccupped between words, his fingers curling tighter. "I tried, Angel. I tried so hard. But it wasn’t enough, was it? You still found out. You still see me as that… thing."
His nails dug deeper into your skin, and you winced.
"But I had to do it," he continued, his voice turning frantic, desperate. "Because you—" He swallowed hard, his breath shaky. "You never loved me before. You never even looked at me."
A trembling hand reached up, tracing the line of your jaw, down to your collarbone, resting against your hammering pulse.
"But you love Ren, don't you?" His grip tightened. "You love the one I made for you."
Your mind was screaming. Your body was screaming. And yet, your voice refused to come out.
"Say it," he pleaded. "Say you love me. Say you won’t leave. Please, Angel—just say it."
Tears streamed down his face, raw emotion cracking through every fiber of his being. His chest heaved with every shaky breath, his heart pounding so loudly that you swore it echoed against your ribs.
"I need you," he whimpered. "I need you more than you could ever know."
kept it," he choked out. "I kept everything. I waited. I changed. I—I became someone you could love. Because the old me—he wasn’t enough, was he?"
His fingers curled around yours, forcing them to touch the wedding band on his hand.
"But this time… I made sure. I made sure you’d stay."
His voice cracked, the carefully constructed facade of Ren trembling at the edges. His breathing hitched as his grip on you tightened, not with force, but with a desperation so palpable it left you breathless.
"Angel, do you know what it’s like? To be invisible to the one person who mattered? To watch from the shadows, to shape yourself into something they might finally see?" His voice rose, frantic. "You see me now, don’t you? You’re looking at me now. You know who I am. Not just Ren, not just some stranger you met in a library—ME. The real me. The one who has always, always loved you."
His expression twisted, the manic gleam in his eyes sharp enough to slice through you. His breath came in uneven gasps, hands shaking as he clutched onto you like a lifeline.
"It was supposed to be perfect!" he shouted suddenly, the sheer anguish in his voice sending chills down your spine. "I did everything right! I became someone you could love! Haruko, Ren, whatever you wanted—I gave it to you! So why… why do you l look so scared?"
Tears welled in his eyes, though whether they were of frustration or heartbreak, you couldn’t tell. His whole body trembled, his forehead pressing against yours.
"Angel," he whispered, voice a broken plea. "Tell me it wasn’t all for nothing. Tell me you love me. Like this. As I am."
His fingers curled around the ring on his necklace, the metal cold against your skin. And in that moment, you realized—you weren’t looking at Ren anymore. The mask had finally, irrevocably cracked.
You were looking at REDACTED.
Ren's breathing was ragged, uneven. His fingers trembled as they curled into fists, then released, then clenched again. His shoulders shook, his entire body wracked with something dark and ugly that he couldn't contain any longer.
"Look at me!" he sobbed, voice breaking apart like glass shattering on concrete. "Please… just look at me, Angel. I'm sorry… I'm sorry I ruined it… I'm sorry I'm like this!"
His face was twisted in anguish, an expression so raw it cut deeper than any knife ever could. His tears fell onto your skin, hot and desperate, as he gripped onto you like you were the only thing keeping him tethered to the earth.
But you couldn't move.
Something cold and thick was creeping up your legs, winding around your ankles like tendrils of ink. It climbed, higher and higher, latching onto your waist, then your arms. Panic overtook you as you gasped, thrashing wildly, but the more you struggled, the faster it spread.
"S-Stop! Stop it!" you shrieked, clawing at the darkness consuming you. "This can't be happening!"
Ren's arms tightened around you, but it wasn't a comforting embrace. It was desperate. It was suffocating. His breath hitched as he felt you shuddering in his hold, your sobs turning into choked screams.
His praise became a fevered mantra, his lips moving against your temple as he whispered worship, obsession, madness.
The ink coiled around your throat. Fingers. Hands. Clutching, grasping, squeezing. It seeped into your mouth, into your lungs, and you gagged as the taste of rust and rot filled you from the inside out.
Your screams were muffled.
Memories—they came flooding back, crashing over you like a tidal wave.
A boy, small and quiet, his black hair hanging over his wide, fearful eyes.
A ring, tiny and glinting, held out to you with shaking fingers.
"Angel, it's for you…"
A rough shove, a cry of protest. Leon's voice, sharp and cruel.
"Get lost, freak!"
The ring, tumbling through the air, swallowed by the grass, lost.
And the boy—
[REDACTED].
He had picked it up.
He had picked himself up.
He had tried again.
But not as himself.
Ren collapsed inward, a hollow shell of the person he had tried to become. His hands trembled, gripping at his own arms as if trying to claw himself out of his own skin. "I didn't deserve you," he whispered, the words cracked and broken. "I never did. I never could. I'm filth. I'm nothing compared to you, Angel. You're— you're light. And I— I was never meant to touch you."
But he had touched you. His entire being had wrapped around yours like a parasitic vine, feeding off the glow that you barely recognized in yourself. And now, it was suffocating you. The air grew thick, tangible as black ink seeped into your skin, curling up your arms like coiling veins of tar. Your body twisted, recoiling, but it didn't stop. It climbed higher, reaching your chest, your throat, your mouth—
You couldn't breathe.
Hands. It felt like hands. Hands grabbing your limbs, your face, your throat, prying your lips apart. The ink curled inside you like a living entity, pulling, pulling, pulling. Your screams gurgled in your throat, strangled by the suffocating black.
"STOP!!! NOOO!!!" You writhed, thrashing against it, but there was nowhere to go. Nowhere to run. The hands held firm, yanking you down, burying you in a nightmare made flesh. You sobbed, fists slamming against Ren’s chest, clawing at him in sheer desperation.
Ren held onto you, his grip firm, but it wasn't controlling. It wasn't possessive. It was desperate. "Angel—" he choked, voice cracking as his forehead pressed to yours, his tears mixing with your own. "Please, don’t— I didn't want this, I never wanted this—"
But you didn’t hear him. You couldn't. Because suddenly, it wasn’t just his voice— it was another. A voice from a long, long time ago, buried deep beneath years of missing memories. A boy’s voice, timid and small.
"Angel, this is for you."
A ring, held out in tiny, shaking hands.
The child’s black hair was unevenly cut, his eyes the same dark abyss you now feared. Your younger self reached out, almost hesitantly—
Until Leon’s hands appeared, shoving him back. The ring tumbled to the ground, lost in the dirt.
"Get lost, Don't bother them."
You gasped, your whole body convulsing as reality lurched back into place.
Ren— [REDACTED]— clung to you, his whole body trembling as if he were barely holding himself together. You stared at him, your vision blurred with tears, your breath coming in ragged, choking gasps.
"WHY DID LEON THROW THAT RING AWAY?!" The words ripped out of you, raw and furious and agonized. "WHY DID YOU BECOME LIKE THIS?! WHY?!"
His eyes widened, lips parting, but no words came out. Only a silent, broken sob.
Memories slammed into you like a wrecking ball, each one hitting harder than the last. The boy from your dreams— he wasn’t just some shadowy figure from the past. He was real. He had always been real.
And he had always been right there, waiting. Watching. Loving you in the only way he knew how—
Even if it ruined him.
Even if it ruined you.
You screamed again, but this time, it wasn’t just fear. It was grief. It was rage. It was heartbreak, the overwhelming weight of it all crushing down on you like an avalanche. Your body convulsed, your nails digging into the floor, into your own arms, as if trying to rip your own skin open just to make it stop.
Ren— or whatever was left of him— cradled you against him, rocking slightly as tears streamed down his face. "I ruined everything," he murmured, his voice fractured. "I—I wanted to be perfect for you. I wanted to be someone you could love. But I was never enough, was I?"
You sobbed into his chest, your body shaking uncontrollably. You wanted to hate him. You wanted to scream at him, to push him away, to run. But something in you cracked at his words, something deep and ugly and tangled with guilt. Because you had known him. Because once, a long time ago, you had been friends.
And now, both of you were broken beyond repair.
The ink around you dissipated, but its presence lingered, staining everything it touched.
Including you.
Including him.
He ruined everything.
No.
You ruined him.
He was never supposed to be like this. He was supposed to be happy. He was supposed to be someone else, someone whole, someone untouched by obsession and pain and a love so twisted it devoured everything in its path.
And yet here he was.
Crying.
Crying for you, for himself, for the past that could never be undone.
You screamed, throat raw, body trembling as you pushed against him, nails digging into his arms, shoving with every ounce of strength you had left. "GO AWAY!! GO AWAY!!" The words left you like a desperate exorcism, like if you said them enough, you could banish him, the ink, the past, everything that led to this moment. But nothing changed. He was still there. Still looking at you with that broken, pleading gaze. Still holding you as if letting go meant losing himself entirely.
"I’m sorry… I’m sorry…!" You sobbed, body wracked with uncontrollable shudders. The ink, the memories, the suffocating weight of it all crushed down on you until the world blurred, until your head spun and your breath stuttered—until there was nothing but blackness.
When you woke up, your body ached. The room was eerily silent, save for the faint rhythm of breathing beside you. You turned your head, heart seizing at the sight of him—[REDACTED]—asleep, curled up just inches away. His fingers were loosely laced with yours, gripping even in unconsciousness, as if even in sleep, he was terrified of losing you again.
You stiffened, breath caught in your throat. He looked… so different like this. Not the monster you had screamed at. Not the obsessive shadow that had haunted you. Just… him. His face, usually sharp with desperation and unchecked emotion, was peaceful now. Vulnerable. His long lashes cast shadows over his pale skin, and his lips—so often trembling with unspoken words—were parted slightly, his breath warm against your wrist.
A choked noise slipped past your lips before you even realized it. You had ruined him, hadn’t you? You had left him behind, and he had chased you into madness. If you had just looked back—if you had just seen him, really seen him—maybe it wouldn’t have come to this. Maybe he wouldn’t have had to carve out a new identity just to be near you again.
Your eyes drifted to his chest, to the thin silver chain around his neck. There it was. The ring. The one he had once held out to you with trembling hands, the one Leon had tossed away like it meant nothing.
You hesitated only a moment before reaching out. Your fingers curled around the ring, carefully sliding it from the chain. The metal was cool against your skin as you turned it over, inspecting the worn edges, the faint imprint of time. And then, without thinking, without knowing why, you slid it onto your own ring finger.
It fit.
Tears welled up again, burning hot trails down your cheeks as you laid back down, curling up beside him. Not on the bed. Not in the safety of the blankets. But here. On the cold floor, next to the boy you had abandoned.
You didn’t care anymore.
You had ruined him.
You wanted to fix him.
And maybe, just maybe… you could tell him what you should have said all those years ago.
*I have stolen all of their headwear, leaving only FROGGY HAT in his closet.*
"Boy it sure is chilly today. Don't forget to wear a scarf and a hat when you come pick me up, okay [REDACTED]?"
✦゜ANSWERED: I believe in froggy hat [REDACTED] supremacy 🖤🐸
He knew. Of course he knew. [REDACTED]'s security system alerted him the second you stepped foot into his apartment, and it took the dark-haired hacker almost all of his willpower not to rush home and see you. But alas, he had other matters to attend to and messes to clean up here. Things he couldn't risk putting on hold, lest he pay the consequences for them later.
So, [REDACTED] settles for watching you through his cracked phone screen as you try to sneak your way around his apartment. They didn't really understand why you felt the need to be so secretive; you knew your boyfriend would be out for the day, you had his spare keycard and access to the entire 14th floor, and [REDACTED] had made it explicitly clear early on in the relationship that everything he owned was yours completely. Nothing was off limits to you, and that included every inch of his living space.
...And even himself.
Curiously, they watch with keen interest as you quietly slide the door to his walk-in closet open and take in your surroundings once more — making sure that you really were alone in his dimly-lit bedroom. But barely a moment passes before you stride in with a newfound purpose, unzip your backpack, and begin to stash all of his caps and beanies inside.
Well, alright then. If you decided he no longer needed those items, then so be it. He was never one to deny you anything.
But in retrospect, you were honestly doing [REDACTED] a favour. He genuinely didn't really need those items in his possession anymore — especially considering how he had no real reason to conceal his identity from you after all these years of being together.
He could never forget about that pivoted moment in time when you opened up to your beloved hacker about his rather... intense need to watch over you 24/7. And after you had scolded him multiple times for stalking you from darkened corners and alleyways outside your apartment complex, [REDACTED] had all but tried to change his ways. To better themselves for you.
After all, you deserved nothing less.
Glancing back at his phone once more, [REDACTED] takes in every little movement you make as you continue to tuck away his belongings; down to the turn of your head and the flex in your muscles. Not a single twitch or glance goes unnoticed under his watchful gaze — and had the dark-haired man not been so enraptured by your ministrations — he surely would've noticed that it was just about time for him to start packing his tools up and head home.
Home, in time for the date you had planned for the evening.
But the way you purposefully moved around his closet had [REDACTED] in a trance. You were extremely methodical about the things you were swiping from his shelves; neatly packing away all of the headgear, earmuffs, and scarves on display (and even the ones hidden within the depths of his drawers!). Yet... One single item remained in the aftermath of your wake.
Atop one of the lone shelves in the corner, it sits, isolated from the rest of its kind. Worn out yet well loved; it was no more than a novelty item your boyfriend had originally won for you from a crane game. But even after their constant insistence that you should keep it, you rebutted it all by saying it'd look better on him instead — all while pushing the cute, froggy hat back into his hands with a teasing smile.
("If you keep bleaching your hair like that," his real name falls from your lips like sweet nectar, "All of your hair will fall out. When that happens, you can use this to keep your bald head warm!"
"...When that happens? Hmph. You're gettin' cheeky." With a smile of his own, your boyfriend reaches out to gently pinch your cheek. "I haven't touched m'hair in ages.")
So after watching you be so meticulous with the items you were "robbing", the hacker couldn't help but wonder what your main motive was. Why leave that silly, little frog hat alone unless... Did you want him to wear it? You knew [REDACTED] would never say no to you — let alone to a frivolous request — but admittedly, they did find it rather endearing to watch you put in all that effort just for him.
Just like how he used to be... Back before you opened the curtains of his life and brought sunshine into his heart.
Gone are the days of "Ren", when [REDACTED] had to snoop around your apartment just to get any sort of inclination of what your type and interests might be. No longer did [REDACTED] have to "borrow" some of your old clothing to keep himself company on lonely nights; to put them over his pillow and pretend like it was you he was holding close to his chest. He no longer had to steal your presents and tokens out of spite and jealousy — only to return them days later once they noticed how upset it made you.
Too caught up in reminiscing about the past, [REDACTED] had almost missed your swift getaway from his bedroom. Living up to your nickname, you glide down the staircase and across his foyer as if you sprouted angel wings on your back and stroll into the elevator, before closing the door and pulling out your phone.
And just like clockwork, [REDACTED]'s camera feed gets replaced by the bright red and green call buttons that shake and taunt him at the bottom of the screen — alongside the personalised caller photo of you smiling towards the sunset ocean with [REDACTED]'s jacket atop your shoulders. The dark-haired man leaves no room for pause before he's swiping his finger across the screen and eagerly anticipating the sound of your voice.
You greet him in that casual, nonchalant tone of yours, and [REDACTED] had to resist the urge to start recording the call — to save the addictive timbre of your voice for when he needs to hear it the most.
"Man... It sure is chilly today, don't you think?"
There's the familiar sound of tacky elevator music playing in the background, and part of [REDACTED] thinks you're purposefully calling him right now to let him in on your (not so) secret escapades... To let them know where you are.
Or perhaps you were already aware that he knows, if the way you were glancing up at the elevator camera was anything to go by.
Regardless, you don't give away any other telling signs as your beloved hacker watches you through the camera. Your bag is still carefully slung over a shoulder, while one of his old, black university caps received the pleasure of being fiddled with in your hand. Your voice returns once more, and it causes a grin to form on his lips.
"Don't forget to wear a scarf and a hat when you come pick me up, okay?"
There's a newfound teasing lilt in your tone, which has [REDACTED] latching on to your every word with bated breath and scrambling for a reply.
"'Course. Wouldn't miss our date for the world. 'N make sure y'stay warm too, angel." Without missing a beat, he easily takes his place in your little game. "Wouldn't wanna misplace your jacket 'n get cold now, would we?"
Your pixelated smile on the screen gives everything away.
You hear the unmistakable sound of [REDACTED]'s sports motorbike before you see it; watching the corner of your street as he appears from the darkness like a phantom.
And like the gentleman that he is, [REDACTED] doesn't make you stray far from the safety of the streetlamp either. The moment your boyfriend pulls up in front of you, one of his large hands reaches around your waist to draw you near (almost as if he'd gone years without being in your presence), while the other makes quick work of the latch of his helmet. In one swift motion, he pulls it off and rests it against the tank—
Only to reveal that cute, pastel green frog hat sitting atop his head.
He can't help but smile when you do; clearly pleased that he went through with your silly request. At that, you let out a low hum of appreciation as you lean against your boyfriend's chest, and [REDACTED] returns the favour by bending down and pressing a chaste kiss against the crown of your head as well.
"...Think y'could give this unworthy prince another kiss, love?" Your beloved boyfriend leans in closer until your lips are millimetres away from touching, "Otherwise I might stay cursed t'live in this froggy form forever."
Yeah I getcha. I was once like you. Pure and naive. Great news. I AM STILL PURE AND NAIVE, GAME DEV IS FUN! But where to start?
To start, here are a couple of entry level softwares you can use! source: I just made a game called In Stars and Time and people are asking me how to start making vidy gaems. Now, without further ado:
SOFTWARES AND ENGINES FOR PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW HOW TO CODE!!!
Ren'py (and also a link to it if you click here do it):
THE visual novel software. Comic artists, look no further
✨Pros: It's free! It's simple! It has great documentation! It has a bunch of plugins and UI stuff and assets for you to buy! It can be used even if you have LITERALLY no programming experience! (You'll just need to read the doc a bunch) You can also port your game to a BUNCH of consoles!
✨Cons: None really <3
Some games to look at: Doki Doki Literature Club, Bad End Theater, Butterfly Soup
Twine:
Great for text-based games! GREAT FOR WRITERS WHO DONT WANNA DRAW!!!!!!!!! (but you can draw if you want)
✨Pros: It's free! It's simple! It's versatile! It has great documentation! It can be used even if you have LITERALLY no programming experience! (You'll just need to read the doc a bunch)
✨Cons: You can add pictures, but it's a pain.
Some games to look at: The Uncle Who Works For Nintendo, Queers In love At The End of The World, Escape Velocity
Bitsy:
Little topdown games!
✨Pros: It's free! It's simple! It's (somewhat) intuitive! It has great documentation! It can be used even if you have LITERALLY no programming experience! You can make everything in it, from text to sprites to code! Those games sure are small!
✨Cons: Those games sure are small. This is to make THE simplest game. Barely any animation for your sprites, can barely fit a line of text in there. But honestly, the restrictions are refreshing!
Some games to look at: honestly I haven't played that many bitsy games because i am a fake gamer. The picture above is from Under A Star Called Sun though and that looks so pretty
RPGMaker:
To make RPGs! LIKE ME!!!!!
NOTE: I recommend getting the latest version if you can, but all have their pros and cons. You can get a better idea by looking at this post.
✨Pros: Literally everything you need to make an RPG. Has a tutorial inside the software itself that will teach you the basics. Pretty simple to understand, even if you have no coding experience! Also I made a post helping you out with RPGMaker right here!
✨Cons: Some stuff can be hard to figure out. Also, the latest version is expensive. Get it on sale!
Some games to look at: Yume Nikki, Hylics, In Stars and Time (hehe. I made it)
engine.lol:
collage worlds! it is relatively new so I don't know much about it, but it seems fascinating. picture is from Garden!
NOTE: There's a bunch of smaller engines to find out there. Just yesterday I found out there's an Idle Game Maker made by the Cookie Clicker creator. Isn't life wonderful?
✨more advice under the cut. this is Long ok✨
ENGINES I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT AND THEY SEEM HARD BUT ALSO GIVE IT A TRY I GUESS!!!! :
Unity and Unreal: I don't know anything about those! That looks hard to learn! But indie devs use them! It seems expensive! Follow your dreams though! Don't ask me how!
GameMaker: Wuh I just don't know anything about it either! I just know it's now free if your game is non-commercial (aka, you're not selling it), and Undertale was made on it! It seems good! You probably need some coding experience though!!!
Godot: Man I know even less about this one. Heard good things though!
BUNCHA RANDOM ADVICE!!!!
-Make something small first! Try making simple: a character is in a room, and exits the room. The character can look around, decide to take an item with them, can leave, and maybe the door is locked and you have to find the key. Figuring out how to code something like that, whether it is as a fully text-based game or as an RPGMaker map, should be a good start to figure out how your software of choice works!
-After that, if you have an idea, try first to make the simplest version of that idea. For my timeloop RPG, my simplest version was two rooms: first room you can walk in, second room with the King, where a cutscene automatically plays and the battle starts, you immediately die, and loop back to the first room, with the text from this point on reflecting this change. I think I also added a loop counter. This helped me figure out the most important thing: Can This Game Be Made? After that, the rest is just fun stuff.
So if you want to make a dating sim, try and figure out how to add choices, and how to have affection points go up and down depending on your choices! If you want to make a platformer, figure out how to make your character move and jump and how to create a simple level! If you just want to make a kinetic visual novel with no choices, figure out how to add text, and how to add portraits! You'll be surprised at how powerful you'll feel after having figured even those simple things out.
-If you have a programming problem or just get confused, never underestimate the power of asking Google! You most likely won't be the only person asking this question, and you will learn some useful tips! If you are powerful enough, you can even… Ask people??? On forums??? Not me though.
-Yeah I know you probably want to make Your Big Idea RIGHT NOW but please. Make a smaller prototype first. You need to get that experience. Trust me.
-If you are not a womanthing of many skills like me, you might realize you need help. Maybe you need an artist, or a programmer. So! Game jams on itch.io are a great way to get to work and meet other game devs that have different strengths! Or ask around! Maybe your artist friend secretly always wanted to draw for a game. Ask! Collaborate! Have fun!!!
I hope that was useful! If it was. Maybe. You'd like to buy me a coffee. Or maybe you could check out my comics and games. Or just my new critically acclaimed game In Stars and Time. If you want. Ok bye
