I am a leaf on the wind

Jane Porter. 21. Artist. Engaged to Clyde Jenner and loathing every moment of it.

[isabellenewtons-blog]

"I- umm…it’s okay…"

[isabellenewtons-blog]

"You know I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone, I might have told Lana" Belle said wandering from the conversation a little, "that if I didn’t become a schoolteacher I would’ve become a wedding planner" she said with a bright smile. She had often joked with Atlantis that her love for fashion and color coordination might come into use if she became a wedding planner, working at the HatShop allowed her to use some of those skills. 

"What about you Jane? What did you want to do if you didn’t become an artist?"

[artsyjane]

Jane beamed to Belle, "That sounds so lovely! It can't possibly be too late, you know. If-- if you really would like to do something, that is. You could do it on the side, perhaps? Like a part-time job?" she asked.

"I uh... I don't know. It's all I've ever wanted to do. Perhaps, if I'd been able to attend University, I might've studied botany or zoology. I always liked those lessons when I was growing up."

[artsyjane]

A Little Favour || Jane and Rob

[robertiras-blog]

Rob watched as she prepared to let it all out, at least that what it looked like for him, he could tell they were past the guessing games and the formalities. There was no going back from this, for the first time in a long while Rob wondered what would’ve happen if he had only been the royal tax collector. A person that by definition only cared about being in her Majesty’s good graces, that only cared about doing his job, no matter the cost. He wondered if a different version of him were to exist, the one his father wished he had become, if the idea of rebellion had left his mind, what would that person have done after hearing Jane’s story. Because he was sure, now more than ever, that she was not here because she had found him trustworthy, part of him knew that she would’ve ended up here no matter who sat on his desk. Rob was finally learning that Jane didn’t fear being arrested, or even executed, all she wanted was out, one way or another.

With every new piece of information he grew more distraught, how could you not notice Rob? he asked himself. How come no one noticed? A worst question was, had people noticed and decided not to do anything? It was like that one time he and Faye had been playing in the field near the Hendersons, they had hear everything: the screams, the commotion, the horrifying sound of someone being hit, more screams. It had been Faye the one who had grabbed the first thing she could find, she was ready to storm the house, but Rob had stopped her, and insisted they instead called the guards. Mrs. Henderson accused the kids of having an ‘overactive imagination’ even as the bruises could be seen. Faye didn’t speak to him for a week. He never forgot about it. It was the first time he had learned that fear cut deeper than swords. And there was Jane Porter. Jane who Rob believed that given the chance she would take matters into her own hands. As she showed him the bruises he found himself speechless. 

How did you not noticed Rob? He asked himself again, maybe you did but you didn’t want to believe. Alice’s voice resounded in his mind no one can be that clumsy. He didn’t know what to say. He had nothing to offer, there was nothing he could say that would change any of it, he was so bad at it that everything he said would end up sounding like he pitied her. He didn’t. He was surprised, at her strength, at her determination, at how much she had endured. He didn’t understand what it was like, he would never understand, his sorries were going to sound empty, a girl like Jane deserved more than that. She wasn’t looking for a friend or a confidant, she was not looking for someone to protect her. All Rob had to offer was his silence and his help.

"What do you need?" he asked. 

[artsyjane]

Jane watched his face for only a moment as her words and injuries sunk in, as an understanding began to form between the two of them. There weren't the tears like when she'd told Finn or Roger. She didn't see the anger she'd seen in either of them, though it was possible that she just wasn't seeing it or that he wasn't the type to wear his heart on his sleeve. Regardless, Jane returned her gaze to her hands clasped in her lap as she waited for him to speak, for him to say anything.

"I need," Jane paused to clear her throat. A nap would be in order as soon as she finally left. "I suppose it sounds rather silly now, but my idea was to erase the records of my family's manor -- so that Jenner can't find it. Then I could just... hide there. As long as necessary."

She was relatively sure her father didn't know the address off the top of his head. It was why he had the address written down on the envelope containing the deed and only set of keys. Whether or not he would tell Jenner, should the man approach him about it... she would have to warn him somehow.

"I can't stay in the castle. I need to get away from Jenner. Somehow."

[robertiras-blog]

"So, I see i'm not the only one..."

[robertiras-blog]

"She’s a lovely person, did you get acquainted with her through the castle or the Four Diamonds?"

"And just so we are clear we are looking for Finn right?"

[artsyjane]

"Oh, through Four Diamonds. I uh, I don't socialise well at the castle. Which you might've noticed, I don't know."

"Yes, oh my gosh; Brynn will kill me if he finds out I brought Finn here and then lost him."

[vivianthornes]

"Whatever…" Vivian said in soft tone.

"So… since you don’t look okay, but don’t really want to talk about it… do you want to do something about it? Maybe get a drink or something?”

[artsyjane]

"That sounds... pretty great, actually."

[robertiras-blog]

"Just let it find it's mark..."

[robertiras-blog]

"I supposed as my memories go that one wasn’t that bad" he told her in a soft tone, he didn’t have to talk about the horrors in life with Jane, she knew well about those. "How’s everything?"

"How good is your aim? Because if what worries you is the strength, you could always use a crossbow." 

[artsyjane]

"Things are... okay. I'm alive and breathing and relatively un-injured. Uhm, what about you?"

"My aim? I uh... it's alright, I think. A crossbow would be... well that would make it easier, I suppose."

[artsyjane]

Wait!

[vivianthornes]

It’s okay, I don’t actually like spending money in this sort of events… the taxes are more than enough contribution to the crown. Why did you decided to put up a booth anyways?

[artsyjane]

I guess that's plenty understandable.

I uh, I'm not sure, really. I haven't been able to draw much lately and it just... it seemed like a good way to get out and finally have something to draw.

[princess-anastasia-moore]

"Silly? It’s a opinion that you have. Opinions are rarely silly in my experience. They say things about people that they normally might not say. Do not apologise for speaking your mind, because it’s something not everyone has the privilege to do."

[artsyjane]

"I uhm... I see. Thank-you... so much. Really."

[princess-anastasia-moore]

"I always thought it came after gaining quite a bit of experience about a subject. Wisdom comes much farther down the road for certain experiences than others."

[artsyjane]

"Oh, uhm... yes, of course you're right. I-- I'm sorry. I'm just really silly, sometimes."

[the-practically-perfect-blog]

"A little boy with dark hair and blue eyes.  I’ve seen him before, and I-"

"Wait!  Please wait!"

She saw him pause in front of a bush, looking back at her with calm eyes before ducking into the shrubbery and slipping beyond into Wonderland Park.

Mary turned back to Jane anxiously,

"Please tell me you saw him."

[artsyjane]

Jane stood on her tip-toes to try to get a better view of their surroundings, but saw nothing more than plants and such. "I... I don't know..." she said guiltily.

[damonravenscroft]

Being sick....

[damonravenscroft]

"I suppose we will beautiful." 

Damon slowly made his way around the room, inspecting the art piece by piece. He frowned when he saw a stack of destroyed canvases. “It’s a shame these have been destroyed, they are quite good. They are all good. I have to say I’m impressed doll. I knew you would be good, but I didn’t think you would be this good.” 

[artsyjane]

Jane's face fell as he commented on Jenner's latest victims. They hadn't been her best works, but they were still her creations and they still meant something to her. "Oh, uhm... thank-you," she said rubbing the back of her neck lightly. She felt completely out of place and awkward -- in her own room, no less.

[john-andermen]

"Hey... wait up..."

[john-andermen]

"So how did you made friends with them?" John asked with a smile, "do you go to the club a lot, I haven’t seen you there before" he cocked his head to the side trying to remember if he had seen her at Fire and Ice. 

"What kind of technique do you used the most?" he asked curiously, "do you do watercolours or like pencil …?"

[artsyjane]

"Well uhm," she laughed a little, "I met Roger when he uhm, when he nearly ran me over one time," she said, thinking back to that evening all those months ago. It all felt like a lifetime ago when she had still been so scared of Jenner, when she'd seen no way out, and when she'd had almost no friends at all. God, how things had changed for her. And yet... how very much the same everything was. "I don't know if you could say that I go a lot. I uhm... I used to go more frequently than I do now. I try to be discreet... I don't know how other court members would take the knowledge that I frequent a bar and club where clothes aren't exactly mandatory."

"I prefer pencils... uhn, I use charcoal a lot. It's... it's messy, but I just... I don't know, really. I just prefer it these days. Sometimes I'll use acrylics... oils are too messy for me and I-- I don't like watercolours much. I'm not sure why... I just don't."

[old-finn-bradshaw-blog]

"Wait."

[old-finn-bradshaw-blog]

"It might be because her Majesty’s definition of criminal is a bit too broad.  And it might be because we see things that the others around you don’t."

[artsyjane]

"Well... I uhm, that's fair to say, I suppose, though you didn't hear me say that! I am still a member of Court you know... I can't uhm... well, you know the situation better than most, I guess..."

[remy-smith]

Does that painting look crooked to you?

[artsyjane]

I uh, I didn't really want to say anything, but uhm... it could use a slight adjustment, perhaps.

[the-practically-perfect-blog]

"I think you’d like them.  Jane would certainly be delighted to meet you, considering you both share names."  Mary briefly looked beyond Jane and stiffened in surprise.

"The boy." Her eyes darted back to Jane, still wide from shock, "Jane, dear, will you please come with me.  I need… I need a second set of eyes."  Swiftly she strode after the small figure that suddenly sped off and away.

[artsyjane]

"Boy...?" Jane asked, whipping around to look behind her back. She didn't see anything, but that didn't mean there hadn't been anything at all. Boy... could Mary have meant... man? Was Jane being followed? Had... he found out something about her or where she went or what she was planning?

"Wha-- what is it? What do you think you saw?" she asked quietly as she got to her feet, following the other woman.

[robertiras-blog]

"So, I see i'm not the only one..."

[robertiras-blog]

"Pie uh? Well I think I saw Miss Smith arranging a few of her pies for display, maybe we could start there…?"

[artsyjane]

"Makes sense; we might as well. I haven't seen Miss Smith for a while, it'll be nice to see another friendly face."

[jillian-ashby]

ladies in waiting {jillian & jane}

It was another beautiful day—the sun was out, the birds were singing, and Jillian was stuck inside the palace. She didn’t have class today, and there was some sort of meeting (not that anyone would care if she missed it), so Jillian was officially trapped in her Courtly duties for the remainder of the day. Which, naturally, meant she was wandering the halls aimlessly.

It wasn’t until she was on the floor with a loud thud that the girl even realized what had happened. Panicked, she quickly looked around, immediately switching into recovery mode towards the young woman she’d just run into. Jillian tucked a lock of dark auburn hair back behind her ear as she hurried to pick up the scattered contents of the girl’s bag. “I’m so sorry, Miss,” she started, afraid to look the woman in the eye in case it was one of the princesses.

[artsyjane]

Everyday that passed and found Jane still calling the castle "home" was a day that left her nauseated and wound tighter than the world's fastest-moving clock. Everyday that passed and found Jane still calling Jenner her fiancée was a day that had her feeling sick. No longer was she a regular visitor to the palace gardens -- appearances and suspicions of other people be damned. No longer did she wander the halls for inspiration or having the occasional tea time with any of the other inhabitants. These days, Jane stayed in her room with the door locked at just about all times. If she wasn't in the castle, then she was at Primrose Acres, with all of the doors shut and locked. She was either alone, or she was with Finn, or with Ser Diver, learning to defend herself. When she was with them, she was a different person; she was herself. When she was in the castle, though, she was mousey, plain-Jane Porter. She was tired of pretending that everything was okay. She was tired of pretending that she was hopelessly in love and blissfully happy with Jenner. She was just plain tired.

That particular day found her debating staying in the castle or going out to her family's estate. There was a meeting that day, and it was expected of her to attend, but she knew that no one would miss her. People ignored and avoided her as it was. She was all but invisible to many of the court members. Her father, if he showed up, would chalk it up to her flightiness. Jenner wasn't yet an actual court member and while there was nothing to say he wouldn't be able to know if she was there or not, she highly doubted he would care at all to do so. Basically, at the end of the day, it came down to what she wanted to do. Did she want to continue playing her part and go to the meeting, or did she want to be (marginally) free and enjoy what was left of the day in Primrose Acres with the windows open or jogging through the woods or being with her friend?

She was rushing through the halls, determined to at least get to Primrose Acres that day when it felt like she smacked into a wall and went falling onto her back. Jane was almost convinced that she had smacked into a wall (or at least a pillar) when she heard a frantic voice apologising and the rustling of Jane's bag of clothes to change into (and some fruit from the kitchens). "It-- it's alright," she said as she scrambled awkwardly to her feet. "It happens to us all."

[artsyjane]

Wait!

[princess-anastasia-moore]

"I’m not artistic, I suppose Mother just wishes I was. I have other interest that I enjoy. I do appreciate art though, I think much of it is lovely."

"Not a problem, just trying to help out."

[artsyjane]

"Oh, well, I'm glad to hear that art as a whole hasn't been ruined for you."