Ask Orgasimus

Name's Orgasimus. No, I'm not a prime. No, I don't tend to attend orgies. If you have something worthwhile to ask, then ask it; otherwise, leave me be?This is a Transformers rp blog, based in a Prime-verse. Orgasimus is a very, very old mech who lives in the middle of nowhere by himself, so he might be a bit slow to warm up to you. Give him some time.

[ask-orgasimus]

<<If you would not mind, I would be most appreciative if you could give me the appropriate com frequency. It will be a welcome change of pace from re-modifying sections of my base again.>>

[imadoctor-notasoldier]

<<Not at all.>>

[thelibrarianpax]

(it had to be a bee) Orgasimus hummed as he walked through the public section of the Halls, heading to the architectural history section. He'd heard some rumors about Iacon's original construction and wished to fact check them. The buzzing, though. He could swear that sounded like a failing circuit, which he couldn't just leave unattended, especially not here....

“Excuse me,” he hummed, beating his little wings as fast as he could to keep up with the titan that was thousands of times his size. “Excuse me, can you take me to the exit? I would very much like to be outside.”Barely manages to land on the mech’s hip…

[ask-orgasimus]

The mech freezes, minute surface sensors registering something small, organic and highly energetic on his person. Memories of a war where a weapon of similar description had eaten through his armor boil to the surface as he slowly leans over to look at the tiny thing on his thigh.

“…you are that buzzing sound, are you? That better not be how you lure in your victims…”

[thelibrarianpax]

Patters around, interested in this foreign landscape and anxious for it to start moving again towards the exit. “Oof!” He fell into a seam. …Don’t worry, he crawls out again a moment later and flexes his wings. Buzz. “Please. Outside…it’s cold here.”

[ask-orgasimus]

He’s just going to stare for a few nanoklicks as he runs every scan he’s capable of on the thing, as well as attempting to analyze that buzzing sound it’s emitting and the way it’s moving. After determining that it has no acids, no combustibles, and no micro plasma devices, he relaxes slightly, letting the air out of his vents that he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding. That nice, warm air.

“…is that a language!? Awfully small to be a sentient. Maybe someone has been experimenting with organic microprocessors and it escaped?”

[thelibrarianpax]

Shall begin his arduous journey upwards, but like most bees he ends up traveling upwards in a zigzag line. He mutters in his little bee language all the way. To the outsider it sounds like a lot of…nothing. “You are very big. Very warm too. I do like this. I think you might be saying something, but I do not understand…I do not understand a lot of things right now.” Buzz. Buzz.

[ask-orgasimus]

There is a pattern to its buzzing, but his translation program couldn’t make sense of it. Something to do with its movements, perhaps. He’d let his processor try to sort it out and... it is rapidly climbing his exterior. If it goes too high it’ll end up getting near his engine vents, and likely fry. He’ll have to keep an eye on it.

“Perhaps I can find you somewhere in the bio-experimentation archive, little one. Maybe I can find Pax and get him to help me search.”

He sets of at a slow pace, being sure to keep an optic on the little creature.

[thelibrarianpax]

(it had to be a bee) Orgasimus hummed as he walked through the public section of the Halls, heading to the architectural history section. He'd heard some rumors about Iacon's original construction and wished to fact check them. The buzzing, though. He could swear that sounded like a failing circuit, which he couldn't just leave unattended, especially not here....

“Excuse me,” he hummed, beating his little wings as fast as he could to keep up with the titan that was thousands of times his size. “Excuse me, can you take me to the exit? I would very much like to be outside.”Barely manages to land on the mech’s hip…

[ask-orgasimus]

The mech freezes, minute surface sensors registering something small, organic and highly energetic on his person. Memories of a war where a weapon of similar description had eaten through his armor boil to the surface as he slowly leans over to look at the tiny thing on his thigh.

“…you are that buzzing sound, are you? That better not be how you lure in your victims…”

[thelibrarianpax]

Patters around, interested in this foreign landscape and anxious for it to start moving again towards the exit. “Oof!” He fell into a seam. …Don’t worry, he crawls out again a moment later and flexes his wings. Buzz. “Please. Outside…it’s cold here.”

[ask-orgasimus]

He’s just going to stare for a few nanoklicks as he runs every scan he’s capable of on the thing, as well as attempting to analyze that buzzing sound it’s emitting and the way it’s moving. After determining that it has no acids, no combustibles, and no micro plasma devices, he relaxes slightly, letting the air out of his vents that he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding. That nice, warm air.

“...is that a language!? Awfully small to be a sentient. Maybe someone has been experimenting with organic microprocessors and it escaped?”

[thelibrarianpax]

(it had to be a bee) Orgasimus hummed as he walked through the public section of the Halls, heading to the architectural history section. He'd heard some rumors about Iacon's original construction and wished to fact check them. The buzzing, though. He could swear that sounded like a failing circuit, which he couldn't just leave unattended, especially not here....

“Excuse me,” he hummed, beating his little wings as fast as he could to keep up with the titan that was thousands of times his size. “Excuse me, can you take me to the exit? I would very much like to be outside.”Barely manages to land on the mech’s hip…

[ask-orgasimus]

The mech freezes, minute surface sensors registering something small, organic and highly energetic on his person. Memories of a war where a weapon of similar description had eaten through his armor boil to the surface as he slowly leans over to look at the tiny thing on his thigh.

“...you are that buzzing sound, are you? That better not be how you lure in your victims...”

[alpha113nredshirteradicon]

I’m doing well!

e.e

don’t give me any viruses.

[ask-orgasimus]

<<I’m certain I don’t know what you mean.>>

*uploads a virus to your coms that plays Carmelladansen whenever an incoming call comes in*

[alpha113nredshirteradicon]

ORGASIMUS!!!!!!

D:<

[ask-orgasimus]

<<Do you have an issue?>>

<<For the record, I made it the nice piano version of Carmelladansen.>>

[ask-orgasimus]

<<Thank you for your offer. I will be as diligent as I am able.>>

<<On a different note, would you happen to know how your civil engineers are faring in the reconstruction of essential infrastructure?>>

[imadoctor-notasoldier]

<<As far as I know, things are going as quickly as they can. Though, I’m sure Bulkhead wouldn’t turn down extra help. Rumble’s certainly given his fair share of assistance.>>

[ask-orgasimus]

<<If you would not mind, I would be most appreciative if you could give me the appropriate com frequency. It will be a welcome change of pace from re-modifying sections of my base again.>>

[alpha113nredshirteradicon]

I’m doing well!

e.e

don’t give me any viruses.

[ask-orgasimus]

<<I’m certain I don’t know what you mean.>>

*uploads a virus to your coms that plays Carmelladansen whenever an incoming call comes in*

[ask-orgasimus]

<<I do have triage training, but I simply never had time for more than that while I was interested in the field. I have always been an engineer at heart, and working on the vital mechanisms of cities has always struck a cord in me. I would not mind receiving additional training, though.>>

[imadoctor-notasoldier]

<<I can offer you minimal training between my time with Bumblebee and Frenzy and I’m sure any of the full-time medical staff would be happy to instruct you as well. We’re currently looking into setting up the hospital for teaching, but that will require time and staff we don’t yet have.>>

[ask-orgasimus]

<<Thank you for your offer. I will be as diligent as I am able.>>

<<On a different note, would you happen to know how your civil engineers are faring in the reconstruction of essential infrastructure?>>

[ask-orgasimus]

<<No debt is owed. It was an emergency situation, it would have been wrong to not offer assistance. Especially since your Cybertron is very similar to my own.>>

<<I can see the logic of that, I suppose, but I would have preferred to have been able to do more.>>

[imadoctor-notasoldier]

<<Ah, yes, well, if you ever require assistance of your own, you only have to ask.>>

<<Have you ever considered undergoing medical training?>>

[ask-orgasimus]

<<I do have triage training, but I simply never had time for more than that while I was interested in the field. I have always been an engineer at heart, and working on the vital mechanisms of cities has always struck a cord in me. I would not mind receiving additional training, though.>>

[ask-orgasimus]

<<It is medical equipment, and so should be where it is most needed. Keep it, distribute it as necessary, I do not require it returned.>>

<<I am glad to hear that they are recovering. I wish I could have been of greater assistance, but my knowledge of infections is limited. My primary profession was as a civil engineer. Most of my medical training was resultant from that and my time as a combatant.>>

[imadoctor-notasoldier]

<<Then I suppose we owe you something of a debt.>>

<<Having someone around to perform the easier tasks saves up time and energy for the bots that do know how to deal with the more complicated things. You helped far more than you may think.>>

[ask-orgasimus]

<<No debt is owed. It was an emergency situation, it would have been wrong to not offer assistance. Especially since your Cybertron is very similar to my own.>>

<<I can see the logic of that, I suppose, but I would have preferred to have been able to do more.>>

[imadoctor-notasoldier]

ask orgasimus replied to your post: imadoctor-notasoldier: Like for a sta…

<<This is Ratchet. I wanted to ask how you’d like the equipment you lent us to be returned.>>

<<The majority of patients infected have been discharged from the hospital and appear to be showing no signs of further infection. I believe we can manage things from here. Your help at the time, however, was invaluable.>>

[ask-orgasimus]

<<It is medical equipment, and so should be where it is most needed. Keep it, distribute it as necessary, I do not require it returned.>>

<<I am glad to hear that they are recovering. I wish I could have been of greater assistance, but my knowledge of infections is limited. My primary profession was as a civil engineer. Most of my medical training was resultant from that and my time as a combatant.>>

[thelibrarianpax]

Do bumblebees go mad?

[ask-orgasimus]

“Their brain chemistry can be altered in such a way so as to make their behavior abnormal, so I suppose the answer would be yes, Pax.”

[thelibrarianpax]

Oh…do you think they can get better? Is there anything I can do to help it?

[ask-orgasimus]

“When a bee falls ill, they are often culled by their hive in order to prevent a spread of infection. If you’ve found one that is genuinely ill, there is likely little that can be done for it. They are unfortunately fragile creatures. If it is merely tired, however, you may be able to help it on its way by feeding it a mixture of sucrose and water.”

[thelibrarianpax]

Looks down at it again and gently nudges its tired little wings with the tip of his index finger. “I have put a few droplets of it on my hand,” he answers morosely, pointing at the wet spot not too far away from the bee. “It keeps traveling in circles…“ “Would it be right…to …” the librarian sucks in a haggard vent, “to kill it?”

[ask-orgasimus]

“...that is not for me to say. If you truly believe it to be suffering, then perhaps. Otherwise, I do not believe it is ever right to kill unless survival is on the line. I’m afraid it is an issue of morality, and therefore something no one can advise you on. That decision is yours, Pax. Though perhaps you should bring some of the liquid right next to it, just in case it simply can’t find it.”

[thelibrarianpax]

Do bumblebees go mad?

[ask-orgasimus]

“Their brain chemistry can be altered in such a way so as to make their behavior abnormal, so I suppose the answer would be yes, Pax.”

[thelibrarianpax]

Oh…do you think they can get better? Is there anything I can do to help it?

[ask-orgasimus]

“When a bee falls ill, they are often culled by their hive in order to prevent a spread of infection. If you’ve found one that is genuinely ill, there is likely little that can be done for it. They are unfortunately fragile creatures. If it is merely tired, however, you may be able to help it on its way by feeding it a mixture of sucrose and water.”

[thelibrarianpax]

Do bumblebees go mad?

[ask-orgasimus]

“Their brain chemistry can be altered in such a way so as to make their behavior abnormal, so I suppose the answer would be yes, Pax.”

[ask-smokescreen]

Whatever virus you've contracted, keep it away from me.

☆〜（ゝ。∂）

[ask-orgasimus]

“Oh no you don’t…” Firewalls slam down, choking the rate at which data can pass through so it can be analyzed and the virus eliminated. “I’m not nearly old enough to let that get me, youngling.”

[ask-smokescreen]

(｡-_-｡) ℹ️ != 👶

[ask-orgasimus]

“Compared to me you’re quite young, little one. You should probably see a medic about this issue of yours.”

[ask-smokescreen]

Whatever virus you've contracted, keep it away from me.

☆〜（ゝ。∂）

[ask-orgasimus]

“Oh no you don’t...” Firewalls slam down, choking the rate at which data can pass through so it can be analyzed and the virus eliminated. “I’m not nearly old enough to let that get me, youngling.”

[ask-orgasimus]

Get to Know Me Uncomfortably Well (modified for TF)

1. What is your name?

2. How old are you?

3. Where are you from?

4. Who is your patron Prime?

5. What is your favorite color?

6. What's your lucky number?

7. Do you have any pets?

8. Where are you from?

9. How tall are you?

10. What frame class are you?

11. How many paint jobs have you gone through?

12. What was your last dream about?

13. What are you good at doing?

14. Do you have any unusual abilities?

15. Favorite song?

16. Favorite movie?

17. What would your ideal partner be like?

18. Do you want to serve as a mentor?

19. How do you feel about spark bonding?

20. Are you religious?

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

24. Which is better, an oil bath or a hot waxing?

25. What color is your paint right now?

26. What are you most known for?

27. What would you actually prefer to be most known for?

28. What type of music do you like?

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

30. Do you use pillows as a borrowed Earth convenience?

31. What position do you usually recharge in?

32. How big is your living space?

33. How often do you have to refuel?

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

35. Have you ever tried archery?

36. Favorite clean word?

37. Favorite swear word?

38. What's the longest you've ever gone without recharge?

39. Do you have any scars?

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

41. Are you a good liar?

42. Are you a good judge of character?

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

44. Do you have a strong accent?

45. What is your favorite accent?

46. What is your personality type?

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

48. Can you curl your glossa?

49. How were you created?

50. Left or right handed?

51. Are you scared of spiderbots?

52. Favorite way to have your energon?

53. What's your alt mode?

54. Are you a clean or messy bot?

55. Most used phrase?

56. Most used word?

57. Are you a stickler for keeping up outward appearances?

58. Do you have much of an ego?

59. Are your dentae jagged or flat?

60. Do you talk to yourself?

61. Do you sing to yourself?

62. Are you a good singer?

63. Biggest fear?

64. Are you a gossip?

65. Best dramatic holovid you've seen?

66. Do you have light, average, or heavy armor?

67. Can you name every major city-state on Cybertron?

68. Current work duties?

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

70. Have you ever considered an aquatic alt mode?

71. What makes you nervous?

72. Are you scared of the dark?

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

74. Are you ticklish?

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

77. Did you ever defy any rules meant to safeguard newbuilds?

78. Have you ever done questionable substances?

79. Who was your first real crush?

80. How many modifications do you have?

81. What is your idle fidget?

82. How fast can you type?

83. What's your top speed?

84. Do you have biolights, and if so, in what color?

85. What color are your optics?

86. Do you have any allergies?

87. Do you keep a journal?

88. Do you know Primal Vernacular?

89. Do you like your age?

90. What makes you angry?

91. Do you like your designation?

92. Have you ever been to a planet other than Earth or Cybertron?

93. Would you mentor a newbuild (or raise a sparkling)?

94. What are your strengths?

95. What are your weaknesses?

96. How do you feel about Minicons?

97. Have you suffered any unusually notable injuries?

98. Do you collect anything?

99. Horizontal or tilted berth?

100. What do you keep in your quarters?