"etymologynerd" is at it again and this time i do feel i have to say something. the disability advocates have it covered on addressing the impact, but there's also a serious problem with the linguistics.
in a video shared on may 16, adam aleksic begins by saying: "i think we have to accept the fact that the 'r-word' [retard/retarded] is permanently coming back and it's functionally changed meanings to no longer directly refer to disabled people."
this first sentence alone betrays a fundamental misunderstanding of language change in several points.
this word never went away. what we're seeing now is an attempt at re-normalization by people who sense that they will not be socially punished by openly using this term.
we actually don't have to "accept" its return to mainstream use. for decades, disability advocates have worked to inform the public of the harm caused by casual use of this term. the harm has not disappeared, and neither will this advocacy and its impacts.
now i'm just mad. how tf does it NOT refer to disabled people? the entire point of a pejorative term is that it negatively invokes comparison to a person, group, etc. the assertion that the r-word has changed meanings is categorically false. at most, its primary context has changed from clinical to casually pejorative, but the insult fundamentally rests upon the original reference.
he goes on to refer to the "euphemism treadmill," another concept he misrepresents by extending the metaphor to say that terms which have been sufficiently distanced from their original reference are no longer pejorative. to quote: "...once we sufficiently distance a word from its historical usage, it stops taking on the same offensive power and just becomes colloquial instead."
which... what? what the fuck is he talking about? the words he uses as examples – idiot, imbecile, and moron – are definitely still offensive, if perhaps less impactful. "just becomes colloquial instead" is a nonsense phrase. are offensive words not colloquial? the only english word that comes to mind as having changed so much in definition as to no longer be offensive is "nice," which has been shifting in meaning for more than 700 years and was never a weaponized clinical term.
he ends by saying, "it is undeniably true that the people who are afraid to say the r-word right now are going to get old and die out, while younger generations keep saying it with no knowledge of where it came from." again, fundamentally misunderstanding language change in society over time. it rests on the assumption that we're all going to start or re-start using this slur and never have a conversation about its harms, which just completely ignores both the abovementioned disability advocacy and the fact that people tell each other not to use offensive words. you think i'm just not gonna teach my kids that using slurs is bad??
the whole video is devoid of both empathy and an understanding of long-term semantic change.
tl;dr etymologynerd is wrong, we do NOT "have to accept that the 'r-word' is coming back," and we all need to read more crip linguistics.
after continuing to stew about this during my lunch break, i'd also like to point out that framing this sort of thing as "inevitable" is some fascist bullshit.
autism cataclysm: chill ask games to answer invasive questions to
[note: this is not an extensive representation of all of autism. have fun but remember to copy the whole question out when sending asks for everyone. short term memory is a fuck]
1. If you have a diagnosis of autism would you choose to get that undiagnosed, if you have no diagnosis would you choose to get a diagnosis? Would you like to change when you got a diagnosis? Do you want a diagnosis off-record?
2. Are you able to maintain a routine by yourself or do you need someone or something to impose a routine upon you in order to follow it?
3. Which part of autism do you wish was better understood and more well known about the general populace?
4. Have you ever been in any in-person autism support groups? What were they like?
5. Have you taken part in any autism research as a participant? What was it like?
6. Which aspect of being autistic is most frustrating for you?
7. Do you experience The Rage? How is it for you?
8. Imagine a society that is geared towards catering to the needs of autistic people. What sort of reforms would you implement if you got to be in charge?
9. Do you collect anything? If you could collect an unlimited amount of anything, what would it be?
10. Money is a lie. True or false?
11. When people say "autism stereotypes" what do you think they mean by that? Does it describe you or anyone you know?
12. This will determine if you're in the clubTM. Did people joke about you becoming a serial killer/mass shooter just for being slightly different on account of being autistic?
13. Do you have autistic family members? Could you take them in unarmed combat?
14. What co-morbidities of autism do you have? How are they treating you? You deserve 500 in money.
15. Is there a topic or activity that just lives rent free in your head? Like it comes up and everything else fades away.
16. Autism on autism violence. Describe a bad interaction you had with another autistic person.
17. Autism plus autism alliance. Describe any good interactions you have had with another autistic person.
18. You get to direct the new upcoming research in autism studies. What are you researching and why? Feel free to lay out your whole methodology and write a literature review but I only accept APA, APSA, or ASA citation style. You can use Chigaco author-date but anything else is pushing it.
19. Do you observe occasions such as autism awareness month or similar? Why, or why not.
20. Imagine I am a 19 year old psychology student. You've just told me you're autistic/have autism, and I ask you what that is and what it's like? How are you going to explain.
21. Who is the best autism icon? It must be someone from death note. If you haven't read death note people go read it first and come back to me.
22. Autism is getting a slogan! What is it? You get to decide.
23. What does being autistic mean to you? It's an open ended question so write a lot.
24. How are you with mouth sounds? Do you make them? Repeat them? Are mouth sounds simply out of your reach?
25. I would like a funny or strange interaction with a healthcare professional that happened because you are autistic or they learned you have autism.
26. How do people understand autism in the country you live in, are from, or parents are from? How does it differ to what you experience online on this website? Do they call autism something else? etc.
27. How has your relationship with food been affected by autism? Any co-morbidities or other background information can be included as is relevant.
28. Where have you learnt the most about autism from? What things about autism did you learn that really made an impact on you? Are there any information sources on autism or autistic people that you recommend?
29. What support do you desperately need? Are you getting it?
30. Hahahahahahaha there's no thirty. Read them and weep. Or something.
you guys still make fun of people who can’t hold a normal 9-5 job, struggle with phone calls, generally don’t want to or can’t go outside, have not so great reading comprehension, have a hard time making small talk, struggle with picking up on sarcasm, and struggle with getting the joke
foam at mouth at so many autism conversations bc like this convo would be greatly improved if you all remember high support needs n early diagnosed etc autistics (or even better remember early diagnosed high support needs autistics👍) existed like
like for example there will be post that equally talk abt for example early dx & late dx autistic ppl n every single subsequent reaction comment etc solely focus on late dx n then pose as some general autistic experience like please get grip
if your general autism statement only applicable to very specific group people (esp ppl w most communication abilities communication privileges among autistic ppl so can be loud about it) then you need be lot specific about naming autism or widen your whatever claim on general autism
it fine be specific talk abt stuff most about specific group within autistic people n those autistic ppl still autistic yes but you can’t just rewrite autism to just that specific group n then call self “autism advocate”
It really really frustrates me when some people, disabled or not, say "well I can do [x thing] because I was forced to" in response to someone saying they can't do something.
"Well I had to eat whatever was for dinner or else I would have starved."
Me too! And I became severely malnourished because I could not eat what was put in front of me.
"My parents hit me if I didn't get good grades so I had to."
Mine too! Except I could not get good grades in a mainstream class no matter how hard I tried or what was at stake.
"I have to mask because I need to keep my job."
Me too! Except I can't even pass an interview because of my limited ability to mask.
"I can't have meltdowns around other people or else I'll be bullied/abused/mocked."
Same here! But I can't hold in my meltdowns.
You need to understand that some people will never be able to do the things you can, no matter how hard they're pushed or what the consequences are for not doing it. I'm really sorry that you were forced to talk, but someone else being unable to speak does not mean that they could if there was enough pressure. Stop assuming that everyone who doesn't mask/speak/etc. grew up in a safe and supportive environment. There are people who would (and do!) die because they're neglected and can't learn to just do things themselves.
I really don't want to be the "other people have it worse" guy or come across like I don't think people are allowed to complain about something just because it's less extreme than someone else's situation, but some of you need to have more compassion for people who are not like you. Just be kind. And if someone says they can't do something, don't assume that it's because they were coddled or whatever.
this post has a message that is overall true and is something that a lot of autistic people (which i’m assuming is the target audience since op uses the term infodumping specifically) could benefit from learning; that conversation is a two-way street and letting other people get a word in, and showing interest in their perspectives is helpful for social interaction.
however, i can’t get over how incredibly condescending, judgmental, and ableist the phrasing is, and — espcially considering the wording does read as if it specifically is aimed at autistic people who quite literally cannot help how their social cognition naturally functions — how that is completely unhelpful to fucking everyone. calling a behaviour that is literally inherent to many autistic people’s autistic traits “verbal masturbation” is disgusting bully behaviour, actually. not to mention that it reinforces extremly outdated psychiatric understandings of what autism fundamentally is (i.e. a disorder of extreme solipsism).
i also think that they’re approaching this from an incredibly bad faith angle in general, because it actually isn’t true that people’s bad reactions to autistic socialization is always just because we’re such useless worthless egocentric disableds who don’t care about anyone else. it’s actually very, very often because people are ableist and it doesn’t matter how much we try our best to engage in “normal” conversation because we’re perceived as fucking freaks. hope that helps.
Not to mention, I've been in many a situation where "normies" talked at me wankily about their domestic routines without asking me any questions and yet I was just expected to absorb this because, no, no, you see, they were talking about a normal thing, and the kind of things I'd like for them to ask me questions about (like literally anything that is a remotely noteworthy part of my life) are weird things
Conversation IS a two-way street and that applies to being infodumped "at" as well.
I love it when people infodump to me. Because I'm not just sat there waiting for my fucking turn to speak and resenting them for speaking too much. What I do instead is listen with the aim of understanding, and I ask questions of them. It is a joyful, two-way experience for all involved.
If you can't handle infodumping that is literally a skill issue.
[ID: tumblr post by @/macklesufficient with the drowned filter that reads: "hard to swallow pills dot jpg. the reason people don't like when you infodump about your uwu favorite things isn't because they don't like hearing about deep sea ecosystems or anime blorbos or whatever it may be. it's because talking /at/ someone is selfish. have you asked the other person any questions? do you care what they have to say? would you willingly listen to them infodump the same way or would you (be honest) stand there and wait for your turn to talk? people not responding well to your tadtalk on the thing you like isn't because they're normies who hate 'nerd stuff', it's because you have substituted conversation for verbal masturbation. hope this helps". end ID.]
i wish when you pointed out somebody being ableist toward autistic people they wouldn’t go “well i’m neurodivergent and-“
cool, i don’t actually care. “neurodivergent” and autism are not the same thing, and your neurodivergency does not preclude you from being ableist toward autistic people. it also doesn’t mean you understand the autistic lived experience. if you are not autistic, don’t speak on our experiences.
and btw it is ableist to insist autistic people should “work on themselves” to become more “socially acceptable”/conform to allistic ideals.
i took all my plushies down from the top of the armoire and i have too many to show all of them to you right now but here are some highlights
this is mufflet, my first ever plushie. my great grandma got him for me while i was still in the womb and i've loved him ever since <3 i don't know why his name is mufflet, i came up with that when i was about 3. he sleeps in the bed with me most nights so he was not up on the armoire
this is sweetie, the other one who was not up on the armoire. she's named after a real spider monkey my parents and i met at a wildlife sanctuary in costa rica. she sleeps in the bed with me when i travel, and i carry her around with me in the airport
this is purple monkey puppet, who used to be where i got my url from before i changed it to fratbrokayfaraday. the original purple monkey puppet was lost to a bath when i was two, so this is a replacement
this is my very big tiger alex! he's about three feet long and super soft
this is bird, who is a cat. my mom named them bird because i couldn't come up with a name
last but not least, this is bananas. he's wonky because i made him myself when i was 8 or so (with some guidance from my grandma, mostly to make sure i didn't hurt myself with the sewing equipment)
i love them all so much!!! especially banana, he looks like he was made with love <3 thank you for sharing 🤍🤍🤍
id: multiply photos of stuffed animals: a brown dog, a brown monkey, a purple monkey, a tiger, a brown and white cat & a yellow dog(?). end id
accomodations are important but i think they miss the point of this post. sometimes you can't do it. at all. someone needs to do it for you or it will never happen.
Rules: There are 30 questions corresponding to each day in April. Answer each question in your own separate post. You can answer all or just as many of them as you want. Make sure you tag your responses #30daysofautismacceptance and you can put them in the various autism tags too (#actually autistic, #autistic, #autism etc). Please help spread this around before the start of April! And with that, I hope everyone enjoys the questions and has fun with this year's autism month prompts. (Prompts under the read more button)
April 2nd: Are there some things in life that you either learned much later than your neurotypical peers or not at all?
April 1st: What age did you find out you were autistic? If you have a diagnosis, what was the diagnosis process like, if you can remember it?
April 3rd: Do you feel like being autistic makes you easier to take advantage of? More gullible perhaps? Talk about a time where this happened to you.
April 4th: Talk about online social interaction. Do you feel that being able to interact with others online, such as on social media, has been a positive or negative thing for you? Do you think its easier, harder, about the same as in person communication?
April 5th: Do you often interact with other autistic people? Online or in person? Do you find it harder, easier, about the same difficulty as with neurotypical people?
April 6th: Do you feel that autism affects the way that you view/interact with media? In what ways? Talk about it.
April 7th: Talk about autistic characters in media. What are your favorite canon autistic characters? Are there any characters that you view as autistic, that aren't officially so? What about them makes you think they are autistic? How do you relate to them? What would you like to see in autistic characters in the future?
April 8th: Do you think, since the time you found out you were autistic, that society's views on autism has gotten worse, better, or about the same? In what ways?
April 9th: Are you ever prevented from doing things because of sensory issues? For example, clothes you'd want to wear, places you'd like to go, etc. How does it make you feel? Talk about it.
April 10th: Are holidays/birthdays/similar social gatherings something that you find difficult in any way as an autistic person? Talk about it.
April 11th: Do you find doctor's/dentist's/etc appointments difficult as an autistic person? Why? Do you have trouble booking appointments or managing insurance? Do you have someone that helps with this? Do you have someone come to appointments to help advocate for you?
April 12th: Do you struggle with a sense of loneliness/social isolation? Has it become better, worse or about the same since you were younger? Is there anything that helps with it?
April 13th: Have you ever had to (or wanted to) correct someone's misconception about autism? What happened? Talk about it.
April 14th: Do you have issues with change? From small changes like a disruption to your daily routine, to big changes like a new boss at work for example. How does it affect you? Is there anything that helps with it?
April 15th: Talk about special interests. What is your current special interest? What do you like about it? Do you dislike anything about having special interests? Talk about past special interests.
April 16th: What are some accommodations that you would either like to have or already have to help you in your everyday life as an autistic person? If you could change an aspect of society to make things easier for you as an autistic person, what would you change?
April 17th: How do you feel about various autism organizations, such as ASAN, Autistic Women's and Nonbinary Network, Autism Speaks, etc
April 18th: Have you had trouble, now or in the past, with people not respecting your boundaries as an autistic person? For instance, people not listening when you don't like hugs or being touched etc.
April 19th: Talk about speech. Are you nonverbal? Do you use AAC? What is it like if you are? If not, do you have trouble controlling the tone of your voice? Do people often misread you based on your tone (thinking you're angry when you're not for example)? Do you have trouble controlling the volume of your voice, especially when excited about something? Do you tend to speak in a monotone?
April 20th: Give a shoutout to some of your favorite fellow autistic people. Could be an actor, writer, youtuber, a family member, another tumblr blog, etc. What do you like about them and/or their content (assuming they're an actor/youtuber/etc)? Would you recommend other people follow them?
April 21st: Do you have trouble keeping up with personal hygiene? Bathing, brushing your teeth, flossing, etc? Is it because of sensory reasons? Is there anything you've found helps with this?
April 22nd: If you had to describe to someone who knows nothing about autism what it feels like/what its like to be autistic, what would you say?
April 23rd: Are you generally a talkative person or a quiet person? Do you feel like this is influenced by being autistic? Do you tend to infodump about things you are interested in? Do you feel like people don't listen to you?
April 24th: Do you have trouble interpreting other people's intentions? Is it hard for you to tell when someone is deliberately being mean to you? Do you have trouble picking up when someone is lying to you or trying to trick you? Talk about it.
April 25th: Do you feel like you got the support you needed growing up as an autistic person? From your parents/teachers/other adults? What did they do to support you? What do you feel you would have needed that you didn't get support wise? Do you feel like you have the support you need at the age you are now?
April 26th: Lets talk about food. Are there certain foods that you cannot eat due to sensory reasons? Do you tend to avoid spice? Do you eat a lot of the same foods over and over? Do you have a same food that you tend to eat often because its safe or familiar?
April 27th: (If the first question doesn't apply to you, you answer the second one. Or if you want you can answer both) Are you lgbtq+? Do you feel like there's any intersection between both identities? Alternatively, if you're not: have you experienced ableism before? What was the situation in which it occurred? What did you do? Have you ever had someone start treating you differently after they found out you were autistic?
April 28th: Do you prefer person first language (example: person with autism) or identity first language (autistic person)? Why?
April 29th: Let's talk about relationships, both platonic and romantic. How are your relationships with your family (parents/siblings/etc)? Are they generally supportive and understanding of you as an autistic person? If you have (non-autistic) siblings, do you feel as though you were treated differently from them growing up or even now? What about friends? Is making friends something you find hard or easy? How does being autistic affect your friendships? Are you now or have you ever been in a romantic relationship? Have your partners been understanding of your needs as an autistic person? In what ways does being autistic affect your relationship?
April 30th: Autistic pride. What does being autistic mean to you? Are you proud to be autistic? Why? What would you like your final message of autism acceptance month to be?
