A Big Mean Lesbean

Dee | F | 22 | INFP | ♌️ | Perth 🇦🇺 | 🎷 | Slut for Nintendo 🎮 | 🏳️‍🌈👭@imsooogaydude

[aussiekirkland]

Coming out is something you have to do every single day. Here are some cringeworthy moments I deal with regularly

- Checking into rooms with my girlfriend: having to explain that we booked a room with one bed because we’re TOGETHER. Even had a lady try and sneakily put us in a room with singles but there were already people in there. Then she went “oh here’s the key”... yeah that wasn’t fun

- Constantly being assumed to be sisters: People think it’s so funny that we’re not sisters haha yeah we look so similar so funny we get this almost every day it’s TIRING! Having to be polite to those idiots while working too

- Doctors: recently my girlfriend went on the pill because she’s got really bad cramps and I’ve been on it for years so I was taking her to the doctor and helping her with that process. Every step of the way was GP’s and chemists being incredibly confused about the contraceptive being used as anything other than birth control, female doctors thinking she should toughen up (male doctors are actually way more sympathetic) and not understanding that she’s not having sex with men cause we’re together. Also spending ages looking for a GP who wasn’t incredibly weird about us being together (settled on a lovely young Asian man) and every time we have to see someone else it’s always “is this your sister?” Like do sisters go to the doctor together???? I never go to the doctor with my sister that’s weird

This shit is getting tiring yo can straight people stop being such fucking idiots thank you

[im-a-tnuc-deactivated20181220]

I don’t know why, but I think some Americans don’t realise how big the UK is….

American Customer: you’re English right? Do you know the bookshop between Wales and Bristol that has lots of books in?

Me in my head: yeah mate, I know that one. Classic. Love to pop down there on a cheeky break between work. What a wanker…

[lizzystarlight]

the continuous 48 states are is almost 39x the size of the isle of great britan

that’s your answer

[mymindsecho]

For reference:

That’s JUST Texas.

[pukicho]

When will the UK learn that they are puny little ants in which to be crushed???

[toastpotent-deactivated20250619]

where’s that post where the british person was like “oh yeah i only get to see my dad 2-3 times a year because he lives so far away :/” and a person asked “oh no how far away is he?” and the british person said “75 minutes”

[regularlesbian]

op it literally takes about 20 minutes to get to wales from bristol, op that’s a reasonable question do you understand geography

[amandabe11man]

leave europe alone you fucking colonizers

[scrimblobimblobadimbo-deactivat]

It takes my mom an hour to drive to work. Sometimes more. Europeans are cowards.

[ghost-cassette]

“Leave Europe alone you fucking colonizers” Should we tell them?

[yourladyindank]

I drove 6 hours just to pick someone up and bring them home because it’s nbd

[choochoobear]

Sorry, I’m still stuck on “Leave Europe alone, you colonizers.”

[lasombritas]

do they know

[aussiekirkland]

This is Western Australia compared to Texas. Me and my girlfriend drove 15 hours to Karratha from Perth, worked for a day and drove back the next day.

You’re all cowards

[glumshoe]

I’m glad that Indiana finally has its first national park and that it’s the one mostly known for having sand dunes that eat children.

[pishposh-haberdash]

how, pray tell, does a dune eat A Child

[glumshoe]

Imagine that you’re a big pile of sand by the shore of Lake Michigan, between Gary and Michigan City. Your name is Mount Baldy, and you’re a popular tourist destination at what is now Indiana Dunes National Park.

For a huge pile of tiny rocks, you live a surprisingly nomadic lifestyle. More than a hundred years of tourism and foot traffic has destroyed much of the native grass that kept you stationary. You are now what they call a “wandering dune”, as wind off the lake slowly but steadily pushes your tremendous bulk a little further inland every year.

As you move, you gradually engulf everything in your path—trees, buildings, rocks, hills, your own parking lot—everything. You are an unstoppable force, like some kind of gigantic gelatinous cube, but you’re still very popular with visitors.

In 2013, you suddenly eat a child. It’s a surprising move on your part—dry quicksand isn’t supposed to be a real natural phenomenon. I mean, what is this, a 1960’s action movie?

One moment, a family from Illinois is cheerfully climbing your slopes. The next, the 6 year old boy suddenly vanishes without warning, leaving no trace. Would-be rescuers dig in the sand where he disappeared until their hands are bleeding. Geologists insist that he must have wandered off, because enormous piles sand physically cannot form hollows or pockets within themselves—but three hours later, he is found, unconscious but alive, buried almost twelve feet deep in the sand.

The current leading geological theory as to how this happened is that the organic material you engulf, like trees, slowly decompose beneath your slopes, leaving behind unstable voids held together only by the fragile remains of the decayed material. When these voids are walked over, they collapse, forming sudden sinkholes that can swallow visitors whole. The rules that typically govern stationary dunes, or wandering dunes in areas that are not forested, no longer apply to you. You are unpredictable and dangerous and have remained closed to visitors except on guided hikes ever since.

[hidetothink]

Roll for initiative

[kaijuno]

Cursed

[anemonequeen-moved]

[demilypyro]

wish pokemon was real so i could move to the country and farm mareep in peace

[demilypyro]

wish pokemon was real so i could move to the country and farm wooloo in peace

[aussiekirkland]

Tenor 2 impressions of the instruments (jazz band edition)

Tenor 1: is either extremely obnoxious or is completely incapable. Just... let me do it

Alto 1: take a goddamn solo and stop being so shy you’re section leader ffs. They’re always extremely good technically but hate soloing

Alto 2: slaying it

Bari: Yay you got a solo!!! Look at you go!!!

Bass trombone: yeah you do that honk honk you’re doing great sweetie

Trombones: you guys are doing great

Trumpets: just know that every time you tune I get a migraine

Guitar: every guitarist I’ve met has been super chill and an awesome dude

Piano: they’re always so absent. Also love soloing and hate reading the dots

Bass: Who? But really you’re doing great

Drums: See bass

Vocalist: See tenor 1 (but I don’t wanna do it lol respect to you)

[aussiekirkland]

A tenor saxophonist’s impression of the instruments (concert band edition)

Principal flute: don’t be so obnoxious dude chill

Principal clarinet: you too

Flutes: I’ve literally never talked to you but you seem nice. Sorry the conductor makes fun of you all the time

Clarinets: who?

Bass clarinet: I dunno good tootin

Bassoon: not only is your instrument huge but you’re a literal giant. I cannot see the conductor!!! Also what is the point of having such a big instrument if no one can hear it (I heard it once and it sounds lovely btw)

Oboe: Keep it up you’re doin great

Piccolo: Why?

Alto saxes: play! Louder!!! You’re so quiet!!!

Bari sax: get back here and stop playing the timpani we need you

Euphoniums: *sits next to them once* wow you guys sounded great I never hear you

French horns: *comes in 2 beats after the entrance*

Trumpets: you guys are doing awesome

Trombones: *can never decide what note they’re playing*

Percussion: *literally eating snacks and watching cat videos*

The conductor: did you know that the percussionists are AMAZING everyone give them a round of applause

Tenor saxes: fuck we’re lazy

[voidwillbyers]

y'all ever just sit there watching helplessly while canon ruins ya fave character, ignoring all of the trauma they’ve been through and making them act so out of character that it seems like someone else entirely and you’re just like

[aussiekirkland]

CHERYL BLOSSOM

[aussiekirkland]

ALISON HENDRIX

[voidwillbyers]

y'all ever just sit there watching helplessly while canon ruins ya fave character, ignoring all of the trauma they’ve been through and making them act so out of character that it seems like someone else entirely and you’re just like

[aussiekirkland]

CHERYL BLOSSOM

[vaporwavesimulator]

local kid saves the life of what they thought was a helpless animal only to find out they’ve gained the loyalty of a divine creature

[vaporwavesimulator]

[dadcrone]

i want 2 kiss someone at pride

[dadcrone]

I googled ‘how to get laid at pride’ and it turned up like 5 ‘the straight mans guide to boinking women at pride’ kill me

[newtgeiszler]

i hope no straight man ever gets his penis touched during the entire month june

[dadcrone]

like to charge reblog to cast

[liberal-memes]

[asexualsafetag]

Reblog if you support people of all genders and sexualities 🌈🏳️‍🌈❤️💛💚💙💜🏳️‍🌈🌈

[walking-disaster-warning-deacti]

As long as you’re not a pedophile its all good 💗

[valtsv]

end of may mood

[catgirldirk]

[scretladyspider]

People who are pansexual are:

attracted to persons regardless of their gender 

and/or attracted to all genders

people with a really pretty PRIDE flag

we are not:

special bisexual snowflakes

calling bi people transphobic 

confused

[scretladyspider]

Also bisexuality is an awesome and valid identity and you can pry my bi/pan solidarity from my cold dead hands

[transswordbian]

People who are bisexual are:

Attracted to two or more genders

Can be attracted to all genders but prefers to use bisexual as a term/label

People with a really cool pride flag

We are NOT:

Transphobic

Disregarding of nonbinary genders

Confused

Shout-out to my pan siblings btw! Y'all are great! Anyone who disagrees can pry bi/pan solidarity from my cold, dead fingers

[scretladyspider]

Woo! Yes!

[theendoftimehaspassed]

[internetdruid]

I am HERE to defend the lgbt community

[bones-and-tomes]

GREATER DOG?????

[nonbinarypastels]

what a beautiful day to remember that bisexual women in relationships with men + bisexual men in relationships with women have every right to attend pride events with their significant other and the concept of ‘straight passing privilege’ should be left in the trash where it belongs