Ask Fingon

I got no boyfriend I got no lover

I got no family I got no brother

My mind is sad, my heart is sick

My lips are dry and so’s my dick

I want a hug if that’s alright

Fun the sunshine fuck the light

I’m sexy as fuck, I know that’s true

But I’m all alone, what shall I do

I will pay you to stop

But you are a warm kitty! Like super warm. Like combustible. 😻😻😻😻

I am warm and good to cuddle. But SOME PEOPLE dont APPRECIATE that.

who THE FUCK doesn’t appreciate my kitty? I’ll CHOP OFF their fingers with a rusty handaxe

MAEDHROS DIDN’T APPRECIATE ME

hOW DARE HE, DO YOU WANT HIS HAND? I’LL GET YOU HIS OTHER HAND, KITTY. FOR YOUR COLLECTION

No! Don’t maim him! Just…bring him to me. I miss him. We can both enjoy him! You into threesomes?

I’m afraid that’s not going to happen unless the two of you want to lose appendages as well.

Thanks Fingon. But don’t worry, neither of them know where we live.

Ya, well, who said we were on the defensive

Darling I think it’s a little late for a battle. I’d rather just sit back and drink some earl grey.

Well I suppose if you insist, dear, whatever makes you comfortable <3

Still ready to throw hands, I see - I APPROVE! You have my bow

All day, every day! Thank you, good anon!

#anon

But you are a warm kitty! Like super warm. Like combustible. 😻😻😻😻

I am warm and good to cuddle. But SOME PEOPLE dont APPRECIATE that.

who THE FUCK doesn’t appreciate my kitty? I’ll CHOP OFF their fingers with a rusty handaxe

MAEDHROS DIDN’T APPRECIATE ME

hOW DARE HE, DO YOU WANT HIS HAND? I’LL GET YOU HIS OTHER HAND, KITTY. FOR YOUR COLLECTION

No! Don’t maim him! Just…bring him to me. I miss him. We can both enjoy him! You into threesomes?

I’m afraid that’s not going to happen unless the two of you want to lose appendages as well.

Thanks Fingon. But don’t worry, neither of them know where we live.

#that's actual footage of tyelko btw

Ya, well, who said we were on the defensive

But you are a warm kitty! Like super warm. Like combustible. 😻😻😻😻

I am warm and good to cuddle. But SOME PEOPLE dont APPRECIATE that.

who THE FUCK doesn’t appreciate my kitty? I’ll CHOP OFF their fingers with a rusty handaxe

MAEDHROS DIDN’T APPRECIATE ME

hOW DARE HE, DO YOU WANT HIS HAND? I’LL GET YOU HIS OTHER HAND, KITTY. FOR YOUR COLLECTION

No! Don’t maim him! Just…bring him to me. I miss him. We can both enjoy him! You into threesomes?

I'm afraid that's not going to happen unless the two of you want to lose appendages as well.

idk why there’s so many haters out there, i think they’re just jealous because i’ve got so much swag

#nelyo how do you cope #I want to die

You wouldn’t know swag if it was projectile-launched straight into your face, oh my stars

Are you adopted?

piece of shit greyface, what the fuck kind of question is that? are you hinting something, uh? you wanna catch these hands?! MY BOYFRIEND WILL BOIL YOU ALIVE

Unfortunately, he spawned from my loins.

Elrohir, don’t make me get the soap.

Eat shit and die crying, old man

I fucked your mother

Good for you, I guess??? What kinda shitty statement is that, we are RELATED for a REASON

Elrond! Elrohir! Stop this! I raised you better than this!

What do you want, grandpa? He says he fucked my mother, i just told him i know??

Just stop fighting and misbehaving. And PLEASE break up with Sauron. He’s no good for you. You know your father and I fought WARS to keep that bastard in check, and now you’re off fucking him? Really?

im worth it

I was going to ask if you were seeing this, @saurons-advice, but you’re already here to watch the elf fight.

There’s so much sexual tension here. I love it.

You repulse me more every breath you take.

I just think you two would be less angry at each other if you had some intimate relations! It works well, trust me.

Please, deepthroat a sword and impale yourself like the cockroach you are.

You’d be less cranky if you engaged in some good father-son bonding!

…I don’t want to know the fuck you did with your daughter. Show yourself down a volcano

I kept my beautiful daughter in check, that’s what

Oh Eru you fucked her, didn’t you? Oh shit oh fuck @saurons-advice can we burn him?

Yeah, so what if I did? No one else is worthy of indulging in her beauty.

@earendilionimladris @ask-maedhros @askfingonthevaliant yo can we kill thingol?

… Yule came early, here’s a new longbow and arrows.

Let’s HUNT a BITCH

Did you know, we have conveniently run out of healing supplies, and thus I can no longer save anyone from any mysterious arrow wounds. And all resources that come in must be prioritised for the Imladrim, so I especially cannot responsibly heal a foreign king.

Do we have sufficient supplies of oil to burn that mintsucker gingerfucker feetlicker poor excuse of an elf?

Can you guys just chill?????

@ask-thingol Didn’t you ban the use of my language and send your daughter’s boyfriend on a suicide mission and murder refugees? What is this “chill” you speak of? Pot? Kettle?

Does Maedhros actually spank you

I will neither confirm or deny. ;)

#anon

Are you adopted?

piece of shit greyface, what the fuck kind of question is that? are you hinting something, uh? you wanna catch these hands?! MY BOYFRIEND WILL BOIL YOU ALIVE

Unfortunately, he spawned from my loins.

Elrohir, don’t make me get the soap.

Eat shit and die crying, old man

I fucked your mother

Good for you, I guess??? What kinda shitty statement is that, we are RELATED for a REASON

Elrond! Elrohir! Stop this! I raised you better than this!

What do you want, grandpa? He says he fucked my mother, i just told him i know??

im worth it

I was going to ask if you were seeing this, @saurons-advice, but you’re already here to watch the elf fight.

There’s so much sexual tension here. I love it.

You repulse me more every breath you take.

I just think you two would be less angry at each other if you had some intimate relations! It works well, trust me.

Please, deepthroat a sword and impale yourself like the cockroach you are.

You’d be less cranky if you engaged in some good father-son bonding!

…I don’t want to know the fuck you did with your daughter. Show yourself down a volcano

I kept my beautiful daughter in check, that’s what

Oh Eru you fucked her, didn’t you? Oh shit oh fuck @saurons-advice can we burn him?

Yeah, so what if I did? No one else is worthy of indulging in her beauty.

@earendilionimladris @ask-maedhros @askfingonthevaliant yo can we kill thingol?

I’ve been down to kill this maniac for years

ME FIRST

You should spank Elrond

I’m not going to spank a fully grown man

I’m sure Fingon is dissapointed to hear that

@askfingonthevaliant

You have NO BUSINESS knowing what I do in my bedroom life with Fingon

AH so you DO spank a grown ass man!

That’s private information!!!

Are you adopted?

piece of shit greyface, what the fuck kind of question is that? are you hinting something, uh? you wanna catch these hands?! MY BOYFRIEND WILL BOIL YOU ALIVE

Unfortunately, he spawned from my loins.

Elrohir, don’t make me get the soap.

Eat shit and die crying, old man

I fucked your mother

Good for you, I guess??? What kinda shitty statement is that, we are RELATED for a REASON

Elrond! Elrohir! Stop this! I raised you better than this!

What do you want, grandpa? He says he fucked my mother, i just told him i know??

im worth it

I was going to ask if you were seeing this, @saurons-advice, but you’re already here to watch the elf fight.

@ask-maedhros Yes, about your grandson! I didn’t realize you had one, why didn’t you tell meeeeeee

You knew Elrond had kids!

Oh, Elrond! My bad, I didn’t make the connecti- wait, that’s ELROND’S son????

What… happened…

I have no clue what went wrong

I’VE MET ELROND AND CELEBRIAN, THEY’RE BOTH LOVELY PEOPLE, something is amiss here

@ask-maedhros Yes, about your grandson! I didn’t realize you had one, why didn’t you tell meeeeeee

You knew Elrond had kids!

Oh, Elrond! My bad, I didn’t make the connecti- wait, that’s ELROND’S son????

What... happened...

Could really use some dick rn

@ask-maedhros Yes, about your grandson! I didn’t realize you had one, why didn’t you tell meeeeeee

Elrohir, this is Maedhros. What are you doing! Going to prison, telling Sauron to cut holes in elves....

I know, right?! I was about to make it, then some pissdrinker little shit decided to yell my positions to the guard. Oh but you will see, once me and Mai get our hands on that fucker

Elrohir you come home this instant and STOP being such a public menace

What’s wrong with being a piss drinker….

I had no doubts you would say that. and it wasn’t my piss and it wasn’t my maia. also kid, so ya know

Ignore thingol and his piss drinking. What’s this about a kid?

was a kid who yelled about me running that way, that brat is gonna pay for that

I know I’m an immortal undead necromancer but I am LIVING for this elf drama

yo mr immortal undead necromancer, looking for some fun? me and mai are all up for a three way, no matter if you are cold

Elrohir don’t you dare hurt a kid.

Hey Mr. Angmar can I join in? Can we make this an orgy?

Did…. he…. just use a minion meme…

I thought valinor was supposed to be cool

ask-eru-lluvatar

What the fuck is going on here I go to sleep for a couple ages and come back to this shit show

The elves are restless.

With all due respect, All-Father, it’s about time you showed up.

If you just want a hole why don't you get, like, a pumpkin? Elves have reactions!

The reactions are the fun part!

^^^

Elrohir please tell me you’re not out there raping random elves too

Hey I just got out of prison, i didn’t have time

Your father is going to kill you, you know

He can try, and fail, and yell st how that poser of my brother is better than me. But i’ll be too busy banging my bitch and having coke on his back, to care

You two are doing coke now?

AH, just now?

I did the same in my youth but I’ll warn you, withdrawl is a bitch

You are one to tell! I was in jail, i had to drink banana peels fermented under a sink as alcohol and snort something that I don’t know, was like concrete powder, and YOU didn’t even come for a visit! I can still smell the bananas!

Bananan vodka is FANTASTIC so shut up! You don’t know what a real dungeon is like, you were just in a ritzy valinor prison.

What did I wake up to, what did I miss, what

My grandson thinks he’s rough. He’s off being a little punk bitch rebel.