Ava Avalon

23 ll Official Queen of Hell ll Straight

[ava-avalon-blog]

[mcallisterarchives]

Evil genius.

[ava-avalon-blog]

Finally you realize my worth.

[ava-avalon-blog]

I hacked into Larry's email and forwarded his colonoscopy results to everyone in the office.

[comicsandneworleans]

[elijahtheloewe-deactivated20150]

Elijah & Ava

[elijahtheloewe-deactivated20150]

I take it this place filled you with all those megalomaniac ideas, it probably inflated your ego since nothing else outside in the real world did. How does it feel, to be empowered?

I’m just as good as you, that’s why we’re here, having this discussion, on the internet, because we’re perfectly incapable of dealing with our lives in person. 

[ava-avalon-blog]

If you in fact are not into psychology then why are you trying to psycho analyze me? I don't think I'm vital to society, I know I am. I will most likely own you one day, so I suggest you watch your tone. I feel as empowered by the internet as I'm sure you do for the flimsy piece of paper that you're currently swimming in debt for.

Don't place yourself on my stoop, you couldn't even reach it. Secondly, I have to qualms about living in the real world. I'm at work amusing myself rather than answering phone calls. Please do continue prattling on about your theories though.

[elijahtheloewe-deactivated20150]

Elijah & Ava

[elijahtheloewe-deactivated20150]

That’s cute, thank god I didn’t go for clinic psychology or I’d be terribly interested in you as a case study. Thanks for the compliment, everyone tells me I’m a baby face, I hope I remain looking this young until I’m 60, helps with the ladies

[ava-avalon-blog]

You're already terribly interested in me, it's a side effect of meeting me. It wasn't a compliment, asshat. You clearly not very good at social cues, thankfully you're not a communications aficionado either.

[elijahtheloewe-deactivated20150]

Elijah & Ava

[elijahtheloewe-deactivated20150]

I didn’t expect it to be eharmony, all the failed relationships I deal with come from this site, I needed to find out. What brought you here?

[ava-avalon-blog]

A mixture of daddy issues and hope that I'd find someone irritating enough to sacrifice in the name of Satan. Can you really consider the hookups from this site relationships? They last not even the better part of an afternoon. What do you even know about relationships, what are you 12?

[elijahtheloewe-deactivated20150]

Elijah & Ava

A couple I’m treating told me about this site, I joined for research purposes… Who am I lying to? This seems interesting… 

[ava-avalon-blog]

This isn't Eharmony, you don't need to lie about your intentions.

[dailyactress]

Ava & Sylvia

[somewhatsanesylviadeactive1-blog]

Those are things you’ll never know, Little Avalon. 

As long as you don’t take any shit, you can try on as much as you want. Pablo will be a-okay, and I’m pretty sure he’s off the clock in an hour anyway.

Who let you into my house? Was it Hannah? I’m in the third sitting room, so why the fuck didn’t she tell me you were here?

[ava-avalon-blog]

Just as well, I'd rather not have the nightmares.

Be honest, would you even notice if I took anything? You've got an entire fucking Macy's in here. Is that booty-licious pool boy ever off the clock? His dedication to you is seriously creepy.

As if I would know what her name was. I just told some girl you invited me over and told me to let her have the night off. Seemed eager to get out of there too. Did you forget to feed your pets?

[ryangoodwin-deactivated2015-blog]

Ryan and Ava

[ryangoodwin-deactivated2015-blog]

I’d have Sylvia. 

Because you jumped onto my back mid-sentence and you know very well that I can’t do anything to you.

I would say I value you more than my career, but that would be a straight up lie. I can make exceptions though, and this is one of them, mostly because we were lucky and I’m not due to be on air until November. 

[ava-avalon-blog]

Skeletor is not my replacement.

That's only because I can't sexually satisfy you like AIDS statistics clearly can. Well praise God that nobody will have to see your disfigurement. Fine, but if you're bringing that hairball, I'm bringing Sylvia Jr. You're carrying her, you know that little bitch is precious cargo so don't fuck up.

[maluhialanikahala]

…. You are fucked up.

[ava-avalon-blog]

Thank you!

[nala-krishnan]

So, I’m new here and thought that maybe it would be a good idea if I introduced myself. I’m Nala! 

[ava-avalon-blog]

Simba isn't here, go home.

[jameson-cartwright]

Sometimes when it’s a rough day at work I have to go and sit in my car on my break to make sure I get a breather.

[ava-avalon-blog]

Cry about it. Or bring me alcohol and I'll allow you to drown yourself in it while you keep me company during my ID network marathon.

[killdesac]

Ran into these fancy prancy bitches at a fundraiser.

[ava-avalon-blog]

That looks like the least fun party ever.

[maluhialanikahala]

Okay, insanely drunk college girl… putting you in a cab

[ava-avalon-blog]

Aren't you big enough to overpower some girl without feeding her roofies?

[ryangoodwin-deactivated2015-blog]

Ryan and Ava

[ryangoodwin-deactivated2015-blog]

A grizzly bear wouldn’t have punched me in the face. They’re better than that, unlike you. I’ll ice it and the swelling should go down before my next meeting. 

Next time we should bring Cooper with us. 

[ava-avalon-blog]

We can't all be model citizens, Goodwin. Imagine how utterly dull your life would be without Satan. You should just leave it, maybe they'll force you to do a self-defense segment because you oh so clearly got your ass handed to you by a girl almost half your age. 

I nearly ruined your money-maker and you want to go out again? You're a glutton for pain, Goodwin.

[ava-avalon-blog]

Ava & Kai

[kailanimaris]

Where did her hair go? Did she sneeze and it went poof?

[ava-avalon-blog]

I like to think it's a product of radiation poisoning because this bitch is clearly a Chernobyl survivor.

[dailyactress]

Ava & Sylvia

[somewhatsanesylviadeactive1-blog]

Probably days. That bitch is too loaded for her own good.

Also, that fucking one-piece travesty is actually fucking comfortable. Dress it up with some fishnets and heels, and I’ll take you out on the town to meet some of my friends, baby. 

[ava-avalon-blog]

Can't argue that logic. Tequila is the bitch's best friend.

Clearly I found out that little tid bit when I put it on. I'm both disgusted and intrigued that you own fishnets. I must now search the rest of your wardrobe. Don't worry, while you're away Pablo panics and in his Spanish hysterics I'm assuming he's begging me not to touch your things. At least someone respects you, I'm going to guess it's because you pay him to though.