i think about this video every day
And now I will as well
This means so much to me
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i think about this video every day
And now I will as well
This means so much to me
CUTENESS OVERLOAD. [source]
Susan Sontag,ย As Consciousness Is Harnessed to Flesh: Journals and Notebooks, 1964-1980
Itโs time to bring an end to the Rape Anthem Masquerading As Christmas Carol
Hi there! Former English nerd/teacher here. Also a big fan of jazz of the 30s and 40s.ย
So. Hereโs the thing. Given a cursory glance and applying todayโs worldview to the song, yes, youโre right, it absolutely *sounds*ย like a rape anthem.ย
BUT! Letโs look closer!ย
โHey whatโs in this drinkโ was a stock joke at the time, and the punchline was invariably that thereโs actually pretty much nothing in the drink, not even a significant amount of alcohol.
See, this woman is staying late, unchaperoned, at a dudeโs house. In the 1940โs, thatโs the kind of thing Good Girls arenโt supposed to do โ and she wants people to think sheโs a good girl. The woman in the song says outright, multiple times, that what other people will think of her staying is what sheโs really concerned about: โthe neighbors might think,โ โmy maiden auntโs mind is vicious,โ โthereโs bound to be talk tomorrow.โ But sheโs having a really good time, and she wants to stay, and so she is excusing her uncharacteristically bold behavior (either to the guy or to herself) by blaming it on the drink โ unaware that the drink is actually really weak, maybe not even alcoholic at all. Thatโs the joke. That is the standard joke thatโs going on when a woman in media from the early-to-mid 20th century says โhey, whatโs in this drink?โ It is not a joke about how sheโs drunk and about to be raped. Itโs a joke about how sheโs perfectly sober and about to have awesome consensual sex and use the drink for plausible deniability because sheโs living in a society where women arenโt supposed to have sexual agency.
Basically, the song only makes sense in the context of a society in which women are expected to reject menโs advances whether they actually want to or not, and therefore itโs normal and expected for a ladyโs gentleman companion to pressure her despite her protests, because he knows she would have to say that whether or not she meant it, and if she really wants to stay she wonโt be able to justify doing so unless he offers her an excuse other than โIโm staying because I want to.โ (Thatโs the main theme of the manโs lines in the song, suggesting excuses she can use when people ask later why she spent the night at his house: it was so cold out, there were no cabs available, he simply insisted because he was concerned about my safety in such awful weather, it was perfectly innocent and definitely not about sex at all!) In this particular case, heโs pretty clearly right, because the woman has a voice, and sheโs using it to give all the culturally-understood signals that she actually does want to stay but canโt say so. She states explicitly that sheโs resisting because sheโs supposed to, not because she wants to: โI ought to say no no noโฆโ She states explicitly that sheโs just putting up a token resistance so sheโll be able to claim later that she did whatโs expected of a decent woman in this situation: โat least Iโm gonna say that I tried.โ And at the end of the song theyโre singing together, in harmony, because theyโre both on the same page and they have been all along.
So itโs not actually a song about rape - in fact itโs a song about a woman finding a way to exercise sexual agency in a patriarchal society designed to stop her from doing so. But itโs also, at the same time, one of the best illustrations of rape culture that pop culture has ever produced. Itโs a song about a society where women arenโt allowed to say yesโฆwhich happens to mean itโs also a society where women donโt have a clear and unambiguous way to say no.
remember loves: context is everything. and personal opinion matters. If you still find this song to be a problem, thatโs fine. But please donโt make it into something itโs not because itโs been stripped of cultural context.
This is actually really interesting. Iโve never known a lot of the background to this song.
Making its annual rounds
Is My Anxiety Making My Stomach Sick or is My Sick Stomach Making Me Anxious: A Short Biography
Sophie Turner outtakes photographed by Dima Hohlov for The Edit. ๐ธ More outtakes from this photoshoot.
When your neurodivergent brainโข๏ธ decides that you have to do a certain thing before doing anything else but you donโt want to or canโt do the thing so you get stuck and do nothing
ALL ๐๐พ OF ๐๐พ THEM ๐๐พ
This post goes harder than any post has ever gone before.
me talking to myself: good point
the fact that some painted bats in Thailand naturally come in orange and black Halloween colors makes me so happy you dont understand
the ultimate spook boisย
โI am still learning how to ask for what I deserve without it also sounding like an apology.โ
โ Rachel Wiley, from Nothing is Okay
By Lynda Barryย May 2016
Every time I see this I love it more