Having PTSD is like fighting a battle every single day.
Itās people treating you like you should beĀ āover itā and youāre like no
Itās people looking at you and treating you like youāreĀ ābrokenā.
Itās believing that youāre broken, or dead inside sometimes.
Itās feeling a horrible vile poison rotting you from insideĀ
And not being able to make it stopā¦
Itās feeling like youāre alone in a room of people.Ā
Itās disassociating, and nightmares that lead to screaming in your sleep
Itās flashbacks, itās breaking down, itās not remembering enoughĀ
And yet remembering too much.
Itās intrusive memories, itās avoiding places, itās life changing
Itās painful. Itās something you live with every day.
Some days Iām better than others.
Some days I think Iām fine, and then BAM, triggers.Ā
Triggers cause the disassociation, flashbacks, intrusive memories, crying spells, and far more.Ā
Triggers and symptoms vary by person.Ā
Itās people making fun of triggers because some kids use it to mean they donāt like something, when the word has a damn meaning to me.
It impacts your life pretty severely sometimes.
And because of stigma, itās often something you try to keep a secret.
So you tell few people, and you go through the crowds in public
You get triggered maybe, you react, and then you feel embarrassed.Ā
So you try to escape and feel you have dignity
You try to prevent everyone from knowing.
You fear they all see through it, that they all know.Ā
And yet youāre angry because nobody knows how you feel
And nobody wants to listen. Or you feel they donāt at least.
Itās too dark. Itās too hard for them to hear. I know itās dark and hurts
I know because I live with it every.single.day.Ā
Thatās what PTSD is like for me.Ā
romaincrisis
dededos
blakekathryn
germansingergirl
turnnoffyourmind
andulkaphoto
