Not to sound like a decrepit, rambling corpse about it, but back in my day Word used to be a pre installed program that came with your computer, if you were running Windows.
No subscription. Just program.
On your computer. You got to use it forever and ever and never had to worry about it going away.
Because it was physically on your computer. As a program. That you actually owned. Not because you got it separately, but because it was a standard inclusion with your computer.
I'm sorry but I'll just never get over it. I remember when companies cared about their products being usable out of the box. I remember when our things belonged to us.
Old man shaking fist at cloud, wherein the cloud is the background of the Windows 98 logo.
for those of us who have abusive parents: have you ever had that moment where you realize what flavor of abusive your parent is?
because i just did today and i also realized that it’s not really talked about.
my mom is very, very possessive. i used to think she was just a control freak, but i realized she just obsesses over what is “hers.”
she weaponizes food (i never really learned how to cook because she wants to be the only one in the kitchen)
she is an absolute clean freak and freaks out if shit is out of place or “unpresentable”
she constantly says how stuff is “hers;” “my house,” “my floors,” “my car,” “my dishes,” “my food,” “my phone,” mine mine mine. even if it’s ours, like our phones or our rooms, it’s always hers.
our image as individuals and as a family always reflect on her because we are hers
we can rarely borrow from her but she will sure as hell “borrow” from us (she once had a dress of mine on loan to her friend because she “needed it” for a CRUISE)
as her children we technically belong to her, so our personal lives don’t matter if she wants us to do something for her
and when i say she weaponizes food and cooking, i mean the woman freaks out if we’re eating a snack while she’s cooking dinner or will take it super personally if we don’t like what she’s made. she’ll sometimes purposely make stuff we like if we’re away for the night just to piss us off or make a point.
growing up with the idea that nothing you own is truly yours unless you bought it for yourself—even then it might be up for grabs—fucks you up. i grew up never learning how to cook for myself or even load the dishwasher properly. i grew up believing that my basic necessities could be taken away if i acted in a way that was undesirable. that my personal space was never mine. especially to an autistic person, that shit fucks. you. up.
while it may not seem as extreme as some other people have it at home, i still know it has had a huge effect on me.
i was watching TADC again and i noticed something in ep 4
Ragatha mentions “i’m hurt enough; packages landing on my head, tea parties, dancing lessons” when she’s rambling on the stupid sauce. she also has been shown to have had a bad childhood with her mom. are these “packages landing on her head” and “tea parties” and “dancing lessons” things her mother subjected her to?
maybe her mom not only threw knives, but packages? maybe she made her take grueling dancing lessons? maybe the table we see her at isn’t a dinner table, but a tea party?
i bought tickets to Wembley earlier this month, but they announced they’re coming closer to where i live so i wanna sell my Wembley ones bc i wont be able to make it anymore.
HOWEVER
AXS is not letting me sell the damn tickets. the option is greyed out.
gummygunk
blakekathryn
tangentwithtanner
baratheonpilled
dailybridgerton
