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run in the shadows 🎸ch 10

VETH: It was a few months after Kingsley had relapsed. Everyone was walking on eggshells, relationships were getting crossed and jumbled like clotheslines in a storm, me included. And, listen—I love Caleb with my whole heart, no matter what we are to each other, but back then, I was kind of split between my rock star life and my family, and Caleb was a part of that. It’s nothing that I haven’t said before in other interviews, but basically, I had a thing for him that I really needed to get rid of so I could stop feeling like I was stepping out on Yeza. So I slept with Fjord. INTERVIEWER: Math checks out. VETH: Shut up. Yeza was an angel about it, and Fjord’s just not a threat in general, so it was fine. Meanwhile, Fjord was in love with Jester but was fucking Kingsley and Caleb about it, and Caleb was trying to fuck Essek, who we were all fucking pissed at, so he was fucking Fjord and Kingsley as emotional surrogates. Both you and Caleb had a thing for Jester but wouldn’t compete with Fjord or each other. Caleb’s exes were showing up on the charts again, so he was as sad as he was horny. And then you were trying to fuck Yasha and Yasha was trying to fuck you but somehow neither of you got the signal, so you just kinda shuffled around each other like you both were trying to parallel-park a minivan in the same spot. Marion was going crazy trying to keep it all straight. CADUCEUS: I didn’t want any part of that mess. I just made tea and tried to counsel people.

Chapter: 10/30

Rating: E Fandom: Critical Role (Exandria) Ship: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast, implied Blumenshadow Word Count: 75,601 Tags: Epistolary, Oral History, Inspired by Daisy Jones & The Six, Rockstar AU, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Angst with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn, Political Intrigue, Court Drama, Drug Addiction, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Implied Underage Sexual Abuse, Warning: Trent Ikithon, Mental Illness, Verse Caleb Widogast, Verse Essek Thelyss

Content warnings for the fic are described in the tags and elaborated in the Author’s Note.

⋆ read on ao3 ⋆

#shadowgast #shadowgast fic #essek thelyss #critical role #caleb widogast #critical role fic #cr2 #the mighty nein #the mighty nein fic

utilitycaster

re my lovely mutual's opsec post there are some great comments and tags and you should go read them but I think the most big, obvious takeaway is that Thjazi was not being a withholding asshole who kept everyone in the dark for the sake of being a withholding asshole who kept everyone in the dark. He was part of a clandestine organization that was using the work of the Sundered Houses and House Tachonis in particular to try to address massive cosmological issues that, crucially, House Tachonis does not want addressed. The letter is in coded language - and crucially, it's not in a cipher (like the one Murray easily cracks) but rather uses oblique references that are difficult to understand if you don't already have the context, which most people only have because they have direct connections to Thjazi or to the things he was working on.

That doesn't mean that, for example, Hal is wrong to be frustrated and angry about this. But the directly stated framing for his anger about the paint in the Hallowed Round is specifically that the grief is really hitting him hard that night, and the barely subtextual implication is that he is grappling with the choices he had made that meant he was kept clear of all of Thjazi's dealings and which meant the last decade of his brother's life was one he was not particularly privy to. That is an incredibly emotionally complex statement that is ultimately about Hal's feelings about himself and his relationship with Thjazi than who Thjazi was. The idea that Thjazi was leaving an elaborate mess behind for everyone else out of carelessness, recklessness, or stupidity is simply untrue, and Mara makes it clear that he was simply captured at a very unfortunate time. [and, to be blunt, on a meta level that is the entire premise of the campaign, that Thjazi was killed for many reasons but one was that Primus Tachonis hoped this would reveal a plan the Cloak had otherwise kept fairly well hidden.]

faunlord

#right! exactly #characters feel the way they do about Thjazi not telling them #and Hal feels the way he did because he's forced to confront that his choices meant that he was not part of Thjazi's inner circle #through Hal's own choices! that his brother is dead and he suddenly learns and understands he was kept out of that brother's life's work #by NECESSITY because Hal chose not to be in Thjazi's confidence #Thjazi didn't withhold information from those in his personal life out of pride or ego or stupidity or solipsism or lack of forethought #neither are his plans only working now due to dumb unskilled luck nor was he forging forward only on the momentum of impulsive inspiration #Thjazi was a member of a secret organization working a clandestine operation. Everyone's safety depends on staying quiet. #The reason this operation continued for at minimum six years is because its members were discerning. #(Loose lips sink ships and it works the same for bridges.) #the question for especially Hal is: why did he feel I couldn't be trusted that way? why did he feel I needed to be kept at arm's length? #Thjazi and Mara are spies. The Professor is a spy. Teor is right to term Cyd a spy. #And it's right (in the story sense) for many characters to feel frustrated they were left out or not trusted. #That they are frustrated they have to decipher a spy's coded notes and find his hidden network while the timer counts down. #The truth is however this level of secrecy is required to protect not only the plan but also the network and the people outside of it. #And Thjazi didn't leave behind a mess per se. He left a work in progress that only those in his network knew the blueprints for. #And our protagonists are not part of his network. That's the story. The story is they're piecing together a well-hidden plan. #If the plan was easy to understand from Thjazi relaying 15 seconds of final words it would be also that easy for the Tachonis to uncover. #This man was in the business of espionage. There was a plan and intention and steps. Hidden intentionally to protect it. #A tapestry often looks messy from the reverse side. <- @captainofthetidesbreath’s tags.

#cr4 #cr4 spoilers

#game changer #game changer spoilers #critical role #cr4 #cr c4 #thimble cr #thaisha lloy #julien davinos

run in the shadows 🎸ch 9

WIDOGAST: The time away from him… He had his reasons, but it still felt as though all of our forgiveness had been dismissed. “Thank you for not turning me in to the Augen Trust, that is very kind of you. Here is the evidence of my gratitude: I am not going to pick up your calls or answer your texts for two calendar months.” When he did finally reach out, it was cold and perfunctory. On his terms, on his playing field, as if he still could not bring himself to trust us. What were we supposed to think? After everything he did? After all that we were willing to overlook? Who did he think he was? My heart was twisting itself into knots and nothing I did could make it stop. It was painful to even think of him. Avoidance was a balm. I would put myself to bed then awaken in a lake of sweat, having dreamt of him. My emotions were muddled, but one would always eventually surface above the others: sometimes terror, sometimes lust, sometimes a yearning so huge and slow I felt like it would take my soul. He thought he was doing a noble thing. I saw only cowardice. We were this close to ruination. I convinced myself that it was better for the both of us to forget each other, but I couldn’t very well do that when his face was on the only brand of chalk worth using.

Chapter: 9/30

Rating: E Fandom: Critical Role (Exandria) Ship: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast, implied Blumenshadow Word Count: 69,781 Tags: Epistolary, Oral History, Inspired by Daisy Jones & The Six, Rockstar AU, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Angst with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn, Political Intrigue, Court Drama, Drug Addiction, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Implied Underage Sexual Abuse, Warning: Trent Ikithon, Mental Illness, Verse Caleb Widogast, Verse Essek Thelyss

Content warnings for the fic are described in the tags and elaborated in the Author’s Note.

⋆ read on ao3 ⋆

#shadowgast #shadowgast fic #essek thelyss #critical role #caleb widogast #critical role fic #the mighty nein #the mighty nein fic

spottedenchants

Faves vs Popular tag game!

Thanks for the tag @talesofsymphoniac :D

Rules: Share your top 3 fics by either hits or kudos, followed by top 3 fics by personal favorite (and share where they do or don’t line up!)

Popular:

Of Course It Would Work AKA the wizards sleep and talk after T-Dock and Essek learns more about Caleb’s past

This one's consistently been my most kudosed fic since I posted it! I'm near the end of my c2 relisten and the nostalgia of writing this one in particular has been kicking in.

I Lean In and Kiss Him [Right Here] AKA five times Caleb kisses Essek and one time Essek kisses him back

Caleb POV! While not my first attempt at writing from Caleb's POV for TS, this was my most ambitious at the time: tracking his mindset through several days rather than for a single scene.

Something Old, Something New AKA the wizards play a game, test out a new 8th-level spell, and have a nice chat

My first Big fic in terms of both word count and concept. At the time of writing, it felt like I had opened a door I didn't even know existed and I'm glad to have finished and shared it!

I sorted these by kudos and, unsurprisingly, all my most popular fics are focused on shadowgast xD They're also all on the longer side of my usual works (>5k) and are all multichaps. In terms of content, all three of these include a scene of one wizard comforting the other in a moment of distress (and its immediate aftermath) and they all (mostly) take place in the tower. Thematically, all three revolve around Caleb and Essek having their own wizardly versions of define-the-relationship conversations (an ongoing process for the entirety of TS, really xD).

Faves:

Eyes So Blue and Hair So Grown AKA the Xhorhas kids talk about talking about love

I've been revisiting this one a lot as of late for my Undercommon project. Though they didn't have much direct interaction during the campaign, the moments Yasha and Essek do share live in my heart and I love imagining how their friendship may grow after the campaign. Yasha and Essek can both be so awkward independently and it's so fun to play with how that awkwardness could become earnestness when they're together.

For You, I'd Bleed Myself Dry AKA the wizards spend a moment together on one Nicodranas night and neither quite says goodbye

I am so so incredibly fond of this one :D Between the heavy-handed scene setting and Essek's attempts to lift Caleb's mood at the start to Essek's clumsy sincerity and shift of footing later, this snapshot of Caleb and Essek's early dynamic in TS is always a fun reread :3

The Bluebottle Thrower AKA Essek and Jester hang out at the seaside and play a little game while they're there

I love Jester and TS!Essek loves her too. He hasn't seen her development over the course of the campaign in detail and I find it compelling to imagine the ways he may idealize her on his way to actually understanding her as a person.

My favorites shift around frequently, so these three are the first to come to mind. These ones have some of my absolute favorite lines and I just love writing TS!Essek's tentative tension around touch (say that 5 times fast xD). All of these involve the characters playing in one regard or another as well as featuring TS!Essek realizing a thing or two about himself along the way :3

Tags: @vagabondfirelily @quinn-of-aebradore @marymauk @rainbowcaleb @hello-eeveev @atlasarcana

shadowgast-recs-weekly

Fics based on Movies, Books and TV Shows: A Shadowgast Rec List

This week we have fics based on and inspired by different media! Check under the cut for five fics that take inspiration from other media- and don't forget to comment and kudos if you enjoy!

atlasarcana

run in the shadows 🎸ch 8

VETH: He left your earshot, but you’d heard something. You told Caleb to send over Frumpkin. He refused at first, but then you told him that you’d heard Essek mention Trent’s name. INTERVIEWER: I’m going to ask you to relay what you heard verbatim. I know you still remember. WIDOGAST: (He sighs.)

Chapter: 8/30

Rating: E Fandom: Critical Role (Exandria) Ship: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast, implied Blumenshadow Word Count: 61,522 Tags: Epistolary, Oral History, Inspired by Daisy Jones & The Six, Rockstar AU, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Angst with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn, Political Intrigue, Court Drama, Drug Addiction, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Implied Underage Sexual Abuse, Warning: Trent Ikithon, Mental Illness, Verse Caleb Widogast, Verse Essek Thelyss

Content warnings for the fic are described in the tags and elaborated in the Author’s Note.

⋆ read on ao3 ⋆

run in the shadows 🎸ch 8

VETH: He left your earshot, but you’d heard something. You told Caleb to send over Frumpkin. He refused at first, but then you told him that you’d heard Essek mention Trent’s name. INTERVIEWER: I’m going to ask you to relay what you heard verbatim. I know you still remember. WIDOGAST: (He sighs.)

Chapter: 8/30

Rating: E Fandom: Critical Role (Exandria) Ship: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast, implied Blumenshadow Word Count: 61,522 Tags: Epistolary, Oral History, Inspired by Daisy Jones & The Six, Rockstar AU, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Angst with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn, Political Intrigue, Court Drama, Drug Addiction, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Implied Underage Sexual Abuse, Warning: Trent Ikithon, Mental Illness, Verse Caleb Widogast, Verse Essek Thelyss

Content warnings for the fic are described in the tags and elaborated in the Author’s Note.

⋆ read on ao3 ⋆

#shadowgast #shadowgast fic #essek thelyss #critical role #caleb widogast #critical role fic

run in the shadows 🎸ch 7

VETH: It was an important song to me. I have a kid. I kept seeing pictures of those ruined houses, the razed fields around Ashguard. There’s one with a hobby horse left in the middle of the street. Like some kid saw the infantrymen cresting overhill and dropped everything to run screaming. It’s—it’s just—I’ve already run for my life before. I’ve done the refugee thing. It’s the worst thing you can ever subject a family to. It’s evil. It poisons you with fear, makes you quiet and frozen. Nobody should ever have to be that afraid. Especially not children. Not kids in their houses, not teenagers who think they’re signing on for glory. No one. That’s what I think. No one cares what I think, though. No one likes listening to goblins or mothers or screechy little opinionated women, so I said, “Okay,” and made a choir scream with me over and over again until my voice tore apart. THELYSS: I only regret that, by intrinsically connecting me with that track, it became loaded with weight and controversy later on.

Chapter: 7/30

Rating: E Fandom: Critical Role (Exandria) Ship: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast, implied Blumenshadow Word Count: 55,802 Tags: Epistolary, Oral History, Inspired by Daisy Jones & The Six, Rockstar AU, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Angst with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn, Political Intrigue, Court Drama, Drug Addiction, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Implied Underage Sexual Abuse, Warning: Trent Ikithon, Mental Illness, Verse Caleb Widogast, Verse Essek Thelyss

Content warnings for the fic are described in the tags and elaborated in the Author’s Note.

⋆ read on ao3 ⋆

#shadowgast #shadowgast fic #essek thelyss #critical role #caleb widogast #fic: run in the shadows #run in the shadows #cr2 #the mighty nein

run in the shadows 🎸ch 6

FJORD: I don’t need to be the one to tell you that Essek wasn’t interested in throwing his life into any more chaos than necessary. Especially not for romance. Those public outings we had were for increasing camaraderie and morale. We in the Nein, we always felt a little isolated from other acts, and Essek probably felt even moreso. I won’t mince words: our companionship was honest, but it was also strategic. We were already positioned outside of the favor of half of the Empire’s media houses; we needed allies. VETH: Granted, we didn’t know the ally we chose was the guy who invented the deadliest weapon of war since the explosive arrow, but beggars can’t be choosers.

Chapter: 6/30

Rating: E Fandom: Critical Role (Exandria) Ship: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast, implied Blumenshadow Word Count: 47,326 Tags: Epistolary, Oral History, Inspired by Daisy Jones & The Six, Rockstar AU, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Angst with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn, Political Intrigue, Court Drama, Drug Addiction, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Implied Underage Sexual Abuse, Warning: Trent Ikithon, Mental Illness, Verse Caleb Widogast, Verse Essek Thelyss

Content warnings for the fic are described in the tags and elaborated in the Author’s Note.

⋆ read on ao3 ⋆

#shadowgast #shadowgast fic #essek thelyss #critical role #caleb widogast #cr2

run in the shadows 🎸ch 5

INTERVIEWER: Would you ever return to a career in intelligence? THELYSS: (He laughs.) In short, no. INTERVIEWER: In long? THELYSS: In… long, intelligence arms like the Lens are businesses. They are bureaucratic entities whose funding increases or decreases on the perception, public or private, of their needing to exist. They are vested in the continuation of security deficits, destabilization, competitive enterprise, what have you, in order to receive the funding necessary to expand and self-justify. Intelligence will be shoved under the rug if it’s not what the customer wants to hear. It’s a sham of an industry, and anyone with the knowledge to actually act in it has to answer to the Bright Queen and her cabinet regardless; and when I learned so, I suddenly became very interested in knowing what the fuck I was there for. Of course, I’ve heard speculation that my very presence in the music industry is a psychological operation backed by the Lens to promote… I don’t know what, exactly; maybe D-Music in general, or perhaps skin-tight leather pants. To that, I say, good grief. What I would have given to receive a fraction of that funding. It’s too bad I’m not some sniveling mink; I would have made a fortune running back to my masters.

Chapter: 5/30

Rating: E Fandom: Critical Role (Exandria) Ship: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast, implied Blumenshadow Word Count: 39,796 Tags: Epistolary, Oral History, Inspired by Daisy Jones & The Six, Rockstar AU, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Angst with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn, Political Intrigue, Court Drama, Drug Addiction, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Implied Underage Sexual Abuse, Warning: Trent Ikithon, Mental Illness, Verse Caleb Widogast, Verse Essek Thelyss

Content warnings for the fic are described in the tags and elaborated in the Author’s Note.

⋆ read on ao3 ⋆

#shadowgast #shadowgast fic #essek thelyss #critical role #caleb widogast #cr2 #critical role fic #cr fic #the mighty nein

run in the shadows 🎸ch 4

WIDOGAST: It was a very uncomfortable few weeks, trying to remember to call him “Kingsley” instead of “Molly”, trying to not get on his bad side. He was… quite sensitive for a while. But then he mellowed out, and things were mostly back to normal. They were never quite the same, but I suppose that’s the nature of a head injury. KINGSLEY: For a terribly long time, I didn’t know what anyone was complaining about. I felt great. Like sniffing a smelling salt. Some mental remodeling, if you will. And that was it. Not so scary. No need for a doctor to tell me I was losing my nuts. Of course, there was the whole thing with Caleb—but the poor fellow didn’t need to know how much fun I was having when I used suude. I knew better! That’s always how it was. I never once tried to get him to fall off, I’m not a monster.

Chapter: 4/30

Rating: E Fandom: Critical Role (Exandria) Ship: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast, implied Blumenshadow Word Count: 31,182 Tags: Epistolary, Oral History, Inspired by Daisy Jones & The Six, Rockstar AU, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Angst with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn, Political Intrigue, Court Drama, Drug Addiction, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Implied Underage Sexual Abuse, Warning: Trent Ikithon, Mental Illness, Verse Caleb Widogast, Verse Essek Thelyss

Content warnings for the fic are described in the tags and elaborated in the Author’s Note.

⋆ read on ao3 ⋆

#shadowgast #shadowgast fic #essek thelyss #critical role #caleb widogast

foreshadowing for blood pearl (screenshot by ben-ly)

#shadowgast fic #caleb widogast #rockstar au #run in the shadows

moodboard for run in the shadows, my shadowgast rockstar au on ao3!

#shadowgast #shadowgast fic #essek thelyss #critical role #caleb widogast #myfic #run in the shadows

run in the shadows 🎸ch 3

FJORD: We were young and egotistical. Most of us had already accomplished more than we’d ever dreamed, and we already felt the energy in the room begin to… perhaps the word is ‘harmonize’. It was an incredible feeling, to be there at the beginning of success and know there was going to be success. To feel it in your soul, to not have trudge through the next ten years to find out if you make it or not. KINGSLEY: It was… tingly. WIDOGAST: I am not sure how to explain the feeling. A combination of hope and excitement and dread, almost as if—well, “if this does not work, this perfect, singular mote in the universe, then I will be damned if I humiliate myself again by trying again after.” Ah. I suppose I do not have to explain myself that much anyway. You know the feeling. You were there.

Chapter: 3/30

Rating: E Fandom: Critical Role (Exandria) Ship: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast, implied Blumenshadow Word Count: 23,075 Tags: Epistolary, Oral History, Inspired by Daisy Jones & The Six, Rockstar AU, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Angst with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn, Political Intrigue, Court Drama, Drug Addiction, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Implied Underage Sexual Abuse, Warning: Trent Ikithon, Mental Illness, Verse Caleb Widogast, Verse Essek Thelyss

Content warnings for the fic are described in the tags and elaborated in the Author’s Note.

⋆ read on ao3 ⋆

#shadowgast #shadowgast fic #essek thelyss #critical role #caleb widogast #cr2 #critical role fic #the mighty nein #campaign 2 #cr fic

run in the shadows 🎸ch 2!!

THELYSS: I think I could have floated beside him in stasis forever, ignoring the obvious. Once he offered the precise object of my desire, which I had been concealing from even myself, I panicked. INTERVIEWER: And what did you say to him? THELYSS: We fought about it. We had to. In the Nein, it is prerequisite for doing anything. WIDOGAST: In the end, it was about fear, as it always is. — The Mighty Nein's rocket to fame involves more drama, mystery, abuse, sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll than any columnist can resist, but media accounts until now have been mostly secondhand. Tabloids and vultures run with the facts in the opposite direction, smearing half-truths and outrageous accusations onto any blank space, taking silence for admission. It definitely doesn’t help that Thelyss admitted to stealing the Mouthpiece of the Luxon on national telellusion. The following timeline contextualizes Widogast and Thelyss’s individual music careers, their collaborations, and the events surrounding a) the crimes of Volstrucker Records CEO Trent Ikithon, and b) Ikithon and Martinet Ludinus Da’leth’s undiscussed roles in the Mouthpiece of the Luxon Scandal.

Chapter: 2/30 !! 🎉

Rating: E Fandom: Critical Role (Exandria) Ship: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast, implied Blumenshadow Word Count: 14,234 Tags: Epistolary, Oral History, Inspired by Daisy Jones & The Six, Rockstar AU, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Angst with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn, Political Intrigue, Court Drama, Drug Addiction, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Implied Underage Sexual Abuse, Warning: Trent Ikithon, Mental Illness, Verse Caleb Widogast, Verse Essek Thelyss

Content warnings for the fic are described in the tags and elaborated in the Author’s Note.

⋆ read on ao3 ⋆

#essek thelyss #caleb widogast #shadowgast fic #shadowgast #critical role #cr2

atlasarcana

run in the shadows 🎸ch 1

Despite a smear campaign backed by the Cerberus Assembly, Thelyss’s actual role in the relic heist deviates significantly from what has been purported by Martinet Ludinus Da’leth and the journalists on his payroll. Anyone with access to evidence and abundant testimony can see for themselves the hand that illegal extortion and contractual abuses had in making the cards fall where they fell. The following timeline intends to contextualize Widogast and Thelyss’s individual music careers, their collaborations, and the events leading up to and surrounding: (a) the crimes of Volstrucker Records CEO Trent Ikithon, and (b) Ikithon and Martinet Ludinus Da’leth’s undiscussed roles in the Mouthpiece of the Luxon Scandal. Interviews were conducted individually in 840. Accounts of the same event will differ between interviewee, so it’s up to the jury to determine the truth from the canon of events documented in Widogast & The Mighty Nein.

Chapter: 1/22 !! 🎉

Rating: E Fandom: Critical Role (Exandria) Ship: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast, implied Blumenshadow Word Count: 8,211 Tags: Epistolary, Oral History, Inspired by Daisy Jones & The Six, Rockstar AU, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Angst with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn, Political Intrigue, Court Drama, Drug Addiction, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Warning: Trent Ikithon, Mental Illness, Verse Caleb Widogast, Verse Essek Thelyss

Content warnings for the fic are described in the tags and elaborated in the Author’s Note.

⋆ read on ao3 ⋆

#REMBER!

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