Edema Ruh @aubad0ir - Tumblr Blog

Madeira, Portugal

michael.paramonti

Got reminded again of my old coworker who was a massive misogynist but also trans inclusive. Told me he believed trans women are indeed women because "only women would be stupid enough to want to be women"

I wonder what he's doing now

kawareo

He also aggressively corrected himself whenever he accidentally misgendered a trans guy we knew because "there's already more women than men in the world, the more numbers we steal from them, the better." Did that even when the trans guy wasn't around.

kawareo

I need to point out that he was completely serious btw. This man had no sense of humor if he tried.

He was a cook at the restaurant/bar I was a bartender at, and almost punched a costumer once because he overheard him talking about how women belong in the kitchen. Told me he thought women should stay out of kitchens, that cooking is a man's job and when I asked him what he thinks women should be doing, he went quiet for a moment, then proceeded to explain to me the following

"I trust a bitch to run a kitchen as much as she can run a country, they should do shit like plumbing. Or electricity. Something you can just learn to do and don't need to lead, you know?"

Apparently women are good at "fixing shit". He claimed that he doesn't trust male plumbers or electricians except if they're gay because "something most be wrong with you if you want to go fix other people's houses, that's that maternal instinct"

kawareo

Love that you guys seem to like the stories about my Guy, here's another. (also for context i need to say that english is not the language he spoke, and when i say 'fag', i'm using it for our version of the slur. Our Guy insisted that that's just how you call gay people in our language (it isn't))

We had an openly gay coworker who looked like it (crop tops, dyed hair, make-up) and he was often harassed by the waiters from the football bar next door. The gay dude had the same name as the Guy, who insisted that we would specify the he isn't gay, so they just became "Name" and "Not Gay Name". He was fine with that.

Oh he also once went on a rant about how he respects our gay coworker more than "those other fags" because "at least he has the balls to look like a fag, yknow? None of that sneaky shit where you can't tell if they're trying to fuck you or your girlfriend." When I then told him I was bi, he looked me over and called me some slurs before telling me that I don't need to rub it in that I can get both. Then he asked me if I think he's hot and when I told him no, he informed me I should stick with women because I clearly have shit taste.

kawareo

He once accidentally bullied one of our younger waitresses out of an early eating disorder she was developing before working there (she told me about it after)

Boss gave us one meal from the menu a day as a job bonus, and we had this very shy seventeen year old working with us who was already nervous around men, but Our Guy was a 6'3 dude who only stopped yelling and cursing when he was not speaking at all. If he was the one cooking that day, he'd peek out of the kitchen an hour before he'd start closing it up, and would shout at you if you haven't ordered your meal yet because he hated cooking once he already cleaned. The waitress was scared shitless of him, and so whenever he would yell at her to "fucking order already", she'd panic and just pick something.

She didn't eat much but the first time she tried to throw out almost the whole plate, he got so personally insulted that he berated her for not picking something she'd like, and demanded to know what he did wrong. He got really upset about apparently not being able to cook something that this kid would like and I'm pretty sure he started putting in extra effort to make sure she would eat it this time? It lead to him quite literally standing over her like a hawk when she ate to "see her reaction" and demand an immediate review to see what he can improve.

She later told me that it she was so scared and awkward around him back then that it kind of overrode her fear of food, and that she still sometimes pretends she's back there, when she feels a bad episode coming on, so. He did do something good for the world i guess

kawareo

Our Guy met a nonbinary person once when my friend came to visit me at work. He was just on a smoke break so I had to introduce them and when I said "They're visiting" he got confused and asked us how many people are there (and then threatened murder if they dare order something while he's on a break). I had to explain this man what a nonbinary person is, he thought about it for a second, called the whole thing "fucking stupid, there ain't that shit in nature" and then proceeded to very mockingly refer to them as (our language equivalent of) "your majesty" and use the pronouns you use for people you're supposed to respect (which is genderless and very formal)

My friend thought he was really funny before I explained to them that I'm pretty sure he thought he was being mean (but hey he it wasn't misgendering so yay)

Then (after his break) they ordered a vegan sandwich and we heard him cussing them out about how "they should pick a fucking struggle". Later I asked him about it and got told that "how much shit can you deny yourself? Cheese, gender, the fuck's next?"

veal7creative

"Cheese, gender, what the fuck's next?"

I like how his issue isn't with the "that shit ain't in nature" thing he mentioned, but the idea that being nonbinary is some form of self-deprivation and that they deserve a gender like everyone else.

More notes for The Study

hussyknee

This post made it to TikTok.

elodieunderglass

What a FASCINATING person

arthurgoldheart

[youtube: arthurgoldheart]

mynorthernattitude

the hottest part of sex is when i take off my glasses and put them in a safe place

versaversa

rosieandthemoon

St Dunstan in the East Church Garden

bobbole

Kibori Nicola, Big Plump Pigeon

Lets be clear for a fucking second because I am so fucking sick of people not GETTING it.

If sex comes from anything but a clear "yes", it's a no. And if it's a no, it's rape.

If they say "no", it's rape.

If they say "I'm too drunk/high", it's rape.

If they say "I'm too tired", it's rape.

If they say "just get it over with", it's rape.

If they say "okay fine, whatever", it's rape.

If they are visibly uncomfortable, it's rape.

If they are sleeping, it's rape.

If they feel guilty because you threw a fit last time they said no, it's rape.

If they feel obligated because you did something nice just so you can fuck them, it's rape.

If they are afraid of saying no so they don't say anything, it's rape.

If they physically push you away, it's rape.

Even if they're your spouse and they do any of the above, it's rape.

If they say "it hurts, please stop", and you keep going, it's rape.

If they say "I don't like that" and you keep doing it, it's rape.

If they previously consented but now withdraw consent, it's rape.

If you tell them you'll cheat if they don't have sex with you, it's rape.

If you threaten to leave if they don't have sex with you, it's rape.

If you complain they're withholding it from you and that they should "give it up" because you're their spouse, it's rape.

If you make them feel guilty, scared, upset, stupid, crazy, obligated or distressed about it, it's rape.

If you only do chores to "get some" and throw a fit if you don't, it's rape.

If you tell them they should be "giving it up" because your friend's spouse does, it's rape.

If you embarrass them in front of others to get what you want later, it's rape.

YES. IF IT IS ANYTHING OTHER THAN A CLEAR YES, IT IS RAPE.

Rape is not always violent. In fact, it often isn't. But it is always wrong.

#politics #consent #relationships #marriage #SA #rape #marital rape