Something Wicked This Way Comes

Elona : INTJ : 23 : crazy cat lady - I like to eat, sleep, read, and plot my way to the throne. - I love all things Villainous, Evil, Patrick Stump, Fall Out Boy, Bandom, Starkid, Who, Once, Austen, Sherlock, Marvel, Potter, Hamilton, Hiddleston, Pirates, Supernatural, Battlestar Galactica, Buffy, Loki, Lord of the Rings, Vampires, A Song of Ice and Fire, Star Wars, and Ancient Egypt. - my writing blog

[bluedancingkittykat]

back on my bullshit y’all

[johnnyjoestarrelatable]

hallmark movie

woman: i have a high paying job in new york city that i love and christmas isn’t that important to me

her black friend: you need a MAN

woman’s dad: come to the small town,, we are suffering without a baker for our town festivale

woman: ok dad

man: i harvest maple syrup for a living and make 2 dollars a year

woman: :/

man: will you harvest maple syrup with me…

woman: i’ve decided i hate my job and i’m going to resign myself to making christmas tree ornaments in fuckberg for the rest of my life

[take-a-dip-in-the-deadpool]

This should have been prefaced with “we forced a bot to watch 1000 hours of christmas movies”

[crazyintheeast]

Petition for Netflix to do a reverse Hallmark movie. A housewife from a small town has to go on a trip to the Big City due to some inheritance issue(her husband of course doesn’t accompany her because he is a lazy ass). In the process she finds out that she fucking LOVES the big city. She loves the possibilities, the culture, the life,the night life,

She also just happens to find a job she loves, decides she doesn’t actually want children, that she hates going to church, that she never really liked either her or her husband’s families

And then her angry husband calls her:

husband: where the hell are you? You were supposed to be done with this b.s two weeks ago? I don’t have any clothes. Mom had to come here to do the laundry and she is so pissed at you. You better be here to prepare Christmas dinner!

woman: Actually dear I decided not to sell my great aunt’s flat. In fact I decided to move to the city. Also the reason I am calling was to tell you that I am filing for divorce

husband:you bitch. you will regret this. i will leave you penniless

women: actually dear in case you forgot dealing with the finances was something you considered beneath you so all the bank accounts are in my name. but don’t worry. i’ll leave you the house. maybe now you will actually bother to do the repairs I have been asking you to do for years. merry Christmas. All tell your mother to go fuck herself

[breatherunlive]

That is a Christmas movie I would watch.

[van-dyne]

Mothers in the MCU ❤️ She is beautiful, softened at the edges, and tempered with a spin of steel.

[neyruto]

Cowboys are witches and horses are their familiars

[istillfuckwithdemilovato-deacti]

guns are their wands and they only know one spell (bullet)

[omnybus]

Rootin’, tootin’, toil n’ shootin’

Fire burn and cowboy bootin’

Eye of newt and spicy beans,

Toe of frog and denim jeans,

Whiskey, grits, n’ demon spittle

tossed into my iron griddle

With the tannin’ of our hides,

Somethin’ wicked this way rides

[pechebeche-deactivated20201125]

What are you called?

 - THE MIGHTY NEIN.

[criticalsorcery]

It’s your turn to roll

[apricops]

every king in the Middle Ages: it’s really important that I don’t die because I don’t have an heir and if something were to happen to me, the whole kingdom would be thrown into civil war

every king in the Middle Ages: anyway time to go CHASE WILD BOARS WITH A POINTY STICK

[butch-king-frankenstein]

the eternal masculine dichotomy of “I must preserve my bloodline, for it is the most powerful and special on Earth” and “I am too powerful to ever die”

[jilylicious]

Today, James Potter fell like a marionette whose strings were cut trying to give his wife and baby few precious moments to escape.

Today, Lily Evans cried “Not Harry please, have mercy” to save her son and sacrificed herself to give him a minute more to breathe.

Today, Remus Lupin found himself all alone.

Today, Sirius Black closed the eyes of his brother and swore vengeance no matter how he got it.

Today, Peter Pettigrew hid into the closest hole he can find.

Today, Minerva McGonagall struggled to stay standing when she got the news.

Today, Petunia Evans lost a sister but didn’t shed a tear.

Today, Severus Snape regretted ever overhearing that prophecy.

Today, Albus Dumbledore let his mind choose rather than his heart.

Today, Harry Potter became The Boy Who Lived.

[remusjohnslupin]

Slytherin!Hermione AU

[mariaanhawke]

“don’t split the party” is DM propaganda to prevent having to describe three simultaneous scenes and spend ten minutes figuring out the timeline, no this was before your conversation with him, she’s not even in the room yet!

[cosmiicorvid]

Spooky season is here

[novatheproto]

But it sep-

[cosmiicorvid]

SPOOKY SEASON IS HERE

[beastboicrank]

SPOOKS

[quaquaversall]

SPOOKY SPOOKS

[lesbian-marvel]

Nebula has big dick energy & Mantis has big heart energy, that’s why they compliment each other so well

[markantonys]

[ekjohnston]

I would believe it.

[colonelfind-it]

a dnd party of made up entirely of orc bards

[colonelfind-it]

an orchestra

[nottyouraveragegoblin]

I have 7 hours of work left. Is it a good idea to listen to Yeah! By usher ludicris and lil John for all 7 of them? Important decision please advise.

[nottyouraveragegoblin]

Hour 1 review: still a good song tbh.

They say that you have to choose every day to stay committed to a marriage. Because of this, I’ve chosen not to put the song on loop, sort of signifying my 7 hour marriage to this song. I have to choose to stay committed every 4:10. This is my trial.

Something about the big “yeah” at the end of a string of “yeahs” makes me want to do big dab, but my back is to the door of the office so that’s a Bad Idea. I must resist temptation.

[nottyouraveragegoblin]

Hour 2: still a bop

Right at 1:30 before it says ready to leave (to leeeeave) there’s a bit that really sounds like someone is saying my name and it makes me anxious bc I just started this job and I think my coworker is going to tell me I fucked up. It gets me without fail every 4 minutes.

My favorite lyric so far is “Ludacris full cups like double ds” bc I like to think it means that Ludacris has big ole tiddies.

[nottyouraveragegoblin]

Hour 3: I’m going to have this song stuck in my head for the next six weeks and I’ve made my peace with it.

Lil John is the unsung hero of this song. Without him the energy levels would be a solid 7/10 but when that awful, bad, not good voice comes screaming in in the background it really just gives everything an extra boost. How does one man feel emotions with such intensity? His voice just crashes in with the perfect levels of chaotic intensity.

[nottyouraveragegoblin]

Hour 4:yEah YEAH YEAH.. YEAH YEAH ..(yeah)

Gonna tank the various contributions of the various artists bc I have Thoughts

3: Ludacris: his contribution is passable but nothing special. His verse flows well or whatever but frankly the verses are Uninspired. We’ve heard rappers brag about their dicks before. You gotta really bring your A game if you want to be high tier. (patrooOOOOOL)

2: Usher: that voice is cool and smooth. A balm to calm u after Lil John comes in with his Big and Wild sound. Keeps it cool and classy.

1: Per my last post, Lil John: raw, unaltered chaotic horny energy

[nottyouraveragegoblin]

Hour 5: ok so the biggest obstacle that I’m currently facing in my life is at the very end of the song when Ludacris (I think) does the whole “take that, rewind it back, [insert artist] has the [musical term] that make your booty go [sound effect].

But like… he calls Usher Ursher in this section? Like bitch Usher tells you exactly how to pronounce his name at the beginning of all of his songs?? How did you mess that one up?

[nottyouraveragegoblin]

Hour 6: a nurse was yelling at me on the phone for like 20 minutes and then I cried for a little bit so I only got like a half hour of Yeah! in, but it was a good half hour

boop BEEP boop BOOP boop BEEP boop BOOP boop BEEP boop BOOP boop BEEP boop BOOP boop BEEP boop BOOP boop BEEP boop BOOP

[nottyouraveragegoblin]

Hour 7: I’m so hungry but the only thing left to sustain me is Yeah! By Usher.

If I ever see usher at this point, I think me innate reflex would be to shoot on sight

[velaryons]

The woman is important too!

[bajn]

how u look at ur bank account after u reblogged the money dog and u still have $2.63