*gently holds blorbos*

She/they 30s | AO3: AubieSquire | Variety Blog | Art tag #aubiearts

[aubiesquire]

Hello!

I'm Aubie. 30-something she/they USA. Variety blog, occasionally 18+. I sometimes share my own art and writing! I also enjoy making gifs.

My art tag: aubiearts

Some of my interests, in no particular order:

Anime/Manga: Fairy Tail. The Vision of Escaflowne. Fruits Basket. Trigun. Dungeon Meshi. Noragami. Naruto. Studio Ghibli. Dandadan. TV/Film/Books: The Good Place. The Folk of the Air. The Lord of the Rings. White Collar. Parks and Recreation. The Nanny. The Golden Girls. The Road to El Dorado. Treasure Planet. Anne of Green Gables. Dropout. Video Games: Mass Effect. The Legend of Zelda. Hades. Animal Crossing. Valheim. Stardew Valley. Cult of the Lamb. FFVII. Baldur's Gate 3. Other: Dogs. Art. Writing. Cooking. DFTBA. Movie OSTs.

(+more as I think of them)

[muttsandmustelidae]

From the Nashville Zoo’s fb page! Here’s the petition, please please please take a moment to add your name (even if you’re not from Nashville!). If you are from Tennessee, contact your representatives and make it clear that the people do not want this data center. This is an AZA accredited zoo which is home to several species of critically endangered animals, we NEED to protect it. Make your voice heard!

[muttsandmustelidae]

Because people will pay attention to cute animals, here are some of the critically endangered/endangered species housed at the Nashville Zoo!

The Amur Leopard and Clouded Leopard (which recently celebrated its 50th cub born at the zoo!)

The Sumatran Tiger

The Red Ruffed Lemur and Ring-Tailed Lemur

The Cotton-Top Tamarin and White-Cheeked Gibbon

The Colobus Monkey and De Brazza’s Monkey

And the Mexican Spider Monkey!

Look at them!!!! Look at them and fight like hell to save them!!!!

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

[magdaamm]

Majora's Mask now!

I have three Zelda games that I consider to be my favorites and they're all so different from each other, that it makes it hard to choose just one. But if I really, truly had to choose only one it would always be Majora's Mask. I could yap about it all day long hahaha. Every time I play it I fall in love a little more.

[sporkteeth]

a big ole dump of random ft stuff i never posted here! pt 3 // pt 1, 2

[samreich]

just throwing this out there

[the-big-mood]

This woman's dragon puppet

[okgoodbyeeeeeeeeeeee-deactivate]

i act different w nail polish on

[okgoodbyeeeeeeeeeeee-deactivate]

hands immaculate

[okgoodbyeeeeeeeeeeee-deactivate]

i understand why akatsuki did it

[scribefindegil]

I was in a long-term relationship that fell apart partially because I was ace and my partner was very much not, and every time we looked for relationship help we got told that I was the problem. Not just that a significant mismatch in sexual desire could be a problem in a relationship, but that it was My Fault, Specifically, for not being willing to suck it up and have a bunch of sex I didn't want. To my ex's credit, he cared about consent much more than any of the professionals we talked to and refused to pressure me even when my (lesbian, billed as progressive and pro-LGBT) therapist was actively telling him to.

But it meant that we had absolutely no help or support when we were trying to work on the relationship in ways that *did* value my autonomy. There's basically no advice for people who want to try to make a relationship where there's a big desire gap work that isn't "well you should just have sex anyway" or "just break up lol". And that sucks!

Sometimes breaking up is necessary, and that's what ended up happening with us because there were other reasons we worked better as friends, but there *should* be better frameworks for discussing what people want and need that don't automatically assume that one partner's feelings are automatically more important or valuable than the other's.

[geese-in-flight]

I was dating someone who wanted to be accommodating and work with me to figure things out but lacked the EQ to do so in any effective way. It was my first relationship and I was still figuring out what being ace meant for me. It’s been eight or nine years, but I still remember very clearly the moment I realized we’d been approaching the entire discussion as if my orientation was the problem to be solved, and that it would be equally as valid to say that hers was.

She was significantly less impressed with this revelation than I was, but I tried to hold on to it ever since (although obviously the real problem wasn’t either one of us, but the mismatch and the lack of tools to deal with it). I think it’s super important to remember that we aren’t the ones in the wrong while our theoretical partners are the ones in the right. I was surprised by how much I’d internalized the assumption and I don’t think I’m the only one.

[ineffectualdemon]

The other frustrating aspect of this is allo relationships will often have periods of time where libido does not match (I'm not derailing and this will swing back to asexual people)

Just after giving birth, during a family crisis, during a mental health episode, during health problems, during stressful periods at work

There are a lot of times when one person is horned up and raring to go and the other has no interest

And the solution often presented is that the person who is going through something should just put out because they are the problem instead of like...finding ways to engage in non sexual intimacy to reaffirm closeness

An asexual person is going to get 10x the amount of pressure and blame put on them and no advice on how non-sexual intimacy can help their relationships and if they get that at all it will only be to sell it as a bridge to sex they don't want.

I really hate the selling of intimacy as only equaling or facilitating sex. Intimacy comes in many forms and should be explored more by every couple as a non sexual act. And it the given importance it deserves. In fact I would argue if we as a society put more value on non sexual intimacy more relationships would be happier and healthier

And asexual people would stop getting shit for being themselves.

[scribefindegil]

Yeah, exactly! There are many different forms of intimacy, physical and emotional, and we need to stop viewing non-sexual forms of intimacy as inherently lesser.

And also you're right that while this post is specifically about the asexual experience, these problems affect everyone; desire gaps, whether temporary/circumstantial or ongoing, affect many if not most long-term relationships. And the solution needs to reaffirm bodily autonomy and compassion for everyone, not just carve out a specific exception for ace people. Too frequently I see people and institutions that, even when they're attempting to be affirming, essentially say "Well this is what a committed relationship Needs To Look Like . . . unless you already id as ace I guess" instead of allowing their general idea of what relationships can look like to expand and become less prescriptive.

No one should be pressured into sex they don't want. This should be a basic and non-negotiable tenet of feminism. But it goes out the window as soon as it's in the context of a committed relationship that isn't otherwise abusive.

[fforsythiaaa]

Once when I was in undergrad, someone described something as “problematic” in class and our professor was like, “That’s cool, but ‘problematic’ doesn’t really mean anything. It means that the thing you’re describing has a problem, and in and of itself that’s not bad. Art, especially, should always have problems, or else it’s not interesting and not art, either. It sounds like you’re trying to say that this is bad, but you don’t want to say ‘bad.’ Is that right?”

So from then on whenever one of us called something problematic, he would make us talk it out until we could name the “bad” thing we were hinting at. In this particular class, 7/10 it was some type of oppression, and the remainder was like, “I’m uncomfortable because this is very new/confusing/pushing boundaries that made me feel safe.”

Once we stopped calling things “problematic” and stopping at that, class got way more interesting and... we all had to say, like, “that’s racist” or “that’s misogynistic” or “ew capitalism gross” out loud, which a lot of us had never done in a classroom before. Or we had to be like, “Uhhh... I’m not sure what’s so bad?” and confront our own beliefs and that was maybe even more useful.

Anyway. Whenever I see the word problematic, I can’t help but think of this professor being like, “Good starting point, now let’s get specific.” I think when we have to commit to saying “that’s ___” it requires a lot more careful thought about the truth and impact and complexities of whatever we’re claiming. Sometimes there really is some bullshit afoot, and also sometimes it’s art, and it should be full of problems, because that’s what art is.

[sporkteeth]

post dragon king festival. just needs her close to make sure she's still there.

[sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog]

oh wait just realized i can edit my own posts.

like you can't edit reblogs anymore but you can still edit your own post even after it has a thousand notes or whatever.

[sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog]

i have the opportunity to do the funniest thing.

[spaceediasporaa]

What I love about Becka's justice is that it was only ever going to end that way. We've seen from the very first episode of this series what these girl are taught to do with abusers, if a man hurts a woman he must forfeit his life. The men of Gilead might be horrified by Becka, but she was only doing what she was taught, she was enacting God's justice, she was His hand, and she brought His judgement upon the sinner

[leac-art]

I'm trying to hard reboot my brain by painting Princess Mononoke studies. I can't say if it will work, but it is a really nice way to meditate if nothing else 🌱

[evenlyevi]

Breathe and be.

[sunshinestarseed-deactivated202]

[orpheuslament]

i need (abruptly stops talking & stares at some random fixed point with a vacant expression)