Artemis-Light

Hi. I’m going insane. Still a woman enjoyer though

[strangelycasualhorror]

Yall wtf do I do!? (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞

[artemis-light]

Excellent question

How does that even happen

[strangelycasualhorror]

I don't know!! ;w;

There's boss music playing, please help me!!!

[artemis-light]

What happened when you interacted with it? Im genuinely intrigued

[strangelycasualhorror]

Yall wtf do I do!? (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞

[artemis-light]

Excellent question

How does that even happen

[lamine-19]

scientific fact

[artemis-light]

Have they considered checking the hammer for black mold

[princeoffife07]

random gh musing of the day: i bet angus 2 was a biter as a kid. he just gives me biter energy

[artemis-light]

And he is totally justified in that

[dnddungeonmastersdiary]

[alexaloraetheris]

We used paper cutouts glued to toothpicks and stabbed into erasers, but I like this idea better.

[inbabylontheywept]

For a college game, I used an entire box of candy canes as a size colossal monstrous zombie grasshopper, and then when it died I ripped the box open and used the candy canes as size large monstrous parasitic horsehair worms erupting from its corpse. Nobody actually wanted to eat them after that so I took them home and ground them into a powder with a pestle, intending to add it to my hot cocoas. But I didn’t wash the pestle very well last time after using it to crush garlic and chilis, so I accidentally made chili-garlic-mint powder and then I tried serving that cocoa at a later D&D sesh, and we were all baffled at why it tasted so horrible until I was like oh my god it’s the ground up zombie ass worms. I contaminated them with garlic and chilis. And the group was like YOU GROUND UP THE ZOMBIE ASS WORMS AND FED THEM TO US which seemed like a lot of fuss over what would have otherwise been free and delicious cocoa. Then after that before taking any snacks they’d ask did you perchance put any zombie ass chili-garlic worm powder in this?, and then refuse to eat until I said None.

Which they thought was very funny, even if I was slightly less amused, but I bided my time until they got tired of the joke and stopped specifically asking. Then I poured all the remaining zombie ass chili-garlic worm powder into a bag of party mix. The first guy to take a bite spluttered, and I laughed, and everyone said WHAT DID BABS DO, and I said THE WOOOORMS… YOU FORGOT TO ASK… OHMYGOD… and then I laughed so hard I actually cried. Derailed the start time almost an hour.

Oh that was a wonderful day.

[bonetrader]

A good, a neutral, and an evil DM. In this order.

[pqleyr]

Previously undiscovered fan content. A+

[artemis-light]

Showing this to my friends and saying this is all the lore they should know

[jojo-the-dogg0]

Equiping an armor tutorial

i'll prob make more bc i love talking ab armors

[colemckenzies]

you can make nearly any object into a good insult if you put ‘you absolute’ in front of it

example: you absolute coat hanger

[ggiornojo]

as well u can just add ‘ed’ to any object and it’s sounds like you were really drunk

example: i was absolutely coat hangered last night

[colemckenzies]

#i was gazeboed mate #i was absolutely baubled

[animatedamerican]

Meanwhile, “utter” works for the first (e.g., “you utter floorboard”) but somehow “utterly” doesn’t seem to work as well for the second (“I was utterly floorboarded”).

[nentuaby]

Utterly doesn’t work for drunk because it’s the affix for turning random objects into terms for *shocked*, obviously.

[animatedamerican]

… huh.  I thought that might just be the similarity to “floored”, and yet “I was utterly coat hangered” does seem to convey something similar.

I have to tell you, I am utterly sandwiched at this discovery.

[thepioden]

Completely makes the phrase mean “super tired”.

“God, it’s been a long week, I am completely coat-hangered.”

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Something is

Something is wrong with our language

[rooksandravens]

Is it a glitch or a feature?

[cranberrybogmummy]

Feature

[sunshinemoonrx]

HUH?

Most cop thing I've ever read. what the fuck are you talking about. The posts you're looking for might be on this website but we won't show them to you???

[sunshinemoonrx]

I'm sure all my settings are set to "yes show me mature content no don't filter anything" what are you TALKING ABOUT

[sunshinemoonrx]

the posts are ON THE WEBSITE. I can't search dirty words?? am I five??? is this club penguin??? when I get you

[noticesghosts]

What the hell

[noticesghosts]

What is going on

[error-404-fuck-not-found]

just so you know, if you completely ignore the search feature on the website and just type "tumblr.com/search/term" into the address bar, it bypasses all of this. broken-ass website

[ivy-michaels]

You guys do know you're supposed to reblog things, right

[ivy-michaels]

"well i like this post but i'm worried my followers might not" fuck your followers. The entire point of tumblr is to cause irreparable psychic damage to your followers. We are locked in mortal combat on the astral plane. You must win. You Must Win. You Must Destroy Them.

[tainbocuailnge]

the original got flagged with no way to appeal it when every contributor is deactivated but I will never let this post die. it's monday and we are getting on it cunts

[ben-turk-daily]

I ran out of fresh Bens, so now I must make my own abomination

[artemis-light]

Lab grown Bens…

[funnytwittertweets]

[vacuously-true]

HELLO???

[imalexisss]

[ID: two images. The first is a tweet by sky 🦨🐭 @ skunkgender that reads:

getting pretty bored of estrogen and testosterone i think they should make a third one and they should get real weird with it

The second image is a screenshot of a tumblr tag that reads:

#toblerone?

End ID.]

[of-void-and-stars]

Updated ID: both images have been removed by tumblr, they now read "This content has been removed for violating Tumblr's Community Guidelines." End ID

[virtualgirladvance]

Queerest place on the internet

[flugelwhisper]

Okay here's the original post, courtesy of uwu_yum on Reddit

[shadowy-dumbo-octopus]

You know what, I keep poking affectionate fun at Angus's obvious crush on the Robot Prince but i wouldn't be surprised if Tooley was down just as bad, except perhaps better at hiding it.

Because if I was a prince shackled to a destiny of eternal dominion and actively seeking out epic battles to escape it, and then another destiny-bound prince rolled up on a sickass motorbike & went "heyyyyy handsome, wanna ditch your destiny and fight some epic battles with me and the lads?" I would be taking him on my mighty wings before he even finished the sentence.

[shadowy-dumbo-octopus]

Tooley also has your classic "robot/artificial intelligence being programmed a certain way and struggling with the idea of an existence beyond their purpose", so there's also the delicious thrill of doing something new and forbidden which destiny and/or Daddy Mecha King wouldn't approve of.

Also I'm DYING at the idea of Angus being so touch starved that he'd absolutely pull a Grace and go "yeah if he wanted to do open heart surgery on me I'd probably let him." Like, not out of necessity, not to save his life, but just because Tooley asked.

"Yeah I'd loooove for my crush to just SHOVE his hands inside me and poke around there. It's only fair bc I want to poke around inside him as well. Yeah I totally wouldn't mind if he did that. Ideally while straddling my hips. And I'm still awake and whimpering and moaning and wait is this thing on, is this recording, FUCK-"

Tooley sitting next to him: [frantically swatting away notifications about overheating systems] I htink I hauve malware

[destiny-of-steel]

inspired me

[shadowy-dumbo-octopus]

DREAD OH MY GOD I OWE YOU MY LIFE.

Angus, fretting and horrifically oblivious: Malware? Oh no! Do you need a hand with that? I spent a lot of time around robots while growing up on the moon so I know my way around most of them - I can rummage around in your systems to see what's wrong. What do you need? What can I do? Oh damn you're burning up! Judging by the volume of your cooling fans you're one temperature spike away from an involuntary shutdown. Here, hook your feed up to my helmet visor so I can read your error messages, maybe together we can-

Ralathor, sitting in the corner of the room, head in hands: hey there Starlords, it's me, ya boi. Can you PLEASE get me out of this timeline ASAP

[destiny-of-steel]

as per the video,,,

[redstonedust]

you guys heard of "women ? " it's awesome. compliments to the chef.

[daddy-walking-ham]

Is this what Zargothrax actually drowned in?

[artemis-light]

This explains why the first thing he did after getting defrosted is booking all the way over to a different galaxy for the key