Why Is Krittika So Boring?
In the cosmic menagerie, there are many interesting nakshatras. There’s ragebaiting Mrigashira, demon spawn Rohini, piece of shit Magha, Satan Incarnate Anuradha, mail order bride Mula, mentally ill Shatabhisha…
But today, we’re gonna be looking at a nakshatra that is… barely talked about. No matter which platform you go to—Twitter, tumblr, YouTube, whatever the fuck—you’ll see that it’s generally just radio silence on Krittika. Even Cholera, before she took down all her old videos, didn’t even have a dedicated Krittika video back then. And the Krittika gworliez used to be all up in her comments begging for even the slightest squeak about Krittika, but it seems that even those poor wenches have completely given up. So what gives?
I’ll tell y’all. Hopefully my Krittika ASC helps in some way.
And no, there isn’t gonna be some twist to all this or some “oh-Krittika-is-actually-very-interesting-but-it’s-not-widely-known” kind of subversion of expectations.
Krittika is not talked about simply because it really just is that boring.
But I guess the silver lining here is that the explanation I give for this may be interesting to you.
Krittika is said by some to be the first nakshatra, and that it kickstarts the cosmic cycle, as opposed to Ashwini. Cholera has described Krittika as “the birth of the cosmic man”, attributing this to the name Vaishvanara, which refers to the archetype of the male as most know it. I’d like to add a little addendum to this, if you will, by saying that it’s not just the birth of the “cosmic man”, but the birth of the “cosmic woman”, and therefore the birth of duality itself.
I’ve seen it said in Vedic online circles that the birth of duality comes in Ardra, where the sexes are split and cast out of the so-called “Garden of Eden”, and so have to live in the dualistic world. But no, gurlie. The split happens way earlier than that. Just the very concept of male and female is a dualistic concept, and the fact that this exists in the “Garden of Eden” does not make this concept any less dualistic. As I said earlier, just as the “cosmic man” is born here, so too is the “cosmic woman”—don’t forget that in the classic texts, the Moon’s birth nakshatra is Krittika. As I’ve said before, Krittika women are some of the most traditionally and stereotypically feminine women you’ll ever meet. Both the solar and lunar concepts are birthed here, and there is no other name for this than duality.
This might sound interesting on paper. Oh, the birth of duality, where there is the interplay between the masculine and the feminine, the journey of the hero and the FEMALE PATH OF SHAKTI, he is the mantra, she is the yantra, he is the explorer, she is the path, he is Consciousness, she is Materiality, the gods split the hermaphrodite in two so the two sexes can find each other again in the grand adventure of life and so on, and so on, and so on. But let me ask you this, gworl.
One great thing about Krittika is indeed something that most people would say about it based on its public-facing popstrology descriptions. The nakshatra of the knife, cutting insight, sharp mental faculties, getting right to the point, slicing through falsehood and illusion and bullshit to get to the truth, etc. And so, in the spirit of Krittika, let’s get to the point.
Are you, as a woman, having fun dealing with this world? Are you having fun dealing with… males? Is this “cosmic dance” between the sexes as advertised?
I mean, take for example any random male on the street. Talk to them. What is the probability that you’ll have an interesting conversation? The most you’ll be able to talk to them about is the weather or some other mundane shit like where they’re from or what their ethnicity is. The split into duality manages to create such an awful, horrifying world that is somehow also so mind-numbingly boring.
Krittika males are very much into stuff that are stereotypically associated with males. “Logical” thinking, mathematics, the written word. These are listed in the classic texts as being associated with Krittika. The written word thing is particularly true (only in spiritual contexts, I must add), where Krittika males are completely obsessed with the written spiritual word, instead of the true essence behind the word. Things like the Bible and all other types of written religious texts fall under the domain of Krittika. This is the nakshatra of the priesthood, Brahmins, “sacred” rituals, mantras, stotras, religious rites, Puritanism, general organized religion… All that famously fun stuff.
Go pick up or Google the Book of Numbers from the Old Testament and read just the first page. Are you having fun?
This is the core essence of what Krittika is, especially with regard to males. Some of the most boring, depthless males you will ever meet are of this very nakshatra. Males who are always catching the game, cracking open a cold one, going hunting in the woods, talking about which football team they think is gonna win next season, objectifying women, taking millions of pictures of themselves holding a fish on a boat… this is the Krittika male. This is the male that you’ve heard of as being the other half of this “cosmic dance” of the story of the adventure of the tale of the universe. This is your dance partner.
Krittika women aren’t that much better. I mean yeah there is a Krittika woman archetype that is interesting (which is that of the Krittika woman who is adept at the verbal art of dragging a bitch), but by and large, Krittika women are very traditional and stereotypical. Honestly they might be more of a trad-wife than even Hasta women. I mean just think about that.
And if you wanted to blame all of this on civilization and went out into nature and the great outdoors to have fun, you’ll see that it really isn’t all that either. Just as the male-female dichotomy is romanticized, this material world is also romanticized by the various religious texts as being “God’s Wonderful Creation”. If you went into the Amazon rainforest right now, with no material possessions from the modern world, would you be having fun? You would be suffering immensely at first, and if you managed to come up with a means of survival, surviving would just turn into another routine. Boredom. If you went into a desert with nothing, you’d quickly get bored too. You can only stare at sand for so long before you lose your mind. “God’s Wonderful Creation” isn’t as advertised either.
My point here is that existence in society or nature both fall under the umbrella of “God’s Wonderful Creation”. At the end of the day you have to eke out a living and survive to stay on one side of the Alive-Not Alive dichotomy. You generally either 1. Struggle or 2. Are bored. After a while you’ll start wondering what the point of it all is.
This very concept of the same old boring shit also known as dualistic existence is brought to you by the dualistic foundation formed in none other than Krittika.
So, yeah, why would you wanna talk about Krittika?