♡ neurodiverse ♡

[ s // 24 // female // aspie + adhd ] side blog dedicated to rants about life with autism and adhd.

[cwote]

People will judge you regardless of what you do. You might as well be judged doing something you care about. 

[aspieprincess]

one of my friends recently moved to a really beautiful city, and since i miss them and also want to see the city i booked a trip to go there next month. the only problem is that my friend is really busy at work and might not be able to hang out, so i thought i’d book a tour with them as my guide (which is their job) so i could see them, but seeing as i don’t want to cross any boundaries or impose myself on them, i wanted to ask them if it was okay before booking anything.

now the only problem is that they’re not the best at replying to texts, so i can’t ask yet, but i also can’t book any of the other activities i really want to do while i’m there because i’d need a date for the tour first to avoid clashes.

so i’m not able to plan anything yet, and not being able to pre-plan stuff well in advance stresses me out so much! because i like to have my plans mapped out in my head wayyy before they actually need to happen (which i’m sure a lot of you guys can relate to 🙈)

[aspieprincess]

so, i’ve recently discovered that i have a really unfortunate tedency to hyperfocus on people i really like, kind of like how you’d hyperfocus on special interests... it wouldn’t be a problem if it wasn’t for the fact that most people (especially NTs) don’t really know how to handle that kind of intense attention from someone, so they often tend to kinda shut off and withdraw, which leaves me feeling rejected and depressed. but at least now that i’ve realized this, i might be able to do something about it so i don’t scare off anymore people that i really really like talking to 🙈

[everythingfox]

i’m crying this is so cute

[aspieprincess]

has anyone else noticed that neurotypicals are usually absolutely awful at direct communication?

like yeah, they’re good at reading and understanding the types of indirect communication we (autistic individuals) often overlook or spend years trying to learn, but it seems like a lot of them are kinda scared of just straight up saying what they’re thinking or feeling... apparently they’re scared of being ostrasized or excluded from social communities if they actually communicate their needs, which i think is both interesting and sad.

this is one of the reasons i appreciate my autism. i like that it makes me good at direct, yet calm and constructive communication. i don’t know if anyone else feels like this too, but i really wish it was possible to teach NTs the value of direct, honest, constructive communication, so they wouldn’t have to rely so heavily on communicating through signals that may easily be misinterpreted... plus it would make it easier for us too because we wouldn’t have to spend so much energy on analyzing their behaviour.

[bee-fox]

I'd like to add to this that as the autistic in my friend group, 90% of the time communication issues end up at my feet cause my solution is "literally talk. Tell them exactly what you told me. How is this hard for you I'm meant to be the one bad at communication"

I may suck at sarcastic but I rock at conflict resolution

[aspieprincess]

i definitely have this role in my current friend group as well! there was a quite a big falling out between some of my friends recently due to lack of proper communication, and since they still refuse to just straight up tell the other person what the issue is, i’ve had to adopt kind of a mediator role...

[aspieprincess]

does anyone else have like ‘lowkey’ special interests, that you don’t realize you’re apparently super into and have tons of knowledge about, until someone asks a question about it and you unintentionally infodump all these facts you didn’t realize you had saved in your brain???

if yes, what’s the interest?

[aspieprincess]

has anyone else noticed that neurotypicals are usually absolutely awful at direct communication?

like yeah, they’re good at reading and understanding the types of indirect communication we (autistic individuals) often overlook or spend years trying to learn, but it seems like a lot of them are kinda scared of just straight up saying what they’re thinking or feeling... apparently they’re scared of being ostrasized or excluded from social communities if they actually communicate their needs, which i think is both interesting and sad.

this is one of the reasons i appreciate my autism. i like that it makes me good at direct, yet calm and constructive communication. i don’t know if anyone else feels like this too, but i really wish it was possible to teach NTs the value of direct, honest, constructive communication, so they wouldn’t have to rely so heavily on communicating through signals that may easily be misinterpreted... plus it would make it easier for us too because we wouldn’t have to spend so much energy on analyzing their behaviour.

[aspieprincess]

it seems a lot of people agree with this, which is pretty interesting!

some of the comments have also made me realize that what’s perceived as ‘awkwardness’ by NTs (ie. overexplaining, blabbering on, talking in circles, etc.) is a really important tool neurodiverse people tend to use to avoid confusion and misunderstanding when NTs think we’re being rude by being direct.

at least that would explain why i literally never shut up when i try to explain something or when i forget to filter my directness 😂 anyone else do that?

[aspieprincess]

has anyone else noticed that neurotypicals are usually absolutely awful at direct communication?

like yeah, they’re good at reading and understanding the types of indirect communication we (autistic individuals) often overlook or spend years trying to learn, but it seems like a lot of them are kinda scared of just straight up saying what they’re thinking or feeling... apparently they’re scared of being ostrasized or excluded from social communities if they actually communicate their needs, which i think is both interesting and sad.

this is one of the reasons i appreciate my autism. i like that it makes me good at direct, yet calm and constructive communication. i don’t know if anyone else feels like this too, but i really wish it was possible to teach NTs the value of direct, honest, constructive communication, so they wouldn’t have to rely so heavily on communicating through signals that may easily be misinterpreted... plus it would make it easier for us too because we wouldn’t have to spend so much energy on analyzing their behaviour.

[thelatestkate]

September 2019 Illustrations  ヽ(• ‿ •)ノ

[aspieprincess]

idk about you guys, but i find dating and anything related to it so confusing!

like i’m generally quite good at inter-personal relations with allistics when it comes to friendships and other casual things where you kind of know how much you should expect and how much you can expect from the other person, but when it comes to any kind of possible romantic relation, i’m at a complete loss. i can never figure out how much i can and should expect from the other person, and i’m always terrified of overwhelming them and scaring them away because i like them so much (which has happened so many times that it’s made me scared of showing any interest at all now), and it’s so frustrating!

i hate the games that come with dating and flirting; ignoring texts to not seem eager, or pretending like you don’t wanna hang out with them even though they’re all you can think about. it would be so much easier if we could just be like “we both like each other, and would like to start dating, so how about we find a way to make it happen” but if you do that now, the other person might lose interest because you’re ‘too available’ which is apparently just as bad (if not worse) than being ‘too emotionally unavailable’, so it’s like this super fine balance of showing interest but not too much interest, and it is EXHAUSTING! especially when you already struggle with social bonds because then you end up overanalyzing every single thing you do, and if it doesn’t work out you probably end up blaming yourself for doing something wrong.

at least that’s what i do...

[witch-boy-666]

how to explain to people that “you don’t seem autistic” is not a compliment

[pinksalmons]

[wodneswynn-deactivated-deactiva]

Hey, don’t forget to tone it down taupe for allism awareness this month.

Millions, possibly billions of people suffer from the tragic disease that is allism and they deserve to be recognized by us normal people until a cure is finally found.

[authumor]

[lesbianbrucewayne]

the only thing i’m really passionate about is enjoying my special interests and being with my dog

[clummyhood]

controversial statement of the day: lack of diverse representation hurts everyone in the community represented.

important side note: aside from making unrepresented individuals feel invalid, lack of diverse representation also helps perpetuate inaccurate (and often harmful) stereotypes, which results in hurtful stigmatization used to supress and undermine entire groups and communities.

[bethansrps]

let’s not forget that girls with autism tend to hide their symptoms, which is very emotionally damning for us. is it so bad that we want to see little things like that which we wouldn’t see in a cishet white autistic character? the point of representation for people with disabilities is about feeling understood, as well as included.   

[warm-positivity-deactivated2022]