If you don't understand something about me, ask ME

they/fae pronouns. don't make assumptions about me, especially in order to ascribe privileges I probably don't even have. as a basis don't call me: cishet, or its component parts, lgbt, white, nt, able bodied, etc. seriously though being mislabeled in such a way is just as painful to me as being misgendered. it's a dick move basically. ********(sexual assault mention)******** but also because everyone always laughs behind my back without asking or reading shit that I've wrote I have fucking rape trauma tied to lgbt gatekeeping and it's triggering for me to be lumped in. and more so to be told I don't have a choice and that I am regardless of whether I want to be or not. just don't pull that shit.

[avatar-queerest-blog]

me @ myself: get it together.....

also me @ myself: ur literally going through a lot rn? cut yourself some slack?

also also me @ myself: ...anyway....i hate my entire self

[punkshitposts]

punk is the ultimate subculture for autistics!

sensory friendly haircuts (is it bothering you anywhere? shave it off)

heavy boots for weight stimming

heavy leather jackets for pressure stimming

patches give different textures to rub

[dearestgravity-archive]

piercings to stim with!

loud music for auditory stimmers!

like skinny jeans? like loose trousers? both are aces!

hate sleeves? okay, no sleeves! love sleeves? okay, sleeves!

don’t like bras? fine, no bra.

fishnet

like make up? have a field day! hate make up? none for you, friend!

we are all unique and different and you are welcome here

don’t understand certain societal cues? mainstream society is overrated ANYWAY

[13faeinapenguinsuit]

I mean, #AutPunk exists for a reason… stimmy aesthetic and politics that shit on the train wreck that is our society? Yes please.

[princesse-de-la-rue]

Give me someone who has some fucked up tastes in fiction, but is kind and respectful to real people, over someone who only ever ships the healthiest ships and stans the purest characters, but is rude and cruel to real people, any day of the week.

Your goddamn fictional preferences don’t show what kind of person you are; your actions do.

It’s not a hard concept to grasp.

[cptsdead]

effects of parental abuse

+ the inability or struggle to say “no”, because disobedience meant punishment and you are used to being directed all the time

+ being unable to emotionally relate with your family (especially parents, if they are the abuser). concurring thoughts of “i won’t care if THEY die”, or “they won’t care if I die”

+ always afraid/hesitant to confide in someone else about feelings or thoughts, because you are used to being neglected/dismissed when you talk about your feelings, constantly being replied with “get over it”. the consequence of this is that the emotions/feelings pile up inside over time and, when you reach the limit, you suddenly become self-destructive or imminently violent/emotional

+ however, when given the chance to CONFIDE about your feelings with freedom confidently, everything spills out, even if it’s with a stranger or with someone you have not been in contact for very long.

+ you always assume that the answer to every question/statement you say is “no”, even if you definitely know the person is very likely to say “yes”. you prepare for denial and disappointment and feel a huge wave of relief when they say “yes”.

+ being secretive about enjoyment/liking things, or being secretive in what you’ve done for the day, even if it’s not deemed “bad” or “illegal”.

+ simultaneously confused whether you have affection towards your parent(s) or you hate them whole-heartedly, despite knowing that they abuse you. the confusion stems from “well, they’re my parent, so i think they’re doing this because they love me”, though the thought is, of course, false

+ being scared that people will only take advantage of you, as your parents consequently thought of you as an object to benefit from, and not someone to love.

+ being easily attached to others, because you had no parental figure. this can lead you to being easily manipulated and you are very easily controlled. children under parental abuse are also more likely to have “chosen families”.

+ having an “escape plan” or “last resort” if you still live with your parents, just in case they do something worse to you, thinking up of elaborate plans to get out, how you’ll survive, where you’ll stay, etc.

+ being surprised learning that other parents are unlike your parents, and having to have someone/a source to tell you that what your parents are doing is abusive, and as a child you thought it was normal to be unhappy at home.

+ liking school or days out because that meant being away from your parents

+ developing emotional/personality disorders and distorted thinking

[letsmoveourbootybutts-deactivat]

Wouldn’t it be cool if lgbp aces & aros were acknowledged by the community we’re ostensibly supposed to be a part of as more than rhetorical devices/weapons to bring out against the Her Ace/Aro invasion

[letsmoveourbootybutts-deactivat]

Like remember when lgbp aces were talking about how over sexualized and therefore inaccessible a lot of safe spaces were and were told they were homophobic and disrespecting their own history Remember when aro lgbp people were told that their very existence is the cause of nonstraight people being oversexualized I’m exhausted and tired

[f1rstperson]

I made exactly this post months ago and I can’t tell you how mad I’m getting that lgbp aces and aros are still having to point this out. All these people were nowhere to be found when people were saying bi aro women are responsible for the hypersexualization of bi women. That argument has shown up again with plenty of ace/aro groups, and no one says a word. Non-ace/non-aro people just fucking disperse when it comes to actually defending us, but want points for taking ten seconds out of ignoring our existence to shit on a specific group of ace/aro people. 

[avatar-queerest-blog]

Remember that times ines alexandra valente quoted me using the term "amatonormativity" for a system that aces are oppressed under (cause yeah homophobia isn't all queerphobia, go figure). But she quoted it just to laugh at me and it's very concept. Like fuck you. Fuck you so fucking much. I let that shit slide because I felt sorry for your ass. But in the end all you did was prove why nobody fucking likes you *at all*. So go step on a Lego And cry about triston not giving a fuck. You fucking deserve it you dismissive hateful piece of shit. Oh yeah also remember that time that she was crying crocodile tears because leftbook was skeptical of her for being aphobic as shit and being "trigger critical" even belonging to a group called something like "sounds like that really doesn't need a trigger warning". Like literally acting like a victim because people were concerned she was unsafe. Oh and she didn't like that in a group without her I used IAV to indicate a person many people had issues with before. Newsflash dickhole, if people know who you are by your initials alone you already fucked up. (Unless the context is good, but it clearly isn't).

[13faeinapenguinsuit]

Do you support minor self diagnosis?

I started cracking my knuckles in fifth grade. My parents asked me why, and I told them it made the pain go away. My parents told me that I was too young for my joints to hurt, and that I would ruin them if I kept cracking them.

By the time was fourteen or fifteen and entering high school, I hadn’t stopped cracking my knuckles. The hurt more, and the relief was more. I was convinced that I had arthritis.

My parents told me that I was too young to have arthritis.

Fast forward thirty seven years when my joints take a dive and I cannot even get out of bed on some days. I take chemo therapy pills twice a week, and I have two injections of chemotherapy ever four months. I have to take two medications every day just to manage the pain the chemotherapy doesn’t cover.

This at least allows me to get out of bed and on most days it allows me to go to school. It doesn’t make the pain go away, and on bad days I want to cry it gets so bad.

The diagnosis? Early Onset Rheumatoid Arthritis.

It went unchecked for twenty five years, my immune system eating away at my joints like a buffet even though I wanted to go to the doctor from day one.

If I had gone to the doctor and I had been wrong - they found nothing - well, we would have been out a few bucks for the doctor’s visit.If I was right - and I was right - I would have been treated for 20 years.

If I had gone to the doctor on my insistence that I had arthritis at fifteen, I would not be in pain today. This would have been treated twenty years go.

Do I support minor self diagnosis?

Yes. Absolutely.

I would rather a minor self diagnose and be wrong than a minor ignore their body and suffer for 20 years like me. No one is harmed by listening to a minor and taking their concerns seriously. But that minor might be harmed for the rest of their life you ignore them.

My choice is always to listen to the minors about their bodies.

[avatar-queerest-blog]

See this is what scares me.

I've been tested negative for RA, but the pain just is so chronic I'm scared of whatever it *is* being serious long term.

But as a kid it couldn't be serious amd now that I'm fat it's clearly because of my weight (even though it proceeds the weight gain and probably caused it.).

Ahaha.

[feministfront]

abortion should always be accessible, affordable, and available at any point during a pregnancy. 

no two pregnancies are alike; there is always a chance that people will suddenly need access to an abortion, even late into their pregnancy. laws that ban abortion after a certain milestone seriously endanger the lives of people in these circumstances and ignore the reasons why people seek late-term abortion (i.e. serious medical emergencies). people do not get abortions “for fun” and the myth that they do is anti-choice propaganda that is highly manipulative and very misleading. people do not get late-term abortions for the hell of it; they get them because it is a necessity.

and besides all that, other people’s reproductive choices are NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. keep your nose and your opinions out of it.

[golbatgender]

Discourse: sex shaming and sexual harassment as leftist praxis, somehow

[angryqueerautie]

You can be asexual and polyamorous. You can be aromantic and polyamorous. You can be aroace and polyamorous. These things are not mutually exclusive.

[polyamandhellaglam]

If you are bisexual, pansexual, polysexual, ect and polyamorous you are not giving your sexuality a bad name by being so. If someone shames you or tells you you are giving the community a bad name they are a closed minded asshole and have unresolved issues about supporting fellow queer people who differ from themselves.

You are good. You are not giving anyone a bad name. 

[sgatcommunity]

Hi everyone let’s get started! I’ve launched a new community known as the SGAT+ Community this stands for same gender attracted and trans community! I’m really excited to finally have a completely cishet free community! The flag: I spent hours designing this flag. The rainbow stripes: from the original gay flag from 1978, represents the history of the original lgbt community pre mogai, and the stripes were reduced in saturation to make the flag more accessable to those who may struggle with bright colors. They are vertical rather than horizontal​ to represent that even though we are moving back to a pre mogai lgbt community that we are also moving forward into something new. The black: for the our past struggle as well as the one we still face even now as sga and trans people, the reason it takes up nearly half the flag is because I believe that we are still experiencing discrimination at very high levels. The white: the same size as the black, represents our bright future as well as tranquility without cishets threatening our safety. The white will become larger in the future. They took our acronym and our community and we fought for it, but at the end of the day they aren’t going anywhere and we are fighting a losing battle let’s shed the ace community and become something new.

[wetwareproblem]

“I chose these colours from the height of intracommunity exclusion and violence toward trans people, before bisexuality was really on the radar, when “Gay and Lesbian” was still controversial, to show the true history of the LGBT community that we want to return to!”

[rainfelt]

I feel like there’s a layer to the decision to represent “our bright future and tranquility” with whiteness, while blackness is “past struggles and discrimination”.

Like, I know white supremacy is deeply ingrained in all of us, but I thought questioning the knee-jerk white = good, black = evil thing was very basic social justice stuff?

Anyway everything about this flag is reflects the problems with the way me and my fellow white cis LGBs love to erase and steal the contributions of the qpoc who have always been the heart, soul, and guts of this community, and it would be funny if it weren’t sad.

[cooltrainerzero]

I’m sorry, I’m just too busy laughing at the ridiculousness of “I’ve launched a new community. I spent hours designing it.”

[geekandmisandry]

[arwenride]

oh my god this is the third time this person has tried this shit. It’s. Not. Going. To. Happen. 

[bleaseraggy]

but cishet aces aren’t homophobic

[avatar-queerest-blog]

Proof that y'all literally just say cishet to try to justify your bullshit even when it's provably not actually what you're talking about.

Case in point the FIRST example literally says they're gay and it's specifically about the intersection of aphobia And homophobia wrt to erasure and lack of representation.

Literally all they're saying is they're put on the back burner And not even considered to be a "real gay".

"Cishets" my fucking ass, you only proved their point.

[intersectionalfeministkilljoy]

You’re not immoral for being an atheist.  Atheism is valid. 

Your agnosticism is not a “cop out”.  Agnosticism is valid. 

You’re not evil for being a Satanist.  Satanism is valid. 

You’re not sinful for being a Pagan.  Paganism is valid. 

You’re not wicked for a Wiccan.  Wicca is valid. 

Your beliefs are valid, and so are you.

[avatar-queerest-blog]

I'm never going to say "q slur" outside of mocking it. I'm queer. I use queer. It's my identity. It's my gender. It's me. It's my community. If you have a problem with it then don't follow someone called "avatar queerest" maybe. I will tag things as "queer" so fucking blacklist it if it's such a fucking issue.

[lifeofapolyunicorn-blog]

The Difference between Cheating and Polyamory

The difference with polyamory and cheating Polyamory is all about consent, or permission from your current partner to go out on a date with or bring home and have a group relationship with someone else. If you have a relationship with someone outside of the relationship that you do not have permission to have is cheating.   Cheating is deceptive, its lying about where you where and who you were with.  Its sneaking around behind someones back to have another relationship that the current partner doesn’t know about. Cheating is also scan be sending naked photos of yourself to people or online  without your partner taken in mind. The reason that is cheating  is because when you get into a relationship  most people assume it is monogamous unless you tell them otherwise.  Monogamous is dedicating yourself to one person and talking the feelings of that person into account.Also what is considered cheating(Which is why i talked about the photos) is dependent upon the other persons definition, remember that cheating is emotional (in men and women). So how does cheating end? It may not end well but it may not end really bad ether. It all depends on the other persons emotional stability, the less stable they are the worse it will be for the cheater. I personally do not like cheating  because it hurts people and it hurts families. It hurts all because one person was not willing, afraid to, or didn’t realize they had the option to ask their current partner if they are OK with seeing someone else. There are many types of Polyamorous relationships, let me list a few for you. The “I like to watch”- This is a relationship where one person has sex with the current partner they have or not at all and the other person brings home partners to have sex with in front of the other person.  The “Do what you want”- When someone gets permission from their partner to have sex with whoever they want. Key word here is PERMISSION. The partner knows what is going on AND they are fine with it! The “swingers”- A couple who enjoys going out together and finding people to have a relationship with for a night or enjoyed going to events where they have copious amounts of sex with other people. These are the social butterfly’s of the poly world . And last I am going to tell you about my relationship (a 6 year relationship) I call it the “Unicorn” Three people who live together who have emotional and sexual relationships with each other all together and separately. We can also go on dates with other people outside of our group but we must ask each other it that is acceptable. Its all about talking to your partner and finding out what you enjoy or want from this type of relationship. The big difference is consent. (Your partner being totally fine and supporting about going out with other people.)

[avatar-queerest-blog]

This is why I do not believe cheating is a real thing. This is abuse enabling And victim blaming bullshit.

The idea that you need someone else's PERMISSION to associate with someone and in which ways? Abusive.

The idea that if you feel the need to hide and lie you are a bad person doing bad things, not that they aren't safe, understanding,or trustworthy? Victim blaming.

The idea that monogamy and someone's ownership of you should be ASSUMED unless you set boundaries? Abusive and amatonormative.

The idea that you're deceptive, dishonest, and bad because someone else assumed a certain level of entitlement that you aren't comfortable with? Victim blaming.

The idea that "consent" ever involves third parties? Controlling and abusive.

And lastly, literally UNICORN glorification. Because *of course*. This is what all these monogamous people who think adding "a third" as a marital aid think polyamory is.

Especially with shit like """permission""". And that asking permission first is the least monogamous view of poly even mentioned. Nothing of anti hierarchal, non hierarchal, open, or you know relationship anarchy. Just literally a few ways monogamists can spice it up without feeling too insecure or motivated to challenge their insecurities.

It's entirely bullshit. This is what I hate about the poly community.

[theinkstainsblog]

Ewww gross how can you look at reports of gay men being sent to concentration camps and have your biggest worry that trans women who marry women are seen as the straight males they are???? You're like asexuals who want to be oppressed.

Did… did I say that? 

No. No, I did not. 

My biggest worry is the gay and bisexual men being sent to concentration camps. 

If you had any reading comprehension skills at all, you would have seen that I said that their oppression being worse in this particular instance (which it is) does not mean that trans women are accepted. 

(And your transphobic acephobic ass is kinda proving my point right now buddy). 

I also said, that the gay and bisexual men being put in concentration camps, tortured, murdered is a horrific tragedy that we should be fighting with everything we have. 

NOT using as a gotcha on Tumblr to slander trans women. The OP that took one look at that tragedy and those reports and thought “I know what a good comment to make is! This proves that trans women aren’t oppressed just because this particular tragedy doesn’t involve them!’ is the real person here who is ‘gross.’ I wouldn’t have brought up trans women at all if the OP hadn’t already made it necessary to stick up for them by bringing them up. 

Because I can tell you now that my only thoughts reading reports of what is happening in Chechnya were shock and horror and thoughts of the poor victims and what I could do to help (as an eighteen year old student not much but fuck I wish it was more).  

[courteousmingler]

reminder that TERFs compare trans women’s oppression to asexual’s oppression.

reminder that trans women and TERFs both consider TERFs and ace exclusionists to be sister movements.

reminder that TERFs use the rhetoric of ace exclusionism to invalidate trans oppression. 

reminder that pushing ace exclusionist rhetoric aids TERFs and endangers trans women.

[avatar-queerest-blog]

"Why would you ever compare aphobes to terfs :( aceys just wanna be oppressed this never happens! Fake news!"