ᴅᴇᴘʀɪᴠᴇᴅ ᴏꜰ ʏᴏᴜ
Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader
࿓ Summary: You and Steve decide to make a pact in hopes for better sleep. You make it very clear you're not interested in any sort of emotional support from him, nor are you willing to go further than just friends. Steve agrees to your conditions, knowing damn well this whole pact may end up with him more heartbroken than when it started. But something in him says that you're worth it.
࿓ CW: SLOW BURN, distant friends to lovers, reader is avoidant, Steve is whipped (lowkey reader is too), night terrors, trouble sleeping, canonical st violence, no strings attached pact, Hopper!Reader, no use of Y/n, denying feelings, hurt/comfort, angst, readers was involved in Upside Down, post season 5, trauma, sharing the bed, eventual smut, MDNI, Oral F!Receiving, Fingering, P in V, unprotected sex (WRAP IT UP), love confessions
࿓ A/N: guys the song I found is ACTUALLY PERFECT also lowkey not proofread don't maim me
࿓ WC: 4.5k
࿓ Song Inspo: ↻ ◁ | He Wants Me by Blondshell | ▷ ↺
"Deal."
Steve nodded and pushed himself out of bed, disappearing into his bathroom.
You trailed him with your eyes, watching as the door clicked shut and the shower started running. You carefully shifted to the edge of the bed, grabbing your bag from off the floor and pulling out some clean clothes. You slipped out of the room, changing in the guest bathroom quickly. Maybe you could get the hell out of there before he got out of the shower.
You fixed your hair and brushed your teeth before quickly stuffing your pj's into your bag. You slung the bag over your shoulder and crept down the stairs. All you needed was to find your keys and get the hell out of dodge. But of course your keys had decided to hide from you.
You searched for them frantically, scanning the living room wildly. "Where the fu-"
"Looking for these?"
Your head whipped around. Your eyes locked onto Steve's shirtless torso, a towel slung low around his waist... so so so low-
"I didn't take you as a hit and run kinda girl, Hopper." He smirked slightly, slinging the keys around his finger.
"And I didn't take you for the kind of guy to hide a girl's keys. That's strange behavior, Harrington." You forced your gaze to meet his.
Steve let out a small hum, "Why don't you stay for breakfast?"
"Why don't you put on some clothes?" You shot back quickly.
He glanced down at himself. "I dunno, you seemed pretty enthralled by the sight."
A scoff left your mouth, "In your dreams, Harrington."
"Thanks to you, I might be getting those back soon." He smiled lightly. "Alright- just don't leave yet. I'll be right back." He rushed back up the stairs, carrying your keys with him.
You let out a small growl and plopped down into the large armchair with a huff. You tapped your foot impatiently as you waited. You weren't sure why you were so frustrated, truly there was no reason to be. You should've been thankful, kind even, but instead you just felt annoyed. Because how the hell had Steve Harrington managed to provide you with a good night's sleep on the first try when not even medication had managed to help.
A hand on your shoulder pulled you from your thoughts. "Did my dad's recline offend you personally? You look like you're plotting how to reupholster it in the most painful way possible."
You brushed his hand off, standing up. "I'm fine."
Steve sighed heavily, turning and heading into the kitchen. "I hope you like sandwiches, particularly turkey and cheddar sandwiches cause that's all I got."
He rummaged through the fridge eagerly as you stood reserved in the doorway. "Steve." He looked over slowly and frowned at your outstretched hand.
He carefully placed your keys in your hand. "Alright, so what's the plan for tonight?"
You fiddled carefully with the car key. "I don't know.... Maybe for right now we plan for every other night or something. I'm just- I don't really want to tell my dad yet."
Steve nodded slowly. "Alright... but just- call me if you need to, okay?"
You nodded shortly, turning and heading to the door. Steve followed shortly behind. He opened up the door for you. You smiled tightly and turned to look at him, "I um- you can call me to, if you need. And uh- thanks for this- I'll see you tomorrow night, okay?"
Steve rubbed the back of his neck, "Alright."
You turned and made a beeline for the car, peeling out of the driveway quickly. You had a feeling you were heading into a storm back at home. As you drove deeper into the woods the feeling only grew stronger. Hopefully your dad was over at the Byers'. Your hope was squashed the second you saw his car pulled up by the cabin.
As if he could sense your presence, he appeared in the doorway, arms cross and a frown etched on his face.
You sighed, stepping out of the car with your bag. "Shit."
"Where the hell were you?" Hopper marched down the steps, brows turned down hard.
"I told you, I stayed the night at Ro-"
"Bullshit."
"What?" You crossed your arms.
"Robin came by last night looking for you, dumbass."
You grumbled and shoved past him, storming into the house.
"Hey! We're having a conversation!" He followed after you.
"Oh yeah sure, great start to this really NICE fucking talk." You continued into the cabin, shoving open the screen door.
"Where were you!?"
"None of your business!"
"I'm your father, of course it's my fucking business!"
"I'm 20, a grown adult. It's not your job to take care of me."
"Fine, then fucking act like an adult." He slammed the screen door shut.
Your jaw clenched hard, as you locked yourself in your room. Tears stung at the back of your eyes as you threw your bag against the floor. You just needed him to leave, you needed him to storm off to Joyce the way he always did. You needed to be by yourself for five fucking minutes.
Soon enough, the front door slammed shut and his car engine came to life with a roar. You peaked through the blinds, watching as his car reversed quickly and sped off. You knew you would be eating alone, probably even having the whole house to yourself.
And you were right. As night fell, Hopper was nowhere to be seen, leaving the cabin drenched in silence. The air felt sick and thick with loss. A few years ago nights like this would have been shared with El, the smell of eggos and the sound of random shows filling the air. You would snuggle up with El, giggling with each other over random things.
Now it was just empty. Cold pizza half eaten on the kitchen counter. The tv screen was cold, all prior warmth had been drained from the cabin and from your life.
You sat silently, staring over at El's bedroom door. It hadn't been opened in months, both you and your father not ready to face the task that was getting rid of her things. It had been the same way with Sarah. Her little clothes sat collecting dust in her old room, her stuffed animals left unloved and cold. It wasn't until your dad had sold the house that her things were finally tucked into storage bins and donation bags.
You had barely survived closing the lid on her clothes... you didn't know if you could do it again. Even if the thought of her things sitting in the dark made you physically sick, you just couldn't do it. So you didn't.
When you finally had the energy to pull yourself from the table for two, you glanced over at the clock. 12:17. Yeah right, you weren't going to sleep tonight. Not with all this empty space suffocating you.
You settled on top of your bed sheets, eyeing the phone on your bedside table. You let out a groan. No fucking way were you actually wanting to call Steve. This was stupid. There was no reason why you were feeling the pull towards the phone. Your fingers should not have been itching to dial his number. And your skin should not have been yearning for his touch.
One night and Steve had successfully shoved his foot in your shut door.
No. You were not going to call him. Absolutely not. You had decided it. The decision was final.
Unfortunately for you, you hadn't figured out what to do if he called you. Which he did.
The phone startled to life. You knew who it was by the first ring.
"Shit-" You cursed yourself as you picked up the phone. "What do you need Harri-" Heavy breaths fanned through the line. Quick hiccups cutting into your ear. "Steve, hey. Hey, it's alright. It was just a dream, you're going to be okay-"
"No-" he let out a choked cry, his breath picking up in a panic.
"Hey, Steve. Just breathe with me, okay?" He let out a small agreeing noise. "Okay, good. Just follow me." You took in a deep breath through the nose, letting it go through your mouth. You listened carefully as Steve copied. "Good. Just like that. Now let's do it again."
You continued breathing with him, listening carefully as he settled down. The line went quiet for a moment before Steve spoke softly through the receiver. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be. I told you to call me if you needed, and you did. And I'm glad. So don't be sorry."
He took a breath, taking a moment to collect himself. "Listen I know you said not tonight- but can you please-"
"I'll be there in 10." You agreed.
Steve didn't question your immediate agreement, he let out the breath he was holding. "Thank you."
"Hang tight, Harrington." You hung up quickly. Not bothering to grab a change of clothes or a bag, you quickly hauled yourself into your car, making a beeline for Steve.
You drove with more fervor than you would ever admit, the idea of Steve alone in a state like that making your stomach turn. You parked horribly, hurrying out of the car. You let yourself in, heading up to Steve's room without a second thought.
Steve sat against his bed, head buried in his hand. You sat beside him silently, letting him lean into your side.
"That was quick." He let out a sad chuckle.
You eyed him with a soft smile, "I don't know what you're talking about. That was a perfectly reasonable time to get here."
A small smile found his lips. "I didn't think you would come."
"Well I did."
"You did."
It was quiet for a moment. "Do you want to talk about it?"
He sighed, "Same thing as always. Everyone dies off one by one. I failed them, I can never save them in time. And then they are just dead- in my arms. And there's blood- always blood- so so so much blood. And it won't come off." He stares down at his hands.
You gently reached over, taking his hands in your own. "Well, now there's just a hand."
He let out a small snort, grabbing onto your hands. "Two, actually."
"Don't get snippy with me, Harrington. I ran a red light for you."
He looked over, light brimming in his eyes. "Really?"
"If you bring it up, I'll deny it." You smirked. "So, do you want to stay awake or try to go to sleep?"
"Sleep... if you're alright with that."
You nodded, pulling him up. "Yeah, but you'll just have to deal with my jeans."
He eyed your clothes, you were still dressed in your day clothes. "Do you want to borrow something?"
"Yeah, actually. That would be great."
He pulled open his dresser, tossing you his old gym shorts and a tshirt. You changed in his bathroom. The clothes swallowed you. You snorted and made your way back into the bedroom.
"I feel very manly." You crossed your arms across your chest.
Steve raised a brow. "Oh yeah, a realllll man right here."
"Mhm. Sup. Dude. Where's the beer at... dude." Your voice dropped low.
Steve bit his lip, holding back a laugh. "Thats- wow. You are... bizarre."
"Yeah." You nodded. Sitting on his bed. "Not my finest moment..."
Steve barked out a laugh. "I don't think anyone's ever done... that in an effort to console me."
"Sorry- I'll stick to breathing exercises." You laughed lightly, pulling his covers down.
Steve smiled and slipped in beside you. Your shoulders were squished against his, an awkward air settling over the room. Steve sighed. "Come here."
"Steve-"
"Please? I just- I want to feel someone."
You nodded, scooting over into his arms. He wrapped them tight around you. You knew this was a bad decision. You knew that this was going to lead to feelings you weren't prepared to handle. But right now. You didn't care. Steve needed this... and you wanted it.
You cuddled close, drifting off into a peaceful sleep tucked in his arms.
Gentle morning light filtered into the room, shining gently on your skin. The smell of breakfast wafted through the air, pulling you into consciousness. You sat up, rubbing your eyes carefully. Steve was gone from the room, his spot on the bed was still slightly warm.
You carefully padded downstairs. The sound of an egg breaking against a skillet filled the air. Steve turned with a lazy smile as you came into the kitchen.
"Ah! Perfect timing! How do you like your eggs?"
Your stomach dropped slightly. Every bone in your body was screaming for you to decline, to make some excuse. Instead you sat down at the counter. "Scrambled, but not runny."
He nodded. "Cheese?"
"Oh hell yeah." You smiled eagerly.
He let out a laugh, fixing up your plate. "So, you showed up in your regular clothes last night... at 12:45 at night."
"Glad you've still got good vision, Harrington. Is there a question behind that?"
"I dunno. If there was, would you answer honestly?" He glanced over at you.
"Yeah."
"Alright. So had you decided you weren't going to try and sleep last night?"
"Yes."
"Is there a reason why?"
"I guess." You shrugged. "I just- with the day I had, I knew it would be a bad night of terrors."
"What happened yesterday?"
"Got in a fight with my dad. He left, didn't come back."
"Oh. That's- not cool."
"Maybe, but I'm used to it. We have short fuses, and it's better to let them die out alone rather than set everything on fire." You fiddled with your glass.
Steve slid over your plate, eggs and pancakes covering it. "Still... you shouldn't be alone."
"When am I not alone?" You laughed lightly. Silence followed, causing you to stare at your plate.
"You don't have to be." He spoke softly.
"Yeah. I do."
"I know you think that, but it's not true." Steve frowned.
"It is. It's for the best for everyone- and for me." You pushed around the eggs.
"Why?"
"I lost my center." You looked up at him. "Twice. And I can't do it again."
Steve carefully reached over, taking your hand. "Maybe someone can help you find it again."
You carefully removed your hand. "I don't think so, Steve."
He watched you for a moment, before pulling his hand back and nodding. "Well. If you change your mind, let me know."
"I will." You smiled slightly. "By the way, you make some great eggs."
A laugh slipped his lips. "Thanks. For the compliment and for coming over."
"Yeah- well... it's not the worst thing in the world sleeping here." You teased.
"You mean sleeping with me." He smirked.
You slapped his arm lightly, "Don't push it."
The plan had been every other day. The plan had been no strings attached, keep it friendly, keep it safe.
But plans never seemed to go the way they were intended.
Every other day turned into nightly. You had your own parking spot at Steve's house, your own drawer in his bedroom, and your own tooth brush in his bathroom. Your dad gave up trying to figure out where you were disappearing off to. After one too many fights, he had decided to let you 'do whatever the fuck you wanted.'
So you stopped trying to sneak out, instead walking out of the cabin late at night and returning early in the morning.
Hopper had followed you at one point, which turned into a massive fight, which turned into you staying at Steve's house for a week.
Things had stopped being awkward with Steve after that. Neither of you asked to hold the other, it was routine. You stayed for breakfast, you stocked the fridge with groceries and you held Steve when reality caught back up with him. His parents had left Hawkins in the middle of the rift, leaving him alone in his childhood home.
He had insisted he was fine most of the time. But every now and again, the evil truth that his parents had abandoned him in the face of crisis reared its ugly face and left Steve empty for a few days. He would get terrible headaches, pushing him into quiet achy bouts for days at a time.
Those were the days you truly grew closer to Steve. The two of you would sit quietly on the couch, his head in your lap and your nails scratching his scalp gently. You would gently wipe away his tears, and hold him tight against your chest. You would carefully place your hand on his head, the warmth pushing back the ache until it was gone. Your touch was some kind of honor that pulled you out from the dark.
Steve didn't need for you to cuss out his parents or for you to tell him that there were people who cared about him. He knew you cared. Deeply. He knew simply from the way that you instinctively opened your arms for him to melt into that you, despite yourself, had officially opened up your heart to him.
And you knew that you had already found a home in his. Steve was like honey. Welcoming, sweet, addicting, deep, thick, stable.
The nightmares didn't stop, but they became less frequent and less powerful. You stopped screaming in the middle of the night, and Steve stopped seeing blood. Sleep had settled back into your life, driving away the constant dread and anger that plagued you. And along with the sleep, came quiet, all encompassing love and adoration for Steve.
You shifted into the strong pair of arms that held you close against his chest. Your legs were tangled with his, your head resting slightly beneath his chin.
You hummed lightly as the scent of his detergent filled your nose. Steve pulled you even closer, one hand rubbing small circles against your back. Morning's were his favorite time of day. He adored waking up slightly before you and just holding you. He loved to see the ease of your breath and the gentle expression on your face. And he loved the way you nuzzled your face into his chest just as you woke up, hiding from the sun.
His nose nudged the top of your head. You had grown a weird fondness with his nose, loving the shape and the way he buried it into the crook of your neck right before getting up.
Lately, mornings in bed have lasted longer. Something that brought you comfort and dread at the same time. "Mornin." His gruff voice cut through the air.
"Good morning, Steve." You gently pulled yourself from his grasp.
He frowned, letting out a soft unapproving sound. "Come back."
You bit back a smile. "It's time to get up."
"Says who?" He sat up with you, his arms sliding around your waist. Steve was feeling bold today, he was tired of skirting around the truth. He pulled you over him, your face inches from his own.
"Says me. You promised to take Dustin to the arcade today, remember?" You ignored the heat in your cheeks.
"Yeah, at like 3 in the afternoon. You think he's awake at.... 10:30 in the morning?"
"Well no-"
"So then let's just stay here." His nose brushed yours lightly.
You swallowed hard. "Steve." It came out as a warning.
He spoke your name softly. "Can we please stop pretending for one day?"
"No. We can't." You frowned.
"Why?"
"Because, Steve! I- just. I'm still so lost- and I can't drag you down with me. It's not fair. It hasn't been fair. I'm better without."
"That's not true. You just don't want to admit it." He spoke carefully, not accusing, just pointing it out.
"I know-" You looked away.
He nudged your face back to his with his fingers. "Look at me. This goes beyond the rest. Sure it started out at that. But damn it, Hopper. You've implanted yourself in my chest, in my life. I look forward to waking up. I look forward to going to sleep. From cooking, to running errands. All because you're with me. And I know that you feel the same way. You just need to allow yourself to actually accept it."
"I- don't know how." You stared deep into his eyes.
"Yes you do. You know how. You just need to do it." His face inched closer.
Steve was right. Of course he was. Sure you slept well when he was around. But this had become more than that. Maybe originally you had stuck about simply because of the sleep. But now- Steve had really managed to find your center and put it back together. Now, you just had to let him in the way he had let you in.
"I want you... and you want me." Your hand slid up to his cheek.
He nodded, repeating the sentiment. "I want you, and you want me."
You smiled gently, dipping down and capturing his lips in yours. Steve's hand held the back of your head gently, pulling you deeper. His mouth moved gracefully with yours, a small smile tugging at his lips. He let out a breathy laugh. "Finally."
You laughed with him, kissing all over his face. Steve rolled you over, hovering over you as he peppered kisses against your neck. You sighed happily, tilting your head to the side for him. His lips planted against your skin, carefully pulling and sucking at your neck. Your hands gently wound into his hair, tugging at it slightly. The motion pulled a groan from his lips.
His hands slid up the borrowed t-shirt you had on, warm hands pressing against your sides. You carefully moved your knees, letting them bracket his torso. He bit down slightly, a gasp leaving your lips.
He smirked against your neck, "Like that?"
Your eyes fluttered shut, his words melting straight down to your core. "Mhm."
You could feel the heat pooling in your panties, soaking through slightly.
Steve let a hand wander down, pushing down your sleep shorts and finding your core. You gently called out his name, hips bucking into his touch.
"I got ya." He trailed kisses back up to your lips as his thumb began to rub slow circles against your clothes center. You bit your lip lightly. "Let me hear you, baby." He nipped at your lips, as he pulled your panties to the side.
You let out a slew of groans as his head settled between your thighs. Steve slipped off your bottoms and panties, pushing your thighs open carefully.
"Steve-"
"Tell me what you need, baby."
"You, please." You whined quietly. Steve nodded, his tongue licking a generous stripe against your heat. Your hand shot to his hair, tugging him closer.
He shoved his face deep against you, his tongue working at your cunt as his thumb continued rubbing gentle circles. Your mouth fell open, a string of moans falling with it. The sound spurred him on, his tongue working faster against you, two fingers joining as he stretched you out gently.
"Shit- Steve that- right there please-" You whined as his fingers pushed deeper, curling against your walls. "Fuck- baby I need you, please." You pulled his shoulders.
He glanced up at you, "I wasn't done with you-"
"Please- Steve- please. Need you, to feel you, all of you." You pleaded with him.
The sound of your pleas went straight to his dick. He quickly discarded all remaining clothes, pulling your thighs up around his waist. You held onto his shoulders tightly. Carefully, he pushed in, groaning at the feeling of your tight walls around him.
"Shit- baby, you're so tight."
You bit into his shoulder as you moaned at the feeling of you stretching around him. "You-feel so good."
Steve carefully began moving with you, guiding deep strokes into your pussy. Your legs wrapped around his waist, pushing him deep,
"Fuck you feel good." He groaned into your shoulder, carefully picking up the pace.
You moaned out against his ear, head tipping back against the pillows as he moved deeper into your aching core. "More, baby." Your nails clawed at his back.
Steve gripped onto your thighs, pulling you to meet his quick thrusts. The headboard banged against the wall as he plunged into you again and again.
You felt the tight coil pulling tight in your stomach as he hit a particularly sensitive spot again and again and again.
"Fuck- Steve Im about to-" Your voice broke as you gasped at the feeling of his thumb back on your core.
"I got you, let go for me, baby." His nose nudged yours. You moaned into his lips as the coil snapped, waves of pleasure washing through your whole body.
Steve finished as your walls clamped around him, the both of you moaning into each other's mouths as you came down from the high.
Steve ran a hand over your legs, holding them as they spasmed slightly. He pulled out carefully, pressing a sweet kiss to your head as he cleaned you up.
You slipped back into his t-shirt and a pair of panties as he threw on a clean pair of boxers. You smiled and wrapped your arms around him, pulling him back onto the bed. He smiled, kissing your lips repeatedly as the two of you settled back under the covers.
Your head rested on his chest while his hand traced small hearts on your thigh. Steve kissed you every few seconds, earning small laughs from you. "I say we go out to a nice breakfast place to celebrate us finally admitting that we love each other." Steve smiled down at you.
You playfully raised a brow, "Who said anything about love?"
He smiled, "Oh so you didn't love the way my dick was jus-"
You slapped a hand over his mouth. "You've got a dirty mouth, Harrington."
He smiled, and kissed your hand. "You love it. And you love me."
"I do." You kissed him gently.
He smiled into the kiss before pulling back. "And I love you."
You sat up, heading over to the dresser to get your clothes. "Oh I know. You weren't very subtle about it."
Steve laughed, grabbing his own clothes and pressing a long kiss to your head. "Wasn't trying to be."
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