exploring kpop on the asexual-aromantic spectrum

Please tag this blog in any relevant posts. For more info on aspec terms, identities, and definitions, check out: https://warwickpride.org/aspec-arospec https://www.lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/A-Spec

[aspec-kpop]

This blog is intended to be a gathering point for kpop fans anywhere on the ace-aro spectrum and anyone interested in listening to and/or learning from our perspective.

The ace-aro spectrum is VAST with huge variance between individuals and experiences.

FANDOMS: please remember to be respectful of the other fandoms. Malicious content will not be tolerated.

I will endeavor not to share my personal views from this blog. Please help call my attention to it if you feel I have.

[sunny-daze-days]

Despite being asexual i have a clinical fascination with sex and the attitudes that come with it. It's a funny little contradiction that just lends itself to my own oddities. And if im being honest, I'm wondering how I even ended up with such a radically open view of sex compared to what my mother and, theoretically, my father believe.

And when I say fascination with it I dont mean in a perverted sense, I mean it in an academic i-want-to-study-it-like-a-bug kind of clinical. Though considering the attitudes towards sex in the current day, let alone what it was in the past hundreds of years, I feel that its a given some people might see my fascination as a perversion rather than something academic. Perhaps it's both and not one over the other.

Despite the perception the viewer has of this post, my fascination still remains. In my worldview sex is a natural part of life and your reactions, whether favored or disfavored, are entirely valid and your own.

However, recently I watched a documentary on Netflix called Crip Camp that made me realize that the experiences I have as an asexual are often the exact opposite types of experiences the disabled have when it comes to sex.

In this documentary, a women with Cerebral Palsy named Denise Sherer-Jacobson recalls a story in her life where she had abdominal pain and went to the hospital to get it checked. The Doctors all assumed it had been appendicitis and removed her appendix, only to find it was not damaged or ill in any way. What she really had was an STD, but the doctors implicitly assumed someone with Cerebral Palsy wouldn't or couldn't be having sex.

Ms. Sherer-Jacobson, and the whole section about disabled teens and their normal teenage sexual exploration, brought forth a question in my mind. Why is it that our experiences are so similar, and yet so different? Why is it that allosexual and abled people assume that someone who looks "normal" must always be having sex or have sexual desire and someone who looks "abnormal" must not?

I can't count how many times someone has assumed that I must be faking my asexuality, or I haven't met the right person, or can't comprehend that im not attracted to anybody at all. When I express that though I am sex favored I do not feel sexual attraction, Im met with bewildered, confused, or shocked stares and questions pertaining to why I am this way. They feel sympathy for me, as if I am not fully human without the desire to fuck.

The aversion to the "abnormal" found in society targeted at the visibly disabled is particularly interesting through this lens. While I cannot say for certain, as I am not visibly disabled myself (high functioning adhd and -theoretically- autistic), I can say that based on the treatment of disabled people I know and the personal testimony in crip camp, the visibly disabled are often thought of subconsciously as less human and therefore not thought of. The same way that dogs might be an afterthought in city planning, so to is there an afterthought in wheelchair accessibility. Often inconvenient and difficult to navigate, accessibility options feel more like an afterthought than a priority.

And because the visibly disabled are thought of as less human or an afterthought in abled consciousness, invisible to the general senses, they are thus not deserving of sexual thought. This concept is what i refer to as an Asexual-by-default mindset when it comes to the sexualization (or rather, non-sexualization) of the obviously disabled. This type of thinking, this absence of sexual representation of the visibly disabled, leads to the assumption of the disabled as non-sexual beings by nature. A fallacy based on ingrained societal perception rather than fact, and the fact is that the obviously disabled ARE capable of being sexually beings.

However, on the flip side, someone who is not obviously disabled might have the exact opposite experience than they have, where they are the victim of a Sexual-By-Default mindset. Where someone who is not as visibly disabled are assumed to have sexual attraction. Similarly if you are not disabled in any way the same theory applies. Doubly so if you (to any abled or disabled degree) are deemed physically attractive enough.

And while someone can be considered visibly unattractive and therefore sexually unwanted or sexually unfavorable, there's still the distinct assumption that that person is still a sexual being by default and desires sex. Just cant get any. Or perhaps that even though you have taken a vow of celibacy, you still distinctly experience a desire for sex and sexuality. Why else, then, would a chastity vow be such a big deal for so many people if not for the fact its always assumed the able bodied person who vowed it must be struggling to keep said vow.

The normalization of a sexual by default view tends to be inherently hypocritical, as it excludes the visibly disabled and Asexuals in a way that is uniquely discriminatory and harmful. Like in the case of Ms. Sherer-Jacobson it can lead to medical misdiagnosis and un-needed medical procedures. Or in the case of an asexual, the othering of a whole person from both straight and LGBTQ+ spaces on the basis of not experiencing sexual attraction "the right way".

The invalidating of both the obviously disabled and Asexuals (on all walks of the spectrum respectively) is a serious societal issue that I dont think im fully qualified to address. I admit Im just a college student, who is able bodied and has no in depth experience in sexuality studies. I can only theorize on this based on my own personal experience and the testimony of those around me, but I feel that its an important conversation to have. These ideas probably arent even original, though I haven't encountered theory relating to this yet.

As i said before, my fascination with sex and sexuality comes from a place of academia, a desire to know more. If anyone has any resources about these topics, please send them my way! Whether it be studies, theoretical works, books, movies, etc. I would personally love to consume it. Thank you to those that have read this by the way. Its a passion rant of mine. Also, if anyone wishes for me to change the words I used for the type of disability in the post please let me know!

[aspec-kpop]

This reminds me of some conversations we've had here on this blog. The default assumption that to be in kpop fandom means sexual attraction to the idols and thus the moral debate regarding underage debuts.

It's absolutely still something I see in the fandom space, the assumption that sexual attraction must be a key motivator for activity. I can't speak for anyone else but for me, I absolutely feel pushed to the side sometimes when it comes to this topic...

Which again, maybe it's my own flavour of ace-aro-ness but I just really can't get my head around the idea of celebrity-based attraction in an actual feeling sense... I understand it logically like op said in the study-an-insect way but that's it. Everything about how allos approach it, I have to store in the part of my brain that keeps various pieces of facts and data, like the multiplication table.

[aspec-kpop]

Hey y'all! Haven't made a post here in ages! Hope you're all doing well! I have a question that may be just my aspec influencing me or maybe my tiny view into this corner of tumblr really is more limited than I thought. It seems I'm incapable of getting out of poll-focused mindset so I'll phrase this as a poll but if you have any further responses to share, I'd love to hear it. Don't feel boxed in by my pre-determined response options.

Is current kpop tumblr only viable as a gif and/or shipping-focused platform?

meaning: if there were no gif bloggers or ship-focused bloggers would there be an active kpop corner of tumblr?

Kpop tumblr would be nearly dead without BOTH giffers and shippers

It'd still exist without the shippers

It'd still exist without the giffers

It doesn't need either of these, it'd be thriving

Voting ended onAug 31, 2025

I'm really curious about the viewpoint of those of you that have found this blog.

[curio-queries]

Mona Lisa : An Unconcluded Journey

So...Hobi's song Mona Lisa has taken me on an unexpected journey. But I want to be clear, I have not yet arrived at a destination and I'm not sure that there will actually ever be one. My thoughts are purely about my own reaction and I'm not trying to persuade anyone else that they should feel any sort of way about this. I'm also not making any statements regarding the value of this music or those that enjoy it. So for any of you that decide to read through this post, just keep that in mind.

If there's any reason you haven't listened to the song yet, please do so and have your own impressions with the song without my viewpoints skewing your experience.

BACKGROUND

To set the scene, I just want to share a few thoughts on where Hobi's music sits in my life. Generally, I don't love it or hate it. I absolutely love when he focuses a little more on musicality but his rap usually doesn't speak to me. I love the concept and execution of JitB but none of the actual songs made it into my regular playlists after pushing streams. HotS was a little better but still nothing stuck with me long term. There are a few exceptions but overall I didn't have many expectations going into the post-ms music releases for Hobi. I didn't love or hate Sweet Dreams. I was starting to build a QuickCombo for it (maybe I'll finish it one of these days) but I didn't like the mv at all. I specifically avoided all opportunities where I could have heard either song before their mvs released.

INITIAL REACTION

As I've mentioned a few times, it' very rare that I know right at first listen whether I will end up liking a song long-term. I usually have a bit of an adjustment period unless there's something truly astonishing (RM's Wildflower is still probably the most instantaneous reaction I've ever had to a first listen). But I have to tell you, I did not even make it to the first chorus before I knew that I was going to have problems with Mona Lisa. I was immediately filled with such a sour feeling. Just an instant dawning that something was wrong.

I had a thought continually circling my head: this is objectification on display. (From some minimal research I've done since this songs release the exact term I'm associating is Instrumentality). I don't want to go too in depth here on why/how this song conveys this meaning to me. This will always be subjective and like i said above, I'm not interested in convincing anyone to my viewpoint. And that's not the reason why this is continuing to sit so heavy with me.

Anyway, I immediately had an internal conflict. The BTS and specifically the Jung Hoseok that I know, would not be putting out a message celebrating objectification. So I had to shake myself out of that thought process and try to come at this song from what I expect to be the intended viewpoint: a catchy song celebrating how attractive a romantic/sexual interest can be whilst incorporating a fine art spin.

I tried...I really did.

I tried just listening to it without the mv. I tried focusing on other people's reactions and hype posts.

I actually really enjoy the actual composition of the song itself. It speaks very well musically to the viewpoint of celebrating beauty in a more modern way while also carrying a hint of reverence expected in a museum setting.

But listening to the lyrics make me feel like my insides are shriveling up. That I'm screaming in a quiet room about something being wrong but no one will look up. Am i the only one seeing this? Is it just my specific flavour as an aro-ace that's causing this reaction? I'll be sharing this post with @aspec-kpop . Any of you have a similar reaction?

JUST MOVE ON, RIGHT?

I tried mentally shelving the song as one that's just not intended for me. There are PLENTY of those. I don't like every song released by BTS or the members and I'm typically fine just filing them away and moving on.

It was whilst trying to switch to this viewpoint, that I happened to get 3D recommended in my Youtube feed again. So I watched that mv for the first time since we were streaming it. Do y'all remember 3D? In my mind, this is definitely one of the most vile songs I've had the displeasure of listening to since my BTS journey began. As I watched the mv again, I knew the instant disgust I would feel once JH's verse started...But that actually made me reflect for a moment. I have no lingering dislike for Jungkook with this song. Even watching the mv right then and hearing the lyrics he was singing. They were also not particularly to my taste, but they didn't BOTHER me.

I genuinely don't mind the guys wanting to release songs more clearly about sex. I unironically really like SEVEN (except Lotto's verse but that has more to do with how I don't really enjoy listening to women's music very much and how I value clever sexual innuendo over blunt vulgarity). I want the members to feel the freedom to talk about the important things in their lives and it seems that this is a topic many of them are wanting to include right now. Go for it.

Anyway, 3D is an easy pass for me. It's not to my taste musically or lyrically. I shoved it out of my mind and moved on. But I think the interesting part here is that my perception of Jungkook was not called into question AT ALL whereas with Mona Lisa, i was instantly conflicted. Is it because the worst part of 3D came from the mouth of someone else? An artist that I have no investment or interest in? While Hobi's song doesn't have a collaborator for me to mentally shove the burden toward? I don't have an answer.

WAR OF HORMONE

We can't talk about this subject without bringing up the biggest kerfuffle in BTS's history with questionable lyrics from this perspective. I was not part of the fandom when this happened live and it was pretty far into my journey before I found out about it. Musically, I don't mind the song, I definitely don't hate it but I don't think I've ever had the thought 'I really want to listen to WoH right now.' When considering WoH against Mona Lisa, there are two possibilities I want to explore:

Am I more okay with WoH because it all happened in the past? Not being in the fandom at the time means I didn't have a period of confusion where I was trying to dissect my thoughts along with the discussion. There has already been a conclusion to that story. The members have seen how ARMY was impacted and we've seen the proof of them growing from that experience. They were all also much younger when this happened. Still learning who they were and what they wanted to become.

Or does WoH get a 'pass' because of the language barrier. Everytime I listen to it, I don't actively read the lyrics. It's completely on my 《failing》 memory to remember how problematic some of the lines can be. Mona Lisa does not get that advantage. It's completely in English so every line that doesn't sit well with me is reinforced with every listen.

There's also a small point that I can't help but think about regarding WoH. I don't see this discussed anywhere but I can't help but remember anytime I do watch the WoH content, the members are absolutely in the middle of an industry designed to sexualize and objectify them as Idols. It's honestly something I end up thinking about anytime I encounter WoH.

SO WHAT?

This is exactly the reason why I've labeled this post as an unconcluded journey. I don't know where I really sit or where to go with this song. I'm not comfortable with where I am right now with it but I don't know where I'm going. I just wanted to share my thoughts with y'all.

I really do hope Hobi achieves whatever success he's looking for with this. I'd be lying though if I said i didn't wish the lyrics didn't cause such conflict for me though.

[aspec-kpop]

Very interested to hear if anyone else on the ace-aro spectrums has had a similar reaction to this song.

[aspec-kpop]

Happy Boop Day??

Made this ~extremely~ shabby aspec boop but wanted to share the boops with ya'll! Unfortunately this is a sideblog so I can't send you any from here but if you'd like some, feel free to send them in and I'll boop back!

💚🤍🩶🖤🩶🤍💜

[aspec-kpop]

Happy Boop-o-ween!

I know i haven't posted anything on this blog in ages but if you're looking for boops, this blog reboops from my main @curio-queries

[aspec-kpop]

I've been thinking about this for a while now and I'd like to know if any of y'all are having a similar experience to mine.

As an aspec, how do you feel about shipping in kpop fandoms?

I actively engage in shipping discourse

I occupy shipping spaces or consume content but generally don't engage

I'm not opposed to it but don't seek it out

I avoid it entirely

Something Else

I'm not aspec or not in Kpop

Voting ended onSep 21, 2024

I have a post on my main blog that prompted me to finally make this poll for y'all. It's in response to some shipping discourse so know that going into it if you decide to follow this link.

Long story short though, the kpop fandoms have definitely been the least welcome I've felt as an aspec in shipping spaces.

[solojihyo]

okay so here’s the thing. while i agree that kpop is for people of all ages, i feel like a lot of people miss the accountability part that comes along with it, particularly when it comes to groups with minors in them. there’s nothing wrong with listening to these groups casually. however, if you’re stanning a group with minors and are older than them (especially if you’re more than a couple of years older), it’s important to hold yourself accountable. for example: there’s nothing wrong with someone who’s 30+ listening to a group with minors casually. stanning is slightly different, though - i would say stanning can be okay as long as you’re being an adult about it. like i would genuinely be concerned if i saw someone way too obsessed with collecting albums and photocards for minors that are much, much younger than them. or if a 20+ year old was sexualizing a 14 year old and calling them “hot” and “attractive” - that is a problem. yes, kpop is for all ages, but in an industry that’s unfortunately filled with minors, as an older fan you have the responsibility to not be weird about it. if you can't consume content in a responsible way, then don't stan groups with minors in them. it's as simple as that.

[aspec-kpop]

This is exactly the kind of take that makes me feel like such an 'other' as an aspec in the kpop world. I understand there's a good intention somewhere in the heart of this but it's just dripping in so much allonormativity that people can't even comprehend being interested in the work of Idols outside of sexual appeal. Heaven forbid some of us are interested in kpop for the music, the performances, and other content outside of the context of sexual fantasy! If that were the case, no minor should ever be allowed to enter the field.

Am I completely misreading this or do y'all see it too?

[huiracha]

"I Like It"

[aspec-kpop]

Not sure if this is my aspec showing but I love that they're recognizing this.

[aspec-kpop]

Have you read any fanfic with Asexual characters?

Yes, a main character. it was represented well.

Yes, a main character. it was represented poorly.

Yes, NOT a main character. it was represented well.

Yes, NOT a main character. it was represented poorly

Yes, Multiple. overall represented well

Yes, multiple. overall represented poorly

No, I haven't read any but I do read fanfic

No, I don't read fanfic

Voting ended onJul 20, 2024

Link to the Aro version of this poll

Share for a bigger sample size!

[aspec-kpop]

Have you read any fanfic with Aromantic characters?

Yes, a main character. it was represented well.

Yes, a main character. it was represented poorly.

Yes, NOT a main character. it was represented well.

Yes, NOT a main character. it was represented poorly

Yes, Multiple. overall represented well

Yes, Multiple. overall represented poorly

No, I haven't read any but I do read fanfic

No, I don't read fanfic

Voting ended onJul 20, 2024

link to the Ace version of this poll.

Share for a bigger sample size!

[aspec-vents]

Aspec Venting Space!

Hiya! This is my sideblog designed specifically for aroacespecs and other aspecs to talk about their experiences, find people to relate to, and give out advice if they have any! It includes anyone who is not completely allo- in an area of attraction

[Jump to blog website]

What can I talk about?

Literally anything to do with being aspec! Whether positive or negative, it doesn't matter! This is your place to feel heard and understood as an aspec individual

Both asks and posts are open, so use whichever format you please! Include images, infodump your aspec life story, post art, ask questions, anything you want to use to express yourself

The only rule is not to get into anything too triggering, especially to do with heavy trauma or wanting to cause yourself or others harm

How did it come about?

I made an infographic on my main blog about underrepresented aroace experiences and it was relatable to a lot of people on the aro/ace spectrums. I realised we really don't talk about the hard parts of being aroace so I wanted to create a space where aspecs could vent both positively and negatively - I hope the experiences shared here make people feel just as heard as my infographic did!

Tag Directory

#Negative Vent, #Positive Vent, #Neutral Vent

#Aspec Advice will also be tagged if a post gives some advice!

Posts are also sorted by relevant orientation! For example: #Aspec Vent (all vents), aroace vent, aplatonic vent, aromantic vent, asexual vent, aroallo vent, so on so forth! There's also #Questioning for vents related to questioning, advice for questioning aspecs, and such!

[aspec-kpop]

Sharing for anyone that could benefit from a place to vent! 🫰

[xdhsquad]

🏳️‍🌈 happy pride month with xdinary heroes !! (120×120) by @maluyoongi

[aspec-kpop]

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH TO EVERYONE ON THE ACE-ARO SPECTRUM!

[reinanova]

y’all

aro and ace are trending?? on the eve of pride month?? this year is for the aspecs for real

[aspec-kpop]

I know I haven't really been active on this account recently. The little time I've had recently for tumblr has been keeping @bts-polls running and trying to make progress on my Run BTS series on my main. (I once remember thinking if I stuck to a schedule, I'd be done by the time Jin returned 😅🤣😂).

But I want you all to know how comforted I personally am by so many of you even being interested in the topic of aspecs exploring kpop. If any of you see any posts you think would be relevant to this group, please tag this account and I'll be sure to share!

[red-hibiscus]

They've captured the asexual experience.

Ace people clearly explaining they do desire some level of physical affection, but don't care/want sex. Then allo people too stuck in their own experiences to even try to accept and understand

[curio-queries]

This was so weird. My aspec self did not appreciate the lack of nuance in the dating question but I decided to take it as a friendship date. There's also just the weird parasocial element to normalizing the idea of self-insert theoretical dates that squicks me just a little bit but I think that's showing my fandom age more than anything else...

Any of you get this 'personality quiz' also? I'd love to see everyone's results.

My result:

and here's everything else it gave me:

Your K-Pop Persona

See how you stan and share it with the world!

[aspec-kpop]

Hey fellow aspecs! Is it just me that gets annoyed by this type of question being included in a fairly generic personality quiz? Or do any of you have a similar feeling?