So today was a shitty rollercoaster of a day, that ended in a huge decision.
So a lil backstory, I took a year break from college to work and this semester I went back in and while I was going to classes I took up a part time job that I currently love and am doing really well in (already got a small promotion).
The year break caused more of a difference in my schoolwork than I thought it would. Around November I started struggling and unfortunately I failed 2 of my 4 classes. I was planning on simply trying again at those classes and just those 2 classes next semester.
My family found out I failed them and my mom decided to take, what I and several people think, are some pretty drastic measures.
1) Iâm no longer allowed to stay the night at my boyfriends (understandable tbh, but Iâm 21 and it kinda stung).
2) I am to take full 4 classes (my mother believed that it was an âinfantile excuseâ when I told her I underestimated school due to the year break) next semester and I have to have Aâs in them all.
3) Continue work (no problem for me).
4) I am to find a home for my cat, or I take him to the shelter within the next week. This was the breaking point. My cat is my support animal, I rescued him when he was a kitten and spent close to $2,000 on medical bills for him. Heâs like my kid and even typing and thinking about having to find a new place for him makes me start to cry, itâs unbearable to think about.
My boyfriend has had enough with my familyâs actions when they come down to certain things because unfortunately my family places a lot of value on how other people see us, even when it comes to a cost of some of our mental health. Iâve been threatened to get kicked out of the house if I didnât pass a test before. My mom once threatened to unenroll me in school and house-teach me instead because my friends at school were a âdisctractionâ and thatâs why my grades were struggling at the time. I got in trouble at school in elementary school and my mom gave me the silent treatment for 3 days (it became a semi-normal punishment because she knows I hate it (itâs why I hate silence, makes me nervous). Iâm afraid to tell her almost anything, especially if itâs a mistake I did. But then it only gets worse because I keep it in, I get harsh punishments, so Iâm afraid to tell her the next time I screw up, and boom itâs a cycle.
I donât have any medication right now because I donât have health insurance and canât afford it yet so Iâm barely dealing with everything as it is. Iâm constantly having to relax or be on edge, having to brace myself for anything because my moms moods change rapidly sometimes, flinching when people raise their arms quickly because she sometimes (much rarer now but when I was younger it was often) hits me, having my heart beat like crazy when she comes home because I never know what mood sheâs in, constantly having my faults examined by the whole family, being told I need to better or that what Iâve done âcould always be improvedâ.
I feel like her love is conditional, as long as I do exactly as she asks.
Iâve been told that my family has a habit of being emotionally abusive, and right now Iâve reached my limit.
BIG DECISION TIME
Within the next week or 2 Iâm planning on slowly moving into my boyfriends house. Weâve added up my bills (unfortunately I have debts to pay off), which come to about $900 a month. I currently make $550-$600 a month, and decided to work a second job and unfortunately put schooo on pause until the summer and I save for a class or 2. My boyfriend told me heâll help me pay for my bills, but due to bills he himself has he can only give me so much.
Unfortunately I didnât work that much the past 2 weeks due to school being out and so my much needed first month paycheck (after all this is a very quick move and I need to pay all my bills myself next month to show my family they no longer have any control over me) is going to be pitifully small. My second paycheck in January should be bigger but it wonât come near covering what I have to cover after my boyfriends help.
Iâm so sorry for how long this has gotten.
I hate to ask this, but Iâm desperate and in a rush, but if anyone could please donate, anything would help. I have to get out of this house. If you canât donate, please share. I only need enough for for January, after that I should be set by normal working hours again.
Please donate to paypal.me/M824
Or
Cash.me/$Marquez428
Anything helps, even a reblog.
Hereâs some pictures of Rodimus, literally the main reason I reached my limit with my emotionally abusive family.
