Animus Incognito

Auxilus

[auxilustheowl]

An Apprentice

Volstag’s brother approached me two days ago and asked me to be his teacher of elemental magic. Firstly I didn’t want to have an apprentice, however Galinn is a brother of Volstag, a brother of Raven Shaman, who helps me with Odiniya. If I can somehow repay my gratitude, then to teach Galinn is the least I can do. And being completely honest… Galinn might help me to have more time for myself as well. We both can benefit from this arrangement.

I already gave him his first task. And I recommended to find a mesmer who can help him with that. Galinn may not know that, but finding a mesmer will be more valuable and important for his learning than the task itself.

Galinn has to think about the connection between elemental magic of his and mental magic of mesmers. He needs to start to work on his mind, because this is the opening gate and main source of any magic in the world, no matter what kind of magic it is. Our mind is not just a guest in the realm of matter. Our mind is the creator and governor of the realm of matter. The universe is shaped by our minds and therefore the magic comes out of it. All the weapons and talismans we use, are rather tools how to magnify or direct our own magic.

When Galinn starts to understand how his own mind works, and that the magic has no limits, he will find A way to his elemental one. And then, he will be able to find the right person who can help him with the task, he finds the compatible magic he needs.

This personal accomplishment will lead to deep inner satisfaction. It will give Galinn the right opening starting point to trust his own abilities and hopefully some desire to try more, experiment and discover beyond common limits of ordinary elementalists. He needs to be open and flexible to options offered by his magic.

I cannot believe that… I have a student.

[auxilustheowl]

The storm of hectic and stressful times is getting weaker. I don’t want to smile and celebrate yet, but I hope the outlook is positive. We’ve finally saved Ataksuru. After several weeks of missing the boy, he’s finally back in Hoelbrak. And the best thing about all of it? Brandon is alive as well. My vision of corrupted Brandon was true, however my vision was not complete and rather misleading. Well, I should say my own interpretation was misleading. I didn’t expect Brandon’s gift to be developed in such scale already. But I’m most grateful about that. I believe, soon I have to talk to Brandon about his gift.

And the gift is not the only thing I will need to talk to him. His incredible lack of his own responsibility is alarming. He was afraid of Ataksuru like every loving brother would be, but he’s too young, too irresponsible and still too weak to be a leader. Why? He just let Ataksuru to walk and fight immediately after the basic healing, even though Ataksuru was tortured for a month, suffering from hypothermia, underfed, unconsciousness… He has much to learn. He could simply let Ataksuru die because of his reckless decisions and euphoria of saving his brother, and all the risk, all the time, training and all the scarification of mine and Tien’s clan would be for nothing. Ataksuru might be stubborn, but Brandon should be the strong and responsible one. If he cannot handle his own family, how the hell he can handle anything else?

Faolan has come back as well. I don’t know why she left without any word, but now she’s back. She and Brandon met in Hoelbrak once Ataksuru was taken care of. It was obvious that the meeting was a bit awkward and I blame the lack of communication between them. Faolan is young and reckless as well, it seems.

Is it the age what is the issue everywhere? Or is that some kind of new Norn characteristics I wasn’t aware of? I saw Ataksuru, Brandon and Faolan… each one of them would deserve some proper discussion. I can think about Odiniya and Zsinya as well to add to that group. But maybe I really care too much. Maybe it’s time to give them all more space without my inputs. Maybe I put myself into their lives too much. Maybe I intervene too much. Maybe I’m just too old and see everything from a too much different perspective. After all… mistakes are the best way for everyone to learn. Ataksuru, Brandon, Faolan, Zsinya, Odiniya… learn from your own mistakes and bear all the consequences of your actions.

Speaking of Odiniya, we made some progress. Doctor Xil, got some blood purified by ser Varden and we believe it may help Odiniya to gain some more strength to fight with the demon inside her. How to get rid of the demon? We still don’t know.

But what I already know is that doctor Xil is probably sorting her life out. Finally. I’m very happy for that. It seems there is a man in her life, Alkir, who has some positive influence on her. She said she trust me, she calls me her brother and I… I keep my distance. Why? I felt like I was in the middle of some storm and my life and issues were twisted my body in all directions. Dhuum’s lakey, Brandon’s possible death, Ataksuru’s possible death, spider demon, spider attacks, sacrificial rituals with the Tien clan, all the sad encounters where Xil was involved, kidnapping of me, stalkers, people killed by Odiniya because of me, all the people I put in danger because of holding Odiniya near the manor and Divinity… and I haven’t started yet… I feel like I need to explode and scream all day just to get all the anger, disappointment, stress and frustration out of me… I just don’t know what to think any more. It’s the phase of my life when I hate what I am and when I wish to be an ordinary human with ordinary issues. I hate seeing mortals being so reckless and I hate being me right now.

Okey, back to work. Volstag, Vrain and Xil provided some valuable information about the demon… let’s kill the bitch and then… I’m going to take my first vacation after fifteen centuries.

[auxilustheowl]

Another Battlefront

Doctor Xil, shaman Volstag and demon Vrain are finally coming to examine Odiniya. I wanted to set up an examination group for her, to find out what we are dealing with first, before we know what to do. Xil is perfect as she’s Odiniya’s friend and a doctor. She knows what is best for Odiniya from medical perspective and I also hope she will solve the fact, that I need to keep the demon influence weak, and at the same time we all want to keep Odiniya away from any health danger. Volstag is the Raven Shaman and a Norn with some knowledge of demonology, he’s perfect for Odiniya, because he’s from the same culture and his shaman abilities can have positive influence on her. And… Volstag cares for Odiniya as well and would protect her, if Vrain will try to kill her. Yes, Vrain doesn’t like the idea of a demon trapped so close to his friends. Vrain is also a demon, but a demon I can trust and who’s my ward as well. His origin gives the examination group another valuable attribute. I hope he will be able to see the real demon in Odiniya.

Xil, Volstag and Vrain… three souls I believe can start the process of freeing Odiniya. Together they should give me the right answers and beat the monster in her.

I’m not going to join them. I have another task to do. Right now I’m secretly watching them from the window. Xil is trying to pick the lock of the house, where Odiniya is held. How the hell is Xil able to do that? Hmm… it seems like Vrain isn’t patient and kicks into the door. They are in now and it’s time for me protect them…

I’m going outside closer to the hills behind the manor. I can see the building with Odiniya and the group behind my back. It’s getting dark and I know once they will start, the demon will be pissed. A pissed demon trapped in the corner means troubles… I’m watching the hills for any sign of movement… I’m not a demon expert like Vrain or Volstag, but my visions and my own observation gave me enough hints to know, that… the sun is gone and the darkness of the night is spreading; stars are dotting the sky; the shadows merge together and the hills are covered in the dark… I know that the demon is not a lesser one and therefore has its own devilish minions… I’m trying to penetrate the darkness and recognize any movement from just a simple wind playing with branches and leaves… minions of many legs and mandibles… I’ve heard some rustle and quickly turns in the direction of the sound. I’m trying to narrow my eyes to focus on the dark, to see through.

----

Another rustle sound, this time the opposite side… and another one coming from other part of the hill. I’m not fast enough to follow all the sounds. Lights coming from the manor’s windows are not sufficient to illuminate the hills. I immediately transform into my owl form, my clothes and staff falling on the ground and the feathered bird, me, is flying up… to fully see the the hillside with better eyes – eyes of an owl adapted for the night.

What I see is… oh Gods… even in my owl form the view gives me the shivers. I’m trying to land as fast as possible and grab my staff. The minions are here. The whole hillside is moving like a black avalanche. The whole hillside is covered in spiders of various sizes…

Thanks to Turin’s book of protection wards around the manor I’m already prepared for the minions, but it won’t be enough. I transform back to my human form just one yard above the ground and my staff. My elements are ready. “Try to get me, you miserable slaves.” I know I’m grinning even though I’m afraid, but this is my part while the group is helping Odiniya… the fight is here… I’m going to melt the spiders!

[auxilustheowl]

The Choice of Death

Time is running out. We all know it, but we have to wait… the right time is essential. Ataksuru is in danger and his life depends on our quick, precise and success action. Me and Grim were able to find out, he’s somewhere in Frostgorge Sound imprisoned by some nomad Svanir clan moving all around. It is more than certain they will stop in the Barrowstead in the next few days. Brandon must be ready to save him and I have to go with him…

…and I have to choose… to save Brandon… or… to save Ataksuru. The vision was clear. During the rescue mission Brandon will be touched by a Svanir shaman spreading Jormag’s corruption. And Ataksuru? Right now his fate depends on his strength and our faith that Svanir won’t try to corrupt him as well. Ataksuru wouldn’t survive that, he’s a human.

I… I have only one tonic against the corruption and I even don’t know if it works. Shall I keep it for Brandon or for Ataksuru? One of them will probably die and I’m afraid the choice is up to me.

[auxilustheowl]

Blood And Pain For Ataksuru

I have a hole in my left hand. It hurts like a never ending burning, but it’s for a good cause. Blood magic has its own price; especially when it’s a powerful one. Ataksuru is out there, his life is slowly evaporating and I can only guess how bad his condition is right now. Fortunately Turin and Lhaosan introduced me to a direct relative to Ataksuru. A family blood I can use to create a vessel of protection and give Ataksuru some chance to fight with the death.

His relative, Zhao, didn’t hesitate with the help, well in all fairness… he didn’t know what to expect. He trusted me and he was determined to help his lost family. That was all what mattered.

I carved a vessel protection rune on my and Zhao’s left hand. One big circle into the palm cut with the tip of my blade to ask for a family bound. One small circle in the middle to ask for a connection. After that I carved four small lines to connect the outer and inner circle splitting the annulus into four same parts. The first line represented Zhao’s life and fire to be copied for Ataksuru for some warm passed into his body. The second line was meant to pass Zhao’s health to provide some regeneration. The third line represented the strength in the form of some regained stamina and last line was passing the health mind to give Ata some clear thoughts and some hope to live.

The pain of sliced skin was more than irritating, but the worse had yet to come. Zhao placed his hand on top of the desk to expose the rune. I placed my palm on top of his one to allow both of our runes to touch. Our blood was mixing and pouring between our fingers on the desk. I saw some flashes of memories from his life thanks to that… a difficult life of constant fight for surviving.

And then… I gave all my strength into the next hit and stabbed both of our hands with my dagger. The blade penetrated both small circles carved into our palms till it reached the wooden desk. Our hands were shaking in pain, but we couldn’t draw them back as they were pinned to the desk. None of us was happy and I felt really sorry for Zhao. The ritual was almost over. I twisted with the dagger and we almost screamed in pain, but we both are fighters in our own specific ways and we knew we are saving a life… hopefully. The small circle was filled with our freely offered blood and pain and the whole penetration act sealed the ritual. The family vessel was already transferring to Ataksuru…

I can only hope this can give him more time.

Time to put on my gloves again. Time to hide my palm for today.

[auxilustheowl]

The Change of Life

When I was just an ordinary human I enjoyed my life a lot. Life was so precious… dangerous, every new day was like a gift and an opportunity to celebrate. And then… it changed… I wasn’t that ordinary human anymore. From that moment I probably wasn’t human at all. But no matter how strange my duties were, I still tried to live like a normal person, to enjoy everyday pleasures… to remind myself I still was a normal being.

Well… with the next centuries I forgot all of that. There was no point to enjoy the day as other people did. My day was too hectic. My tasks too important. And everything around me was… very temporary. Generations died and born. Nations raised and fell. The circle of life run in front of my eyes every day. And the circle of life definitely didn’t run for for me. I unwillingly devoted my life to my wards and after all the centuries I protected, raised, saved and sometimes even killed, hundreds of them. Everything for them. Everything for the Reapers. Everything for Grenth. And… nothing for me.

I didn’t have any private life at all. No time for that. No convenience for that. Not even the right requirements for that. Many times I loved someone, but… what was the point in that? I wasn’t able to tell them what I was. I couldn’t. If I tried they were scared and run away. If I didn’t try, I had to lie to them and I had to lie about everything every day. So… every pseudo-relationship ended at the beginning. And then I resigned completely and never tried again. Centuries passed… Kryta became an independent nation… the Great Dynasty was founded… Magadore was defeated… Mad King Thorn was killed… the Great Northern Wall was erected… Queen Salma united Kryta… Charrs built Black Citadel… dwarves marched against Primordus… coasts of Kryta were flooded by the raised Orr land… Sylvari appeared for the first time… and everytime I loved someone I just kept my feelings hidden inside and let the time to suppress it.

But now… the world is different. It’s crazy, more vibrant and diverse than ever before. And nowadays I’ve broken one of my rules… my true identity isn’t top secret anymore, well… for a few people. Doctor Xil knows exactly what I am and Gevaudan partially as well. He probably thinks I’m some kind of evil idiot who tried to kill his subordinate… but that’s ok. And lately I decided to be completely honest to another person.

At first we met some months ago and the meeting was rather awkward and totally unmemorable for most of the participants. However sometimes even the smallest thing can completely change our life, we just don’t know it yet. After many other encounters with him I admitted myself that I liked his company and I decided to do something totally different. Something I haven’t done for ages, literally. Well, I wasn’t alone in that decision, I have to say that Xil and crazy Asura Xalula seeded the need of change into my mind, but yes, I decided to break the rule.

And one day I told him… Turin… what I really am and what I do. He didn’t run away. He didn’t kicked me out of his manor. He showed me the greatest support I’ve ever got in my entirely never ending life. And now, I’m looking forward for every new moment I can be with him.

He’s the first and last thing I think about every day and I’m very happy for that.

[auxilustheowl]

My boat struck something deep. Nothing happened. Sound, silence, waves. Nothing happened, or perhaps everything has happened, am I’m sitting in the middle of my new life.

~ Juan Ramon Jimeniz

[auxilustheowl]

Kidnapped

I would never guessed that the weirdest and probably most dangerous place in Divinity is just next to the Sun. Few weeks ago a guy called Restorius just wanted to stab me with his knife for no reason. I’ve never seen him before. After a short fight he run away. And now, few weeks later… almost the same place and I was kidnapped during the day. Amazing!

About two weeks ago I encountered some mesmer called Alwyn, who annoyingly tried to prove me how interesting he is. He wanted a date or whatever. I thought I gave him enough signals to show him that I wasn’t interested at all. Unfortunately he decided to go for some stalking. He even went in with one Zero’s stalker, to make one of my and Zero’s afternoons pretty unpleasant. The story between four of us is something I would rather forget, however I believed it was over and there won’t be Alwyn ever again.

I was wrong.

Now… no saying hello at all, he just quietly came to me from behind and knocked me down. I lapsed into unconsciousness and the next thing I saw was chains on my legs, arms and neck in the middle of some swamp.

It turned out that the dear fucking asshole stalker Alwyn kidnapped me because of my elemental magic and wanted to sacrifice me to save his sister Korra! I knew there was something fishy about him from the first moment I saw him. And now I was shackled in chains in the middle of nowhere. Apparently his sister was trapped by a Risen Abomination called Ketsurak and served another… regular… elementalist… solemn offering for that monster. Alwyn wanted to save his sister and instead of her… his plan was to offer me. Me! Hell no! I wasn’t going to be a snack for some fraking huge creature with teeth long as my arms. It flattered me, but no, thank you.

Well, the idiot didn’t know who he was dealing with. I am seemingly an elementalist, but I’m also something more. I transformed into my owl form and very easily freed myself from the chains. I was so pissed I saw only black and flew immediately against his face to give him one big feathered lesson… yeah… that was a mistake… I admit that. I didn’t recognize that Alwyn was just one of the projections of true Alwyn and I hit a tree trunk behind him. The original fucker grabbed me, in my owl form, and sliced my right wing! He could clip my wings to make it without pain, but no! He decided to go for my blood. That was the last straw. I already hated that man completely.

Because of the pain I automatically transformed back into my human form and ended up in chains again. My right arm was bleeding, Ketsurak was hungry, I was shackled, I was naked because of the transformation and the stupid mesmer won again!

I tried to convince him, that we can beat the monster together and save his sister without sacrificing any other elementalist, especially me, but he didn’t seem to be enthusiastic about my generous offer and great idea…

The swamp was shaking, the surface of smelly dark water was waving and I began to be really really really afraid. Ketsurak was coming. I didn’t want to be eaten alive! I had to calm down and think. I wanted to see Turin again. I needed to live. I felt the fire for life, for love, for my wards, and I felt some urgent need to kick Alwyn’s ass. I screamed and focused all my energy to summon fire and melt down the chains. You know how it usually goes… just two seconds left before it would be too late for me. I saved myself. I killed Ketsurak and then I sprayed the tree trunk I hit before with Alwyn’s face blood. I didn’t kill the damnass. I’m not a killer. His sister was saved and if he will show his face to me ever again, his soul will suffer, he can bet.

[auxilustheowl]

There Is Hope

Finally! We’ve found Odiniya and she’s taken care of. I’m glad it was not so difficult like the last time me and Odiniya met.

This time we were lucky she was able to take control of her body and mind for once again and therefore was sane and willing to listen. Unfortunately she killed another four people since her last escape, and she was stout to end her own life by jumping from the roof of the former Owl Lodge. I was not ready to lose my ward and I would did anything to protect her life… and… let’s be honest… I wasn’t fancy to watch any suicide attempt either.

Right now, she’s in Lhaosan and Turin’s Manor, locked in the room. As difficult as it might sound, I have to regularly apply bloodletting to keep her as weak as possible. Her blood is the power source for the demon and we need to keep the demon weak. No discussion about that.

The demon needs to be destroyed fast. First of all, I need an examination of the demon inside her. I need Zsinya to convince Vrain for that. There isn’t any other better choice than check the demon by another one.

I will need to consult Odiniya’s health condition with doctor Xil, but… *sighs* … I don’t know if she talks to me…

[auxilustheowl]

Time For Defense

The danger has its name, probably more than one. It’s time to be ready. I cannot afford any hesitation, any negligence. I have everything I need, I have my energy back and I’m ready to call for my triad of magic to protect this place…

I’m walking through the hall of Lhaosan and Turin’s manor. I don’t care about all the servants, I’m not greeting anyone… I need to focus. I’m striding to the garden… to the middle of the whole manor. Time to open my bag and take out the four elemental cantles and my ritual dagger. I have also that small dagger with Odiniya’s blood. I’m so glad I was able to stab her yesterday. The demon’s source of power – blood – on the blade is going to help me to focus the spell against her. The same counts for Sylas, but I don’t need his blood. I touched his shattered soul and I know his immortality is bound to it, that’s all I need in his case. Two entities who won’t be able to get to this manor once I’m done. Sylas might not be a thread at all, but after what happened yesterday… it’s better to be ready and not regret anything later.

I’m raising my staff to the sky and beginning with the enchanting. Calling for my magics. The soul one emits immediately and is still with me; the elemental one is summoned thanks to my staff and empowered thanks to the Cantle of Sky, Earth, Sea and Sun; and my blood magic is called by my own blood spilled on the ground I tend to protect.

I’m cutting my arm, which is holding the staff, to symbolize a connection between all kinds of my magic. And I can immediately see a red blooded beam emitting from the staff up to the sky and then falling back, but not in the same direction. The manifestation of blood magic is flowing down some invisible wall in the shape of large dome surrounding the manor. The barrier against Odiniya and Sylas is being created.

A yellow beam of light shooting to the sky and then flowing down the invisible barrier has brought the power of the Armor of Inferno for me. A blue beam has brought the Armor of Maelstrom. A brown beam represented the Armor of Iron Mist and a grey beam added the Armor of Whirlwind. The elemental magic of destruction, cleansing, blocking and repulse enriched the blood barrier -- the representation of forbidden entry.

The last beam of white colour, the soul magic to represent eternity, has sealed the whole chanting process. Ten minutes has passed and I finished the spell saying all words very clearly giving the fate a hint, that I’m not ready to be defeated yet. And I’m not going to let the monsters hurt people I care for.

I’ve cut myself again and started the whole spell from the beginning. My soul might be immortal, but I’m dying every day over and over again and therefore I have to enchant the spell each time for every single day I wish the spell to last; and I tend to give this spell as much of days and my energy as I can. After all, I have lots of space to cut on my own arm!

And when I’m done… I’m coming for you, Odiniya.

[auxilustheowl]

Broken Trust?

Xil gave me a key to her house yesterday. She was incredibly kind trying to show me that even I can have a family. That I can be a part of family. She offered me to visit her home anytime I want or need and she told me she considered me as her brother, she never had.

And then… everything happened. She tried to kill a child to see her enemy suffer. She saw me attacking our common friend and she saw me claiming our friend is a demon.

So much happened yesterday, so much confusion and missing trust.

She doesn’t trust me with Odiniya and the demon. I completely understand that. However from what I was able to see during the fifteen centuries, trust is essential for any family. And yesterday showed both of us, that there isn’t enough trust between us. I have to give her her key back. It is not possible for me to accept the kind move of generosity when the person doesn’t trust me and when I don’t trust the person either.

There is a demon out there, there is a winged monster out there, there is a revenge and lust for suffer, there is a lack of proofs… there isn’t trust… there is pain.

[auxilustheowl]

When Everything Goes To Hell

My last visions hinted me that the future might be dark… What I didn’t know was that the future was so close and so much dark.

When I said that it seemed like the pain of life and fate is cumulating and it wants to explode, I totally didn’t know it will be a completely literal prediction. What happened yesterday was beyond anything I expected and it has possibly changed everything… everything.

The warning regarding doctor Xil, shaped into its particular form yesterday. She was determined to see the bird man and show him her rage. I knew the man is dangerous and I knew if she goes, it will be a disaster. So I had to go with her and at least watch over her. Who would like to collect bones of his friend? I definitely was not ready to see Xil dying. She needed someone with her. Me and Turin went to the Ebonhawke to stand by her side… no one expected, not even a bit of, what happened next.

We faced some probably noble man Sylas, his female Sylvari companion Piceous and some child called Basil. I still cannot believe anything what happened there… It was messy… incredibly messy. And I totally don’t understand why Xil did the vicious move. She went directly to the child and tried to kill him! She tried to kill a child for her own revenge, just to see Sylas suffer for what he did to her. I was shocked to watch Xill to go to destroy one life just to see another person suffer. She’s definitely changed and I was… I still am angry, confused, disappointed and sad at the same time. But there was no time for hesitation and I knew something bad is coming. That was the moment when the whole fight started. Me and Turin faced the bird man Sylas, and Xil was fighting the child and the Sylvari.

It was like something is trying to show me that the day hadn't started yet when I found out what Sylas really /is/. My hand slipped into his chest to drag his soul once he was close enough. I would be able to squeeze it and rip out of his body if he wasn’t what he was…

Xil is involved in something beyond her capacity and I don’t know what will happen now. Thanks to Turin’s mesmer spells we were able to escape; we had to escape. I wouldn’t be able to get Sylas’ soul at all, and Xil was defeated by the other two. Retrospectively, when I know what Sylas is, I believe the child is not innocent either, not to mention the Sylvari. They might be monsters as well. One way or another, putting me and Turin into a position of defending someone who wants to kill a child to hurt someone else… that is hard to accept.

Unfortunately the worst had yet to come.

After we retreated to Lhaosan and Turin’s mansion and ser Varden healed Xil with his guardian magic, Odiniya appeared in Beetletun. Actually not Odiniya anymore, but the demon who seeded herself inside Odiniya and has tormented her for months now…

Damn! I screwed up! I tried to keep her away from people, from Divinity, from her friends. I tried to keep her away from alcohol. I tried to suppress her dreams. Anything what would allow the demon wake up and manipulate with Odiniya, before I know how to save her… how to save my ward.

Everytime Odiniya drunk or was sleeping it was easier for the demon to take control over her. We managed to suppress her dreaming and temporarily give Odiniya immunity when she was sleeping, but I was not fast enough with my help, I’m afraid. The demon was stronger and stronger and Odiniya didn’t listen to me anymore.

When I knew she’s in Beetletun I was ready to knock her down and drag her to any dungeon to keep her safe from herself and keep everybody else safe till I know what to do.

I found her near the lake. She was talking to Xil, and the only thing I could see was all the dead bodies Odiniya left behind when the demon took control over her body and mind. Tens of people dead because of fun and now… there she was… standing next to Xil. I was definitely not ready to see Xil dead after another attempt to save her life that day…

The worst you can do is to start a fight to imprison a Norn woman in Beetletun, when no one, not even your friends, knows why. Why would you attack a poor woman? I managed to keep Odiniya trapped in my force field, but Xil and Gabriel, Turin’s employee, believed I got possibly mad and they tried to save Odiniya. I decided to tell them the truth… so silly of me. How could I think they would believe me? All the weeks I tried to keep it in secret… to protect Odiniya and anyone else. If people knew there is a demon in her… what would Vrain do? What would Zsinya do? They both were ready to get the killer, they couldn’t know it’s Odiniya. What would the demon do if she knew other people are aware of her identity? She would definitely try to kill them all. Stupid of me… I’m trying to find logical reasons for my actions and to excuse the whole situation… Nothing could help my case that time. I was the attacker there and Odiniya didn’t plan to show her true face, she tried hard to act like a victim. I was the villain and therefore she escaped.

I knew exactly what would happen next. My vision of fighting with Odiniya in some back alley… I had to go to Divinity for her, even though I knew she would break my arm according to the vision. I had to, because any murder caused by the demon is my responsibility, my failure. Any other dead person would mean I failed.

I don’t remember much… she twisted my arm, she dislocated my shoulder and then finally broke the arm… the bone penetrating my skin…hitting a wall ten yards further… broken ribs, grazed skin… kicking into my chest… more ribs broken… choking on my blood…her words about excusing her, because she needs to go back to talk to Xil…

She left me there… I could barely move to reach for my staff, but I don’t give up easily. I healed myself as much as possible with some water magic and tracked her down. Odiniya and Xil were in the Dead End. Thanks Gods, Xil was alright. I was really worried I would be too late to save the doctor.

It was time for confrontation again, but I was too naive. Odiniya was laughing at me. A barely moving man who used his own staff as a supportive stick, completely dirty, covered in blood and water, heavily breathing and bruised trying to explain Xil, that the Norn woman is a demon… she didn’t believe me of course and she left. I don’t blame her and I was glad in fact, because she would be safe anywhere, but near Odiniya.

When I was alone with Odiniya again, the demon almost killed me. I was lucky to draw my dagger and stab her foot… one desperate move after she pinned me to the ground and stepped on my chest. She run away and I was shattered on the ground in my own blood and pain. She threatened to kill my wards if I won’t stop. She threatened to burn Lhaosan’s house… I didn’t have enough energy to warn anybody… I had to die to restore my body even though I knew it was too early and I risked I wouldn’t be available if my wards need me… I had to risk that.

Now it’s a new day and I need some plan.

[auxilustheowl]

Visions of Pain

A glass is shaking, it’s because of me. My hand is shaking and I’m not able to calm myself down. The water has to wait, I may be thirsty, but I need time to get my nerves back to some normal Auxilus’ state.

I did my regular night duty. I sacrificed myself to get visions for my wards. Easy to say, complicate to explain, difficult to execute. I don’t remember what I see till I get completely restore my energy, after that I’m able to replay what I saw in my mind. And this morning… stupid glass! I threw the glass against a wall. Yes, I know, I’m definitely not calmed down. I don’t recall when I had so disturbing visions for the last time. All of them. Every single one. The pain of life and fate is cumulating and it wants to explode.

--  #1  --

Definitely an abstract vision. Three warnings in fact. I’m flying over the land of branded devastation, I see a pair of hawks following me on both sides, they keep something in their beaks, it’s covered in blood… a piece of furry flash. I think I understand… I’m in Fields of Ruins. Suddenly I have a leaning towards some group of silhouettes. I’m landing and my body transforms back to it’s naked human form. I would like to hesitate with approaching to the unknown group, but I cannot control the vision. I’m just a spectator.

The silhouettes are clear now. Three group of grey stone colourless statues in the middle of empty plain. The first sculptural group shows me a pair of Charrs. I know them! It’s Tora and Eden, two Charrs from the Storm warband. They are fighting together. The expression on both of their faces tells me that it’s painful. There is something going on and it mentally hurts them. Wait a minute, they have a hole in their chests and the paw of each other is grabbing the empty space.

Suddenly the sculptural group changes and I can see some ruins of what was Eden’s statue before. I have to look away from that as my mind is flooded with sadness.

The second statue exhibition shows two Asurans. I can recognizes those pigtails. It’s Xalula and the red Inquest one. Something is wrong, their hands are trying to reach for something on the ground. A big egg. I see desperation and disappointment on their faces. Something didn’t go according to their plans.

In one second the egg cracks. It was unexpected and scary sound and I shrinked back. The eggshell has a large crack allowing to see what is inside. Nothing. Just a smoke coming from inside. And I already know what it means… something soulless is or was created.

I can see a strong stinging pain in my own chest and I have to look away from this sculptural group as well.

The last stone exposition gives me a picture of doctor Xil and some man… I don’t know him. Maybe he’s not a man at all. It’s a bird boy with large wings on his back. They both stand side by side of each other. Very strange, because they don’t look like friends. The look on Xil’s face tells me more; she’s… disgusted? Or maybe completely resigned. I don’t know.

With a blink of eye the statues offer a different scenery. I see stony grey Xil shouting in pain and inner emotional devastation, ripping large wings into pieces. She’s definitely looking for some kind of revenge. However I see something strange on her outfit. I need to go around to see it… oh… her spine is torn out and placed under her feet arranged in the shape of number eight.

--  #2  --

The other visions are detailed and specific as usual because my wards are part of these visions. None of them makes me happy.

I’m in a back alley. It must be Divinity Reach. I’m not here alone. Odiniya is with me and we are fighting. In one moment she grabs my arm and breaks it like it’s only a thin wooden branch. The pain moves me immediately to another vision…

--  #3  --

Corsus is marching through Black Citadel. He’s regained all his power and life force after Zsinya tried to kill him. Well, she killed him… sort of. He’s heading to the Asura gate leading to Lion’s Arch and he’s sharpening his claws. I can barely hear what he’s mumbling. I need to focus more… “Time to repay you a visit, woman.”

--  #4  --

It’s a mountainous land covered in endless snow and never ending ice. Me and Brandon are walking in the middle of a snowstorm. “I hope Ata isn’t outside in this.” Brandon notes while helping me to get through the strong wind lashing my face.

I have a small blackout of this vision and the next scene is more than disturbing. We are in the cave probably. I’m not sure, the ice corruption is everywhere, it’s hard to tell. I am screaming at Brandon to run away. I don’t know if he cannot hear me or doesn’t pay attention to my hopeless voice. But it’s too late… a Svanir shaman touches his chest. A Svanir shaman spreading the Jormag corruption. I’m screaming with tears in my eyes “Brandooooon!”

[auxilustheowl]

Pressed For Time

I have to hurry up. Odiniya is getting worse with every single day. I’m still missing too many ingredients, but at least I was able to obtain the elemental cantles from Dierdre’s Steps known as Hidden Garden. I wasn’t alone there. Turin’s company was more than welcomed and I’m actually very surprised how well he handled all the climbing and jumping. It was obvious, the mesmer didn’t like heights, yet he was incredible.

Actually everything went unexpectedly well. Except maybe the Cluster of Earth. We were attacked by several strong Earth Elementals at the same time, it was very hectic and painful. They crippled me many times and I think I lost too much blood in that fight because I was very exhausted at the end and my coat was pretty soaked. I regretted to take Turin with me, because in that moment I was very afraid he will get hurt because of me and my business. When I saw one of the Elementals striking Turin and knocking him to the ground I got furious. I should be more careful who I take on my trips, where and when. It’s stupid for others to suffer because of me.

When I had all cantles I showed Turin the Flower of Wishes, protected by several huge Mosshearts. They didn’t pay any attention to us. Of course! They didn’t have any reason not to trust us. Turin wished for Ataksuru to stay safe and alive til Brandon will find him. I had my personal wish as well.

And now… what is next…

Scrying Pool water

Cantle of Sky

Cantle of Earth

Cantle of Sea

Cantle of Sun

demon blood

[REDACTED] blood

[REDACTED] blood

stardust

condensed Mist essence

corrupted lodestone

Ok… demon blood. I know exactly where to get it, but I don’t know /how/ to get it. I cannot just ask him, he doesn’t know me and therefore doesn’t trust me either. I have to ask Xil regarding that. He will trust her.

[auxilustheowl]

Brandon

Brandon is evolving. His spirit inside him is growing and changing into [REDACTED]. I didn’t expect that so soon, it might be caused by missing Ataksuru. His brothers is most probably held captive by Svanirs somewhere in North part of Shiverpeaks. And Brandon desires to find him as soon as possible, we all know he’s not completely ready to face any danger in the North and therefore he’s trained by ser Varden, who oversees his magical guardian training. I believe Ataksuru and the guardian magic might be the main reasons, why Brandon is changing so quickly. Do I need to talk to him about that? I don’t know. Not yet… I suppose. It’s not the right time yet. But I need to be ready, Faolan needs to be ready, Ataksuru needs to be ready… damn! Brandon, what are you doing to me?

He was able to see my carved blood magic rune on my left palm even though I had my glove on. I don’t know what he saw exactly… was it the presence of blood magic? Was it the pain he saw? Or the blood itself? Some disturbances in my aura? Well, I was finally able to reset my body last night and there is no more rune on my hand… not sure how I will explain that if Brandon asks.

Why is everything cumulating right now? I need to find out how close is Brandon to his full transformation. I need to deal with Odiniya, to try to find Ataksuru, to watch irresponsible Zsinya, to help Xil and Ark, to protect Vrain…

I need a drink.

[auxilustheowl]

The Magic

Turin. Such a great man. With doctor Xil one of two persons who knows who I really am. I told him that yesterday. He didn’t run away and he even didn’t kick me out from his home. He’s not afraid or disgusted, he’s smiling and showing me that even I can be happy no matter how strange duties I might carry out.

However he’s concerned about him influencing me with his magic. He’s a mesmer living in lies, reflections and illusions all his life. I know exactly how hard it is to live in never-ending pretence. I don’t think he’s manipulating me, however we shall find out.

It was time to manifest my power and see… I materialized my triad of magic. The water from the fountain, the soil from the ground, the gas from the air and the fire from my life. These were the first ingredients to represent the first kind of magic – elemental magic – I master. I dug into me with my fingers to catch my spirit inside to be able to add the second ingredient – soul magic. The magic triad was finished when I cut my finger and let a few drops of my blood to the substance. The last ingredient found its own place – blood magic finished the ritual and a personal manifestation of my magic was glittering in Turin’s palm as a soft, shiny marble.

If Turin will be able to break the marble with his magic, he influences me and tricks my mind.

[auxilustheowl]

Violation of Rules

I hurt one of my wards yesterday. I hurt Odiniya a lot. I promised myself I would never cause any harm like that but I did. I had to and I’m really very sorry for that. When I found out she’s back in Divinity, I immediately left the hospitality of my friend and headed for the Sun, because that was the place where she was drinking, smoking and preparing for something awful.

To lure her out was easy. To hurt her… was not. I wasn’t gentle, I couldn’t be, I had to be sure… the first lightning bolt… she hit the wall next to the statue of Grenth. Bricks were broken and she was bleeding, but that was not enough. The second lightning bolt… the third lightning bolt… she lost her consciousness. My heart was aching, seeing my wards suffer is painful, seeing my wards suffer because of me is even more painful.

I did what was necessary. No one has to know she was in Divinity, possibly not even her. Dragging her out of Divinity was not an option. I’m a strong man, but 600 lb is not in my scope. My earth elemental helped me and my dear innocent Jarred as well. Earth elemental brought his strength, Jarred brought his stealth, and we left the Divinity Reach without being spotted.

She will be in pain, but I will be too. I didn’t have time to sacrifice myself yesterday because of the incident. It means my body is not reseted today and I didn’t have any vision. I’m afraid I didn’t see something important. I’m afraid I missed something crucial. But it’s too late now.