It is 16:07 in the United Kingdom and at this very moment, I am sitting in London Heathrow International Airport awaiting my flight back to the United States. My original return flight took off at 16:00 today and no, I am not on it. I wish I could say it is because in the final hour I discarded my inhibitions and made this admirable, serendipitous decision to remain in London until further notice. Unfortuantely, that is not quite the case. I am here in Terminal 3, killing time because I missed my flight by a mere, yet crucial five minutes and had to pay $272.00 to switch to the next flight (apparently responsibility is not what I took away from my semester abroad). While I am bitter about the fee I had to pay to get a new flight and the time I feel like I have wasted, I am most troubled by the fact that I nearly missed my flight on purpose in order to extend my stay. Now, if I were to start believing in the existence of destiny, fate, or any of that nonsense, I might have this looming thought that tells me I should not be returning at all and I should have, in fact, listened to my first instincts.
As I am sitting here in the terminal’s food court, the most unglamourous of places, I am fighting to push away these regretful, ‘what-if’ thoughts because frankly, my time in London was anything but regretful. Instead, I am going to take it as an opportunity to continue reflecting on the past three months before I officially depart for the United States. I am hesitant to think this present, stressful situation is irrelevant to my journey in any way.
Leaving London and returning to my ‘regular’ life, one that, on the surface, appears to be just like that of every other college student, is a difficult thing to swallow. But, as I observe the countless number of people passing through this terminal, I realize that nothing in this life is truly permanent, neither the good nor the bad. Time passes, oftentimes inconceivably fast and sometimes painfully slow but, within this physical timeline of life, the undulations, the inconsistencies, those are the things that can be held responsible for the collective intrigue. Maybe every experience is just an airport terminal, a segue to the next block of time, that, if allowed, can dictate the shape of the remainder of our individual timelines.
I will now return back to my "home" in Connecticut, somewhat anxious, but aware that it is only temporary. It is what I do, how I think, while I am back at home that will be the ultimate factor in determining where I will go next. And that, that unresolved facet of my future, is entirely more important and exciting than stability.