"Stop all that crying, or I'll give you something to REALLY cry about."
I’m shaking right now. I’m sobbing. How quickly we’re taught to invalidate pain.
When you’re a kid, and you don’t know what it’s like to be anything but a kid, life is still hard. Something that might seem completely insignificant to an adult might be completely earth shattering to a kid. Kids have a limited experience of pain. But sometimes, they’re told that it doesn’t count. That their pain isn’t valid. Isn’t that sick?
Getting yelled at sucks. Getting in trouble with the people you love the most really sucks. Imagine being hurt and being told that expressing that pain will only make you hurt further. I can’t write this without crying. How awful that is. Kids, being taught that their actions are stupid and foolish. Being taught to supress, because crying will embarrass you. Crying will get you punished. Crying will get you even more pain. What happened to comfort? That wasn’t comfort! I can see the good intentions through the awful execution but that cannot create an excuse. Tell kids that you don’t want to see them so worked up over something that they’ll one day see as small and insignificant. But tell them that what you want isn’t as important as how they feel. Tell them that it’s okay to cry, because this may be the worst pain they’ve ever felt. Don’t tell them that you will make it worse. Don’t scare them into silence.
Do you know how much easier it is for me to supress, to hold everything in and act like I’m okay? I don’t like talking about anything because it just makes me feel worse. Because I know I’ll cry, and crying makes you vulnerable. Crying will embarrass you. Everything seems insignificant, because you were taught that what you’re crying over isn’t worth crying over.
I know how to stifle my tears. I know how to sob so silently. I know how to make it look like I never even cried at all. Isn’t that disgusting? Not being allowed to feel, and feeling that way for the rest of your life.
It’s something to fucking cry about.
