But a song doesn't represent necessary what she always feel. Like maybe it's how she felt a day she was angry and made that anger a song, but that dosen't mean she dosen't value the time they spend together. It's a snapshot of her feelings at a time, doesn't mean she views it always that way. Don't if that make sense or not but I hope it does. She will probably write about him/the downfall a lot more and will revisit it later like for other situations. I find it hard to judge them both because we don't know half of the story.
Yeah for sure, and that's the fun thing about music, especially her discography because you'll find layers upon layers of depth once new material is released but I don't hold it against anyone to judge the person singing sll strictly from a narrative pov, we don't have to delve into her personal life necessarily
Oooh I have more things to add to the old label theory if you enjoyed that one. You know how she said Scooter wanted her to sign an ironclad NDA where she'd never be able to talk about him in a negative way in the future? And how annoyed she was at that even being a possibility? I 100% believe she was so annoyed because she's already had to sign one before, and it happened when she ended the contract with Big Machine. She's never said a single negative thing about the label or Borchetta. You could argue that her talking about him during the masters sale is talking bad, but it could also be argued that she's just stating facts too. But she'd be toeing the line. However, just like Colleen Ballinger (I HAD TO MAKE THIS JOKE SORRY NOT SORRY), she figured out she could put it in a song. Mask it as turmoil in a romantic relationship and she's good to go.
My examples of this include (long list ahead, also I'm not including songs pre-Lover because I've seen that to be a bit controversial with fans and I don't want you catching any heat for me):
Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince (I don't wanna fight vibes but also "Voted most likely to run away with you" vs "You say I abandoned the ship but I was going down with it"
Death by a Thousand Cuts ("Why am I still writing pages?" the story ended with the contract ending aka "paper-thin plans" and even her explanation of the song being about a slow and painful death of a relationship fits this theme)
I could argue Cornelia Street is about signing with Republic but I know it's a touchy one with fans leaving flowers and candles at the apartment there (I'm sorry but those fans are too much for me)
the 1 obviously, and the part in cardigan about being young and people thinking you know nothing, and in the last great american dinasty, you know how she says the dog was painted green, but in real life it was the cat? I think that's a nod to this specific storyline in her song in the sense, yes, all these things did happen, but I'm gonna make you think it was my lover (dog) not my business partner (cat).
exile, my tears ricochet, the "you were never mine" and "you weren't mine to lose" in august can also be about her masters, hoax, gold rush could be about that offer she got from Big Machine, where she'd have to record a new album for each one they sign over to her. She almost thought yes, but it could never be and "everybody wants you" sounds like there were a ton of people wanting to buy the label. The obviously we have tolerate it, happiness, closure, and it's time to go (I want to add here that the 15 million tears line is likely about her dad because be made $15 million from her masters being sold because he owned a small percentage of the label).
On to Midnights, I'm staring with Midnight Rain and then we have Question. I know it's an odd choice but it makes sense when you think about it - people could have been making fun of her for signing to a brand new label back in the day, thinking it wouldn't go anywhere, but she turned out to be the meteor strike for that label, which left everyone clapping. "Do you wish you could still touch her" aka "Do you wish you could still make bank off her art, especially now that she's bigger than ever?" which leads me right to Bejeweled and "the shoes I gave you as a present"and then Labyrinth is about singing to Republic. High Infidelity especially with "At the house lonely, good money, I'd pay if you'd just know me, seemed like the right thing at the time" with The Prophecy in perspective. I'd say the "give me back my girlhood" line fits this narrative too, because "the wound won't close". Hits Different as the wound is still bleeding, as is in You're Losing Me.
OH THIS IS SO GOOD I love love love this interpretation!!!
Okay, hear me out a little bit here. It's a little long but I'm shooting for clarity over conciseness.
My first take of SLL was that it was kind of cruel (and I still think so!), like I do think it's a bit more bitter and full of rage than is fair for what the actual substance of the song/narrative is. BUT as we're having a lot of discourse about "I'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free," I actually don't think it's a particularly unfair line. I think that's a pretty normal feeling, coming out of a long relationship that didn't end well. As other anons have mentioned, there are several references to both parties having "fallen victim to interlopers' glances," etc. and I think that's where some of this bitterness comes from, in addition to the struggle of trying to help a partner whose mental health is kind of tearing the relationship apart. So my point is that I don't think this line is meant to be viewed in an isolated context.
Also, I think the reason I'm willing to give that line a pass is because of the sheer volume of reference in this album (and previous ones!) to her desire to marry him and have children. She was like 26 when they got together, which IS pretty young in the grand scheme of things, and then they remained together through her early 30s. Now it's only been like a year since they split up but she's touching a lot on themes of having children, her friends are having kids and getting married, and as we can see in The Prophecy, it seems like she feels her life is just this revolving door of hope for getting the "ending" she was looking for, only for it not to pan out. Wrt her "youth" - I don't think she gave him all her youth in the traditional sense, but it's harder for a lot of people to date in their 30s, especially as a woman prioritizing a desire to have kids tends to be perceived as "desperate" by potential partners.
So to that end, I really think that lyric does make sense, even if it's not as nuanced as we might want. It seems like she was kind of all-in on the relationship in past songs, and their future as well, and it seems like she feels he's taken that future from her. (Not a very fair feeling, but imo, an understandable one.) Like, Taylor is going to be 35 this year, and that's NOT old - BUT in America, a pregnancy at 35 is considered a "geriatric pregnancy" (cringe) due to increased likelihood of complications, etc, so if she cares as much about having kids as she lets on, I kind of get it, even though it is pretty insensitive. I could definitely see this being a lot of where she's getting this idea of him having had her youth and it having been kind of wasted, despite that being a harsh thing to say and leaving out a lot of nuanced discussion about the parts of their relationship she clearly appreciated and enjoyed.
I think the cruelest part of this song is the parts where she puts his mental health on blast - "how much sad did you think I had in me?" I do think that's a really insensitive way to frame the situation, and I don't particularly appreciate it.
i can see this!! It's not unfair to think that way especially in the early stages of a separation because you're processing so much anger and grief you can't really get to the acceptance stage right away, so fair enough! But yes to all lines about his mental health! Even "you sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days" feels like a part of a conversation I shouldn't be privy to
I don’t know, y’all are entitled to your opinions, but as someone who’s been playing the “healer” type for over a decade, sometimes there really just are people you can’t help, and when you’re in that dark space, sometimes there’s people who want to help but can’t do it the way you need. And sometimes the kindest thing to do in that space is to separate. MO that’s what “we learned the right steps to different dances” means
fair enough, but I don't think the i can fix him (no really I can) ideology applies when it's your partner struggling with mental health issues. You can support them, you can be there for them but you can't heal or fix or help someone out of their depression as such. And nobody is judging anyone for calling it quits because it got too heavy for them
Basically for the past 100 years when a group of guys got together and started hanging out they would eventually form a band. This was when there was balance in the universe. Then at some point in the 2010s a powerful crystal cracked and a single shard was lost and then strife began… and now when a group of guys get together they form a podcast
i don’t understand how sll is any more cruel than something like you should be sad by halsey. loving someone who is chronically broken and won’t do anything to help themselves is a painful experience because they often take you down with them. I’ve never seen anyone comment on you should be sad being too brutal when it arguably takes that concept much further than so long london does. that perspective shouldn’t be hard to understand at all for a halsey fan.
i have nothing to say to you if you think there's any similarity between the muses of so long london and you should be sad anon. if my grandmother had wheels she would've been a bike???
you should be sad is about a broken man in a sense of, he's a bad person who takes out his problems out on people. sll is about a broken man in a sense where he's fucking depressed. how can someone confuse these two premises oh my gawd
literallyyyyyy. and also since anon mentioned "halsey fans", let's not forget about h's poem lighthouse (most likely about him) in I would leave me if i could like the situation was NOT at ALL similar to taylor and joe
"Are we enjoying the Red era so far? Good, perfect. You know, I’ve been touring, and playing live shows since I was, you know, like, I don’t know, 15 or whatever, and I’ve gotten to do so many tours that I’ve had so much fun doing. Like I was very much, before the Eras Tour, I was in a pattern of like, I’d put out an album, and then I’d do a tour named after that album, and then I’d put out an album, do a tour named after that album, and that was so, so much fun. But I think one of the reasons why the Eras Tour has been the most fun I’ve ever had in my life is that my one regret with those tours we did is we really didn’t come to Scotland enough. The results are clear. This was a huge mistake on my part. So, the cool thing about the Eras Tour is that it takes all of my favorite memories from the tours that I’ve done in the past, puts them all in one mega-show, and for me, that feels like we all get to experience those memories together. And there is one more song from Red that I was wanting to play, if you guys happen to have about 10 minutes to spare?"
— Taylor before playing All Too Well (10 Minute Version) in Edinburgh, Scotland on June 8th
Editorial from Pennsylvania discussing organ transplant discrimination on the basis of disability. PA HB585, which would ban denial of organ transplants based solely on disability, is currently pending before the House Judiciary Committee. A similar bill recently passed the Maryland legislature (seehttp://autisticadvocacy.org/2015/04/we-wrote-it-now-its-the-law/).
"Practicing is critical. It reminds us not to be ashamed. Practicing gives us power, choices and options. Practicing tells those we encounter, 'I believe in my right to be here and I will fight anyone who tries to deny me.'"
For Blogging Against Disablesm Day 2015: A disabled woman writes about practicing advocating for access without shame or apologies.
The latest Tweets on justiceforkayleb. Read what people are saying and join the conversation.
Kayleb Moon-Robinson is the 11 year old autistic black boy charged with a felony for kicking a trash can in Virginia and being assaulted by a cop while at school. This is not the first incident regarding his school system. It’s also part of a larger pattern in which black autistic boys in particular are targeted and criminalized heavily.
More links:
Petition from Morenike Onaiwu: https://www.change.org/p/justiceforkayleb-an-autistic-6th-grader-unfairly-convicted-of-a-felony
Lydia Brown at Autistic Hoya: http://www.autistichoya.com/2015/04/undoing-racism-anti-blackness-in.html?spref=tw
Kerima Cevik via Intersected: http://intersecteddisability.blogspot.com/2015/04/justice-for-kayleb-moon-robinson.html
ASAN statement: http://autisticadvocacy.org/2015/04/asan-statement-on-justiceforkayleb/
Free Thought Project: http://thefreethoughtproject.com/autistic-6th-grader-assaulted-school-cop-convicted-felon/
The Grio: http://thegrio.com/2015/04/12/11-year-old-autistic-boy-handcuffed-at-school-and-later-charged-with-a-felony/
Let’s hear some noise, social justice people. Help my faith in humanity here: Do autistic black lives matter as much as non-autistic? Please say yes, because THEY DO.
Please fight for him like you fight for non-autistic people. I know you can do this.
Right now, Congress is considering what language to use in the bill responsible for funding the U.S. Health & Human Services Agency (HHS). HHS oversees a lot of disabled-related programs, including several other federal agencies that focus on people with disabilities. VOR (originally an abbreviation for “Voice of the [R-word slur]”), a group that persistently advocates for more institutionalization, is trying to get all of their supporters nationally to send in letters to the congressional committee ending all federal funds for home and community-based services. Basically, they want to protect institutions – group homes, large-scale institutions, and sheltered workshops, where disabled people earn just cents per hour for menial labor in a segregated workplace.
We need your voice to fight against those who want to keep disabled people in segregated settings. We’re asking our members and supporters (and chapters!) to send the letter below the cut to the committee urging them to support funds for community integration. These funds will make sure HHS and its agencies can keep moving people out of institutions while ensuring they get the services they need in the community. People with disabilities belong in the same schools, workplaces, and communities as everyone else. We deserve real choice, not institutions and segregation.
All you have to do is follow these simple steps:
1. Fill in the spaces on the letter with your name and where you are from. You should encourage others to send copies as well, and they should fill in the spaces with their individual information.
2. Email the whole thing to [email protected] using the subject line “FY 2016 written testimony for the record."
All letters have to be sent by 5:00pm Eastern Time on this Wednesday, April 29.
Thank you for taking action on this urgent and time sensitive issue!
Spacerobot Studio will be with ASAN-WA at the Seattle Fremont Sunday Market this Sunday 4/26 at a booth for Autism Acceptance Month!
http://www.fremontmarket.com/
http://spacerobotstudio.etsy.com/
We’ll be selling necklaces and scarves! A bunch of things from our etsy store will be there, along with a ton of new stuff! We’ll be selling things at a discount, all necklaces $10 and all scarves $30, cash only since we’re not set up to take cards in-person yet, and 20% of the sales from the day will be donated to ASAN.
Other people from ASAN-WA will be there with fliers and info, this is an Autism Acceptance Month event. Stop by if you want to come say hi, get info about ASAN and neurodiversity, or buy stuff from your friendly local autistic multiple artist weirdos. :)
…Also I just checked and I currently have 43 scarves I’m planning on taking, along with any other ones I finish in the next two days. You’d think I’m obsessed with knitting or something. :P Let’s see if I can make it to 50 scarves!
People all over the planet are observing World Autism Awareness Day today. My autistic friends and my family, however, prefer to observe Autism Acceptance Day .
1) Honor communication. Everyone communicates. That includes autistic people of all abilities. If your autistic loved one struggles with spoken language, the best action you can take in their honor is to help them find a communication system that works for them, whether scripted speech, typing, a symbol-to-speech device or app, sign language, or a letter board.
You also need to understand that an autistic person’s spoken words may not accurately represent what they’re thinking or their intentions. When my son jumps up and sings “The cold never bothered me anyway!” at me, I understand he’s telling me that his current environmental temperature needs to change. If he asks me to repeat phrases after him, he’s asking for reassurance.
Autistic communication isn’t necessarily verbal or language-based; sometimes communication happens through behavior, like a child refusing to get out of bed, or being upset with routines that usually comfort them. It’s important to pay attention to this kind of communication; while it may be a show of independence, behavioral changes can also be an autistic person’s only external sign of illness.
Also honor autistic ability to participate in communication. My son, like many autistic folk, takes a few moments to process spoken words. But he understands most everything people say to him. There is no need to talk to him in a sing-song voice or extra slow. Besides, where is the harm in talking to him like you would any other teenager?
2) Honor competence. Recognize the things your autistic loved can do, and encourage them to do them. Have patience if the learning takes a bit longer than you might expect—autistic kids’ legendary ability to “suddenly” do things like read or ride a bike is often the result of extended practicing, even if, at the time, it seems the practicing wasn’t clicking . So please try to avoid doing things for your kids that they are willing and able to do for themselves. Their independence and sense of self-worth need to trump your momentary convenience.
And don’t forget to presume competence. This doesn’t mean you should assume every non-speaking autistic child is a hidden genius; it means you should always treat every child like a worthy human being. It means, as the autistic writer/self-advocate Julia Bascom tells it, remembering that:
“…talking about someone in front of them, dehumanization, infantilization, segregation—are wrong to do to anybody. There’s not an IQ threshold for being treated with respect, for being included, for being treated like a person.”
3) Honor interests (even if you think they are age inappropriate). So what if your teenager loves watching Curious George, or your eight-year-old only wants to talk about forensic pathology? Seriously, where is the harm in encouraging such interests if they make your autistic child or loved one (or self) happy? As autistic advocate Lydia Wayman writes,
“I am finishing my Master’s degree in English and creative writing, yet I cannot cross a street without help, struggle with independent living skills, and possess a strong affinity for anything Disney or Hello Kitty. This spike-and-valley development may be atypical for most people, but it is a totally typical way for an autistic person to develop and sets the stage in each individual for the culture we build together.”
4) Honor sensory needs. Many autistic people’s senses are more finely tuned than a non-autistic person’s hearing, smell, or sense of touch. Noises that don’t bother you if you aren’t autistic may be unbearable to someone who is. Other people’s perfume may feel like chemical warfare. Being in a crowd may feel like drowning. These perceptions are very real, so consider that if you refuse to acknowledge or accommodate autistic sensory needs, you are essentially torturing a fellow human being.
5) Honor executive functioning difficulties. Autistic people often struggle with organization, sequencing, problem solving, and other executive function (EF) skills. So do everything you can to support your autistic loved ones in this area, by helping to develop supports such as checklists or visual schedules. Further EF accommodations can include eliminating simple barriers in the home, like installing towel hooks instead of towel bars, using open laundry bins instead of ones with lids, or storing dishes in a lower cabinet instead of an upper one. Small changes like these can make big differences in the happiness and functioning abilities of people you care about (or, again, your own self).
6) Honor anxiety. The world is not usually a friendly or accommodating place for autistic people, given some of the topics mentioned above, so it’s no wonder that anxiety is such a common co-occurring diagnosis for autistic people. It’s also one that needs to be taken seriously. Please do what you can to respect an autistic person’s verbal declarations or behavioral indications of anxiety; your consideration can make the difference between an autistic person getting through their day, or having a meltdown. Which brings us to the next topic:
7) Honor routine. Autistic people like my son can find comfort in routine, whether it’s visiting the same restaurant as a family every Saturday, or using the same series of steps and scripted phrases to get dressed in the morning. As far as Leo is concerned, anything different is bad, and a source of stress. Especially surprises.
If things need to change, do what you can to make the transition easier, in the fashion that works best for the autistic person in question. Would a custom “social” story about the transition help? Or would they prefer to ask you, every few minutes, to repeat the same scripted details about the upcoming change? Again, do what you can to accommodate, especially if that autistic someone is dependent on you.
8) Honor autistic role models. There are so many autistic people online being proud and fearless. Learn from them, bow to them. A very incomplete and haphazard list includes Mel Baggs, Ido Kedar, Morénike Oniawu, Paula C. Durbin-Westby, M. Kelter, Julia Bascom, Emma Zurcher-Long, Lynne Soraya, Lydia Brown, Judy Endow, Amy Sequenzia. John Elder Robison, Sparrow Rose Jones, and Chavisory.
9) Honor the undiagnosed autistic people you already know. We know that autistic people have always been here, that most of the increase in autism rates has to do with changing diagnostic criteria to include more people, and that women especially often go undiagnosed. This means that the current CDC autism estimate of 1 in 68 people is probably too low. This means you likely have more autistic people in your life than you officially know you do.
So try to show respect and kindness rather than irritation towards people who, for example, you’d otherwise think are one-upping you when you tell them about your experiences and they reciprocate by telling you about their own related experiences—as such reciprocation is a very autistic way to empathize. Smile and nod and try to honestly listen to the little girl who wants to tell you about every possible gem category and the subtle differences between them. Kindness and courtesy rarely cause harm, after all.
10) Honor autistic people as their own unique selves. Do not disrespect them by trying to view them as flawed, or potential, non-autistic people. Do not be surprised by or resentful of autistic adults who have gained more skills than your autistic child currently possesses. Do not talk about autistic people having less mature minds in more mature bodies. Do not try to cajole them into doing things that cause them distress, like going to loud parties or talking about whether there is an autism autism epidemic (again, autistic people have always been part of human society). Just show some respect by trying not to impose your non-autistic sensibilities onto them.
- “How You Can Honor Autism Acceptance Day” by Shannon Des Roches Rosa
