Aspyn

they/them

[funstyle]

Im always like "i will not add my two cents. i will not add my two cents" but i cant lie the pennies are getting sweaty in my hand

[triassictriserratops]

so we kid about Shane and baby's first chirp, but Shane IS a good chirper! He IS.

"So what, just a bunch of Finnish guys talking about the cousins they're in love with?" - Sideswipe at Finland for no reason! Presenting this grade a chirp to his crush like a penguin with a pebble! 1221/10 blowjob worthy chirp

"You'll look great in silver, Vaughny, don't even stress." The bro-yness! The swagger! 12/10 - excellent chirp!

"Jeez, Hayden, you wanna get me pregnant too? I don't think I'm ready. I think I've still got some good hockey left in me." The chirp that launched 1000 mpreg fics. 81/10

The point here is that Shane is:

☝🏽funny

and

✌🏽bitchy

and I think it's important that we remember that!

[kalinara]

I still say that the "will you disappoint them?" "Nope" is Shane's greatest chirp of all.

Because there's nothing that will get to Ilya Rozanov more than a complete non-reaction.

An insult? Shane practiced that. Ignoring him? Then clearly he got under Shane's skin.

But that casual little "nope" that could be an answer to anyone: Ilya, Scott Hunter, some guy on the street?

Ilya's going to seethe on that for the whole damn night.

(Another runner up is "I'll listen if he actually catches up" to the press. That one is great too.)

[triassictriserratops]

Yesssss to BOTH of these!

put some respect on my man's name! he can talk shit like the rest of them! His are just quietly devastating. He says JUST enough to fuck with you.

[shanehollanderholee]

i knowwww a lot of people hate this and want it removed in season 2 but no chairs at the wedding is so dear to me just the concept of a whole house full of wealthy hockey players and celebrities and they have to sit on the lawn because at the end of the day they’re attending a wedding between two male athletes who truly don’t give a fuck about anything except hockey and being in love

[lazylittledragon]

ok friends i desperately need you to know that project hail mary is so good that i bought the book and planned a tattoo the day after i saw it

[lazylittledragon]

late to the party but at least he showed up :'))

[pt 1][pt 2][pt 3][pt 4][pt 5][pt 6][pt 7][pt 8][pt 9][pt 10][pt 11]

[wildandgreen]

robby can lash out in self-hatred and be a misogynist at the same time. robby can be written to be purposefully hypocritical and incidentally misogynistic at the same time. robby can be suffering from ptsd and be a misogynist at the same time. “actually the point is he’s lashing out because he sees himself in samira and hates it” correct. AND he’s being misogynistic while he’s at it

[livijoyann]

A timeline of Ilya and Shane's relationship as it goes public, so post-The Long Game. Enjoy!

[lazylittledragon]

sitting in the waiting room of a private medical clinic for the first time for Reasons and i feel like i’m in the hunger games

[lazylittledragon]

first impressions: couldn’t even find the place at first because the doors are basically hidden and there are no signs outside. so the poor can’t get in obviously

also there’s a water cooler

[lazylittledragon]

update: it’s not a water cooler it’s an electric machine that dispenses water

[lazylittledragon]

i feel myself getting even further radicalised with every passing second

[lazylittledragon]

ok i wish i was making this up but the girl next to me just pulled a brand new fucking chanel handbag out of a gift bag

[lazylittledragon]

final update: doctor was lovely and everything went fine but i hope to never do that again

[heatedarchive]

The only thing stopping Shane Hollander from being open about his sex life with his close friends is that it would out him. As soon as they know he's gay? Shane Hollander, who chose to make a joke about how much he likes bottoming immediately after acknowledging he's not straight for the first time, during a breakup conversation in a public place? He would be a fucking menace

[escapepodding]

After Hollanov are out I want Shane to get the reputation of the greatest lay in North America. Like, its Helen of Troy and Shane Hollander, hand in hand bewitching people. Ilya may be Russia and the MLH's Greatest Love Machine, but Shane's dick got that man moving to Ottawa. I want the insane money Boston offered to get Ilya to stay leaked and everyone looking at Shane like 👁👄👁

People staring at Shane in the streets like Aphrodite walked past and Ilya is so mad because HE was the one who laid down mad pipe so good Shane married HIM. (He is that good but Ilya got him so there stop staring!)

[nightmarerodent]

I like to think that after being outed and moving to the Ottawa Centaurs, Shane’s reputation doesn’t so much as take a hit as it does evolve, seemingly overnight, from Canadian Golden Boy that can do no wrong to Hockey Siren that charmed and seduced his competition. He goes from Boy Next Door to Dangerous Heartthrob. Everyone wants a piece of him. Teenaged girls start calling him daddy. Thirst edits are everywhere. All those photo shoots he’s done are popping back up again. The internet is feral.

Harris is very thankful the man is never online because he knows Shane would be embarrassed by all the attention.

Ilya is five seconds away from posting a sex tape to remind everyone his man IS TAKEN!

[freckledhollander]

the take floating around rn of hollanov not having kids and shane instead training rookies so him and ilya just kind of have an entourage of insane hockey teenagers at all times...mmmm delicious

[academicblorbo]

The concept of Shane "Nobody Must Know I'm Gay" Hollander being so distracted by Ilya kissing a woman that didn't notice an entire man grinding on his ass

[aspynisnotatree]

I don't know what I expected when I started dating an autistic youtuber but yesterday I spent an hour sitting in the car with him waiting to see if a train would come so he can get footage he needs for his next video. And then we got ice cream

Peak date I'd say

[buffyandwillow]

this was supposed to be a simple comic and then it took endless hours to finish rip. i love their summer flirting across timezones.

i also cross-posted to ao3 if you'd like to leave a comment!

based on something tim stützle said about training with claude giroux:

"I mean, we go at it in the summer, too. Last summer he texted me at like 9PM German time. He texted me, hey can you go run 5k for me, because I wanna, like, check times, and he knows I'm probably better than him, so he wanted to push himself. And I went to the gym at like 9PM and ran 5k for him, and I beat him pretty good and he wasn't too happy about it. He didn't believe me, so."

[gayhockeyshowenjoyer]

maybe this isn't a very hot take but i just have to say it actually makes perfect sense to me that hollanov face the problem of nobody understanding what shane sees in ilya. like ilya is an asshole. he loooooves being an asshole. thats part of his charm. but he's also good enough at hockey that he can get away with being an asshole. like you can't be mad at the guy for saying he's gonna score 50 goals when does in fact go on to score 50 fucking goals. he knows what he's about and shane is into it. and that in itself is something we can't expect the likes of hayden pike to understand.

but ALSO ilya is sweet and kind and loving etc. but thats a side of him that is reserved for the bedroom. of course hayden can't imagine what shane sees in him. he's only sweet in private. he's only kind and loving when the act of intimacy allows him to be. yeah shane is into the highly competent asshole he plays against on the ice, but he falls for the enormously tender sweetheart who took his virginity while asking "is this okay?" the whole time. he falls for the version of ilya that no one else gets to see. so it shouldn't come as a surprise to him when his friends can't see it!!

[finelytaylored]

he was down SO BAD IMMEDIATELY

[finelytaylored]