Call me Guido

Bellissimo son of a mama posting

[eebie]

yea i’m studying for my master’s degree in elf sex

[just-sans-things]

my cherios spelled out my exact address this morning but like what the gudge ever i gobbled those honey nut freaks up and licked the bowl too

[just-sans-things]

someone contact my fucking lawyers

[rnismatch]

the write brothers died when one of them flew his personal craft into a grain silo and the other hit the grain silo next to it

[thesecretuncle]

9/11 happens

Wright Bros did it first 🙄

[rnismatch]

you know something crazy is i didnt know i had this uncle until just now

[heckyeahponyscans]

I watched the live action version of "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" on Youtube and I was not ready for the utter lack of emotions from the CGI animals.

Nala looking concerned about Simba hiding something about his past, a comparison:

Also, in CGI this song called "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" does not take place at night.

[naamahdarling]

[dogpuppy]

[segamascott]

charlie kirk didn't kill himself‼️

[pukicho]

Can you ask my doctor to remove my ovaries please?

I just don’t understand why you think I have authority over your doctor. What do you see me as.

[andrevalias]

there was that time you paid lip service to doctors over furries.

[pukicho]

I saw some crazy images online and now I prefer furries

[sailermoon]

I’m actually always thinking of that “maybe I won’t die cause I’m special” tweet

[sailermoon]

[sufjansjoy]

does anybody know how to get out of bed. or be a better person

[sufjansjoy]

wow

[effiecalvin]

eevee should have a normal type evolution called eeveevee and it's just an eevee but bigger and floofier

[crucifiedeye]

This was parked in front of the club

[dragongirlbunny]

reporting a trans woman for "NSFW" (completely normal selfie in a tshirt) - 1 button press

reporting a nazi: navigate through several menus, have receipts on hand, write us not one but two short form essays and solve my riddles three or an error message is awaiting for thee

[ars-shitpostica]

The existence of anon asks, side blogs that can be accessed with a click and all the ways one can be to be catty but never revealing it to the person they're badmouthing is proof that tumblr is the social media of the coward

[sayorithot]

hm yes the mysterious handy tool for unusual home adventures with a twist my favorite device

[gyarutau]

Haha yeah man thats- youre gonna call who?

[frailgun]

i did a google search for "most recent invention" which my girlfriend said was something strong bad would do

[frailgun]

angriest I've ever been in my life

[brightwingedbat]

help

[innerchildabortionclinic]

why do police officers even try to make thirst content in their cars on social media like your ex girlfriend's body is probably in the trunk

[moveslikekeithrichards]

when i was a kid my Getting To Sleep technique was visualizing a child-sized shriveled up mummy with big piercing eyes that would stand silhouetted in the doorway & stare at me & probably attack if i so much as opened my eyes after getting into bed & this technique caused me to develop a lifelong nighttime-induced paranoia & it still takes me 2 hours to fall asleep. so i wouldnt recommend that