Season 2 Episode 10: Traveling to new worlds
TW: Suicide ideation TW: Religious imagery
We all know that Nilly (around 17) had a rough time recently. Abandoned by her mother and incarcerated as a child, she suffered domestic violance at her new home, failed to form meaningful connections with her peers at school. Grades suffer, dissatisfaction boils over, and life feels like an endless circle of suffering.
When her last few hopes shatter at a school trip, where she learns about what feels like an unrequited friendship, stuck in the past, and no pleasure whatover in an activity which is supposed to be exciting, she decides to ride home. And yes, she does not have a ticket if she does not go with the class - luckily for her, or the ticket insepctor, no one checked on this day - since the calss travled via class ticket. However, during her train ride, she thinks about what happens next, and realizes where is not muhc to luck forward.
Upon that realization, she considers taking one last major decision and to take leaving that suffering behind by ending her life.
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Scientific note:
Suicidal ideation is not talked enough about people with ASPD or Conduct Disorder, albeit there is a higher risk of suicide for them than control groups. Cleckly once wrote that people with psychopathic or anti-social traits would be less likely to commit suicide, but newer findings contradict him.
Not only is Conduct Disorder increasing the risk of suicide during adulthood, but these kids themselves are already at a much higher risk to end their lives prematurely.
Since pwASPD are more likely to be treated in forensic settings than in therapeutic settings, and people seem to care less about the survival of inmates, studies on suicide prevention is less known than compared to other personality disorders.
Reasons for suicide can vary. One which often pops up is taht suicide might be seen as an opportunity to escape once felt trapped. In the case of our Anti-Social-Girl, it is a combination of lack of perspective, ahedonia, and entrapment in sameness, likely to stem from her inability to gain happiness from everyday interactions and social bonds compared to her peers.
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Sources and further reading:
McClelland, H., Cleare, S. & O’Connor, R.C. Suicide Risk in Personality Disorders: A Systematic Review. Curr Psychiatry Rep 25, 405–417 (2023)
Verona, E., Patrick, C. J., & Joiner, T. E. (2001). Psychopathy, antisocial personality, and suicide risk. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 110(3), 462–470.
https://childhealthpolicy.ca/mental-disorders-suicide-risk/#:~:text=The%20researchers%20found%20that%20when,than%20those%20without%20these%20problems.
Wei HT, Lan WH, Hsu JW, Bai YM, Huang KL, Su TP, Li CT, Lin WC, Chen TJ, Chen MH. Risk of Suicide Attempt among Adolescents with Conduct Disorder: A Longitudinal Follow-up Study. J Pediatr. 2016
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Spoilers:
Of course this is not the last episode. Those who watch my webseries longer, know that there are episodes beyond her age 17. Consequently, she did not die. I just wanted to be a bit dramatic.












