Aspect Priority @aspectpriority - Tumblr Blog

I bet you're all So glad I got unterminated. you would've Hated to miss This

#.txt #I fully appreciate that I could and arguably should apologise here #but frankly I don't want to do that anymore.#behold my wretched little posts.

necromancelena

Mom alter fronted at the grocery store so i get to have a full and balanced diet this week

synths-and-sensibility

Learning about Lua like...

"Tables are indexed starting at 1"

Okay... that's a choice, not what I would have gone with, but alright...

"0 is true"

...what the fuck?

random-random-thing

I... Wha— Why?

It's like taking every bad decision you can make at once with a language

#???????#that's such a- petty isn't quite the word #but like. that's the kind of decision that comes out of the worst pet peeve you've ever heard #and I am. so bad at coding. but doesn't that break convention with like. Most languages #like at a certain point that's just bad practice. surely.

heated-blanket

they’re foreclosing on my mind palace

ovadioisdead-blog

im in actual disbelief that this just happened while i was writing down this joke to remember later

aspectpriority

Genuinely and sincerely though. If I set aside the festering rage for a minute. You can't go through your life so fixated on things you hate.

Being angry is one thing. There is lots to be angry about. I am plenty angry about plenty of things, and only half a hypocrite, so I won't tell you to stop being angry. But to take that hate into the things you enjoy? To centre it when celebrating the progress you have made, the success of your communities? To respond to something you love with petty digs at something you hate? That's just fucking miserable.

You can't comment under every piece of art with how AI could never do this. You can't respond to a story about Black success by raving about how angry racists must be. You have to love trans people more than you hate transphobes. You have to let people make things and love things and be alive in this world without dragging the people and systems who want to see them fail into it every time.

aspectpriority

There are two trans members of Scottish parliament now! A local author I met at a workshop for altering gender affirming clothes a couple years ago posted about getting published recently! I don't give a flying fuck what JKR thinks about either of them, and the fact that she is what people talk about, instead of the people involved or the work that went into these achievements or how it would feel to be a Scottish trans person seeing these things, really got under my skin I guess.

#saw a post that reminded me of this and pissed me the fuck off again #''ohhh jk is represented by a nonbinary msp'' i don't CARE. i don't CARE.#Dr Manivannan worked their ASS off to get where they are now and y'all can't even give them five Fucking minutes without misgendering them #to try and make a point? to a Rampant terf who will Never see your post? get a fucking grip i'm so fucking serious #you have to love trans people more than you hate terfs and all that #british trans people have just been functionally banned from public single sex spaces and y'all are still being like ''oo JK must be so Mad #fuck off lmfao

userfish

this pride month we’re all going to be radically pro transgender. or else.

userfish

hey so this means radically pro ALL transgender. don’t put limitations on this. all trans people are radically accepted here.

pocketseizure

E. M. Carroll, A Guest in the House (2023)

pocketseizure

E. M. Carroll, A Guest in the House (2023)

pocketseizure

E. M. Carroll, A Guest in the House (2023)

Anyway. I guess I'll go mop or something

#.txt #sick of lying down

Also, do y'all know how hard it is to be Normal when you're sore all the time?

It's like trying to work on something fiddly when your hands are numb. You can see what you're supposed to be doing and you might even know how to do it, but your hands won't do what you tell them to, and you can't feel what you're doing and it's so so Frustrating because everyone Else is just Doing it. And they tell you "oh, you should be able to feel when it's clicked into place" and you go "oh but I can't feel it. I can't feel anything actually." And they go "pfff, don't be ridiculous. If you Actually couldn't feel anything you'd be crying on the floor about it. You'd be in hospital actually. My grandmother can't feel her hands anymore but she's like 80 and she can still do this, so maybe you're just stupid? And lazy? And awful? Have you considered that you're awful and lazy and stupid? You asking for help is pissing me off actually. If I couldn't feel my hands I'd kill myself. I couldn't imagine living like that. But if you actually couldn't feel your hands, how are you standing here? You know there are people who ACTUALLY can't feel their hands, right? And people who don't even HAVE hands? You should be ashamed of yourself".

And you just have to smile and be polite because otherwise you're the reason people don't take REAL people with numb hands seriously actually. And you go to the doctor and say "I haven't been able to feel my hands since I was 16" and they go ":/ sounds like you aren't trying hard enough. Have you considered you're a lazy awful stupid attention seeking loser who I hate?" And you just have to go "oh! Okay! I will try harder 👍☺️❤️"

And THEN. If you're LUCKY. You'll go and they'll be like "oh shit you can't feel your hands? Well, trying harder is gonna make you worse actually. But not trying hard enough will make you worse too. Have you considered trying harder?"

it's just like that forever apparently

#hater hours #SORRY. I have a lot of feelings about pacing actually.#shitty metaphor but also really funny because one of the symptoms of fibromyalgia is actually numbness #and also permanent pins and needles.#so you know.#but don't worry 👍 I can just try harder 👍👍 but not too hard 👍👍👍 but more harder 👍👍👍👍👍#the absolute despair of it all. if I'm honest.#like no wonder we don't know how to pace ourself actually

It is crazy that like, the start and end of the support we got for fibromyalgia, until we saw occupational health 2 years later, was 8 weeks of group therapy where they told us

Pace yourself

Rest more

Pay attention to your limits

Practice mindfulness

But also

You shouldn't stop doing stuff because of your pain.

You need to push yourself and learn that you can do things even with the pain.

You need to make sure you aren't resting too much.

Doing less will make you decondition, leading to more pain and making everything worse.

Like, I know these aren't actually inherently contradictory. But for someone who has No idea what their limits are, and is constantly feeling guilty and ashamed for not pushing harder and not doing more, it was hard not to feel like we just needed to Try Harder, and that if we Stopped pushing ourself this hard, we'd get worse.

And then they kinda just let you loose with no follow up or anything. I guess if you really wanted to, you could ask your GP to re-refer you, and wait a year for the wait list, and they Might see you again? But it's not really intended for that. It's just you and the PDFs they sent out each week against the world lmao

#.txt #rambling #Aris is posting #I'm being a little bit of a hater but it's on my mind again #slow down but not too much. keep pushing but not too hard.#for a guy who runs on all or nothing logic more often than not. it isn't hard to see why we kinda just. didn't get it.#we still don't.#I'm going to push us to our limit over and over again and not even realise it.#or even care.#because y'know. it's easier to pace yourself when you can do that and still Do Things.#but when your limit is ''sit up for 2 hours'' or ''take a 7 minute shower''#then y'know.#it gets a lot harder.

thatpollguy

Have you ever played the video game "Arcade Archives: Dig Dug"?

Yes

Not yet but I've bought or downloaded it

Voting ended onJun 2

#i think we played A Version of dig dug at some point #but don't quote me on it

Having a nice and fun time doing little bits of tidying between lying down. Life could be a dream etcetc

#.txt #rambling #I'm being genuine btw.#we have a bad habit of trying to do everything in one go and suffering for it.#but now I'm just doing like 5 minutes at a time and it's Nice.#technically this is what they tell you to do in pain management but we struggle with it a Lot #because like.. why would I willingly take breaks?#but it turns out breaks are Nice Actually

crabussy

drawing a very beautiful fat man with long hair and hairy legs and I just keep screaming out loud because I can create the worlds most gorgeous man out of thin air with my hands and a pen. what the fuck

See if I was being Sensible*, I would look at how much better we feel and go "oh! I should go to pottery after all", but this is actually a trap? And would make me feel So much worse. I feel better specifically because I've called off and taken a bunch of pressure off of myself. Putting it back on would be like... Like when someone goes "oh yeah no I stopped my antibiotics early because I felt better :)" like that's Not How It Works and is actually going to cause a Whole New Set Of Problems!!

*"sensible" here is actually a misnomer. Our habit of pushing ourself to our limit (and often beyond it) for the sake of productivity, or avoiding inconveniencing someone, is not "sensible", and is more likely to cause More Problems, Actually.

#.txt #rambling #we do this a Lot. where we're like #''oh I feel better. better get back to grinding myself into a fine dust!''#followed shortly by ''aughhh why am I a fine dust again :( I was feeling better :(''#like a fucking idiot.

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