see you, space cowboy

au blog for HLVRAI where Gordon is stranded on an alien planet, run by danny-has-a-main. TW for body horror and slight unreality down the line

[astro-vrai]

SEE YOU, SPACE COWBOY

Astro-vrai, or ASTROVRAI, is a HLVRAI AU where Gordon was sent into space for an experiment on isolation. Alyx Vance, Barney Calhoun, and YOU, THE READER, are A.I. that help him around the ship and keep him from losing his mind. Run by danny-has-a-main. TW for body horror and slight unreality down the line, though I’ll put warnings for anything involving those when they come up.

READ FROM THE BEGINNING: https://astro-vrai.tumblr.com/tagged/astrovrai/chrono 

RECAP: TBA

FAQ: TBA

RULES: 

-No nsfw asks

-I reserve the right to not use any asks I want, though usually I won’t do that

-No magic anons, this is a story based blog.

-If you end your message with something like -DJ the characters may address you as such, and I will tag all asks with signatures. If no signature is used and its anonymous, it will be tagged ‘nonny’

[astro-vrai]

Do you two have information slurping powers. Can I say kangaroo and you know what that is bc Gordon knows it

“what the fuck is that”

[astro-vrai]

(i ask for asks to progress the story and then immediatly fall into a creative rut, im so sorry but such is life. love yall, though!)

[astro-vrai]

(authors note, friends! this blog is totally ask-based, so i dont know what direction yall want this blog to go without asks -taps my fingers together-)

[astro-vrai]

If there were bears here I would simply punch it because I’m built different

“You literally ARE built different, you’re an AI in a spaceship.”

[astro-vrai]

How the hell does an alien even know what a bear is? -🧸

“Pr, uh, proof in action we aren’t aliens! We’re just soft friendly humans who live here on this planet, this one that-”

“the planet that gordos here exploded the fuck up on. we’re just trying to figure out what happened.”

“I am... A little bit startled by the fact that you know what bears are, which implies there’s bears here?”

“haha nah”

[astro-vrai]

I say we at least give these guys the benefit of doubt. If they wanted to hurt Gordon they probably would have by now. Besides, look at them! They’re so cute! Who knew alien life would be so adorable? -🧸 Snuggle nonny

“see? win. total success! bros for life!”

“It’s, we didn’t hurt Mr. Freeman at all! And, really, everyone here is cute I think!”

“Compliments can only get you so far, and I’m starting to think Barney and I aren’t on the same wavelength as everyone else here....”

[astro-vrai]

So if you come from outside is there any potential dangers ya can enlighten us about?

“I give up... Benrey’s spilling secrets left and right like a uh, like a broken soda fountain. It’s his right to, I guess but.”

“no bro listen listen listen. we’re all a great cool here, we might as well do some trades. tat for tit.”

“...Tit for tat?”

Benrey completely ignores Gordon’s interjection, and steamrolls on.

“we’re real fuckin’ good at not dying. yknow bears? the big fuzzy four legged things? we’re better than them. god mode l33t hax no-clip thru them type of better.”

“I don’t think those words mean what you think they mean, pal.”

[astro-vrai]

So, wait, Tommy, Benrey, if you two are “human”, where’d you two even come from?

“outside”

[astro-vrai]

I care these aliens very much

“win.”

[astro-vrai]

Why exactly are you two here, anyways? What’s your goal?

“i mean, dyou want the honest answer? cuz this ship looks interesting as hell and i wanna fuck around and find out.”

“Whyyy are you like thiiis....”

“.....Suspicious.”

[astro-vrai]

// Hello friends! I was going to post this yesterday but nobody would have believed me. I have plans in motion to return to this blog! Sorry for the accidental hiatus, a lot of real life stuff went down in the past half year, up to and including a death in the family and serious life changes, but everything has more or less settled for now!

I'll be working on some ~new sprites~ and then hopefully everything will be back in motion//

[astro-vrai]

okay, this is a whole lot to take in, but, like, how do we get Gordon home, or call for help? any luck we’ve got any spare radio antenna lying around?

“I’m s’posed to be the one who contacts home for help but I’ve been essentially kicked off all internet access. Dunno if it’s a problem with the ship itself or somethin’ else, the ship’s uh. Dug a 6 feet furrow in the ground of an alien planet. Plus there’s the issue of the airlock doors being busted, prooobably due to the two Entities who’ve decided to fuck with us for no reason.”

“nooooo we’re buds nooooow”

[astro-vrai]

So, Gordonnnn, you got, uh, helmet?

“Noooo not the helmet... I hate it so much. It’s uncomfortable as shit, looks like a bucket, and isn’t even fuckin’ airtight. It’s supposed to help keep my neck muscles strong or whatever but the suit does a good enough job WITHOUT the HELMET.” He continues mumbling about the helmet, and the others look at him with just a tinge of concern.

[astro-vrai]

don’t, don’t like that. Don’t like none of that. Well, uh, mr. Gordon, you’re our captain, what do we do?

“Tttttry not to die I guess! So far we’ve been very good at not dying and I’d prefer to keep it that way.”

[astro-vrai]

Well, this would be one bummer party if all you, you know, vivisected us. In fact, likewise, this would be significantly groovier if you DIDN’T rip us all apart, you dudes hear? -Groovemeister

“i’ll keep it in mind, Groovemeister.”

[astro-vrai]

black mesa didn’t even give us a swarm of locust like attack drones we can pilot and bury our foes under our writhing biting mass? cringe.

“I mean? Knowing you guys? You’d probably use the opportunity to shoot my ankles with little pellets. Wouldn’t do much, considering, but it’s the thought that counts.”