"Feel like making a deal with The Devil?" @ascenderum-cavea - Tumblr Blog

Posts

kristina100000

weavethewild-deactivated2022060

All of us on tumblr beating back the horror of being known professionally with sticks

back-that-sass-up

not to be racist but i can’t tell customers apart

raepritewrites

The truth hurts so much, but it cannot be denied - 2 minutes after you leave my line of sight, I have no idea who you are, you’re just another arm I’ve stabbed with a needle

back-that-sass-up

god I hope you work in the medical field

fuckyeahanarchistposters

“Safe Abortion for All.

No Compromise - No Apology”

Print by Bum Lung Press

rasputinaillyanna

Druig and Makkari in Eternals (2021)

wizardonline

if you are distressed about not receiving a response from someone you'd like to be actively talking to, you have to take a moment. step back from the conversation, put yourself in their shoes. perhaps they're busy with something right now. you have to consider the possibility that maybe they hanging upside down by their ankle. everybody has their own schedule, and sometimes people spend time away from their phone or computer because they are currently suspended from a tree branch by a rope tied around their ankle that they unnoticingly stepped in because it was concealed by a pile of leafs. it's not that they don't want to respond; imagine that they can see their phone screen on the ground below but it's a good few inches out of reach and even if they bounce and flail on the branch their fingertips just can't touch it. sometimes life gets in the way

cadhalash

tumblr user wrenhavenriver this is the best idea I've ever heard

montgomerydadbodyscotty

Kirk: Do you want the tea?

Spock: For the last time, it is called a status report.

Kirk:

Kirk: Do you want the tea or not?

sickhumor

Dad of 4 Girls Tweets Hilarious Conversations With His Daughters

whitepeopletwitter

athelind

walkingslowlytofastmusic

The Dutch are making moves to make some changes after this outbreak

oceaneyes1834-deactivated202312

Can someone please explain to me what evaporated milk is? Wouldn’t that just be gas by definition? I live in constant fear

buthowaminotdeadyet-deactivated

no no it’s what left behind after the milk has been evaporated cuz only the water goes, not the other stuff

oceaneyes1834-deactivated202312

THERE’S WATER IN MILK?

buthowaminotdeadyet-deactivated

WHAT DID YOU THINK THE LIQUID WAS?

oceaneyes1834-deactivated202312

IDK ISNT MILK ITS OWN LIQUID?

buthowaminotdeadyet-deactivated

IT’S MILK-STUFF MIXED WITH WATER

oceaneyes1834-deactivated202312

MILK STUFF? DOESNT IT JUST COME FROM THE COW’S TIT?

buthowaminotdeadyet-deactivated

ITS LIKE TIT JUICE, THERE IS WATER IN JUICE AND THERE IS WATER IN MILK

derinthescarletpescatarian

It’s fat droplets suspended in water, with some nutrients and soforth dissolved in it. You know, like ranch dressing.

Evaporated milk is just dehydrated milk.

nonbineraryitinerary

Obsessed with the user who assumed milk was its own element on the periodic table

oceaneyes1834-deactivated202312

As op I felt like I had to make this

Milk, the forbidden 119th element

jasonfunderberkerthefrogexists

the only question left is if it’s a metal, non-metal, or metalloid.

derinthescarletpescatarian

OP seems to have classified it as a special case of halfnium, reclassified as a lanthanide. This has fascinating implications for electron orbital geometry.

Anyway it’s a rare earth metal apparently.

oceaneyes1834-deactivated202312

Yes I definitely classified it intentionally and knew exactly what I was doing when I put it with the lanthanides because I am never wrong

MILK IS A RARE EARTH METAL

derinthescarletpescatarian

I thought so, I took one look at your classification and immediately thought “this is definitely someone with a deep understanding of how the periodic table works”

I’m glad that we have reached a consensus on the expected elemental properties of milk

oceaneyes1834-deactivated202312

I’d really like to know what @derinthescarletpescatarian’s thoughts are on milk’s electron orbital geometry

derinthescarletpescatarian

That would involve writing a crash course in how suborbitals work on a post about whether water (the primary ingredient in milk) is in milk and even for tumblr that’s going a bit far

jesin00

no, it is absolutely not going too far

derinthescarletpescatarian

You guys always complain that you don’t get to learn stuff in normal ways and then you come asking for this

boopboopboopbadoop

MILK IS SEVERAL COMPOUNDS PLEASE YALL ARE KILLING ME OVER HERE

We have a container of dry milk because in addition to a little fat and sugars, it contains proteins, which settle into the pores of nitrocellulose membranes, making sure analytical proteins (specific antibodies) don’t get trapped. We could just use casein (one of the proteins in milk), but milk is much cheaper and can also be found at Walmart.

derinthescarletpescatarian

No milk is a lanthanide keep up

flipocrite

lanthanide?

I think you mean lactanide

derinthescarletpescatarian

I will put lego in all of your shoes

vel0000vet

A cube of milk with 3 inches of edge length can blow up the galaxy.

derinthescarletpescatarian

Our galaxy is actually the result of such an explosion, that’s why we call it the Milky Way

zoroshonkingbazonkadonkas

this is a unique sort of thread in which you’ll find two types of people exclusively: nerds and dumbasses

e-the-village-cryptid

Enter OCEAN EYES and NOT DEAD YET, two of the king’s most quarrelsome stablehands.

OCEAN May one explain what powdered milk doth be? Is it not gas? I live in constant fear.

NOT DEAD The water flees to air, the rest is left. The dry debris then forms the powdered milk.

OCEAN Thou sayest water doth reside in milk?

NOT DEAD Pray tell what thou believ’st the liquid is?

OCEAN Is milk not one pure substance in itself?

NOT DEAD No; ‘tis only milk-stuff mixed with water.

OCEAN Yet milk appears from living cows’ own tits!

NOT DEAD ‘Tis juice from tits, yet water still it holds. If water be in juice, then ‘tis in milk.

Enter DERIN, the scarlet pescatarian.

DERIN ‘Tis drops of fat afloat in water, As if ‘twas dressing for thy greens. With water gone, the powdered milk remains.

A NOTE attached to an arrow, written by BURNING BRAND, flies through the window.

BURNING BRAND’S NOTE Obsessed with he who foolishly believ’d That milk is element of chemistry.

The NOTE crumbles to ash. BURNING BRAND is not seen again.

OCEAN As he who instigated such a fight, I felt that this creation was my duty.

OCEAN unrolls a scroll of parchment with a flourish.

OCEAN Behold, ‘tis milk, one hundred and nineteen.

Enter JASON FUNDER BERKER, a frog.

JASON FUNDER BERKER And yet the burning question still remains: ‘Tis metal, not, or somewhere in between?

JASON FUNDER BERKER does not wait to hear the answer, and exits.

DERIN A lanthinide! A special case, I see. How fascinating, geometrically. But let us leave atomic musings be. For milk is a rare metal of our Earth.

OCEAN Of course it is, for I am always right. My choices are, of course, deliberate.

DERIN I do not doubt thou speakest truth, my lord Thy brilliant mind is utterly unmatch’d. It seems that an agreement has been reach’d.

OCEAN Of course; however, in sincerity I wish to know thy scholar-driven thoughts.

DERIN I fear ‘twould be beyond thy comprehension. To teach to thee would take this much too far.

Exit OCEAN, in a huff. Enter JESIN, BOOP BOOP, FLIPOCRITE, VELVET, and LOVELY DREAMS, curious onlookers attracted to the scene.

JESIN Do teach us, it would not take this too far!

DERIN Ye all complain of learning strangely, Then ask me baiting questions such as this!

BOOP BOOP Thy gross ineptitude shall be my death! Milk is formed of small component parts. The fat, the sugars, proteins all combine They seep through pores of membranes in this drink Unpleasant compounds all are filter’d out. All this obtained for small amounts of coin.

DERIN No, milk is lanthanide, pray keep the pace.

FLIPOCRITE The word thou mean’st is lactanide, I think.

DERIN May sharpened pain-shaped stones fill up thy shoes So that thou never know’st a moment’s peace.

VELVET A cube of milk, three inches on each side Could blow up the entire galaxy.

DERIN Our galaxy was formed in such a fashion. ‘Tis why we gave it name of “Milky Way.”

LOVELY DREAMS Thus ends our entertainment for the night Here fools and pompous scholars come to fight.

Exuent, pursued by a cow.

(Shakespearean adaptation format inspired by @mortimermcmirestinks in this post)

alexaloraetheris

Youpeople have no right to be this funny on my dash so early in the morning

brielarsonist

brielarson: Getting into character: Tapestry edition

blackbackedjackal

Why do wild opossums look like this?

And ‘pet’ opossums look like this?

theblazeofmemory

It’s because people don’t know how to keep them. Wild opossums have incredibly varied diets with everything from mice to bugs to mushrooms to berries, and they’re always on the move.

When people have a “pet” opossum, they have to have picked it up as a baby and habituated it to humans, and now they treat it like a house pet. Many of them are fed trash diets of dog food, raw meat scraps, and processed meat like hot dogs or hamburger. The lack of calcium at an early age leads to metabolic bone disease, which bows the long bones of the limbs and weakens their bodies. So they can’t climb anymore and don’t walk or run nearly as much. Combined with a poor diet, they gain weight quickly.

Many ambassador animals in rehab centers and zoos can develop the same problem. Especially rehab centers, a lot of captive Virginia Opossums are surrenders from people who realized keeping them is illegal, but the MBD has already started. Even with a better diet, they can become overweight really easily. It was such a struggle to keep the opossum I worked with at a healthy weight because something as simple as too much fruit in her diet would start pushing her weight up again. Even then, I don’t think we ever managed to get her to a “normal” range.

They look buggy eyed because what looks like the “whites” in that last picture is a sign of fat deposits in their face and around their eyes.

theconcealedweapon

official-lucifers-child

hit list

funnytwittertweets

invaderxan

Tumblr burned down years ago, and now a tranquil meadow has grown from its ruins

tikkunolamorgtfo

Tumblr is that barren pasture in Costa Rica that was purposely filled with 12,000 metric tons of orange peels by conservation researchers. Initially, the orange peels decomposed into “sludgy stuff filled with fly larvae.” This led to accusations that the juice company providing the peels were “defiling the land,” and thus, the site was ultimately abandoned. But when researchers went back about 15 years later, they discovered “the arid landscape had been unrecognisably transformed into a dense, vine-filled jungle... as for how the orange peels were able to regenerate the site so effectively in just 16 years of isolation, nobody's entirely sure.”

And that, my friends, is Tumblr.

(via @lastvalyrian)

Top 10 BtVS dynamics (as voted by my followers): #1 — Buffy Summers & Rupert Giles ↳ Your affection for your charge has rendered you incapable of clear and impartial judgment. You have a father’s love for the child.

blackness-by-your-side

The sign of high quality is the fact the book was banned by the government. Trash literature NEVER EVER had any troubles with the law.

cuntybearjamboree

FARENHEIT 451 IS ON THE BANNED BOOKS LIST??? IT’S LITERALLY ABOUT THE SOCIETAL DANGERS OF BANNING/OUTLAWING/BURNING BOOKS ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

dancing-coyote

That’s the reason it’s on the bloody list.

BECAUSE IT’S ABOUT HOW BANNING AND BURNING BOOKS IS WRONG.

unlimitedgamesbutnogames

HERE’S ALL THE PDF VERSIONS I COULD FIND SINCE WE’RE ALL IN QUARANTINE AND WE CAN’T PHYSICALLY GET THE BOOKS WE DON’T HAVE

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

The Autobiography of Malcolm X

Beloved

Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee (this was the only free version I could find, and it’s a downloadable thing, so do so with caution)

The Call of the Wild

Catch-22 (it was either this version or one where the entire thing was in comic sans font)

The Catcher in the Rye

Fahrenheit 451

For Whom the Bell Tolls

Gone With the Wind

The Grapes of Wrath

The Great Gatsby

Howl

In Cold Blood

Invisible Man

The Jungle (personally I don’t like this formatting, but the site doesn’t look sketchy so…) - there’s also this which is the proper book format in a pdf, but it’s directly photocopied so it might be hard to read some of the print

Leaves of Grass

Moby Dick

Native Son

Our Bodies, Ourselves (we learned about this one in APUSH!)

The Red Badge of Courage

The Scarlet Letter

COULD NOT FIND Sexual Behavior in the Human Male (the ebook is 47 fucking dollars??? and i can’t even find sketchy websites that’ll let me download a pdf. if anyone manages to find a link, lmk please)

Stranger in a Strange Land

A Streetcar Named Desire

Their Eyes Were Watching God

To Kill a Mockingbird

Uncle Tom’s Cabin

Where the Wild Things Are (this is a slideshow!!!! how fun)

COULD NOT FIND The Words of Cesar Chavez (however I did manage to download the first 71 pages of the book from EBSCO and I put it here but I couldn’t get the rest. sorry y’all)