Uniquely Abled

I have Chronic Illnesses => Spoonie Lyme Disease & Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) I have Asperger’s Syndrome => Aspie Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) I’m just a person trying to figure out myself, including diseases and disabilities.

[adhdteacherthings]

Having conflicting labels is weird and confusing and puts everything in a weird light.

For example, I was labeled “gifted” as a kid and diagnosed with ADHD as an adult. As a result, I learned to overvalue and undervalue different parts of myself, and it distorts my overall sense of self. That might sound a bit extreme, but let me explain what I mean.

If something was easy for me as a kid, I would think, “well yeah, it’s supposed to be easy for you because you’re gifted and smart.” If something was hard, I would think, “This isn’t supposed to be hard, you’re supposed to be gifted! You need to try harder/do better/BE better because you should be able to do this easily!”

And honestly, framing everything through the light of “my main positive attribute is invalidated when something is hard” or “you’re not allowed to celebrate this success because it’s meaningless if it’s expected of you anyway” really just… sucks. You lose either way.

Compound this with the fact that many “easy” things are hard for a person with ADHD, and you’ve got a recipe for a horribly distorted self image and sense of self worth. I struggled with organization, planning, sustaining my attention, starting my work, finishing my work, remembering items, and memorizing information. You know, the basic requirements of secondary school that intelligence cannot make up for. I didn’t even find out I had ADHD until I was an adult, and by then I had already formed this dysfunctional way of framing things. I just thought that some things were just really hard for me, and I was livid because I was convinced they shouldn’t be hard for “someone like me.”

To this day I still don’t know what I’m good at and what my strengths are. I’ve trained myself to underestimate everything that I do well and overestimate everything I do poorly, and even with this self-awareness, I still can’t undo the distortion that I created for myself as a kid. It’s the same distortion that teachers and parents helped create for me when they overvalued me for being “gifted” at the expense of all else.

I am “gifted” and I have ADHD, and maybe one day I can reconcile those two parts of me and learn how to value my strengths.

[aspiespoonielymie]

Where are the autistic women?

I don’t think I’ve ever met a woman that I knew was Autistic.

I was identified with Asperger’s in the 90s. Women and girls have historically been under diagnosed, and autism has such a stigma surrounding it in our culture. I follow a lot of social media pages that deal with these issues.

But I don’t know another autistic woman who I could bounce these ideas off.

I’m sure I had to have met some, and there are one or two I can think of who might have set off the radar, but no one that I am friends with.

I have the friend that tells me the truth, the one cousin who understands family drama, the friend who shares my career, but I don’t have a friend that shares my autism.

It concerns me that maybe I have pushed away the most autistic peers because I often avoid the qualities that I don’t accept in myself.

I’ve been dealing with a lot of coming to terms with my autism this year, and I really want another autistic female friend to talk this over with, so I guess I’m on a hunt for one to happen across.

[aspiespoonielymie]

I feel like I had my autism mask ripped away today. I disclosed to my doctor about my diagnosis, which was verbal and never documented. She said “oh I know you have autism”.

Now I know that doctors are supposed to ID the warning signs for autism. But I have only been with this GP for a few years, and especially with the pandemic I don’t go a bunch.

I just felt so exposed right then and there. I thought I masked my autism pretty well. I have never had anyone notice and say something. I’m sure people have seen the signs, but they never told me that. Especially as I’ve gotten older, I don’t have as many triggers as I did as a child.

I am trying to be more accepting of my autism identity, especially as I’ve been working with kids on the spectrum for years now. I’ve been owning the effect that autism has on me more in the last few years, disclosing to a few people. But I’m not ‘out’ in general.

I am working on my own stuff, but until I’m comfortable being out, I don’t like feeling vulnerable

[aspiespoonielymie]

Had the front door open, screen door shut, because it’s almost summer, and I was waiting on a delivery.

Someone knocked on the door, and it wasn’t Amazon. She was a friend of my roommate, and that roommate was sleeping. She had been in a mood all day. And I let sleeping beasts sleep.

She woke up and I told her that a friend had left a treat for her. She got very upset that I hadn’t woken her; apparently she hadn’tseen this friend in a while because COVID.

Here’s the thing, I’m autistic! And honestly I do not do well in spontaneous situations. If the main door had been closed, I would not have even answered. Talking with random people in masks on my doorstep is not exactly a good time. So sorry I didn’t wake you up, next time leave a list of appropriate waking up reasons.

Autism Rant Over

[aspiespoonielymie]

I interrupted a story yesterday, because I thought the other person was done speaking.

Please tell me you guys do it too

[aspiespoonielymie]

I tried to wink today 😉

I’ve never been able to coordinate a wink. I’ve only ever blinked. 😌

Today I thought I finally had it. I thought I finally winked. I did it! 😉

My mom said she knew what I was trying, but it kind of looked like a seizure 🥴

She gave me A for effort, haha

[aspiespoonielymie]

In my house, we aren’t allowed to sing out loud during a Disney singalong, because it interrupts the tv...

I tried to explain you have to sing ‘I’ll Make a Man Out of You’, it’s like a reflex.

I had to mouth it silently...

Get me out of this quarantine!

[kpfun]

Spider-Man taking a drink on set

It’s an interesting contraption, to say the least. Basically, my eyes in my mask, they clip off. They come off, ‘cause they’re glass, and obviously, the suit is fabric, and they need to clip in. And what I can do is I can take my left one out, and there’s a little thing I pull out, and then I put a tube, a squeezy tube, down into my mouth, and then I can drink from a bottle. —Tom Holland

[aspiespoonielymie]

If actor Tom Holland can deal with this while wearing a mask,

You can wear a half face mask to the grocery store

[annesmiless]

Some eaiser variations of push ups to help you build the strength to do a traditional one!

[moniquill]

I don’t generally reblog ‘fitness’ stuff but gaddamn could I use some more arm strength.

[the-goddamazon-deactivingsoon-d]

Push-ups are my worst nightmare. I can only do 44 before I pass out on the floor.

[maxxiegalaxy-deactivated2022032]

“I can only do 44” hahaha omg I can’t even do one.

[o-lascaux-o]

yes good

I was always frustrated how my P.E. teachers wanted all of us to go “all-or-none” and basically hurt ourselves without letting us build up from square-one like in the first gif.  Then they’d fuckin yell at us for not doing it right >:|

Knee-pushups is not square-one.

[arkilliandragon]

When I got my first personal trainer, she had me doing push ups almost standing upright in the weight lifting bars so that I could do 15 reps and 3 sets of them. It’s more about the technique of the push up, and if you’re pushing too much weight, you can’t exersize the correct muscles within their tolerances. This post is pretty important tto know cause of that.

[jhameia]

I was introduced to the knee push-up last year and it was such a fucking game changer. I had NO idea it was possible to work those same muscles just with a slight variation in position. 

[personal-scientist]

I wanna just verify that these are excellent for building strength, both as someone who took weights class in high school with a good teacher, and as someone who’s had a lifetime of physical therapy (not for my arms specifically, but I’ve spent a lot of time in sports medicine centers). And again, if the vertical one in the first gif is difficult, you don’t even have to lean into it like that. Start standing, and only lean as much as it takes you to lower towards the wall.

And remember, many exercises can be modified in this way! I did an image search for “modified pull up” and got exactly what I was looking for right away, which is this:

Doing pull ups on a lower bar, or from the straps with handles that gyms sometimes have (called the TRX - they can also be used to support yourself during squats and some balance exercises) is a lot easier than jumping straight into vertical pullups, and lets you build up that muscle with exercises that are still comfortable and safe for you, so you can do more sets of more reps.

As a general rule, always start with lower-strain exercises and practice good form before you work your way up. You don’t want to have to unlearn bad habits that could lead to injury later as the difficulty increases.

[jecook]

@imfemalewarrior I’m assuming you’ve seen this post but in case you haven’t—it seems like your kind of thing

[imfemalewarrior]

Here are push up and pull up progressions! 

-FemaleWarrior, She/They 

[peppervl]

Because I have serious issues with core strength and cannot do a sit up or a crunch without using muscles I shouldn’t and hurting myself, I looked up core exercises for beginners (because modified sit ups just have me ways to make it harder), and here’s what I found.

All from here, which also includes sit ups with the idea that you start up and don’t go all the way down.

[rosslynpaladin]

This stuff on the bottom is some of the stuff I do for physical therapy, can vouch for it

[autisticspecialeducator]

Take care of yourselves y'all

[aspiespoonielymie]

I honestly never thought about these concepts, even though I’ve had tons of PT over the years. But I would feel so much more successful doing angled pushups or partial sit-ups, and building repetitions, than trying to do traditional exercises and failing after a few tries.

As someone with health issues, I know that I need to take care of myself. I like the idea of working out, but it is often so intimidating. Getting these beginner options is great, and I wish I learned this in school.

Disclaimer: Always check with physician and/or training professionals so you don’t hurt yourself.

[aspiespoonielymie]

I feel like autism associates with divergent to me. I mean we call it neuroDIVERGENT.

But we don’t fit into the clean boxes. We have areas of excelling and areas where we struggle; these areas have so much range from highest highs to lowest lows, but we don’t average out.

We show different ways of thinking, going outside of the box and changing our views. We are the divergent.

Unfortunately, there is another parallel to this series, which makes better sense if you’ve read the books. We as autistics are often treated like the factionless, flunking out of traditional testing, being marginalized, and forced into a victim role.

But I see our power. Divergents were the people who transcended the system, and I think they show how broken the divisions are

[aspiespoonielymie]

I think the best part of this quarantine is that everyone is forced into social isolation.

When I got sick and kicked off my chronic illness journey, I was isolated to my bed and abandoned by my friends.

If people think this is bad, try it when nobody has time or desire to check on you.

[scardycathorror]

So I’m currently watching Crip Camp and the only thing I can think of is why the fuck aren’t what these people did being taught in schools. We learn all about the fight for gender and racial equality and I literally had one teacher say that they do this so kids to today can remember and look up to the people who fought for their rights. What about the people who fought for my rights? The history books only ever cover the ADA signing they show the picture sitting with two disabled individuals signing the bill. And they act like their was no fight to get that I honestly thought the protesting was so minimal that their was no need to cover it cause it wasn’t a huge fight like the fight for racial equality. I didn’t know that there were marches and people going hunger strikes so and other disabled people can access the world. So thank you to the people that fought so I could live thank you.

[aspiespoonielymie]

With all this Corona craziness, everyone is trying their best to be strong, but just remember you can be strong while still feeling sad.

Yes there are a lot of BIG problems right now, but that doesn’t invalidate the ‘small’ problems.

It’s okay to be sad about that cute preschool pageant that got cancelled.

You can be disappointed that you won’t see the concert your child has been practicing all year. You can feel bittersweet about the graduation that isn’t quite the same. You can feel frustrated that your wedding was so close and had to be postponed. These and more can all be majorly upsetting and that is okay.

Yes, there are major problems of supplies, unemployment, and of course infection. But it’s okay if you are feeling affected by these other problems.

I agree with the isolation, and I want to do whatever is needed to make COVID-19 pass and let people heal. But I can also be upset that my family cannot gather together on Easter. You can be strong and still sad, and that’s okay.

[andthenweloved]

“Because of this culture of explanations, it is also safe in Autistisc cultural circles to openly proclaim that you do not understand a thing, or get a joke, or know what something is. This is not only safe but common practice. “What is that?”, may be a response to a pictorial post, or “I don’t understand the politics”, or “Is this real?”. The person posting this in an Autistic enviroment does not need to worry about getting flamed for being a n00b, but rather will need to worry about the number of explanations that may appear in the inbox if Facebook or whatever the social network is being used is set to receive individually.”

— From Autistic Community and Cuture: Silent Hands No More by Elizabeth J. Grace from the book Loud Hands: Autistic People, Speaking

[andthenweloved]

“Finding the online Autistic community and its attendant culture has been so life-affirming and the opposite of silencing to me to me that it has enabled me to come out of my shell socially in the dominant culture as I have practiced having friendlier social skills online and then taking them into Real Life.”

— From Autistic Community and Cuture: Silent Hands No More by Elizabeth J. Grace from the book Loud Hands: Autistic People, Speaking

[aspiespoonielymie]

This feels so true to my experience. I have started to own my autism and disclose to people over the last few years. Yes it is because I am older and understand better, but I think it is mostly because of the online support I have found through being a spoonie and an aspie

[madfendiva]

[autisticjoy]

you’re not supposed to magically know if someone is disabled or not and change your behavior appropriately, you’re just supposed to not be ableist