there was a point in her hurting where she wished she’d never met him. she didn’t understand how someone who had been in her life for such a −considerable− short amount of time, could become so important to her. chiara didn’t know how to feel about grayson anymore. for so long, she had wanted him to be in front of her and she had wanted to confront him. now that he’s here, she’s quiet. she’s acting like there’s nothing she wants to say to him, when deep in her heart, there’s so much threatening to spill out. it’s like a wave of emotion is washing over her and she honestly just wants it to be over with. what do you ask someone who left you and you never expected to see again?
most of the people have stopped looking by now. she’s gripping the styrofoam cup so tight that it actually bends a little in her hand and she’s worried it might spill out. she doesn’t even want coffee anymore. lips pursed, she walks behind him, returning to her table and her open book. once they’re sitting down, she sets the cup down then closing the book and shoving it in her purse. she laces her fingers together on the table, eyes flicking from the coffee, to gray’s belongings and finally settling on him. he hasn’t shaved and he looks considerably tired and she wonders what he’s been up to. still, she doesn’t ask.
“we did - i don’t think you need confirmation of that.” is all she says, as she picks the cup up, lukewarm coffee swirling on it. she takes a sip and is instantly grossed out by it. she wants to get up and throw it in the trash but doesn’t want to be rude so she simply places it away from her. she raises an eyebrow at him. “what else do you want me to say, hm? ti amavo, gray. i think that’s pretty obvious.” there’s no use in beating around the bush anymore. all she wants is for all of this to end up in some sort of closure for the both of them - by the looks of it, all this encounter was going to do was either fuck them up further or, if they were lucky, going to give them a solution. she rolls her eyes and laughs, or at least attempts to, since it comes out as a scoff more than anything. “don’t be such a… stronzo.” she mutters, “i didn’t know you lived here. all you ever did was talk about spokane, so of course, that was my first no-go place.” she’s about to get up and leave but she really feels like she needs to defend herself. “i didn’t come to new jersey looking for you. this is just a coincidence and a really fucked up one – we don’t even have to deal with each other. the city is big enough.” she sits back on her chair, not realizing how closer she’d gotten to him. “it’s not my fault but i was supposed to stop you, great.” now she’s outraged. “was i supposed to force you to stay in rome? to beg you not to leave me?” chiara questions and there’s hurt in her eyes. “you came back to america chasing for another woman, was i supposed to be the rebound, waiting for you back there?” she grimaces. “did i even matter to you, at all? you were the one to leave but you’re blaming this on me. you’re unbelievable!”
gray knew this was his fault. it would be idiotic of him to deny that. he just doesn’t feel like admitting that to chiara because it’ll only result in her rubbing it in his face, or leaving before he even gets a chance to make up for all the lost time and the broken hearts they both suffered. so he acts like a dick, acts like he doesn’t think it’s solely his fault. anything to get her to stay here longer, even if it just means them arguing longer. it’s worth it to get more time. especially if it means getting more time to plan out exactly what he’s going to say, considering he only gets one shot at saying something that convinces her to not hate him. no pressure there.
setting his things down on her table feels like a violation despite her inviting him, and he takes a minute to sit down, just in case she decides that she doesn’t want him there anymore. but so far, so good, and he relaxes in his seat in the slightest, his hand unclenching from the coffee that had now gotten colder. should he say something first or would she think it was rude? he’s not too sure what she’s thinking these days, having been away from her for too long. back then, he would have known what she was thinking almost immediately. however, it’s more than obvious that the times have changed. “says the one who had to ask me if we really did.” he can’t help the snarky comeback, deciding to keep quiet for a moment to make up for it, instead watching as she tries the coffee that is bound to be an uncomfortable temperature at this point. the look she makes only confirms this, gray unable to resist laughing at the look of disgust that momentarily crosses her features. “i’ll pay for a new cup, if you want one. it’s the least i could do, after ruining your day.”
he looks away again as that four letter word is mentioned, tracing the grooves that are etched into the old wooden table. “just wanted to hear you admit it, is all. so i knew i wasn’t wasting my time right now, i guess.” still, no eye contact. he’s embarrassed by his actions in his younger years. who wouldn’t be? “stronzo? you’re hurting my feels, chiara.” he frowns, “if it makes you feel better, spokane isn’t a place you would want to visit, regardless of whether i was there or not. it doesn’t seem like you would like it much, anyway.” he shrugs to end the sentence, taking a sip of his coffee despite having seen her reaction to her own earlier. he can stomach it, especially considering all of the lost writing time he’ll have to make up for later in the night. “if you’d been in jersey for as long as i have, you would know it’s almost impossible to avoid people. especially when you really want to. we might as well start acting civil before we uh, how do you say, arrabbiarsi at each other in public. like just now.” he never speaks in italian, but with her, it only seems right. “besides, what if i don’t want to be on bad terms with you, huh? what do you have to say to that?” her voice raises and gray notices the people side-eyeing them, so he puts his hand on hers in an effort to calm her. except he can’t do that anymore, and he realizes too late, yanking his hand back but not being able to take back those few seconds of contact. “mi dispiace, mi dispiace. don’t want everyone in town thinking you’re crazy, right?” he smiles, awkwardly, trying to hint at the fact that he’s not saying so to piss her off. “you mattered.” that’s all he adds to the matter, sitting back in his seat.
