Ask the Mad Hatter

A denizen of Wonderland, the genuine article: the Mad Hatter.

[sluttynurse]

torture the blonde man some more

[askthemadhatter]

I beg your pardon? Don't you suppose I've been harmed enough?

[askgentlemanghost]

When you first became a ghost, did you have a hard time adjusting to your new abilities, like flying and summing your pistols and your horse?

Yes. 

It was an extraordinarily difficult period of adjustment. Imagine, if you will, you are completely and utterly obliterated, and it suddenly becomes your task and toil to pick your pieces up and fit them together again. Merely taking on a physical form took me years. 

Everything else, quite frankly, was an accident. I formerly used physical pistols instead of my spectral ones, until I chanced upon the latter in a train robbery gone wrong. I only discovered the power of flight when I leapt down a gorge to avoid the attentions of a witch, and of course it takes a great deal of concentration to keep my body from-- 

Oh, I’ve said too much. Listen to me prattle on-- you’d think I were a hatter!

[askthemadhatter]

I... don’t quite see what millinery has to do with-- oh my, would the subject be soul projection? BUT! I must say, you’ve always seemed very put together to me. So the fact it was a skill you had to [pardon the expression] mature is quite commendable! I can’t imagine being as patient and simply not giving up on the matter altogether so as to drown in a pool of tears.

[askthemadhatter]

JONATHAN, BAR THE DOORS.

[ask-ragdoll]

[riddlesandqueries]

Sulking, on a fine spring afternoon? Shouldn’t you be plotting the heist of the Shroud of Turin?

[askgentlemanghost]

Not if I should chance upon it first, ha-ha.

(My sackcloth ragamuffin, teasing a speed-ster [so as I have heard them called] will never end well— I’m sure being fleet of foot in this case equates to his speed of wit!)

[riddlesandqueries]

Well then, gentlemen…either we make a vacation of it, or a race.

[ask-ragdoll]

I’m not one to get involved in religious affairs, but a trip to Italy does sound de-lightful! I’m in.

[askthemadhatter]

                                         ......say what now?

[ask-ragdoll]

[riddlesandqueries]

Sulking, on a fine spring afternoon? Shouldn’t you be plotting the heist of the Shroud of Turin?

[askgentlemanghost]

Not if I should chance upon it first, ha-ha.

(My sackcloth ragamuffin, teasing a speed-ster [so as I have heard them called] will never end well— I’m sure being fleet of foot in this case equates to his speed of wit!)

[askthemadhatter]

Really, I hardly know why you two are giving him the time of day.  “It’s all his fancy, that: he hasn’t got no sorrow, you know. Come on!”

[romantic-musings]

meraki_pottery_tn on Instagram

[fangirltothefullest]

I never thought I’d be so obsessed with tea sets but oh my GODS

Just LOOK at this!

And these!

Cottagecore bunny set anyone?

And the most expensive teapot in the world is smol

[thatonewritingperson]

Imma add a photo of my mother-daughter tea set that we use every Thursday afternoon. My daughter picked it.

[thingsfromthedirt]

[understands]

[alchemicalterror]

If you had to wear a hat what kinda hat would you wear?

... Hey, uh, folks who know more about hats than me - Tetch, Eddie - any recommendations?

[askthemadhatter]

WELL, Jonathan, that is a very broad question. And completely depends on what you are deciding on wearing. Of course sol is always an option. Oh, oooh a sunhat would be simply darling. Ah. But perhaps not for most occasions. 

Hmm.. not boater. What are your thoughts on a trilby? With your suits, you know, would simply suit you, aha.  I can’t help but also consider tweed. Newspaper cap style, perhaps?

Let me consider it, dear doctor. And we shall have something put together in no time at all!

[discounthideout]

Mad Hatter is just a British weeb send tweet

[askthemadhatter]

I beg your pardon... but a WHAT?

[riddlesandqueries]

It's Bruce Wayne.

I assume this has to do with the line of thought being explored yesterday, pertaining to Batman’s identity, and in response to this bold statement, I have a question: is your tin foil hat on too tight?

Bruce Wayne is not Batman. The last person to make such a claim was Dr Hugo Strange, claiming he had proof on video, and attempted to scam several other rogues out of a large sum of money for its purchase. Naturally, it turned out to be a scam.

Have you ever met Bruce Wayne? Have you ever considered his schedule as a CEO and majority shareholder, personally inspecting where he’s invested for quality control? He doesn’t have the time to relax, let alone sail around at night playing detective in a bat costume: the numbers just don’t lie.

Next thing you know, people will start thinking that Superman’s got a job at, say...The Daily Planet, and makes a living writing about himself. Absolute poppycock: go outside and get some fresh air sometime.

[ask-ragdoll]

[askthemadhatter]

…. Must you?

[ask-ragdoll]

Yeeees…?

[askthemadhatter]

...

I think you and I BOTH know the question was rhetorical, at best.

[askthemadhatter]

.... Must you?

[askthemadhatter]

Is the frog footman still around?

Hmm? Oh. Him. I wouldn’t worry yourself with such trifle matters, my dear. Sometimes people simply cease with their functions. Their clockworks sputter out until...WELL, as I said, you needn’t worry. I have a fish footman now, and have been making sure he knows to rest when needed.

My, it has been so long since I’ve written anything. I apologise. Sometimes life has a habit of dashing about like little rabbits-- scurrying around around until you completely forget yourself to your whims. Things have been comfortable. Better than comfortable. But, oh... money has been running out, you know. That certainly has been a bit of a problem. Will have to consider the likes of that, all in due time.

That is later, this is now. And for now...

I think I’ll have myself a nice cup of tea. I’ll lure Jonathan out while I’m at it, as well, for some company.

[askthemadhatter]

Did you do anything special today, Mr. Hatter?

Why, my dear, every day is special in its own way. A day, like most things in life, are simply what you make of it. 

I believe mine has been very relaxing. It helps when you have extra hands around the place, I’m sure you agree. Allows one the opportunity to become more acquainted with Time, as I putter around with my work.