I've been seeing so many cool as hell character analyses of Simon's character and his aggression, that I thought I'd take a crack at it! This post is greatly inspired by @ctrl-shift-alt-9 's blog, they have some really cool ideas to bring to the table, and they don't shy away from making Simon look bad.
Which, I wanna open up a paragraph to say, Simon looking bad is fucking important. If you're against the death penalty, you have to be against it for everyone, not just for people you pick and choose. If it is, you'll try to make the people who you don't think deserve it fit in the category of innocent person, which I think ended up being applied to Simon. To believe in restorative justice, you have to believe the not-innocent person has the means to get better. Which is exactly what I think is going on with Simon! And isn't that so much more compelling, anyway? That someone who was once terrible and terrifying decided to make the world a better place instead? Rather than being perfect from the start, or doubling down and insisting on what they did?
Many people are inclined to believe Simon has an aggression disorder. Maybe it's true! I've seen someone ( @lxcke ) point it might be intermittent explosive disorder, which, his behavior in the movie really matches what I've read up on, almost like it was tailor made. I wouldn't be surprised, Simon grew up with all kinds of trauma and that shit has lasting effect on the mind. But, this post here also points out that people get really weird when they're cornered and scared. Simon is in an extremely stressful, painful and scary situation, and he knows it.
That's what I wanna talk about. He knows it. He's bizarrely self-aware of his responses and reactions through the entire movie. One scene that comes to mind is, when chasing for the location of the skeleton, he apologizes to Ava for the radiation blast. Those are his words:
Like ctrl-shift-alt-9 pointed out, his past history implies aggression was likely encouraged and a safe emotion to feel. While I believe this kind side isn't new to him, Someone with this possible track record being this self-aware of his emotions while in the Situation That Makes You Lose The Plot is fucking commendable. Not only that, he's admitting vulnerability and fear to his captors. He's confessing guilt and apologizing to people he knows might not want to pull him out of the blood ocean, might just execute him in there. Like, yeah he insists several times to Ava that he'll be free, but that's a normal response especially with his agreement with the COI. We're looking at what he's like when in touch with his emotions.
In several times in the movie, Simon lashes out, and then immediately feels bad about it and tries to ground himself. When he breaks the speaker and sobs afterwards, when he hits the panel and says sorry to it. When he tries to get the computer to work after finding the SM-8 the first time - he hits the mouse but moves on and says it's not his problem. Even when he's talking to the eel's speaker voice, he hits the panel again, then sighs tiredly and cries.
This man is extremely aware he's inside the Torment Nexus, and he's trying to remain focus and not crash out and lose his entire shit so he can survive. I'd say he's focused on beating his own aggression, has been deconstructing it for a while, in order to, like he said to Ava during the hangar scene, make amends. I think it's a fair assessment to say, based on such observations, he doesn't want to be violent, not anymore. Someone who automatically says sorry to an inanimate object is someone whose first intention is to be kind. At least, kinder. I always think your second thoughts on something (saying sorry) are your real ones, cause the first thoughts (hitting shit) are usually the ones conditioned into you.
Hell, I'd say Simon is way more in touch with his own emotions, way more aware of his own responses to pain and punishment, than anyone in the COI, definitely more than Ava. He's probably been dealing with his guilt and what he wants to do about it since Filament Station and prison.
And, why, why in the fuck is he so self-aware? How can he be so adjusted in the Makes You Crash Out And Lose Your Shit Death Box? It took until the end of the movie for him to unleash the Butcher again and hit every teeth in the submarine. Is this bad writing? Did Markiplier, in all his complexities for Simon, made someone who irrealistically reacts to life or death situations?
Nah. I honestly, genuinely believe it was that or dead. Simon needs to ground himself and focus on survival, and that's part of how he does it. From locking in and making his own map of the AT-5 tunnels, to apologizing and admitting out loud that he's scared, to try and make peace with his imminent death when he was down to the last light of his oxygen. If he didn't have those qualities, he wouldn't have survived long enough for us to see him in the movie. He died from circumstances outside of his control (aka GIANT FISH eating the submarine that was coming to get him), and until then, he survived on his own wits and by coping any way he could. Learning how to grow and recover from his violence.
He'd be dead long before the movie started if he didn't try, and the voices even try to use insecurities based on that against him. Half measured. Half commited. Never enough.
Well I think he was pretty damn committed. And that's how an eel eats shit.
you don’t realize how important lunch is until you’re wandering around thinking about how unloveable and untalented and uniquely cursed you are and then it’s 4pm and you finally eat lunch and you go Oh. oh right.
grace, who has been alone for five minutes: oh my god. an alien! im not alone anymore! i hope he wants to be friends :)
rocky, coming up on 50 years of solitude, imprinting on grace in ways baby ducklings can only dream of: if you leave me to sleep where i can't watch your heart beat i am blowing up this tunnel with us both in it
hate when i have multiple art pieces but they dont all look cohesive together so i have to omit them from the post. so annoying. anyway heres more art. sorry for posting these three so much.. i vowed to be more original this year but look at whats turned.
I actually do think we should discourage women from becoming housewives. Do not become financially dependent on a man. That's how a lot of women ended up dead over the years. A man gets violent suddenly and you have to choose between homelessness or potentially dying at his hand because you have an enormous gap in your resume and no degrees or certifications or anything that will help you pursue a career that will allow you to be financially independent. He owns your bank account. His name is probably the one on the car. Try and leave and he can report it stolen. Where will you go then?
And if you do become a housewife, take steps to protect yourself. Make sure you’re legally married, for starters; stay-at-home girlfriends have very little legal recourse to claim their partner’s assets in a breakup. Make sure your name is on the house deed/rental agreement, and have your car in your name, even if your spouse is paying for it. Have your spouse transfer money every month into an account solely in your name, so you can buy yourself things without needing permission, but also so you can save up to leave if needed.
If your spouse fights you on any of this, then don’t quit your job. The tradwife to poverty pipeline is real, and so is financial abuse.
also, many women/people experience controlling behaviour and domestic violence from their partner for the first time during pregnancy. don’t risk thinking “he’s just stressed, it’ll get better when the baby comes” because it won’t. neither you and your child will ever be safe with that man. get out as early and safely as you can
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