Source ~ TikTok @/purpleellaandcoco
If you're autistic or ADHD and are working on the process of unmasking this is for you. This is for if you've spent so long developing your mask that you don't actually know who you are underneath it, and when people ask you "just unmask", you don't even know how to do that.
So, what I am going to suggest is that you make a Document of You.
This is something that I did when I first started unmasking. It can be in any format but I've done mine as a digital drawing, because I love to draw.
So, this is my Document of Me. What I've got is a picture of me of how I see myself.
And when I first made pictures like this, I didn't actually look like this because I was still dressing to fit in with my age group and my perception of what a normal person in my situation would do. So, I drew myself exactly how I wanted to look, which is kinda how I look now.
And then, in this box here, I put all the things I genuinely like.
So, when I first started unmasking, I was aware that I was doing things to fit in. Like, I would go on shopping trips with my friends because people enjoy shopping and even though I got sensory overload I kept doing it because I felt that's what I should be doing.
Or, I would get massages because massages are relaxing even though I find the touch too much and I really don't like it.
So, I made sure that in this box I only put things that I genuinely know bring me joy, and I like them, I'm not doing them because it will make me feel like I'm more normal.
So, I like watching Marvel movies, and I like to go out with my friends and eat sushi, and I like listening to ghost podcasts, and I like to watch Doctor Who.
So, this is all the things I genuinely like.
And then in the last box, I put aspects of my personality that feel real, rather than anything that I'm doing, or was doing, to try and be like a normal person.
So, I'm analytical. I analyse the crap out of everything!
I am bold. I am on the internet sharing all my stuff. That feels pretty bold.
And also, I like to think that I'm funny.
Now, this section you'll notice is quite empty on mine because I didn't want to put anything that wasn't definitely true and I'm planning on adding to it as I learn more about myself.
And I found this a really useful exercise because it taught me to recognise what was and what wasn't the mask and as a starting point for working out who I am and therefore what I'm aiming to be able to be authentically more of the time.
I hope this is helpful for you, too.