em dash is so fucking sexy. puts her in a paragraph 8 times.
No title available
🪼
will byers stan first human second
hello vonnie

Andulka
noise dept.
Today's Document
todays bird

Discoholic 🪩
Show & Tell

if i look back, i am lost
Claire Keane

JVL

⁂
trying on a metaphor
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
h
Monterey Bay Aquarium
AnasAbdin

JBB: An Artblog!
seen from Pakistan

seen from Australia
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Croatia
seen from United States

seen from Poland
seen from United States
@avengertony
em dash is so fucking sexy. puts her in a paragraph 8 times.
remember when elomusk asked one of his rocketship employees to give him sex favors in exchange for a horse
I think this tidbit should be more famous than his exploding cars. It's all I'll ever need to know. A real human man tried and failed to barter with a flight attendant for third base by offering to buy her a horse (that's what girls like, right?)
SpaceX paid a flight attendant $250,000 in severance after she accused Elon Musk of exposing himself and offering to buy her a horse in exch
every time I bring up the horse thing at least a few people haven't heard of it, so I think it's only fair to keep mentioning it for as long as I live
It should have been Ironman, not Captain America, who wielded Mjölnir against Thanos in Endgame because Captain America was still a liar. I do get the whole “let’s spread all the heroics around” thing and taking into account that Ironman was the one who ultimately beat Thanos, but Cap just wasn’t worthy because he was a liar and a turncoat. If he had listened to Ironman, they all would have been in a better position come Infinity War.
Just out here thinking how Strange went from vehemently refusing to give up the time stone — because it was his job to protect it — even if it came at the expense of Tony's and Peter's lives, only to end up sacrificing it to save Tony — "I'm sorry, Tony. There was no other way." — because he knew Tony was the key to stopping Thanos the purple alien... In a sea of strong (understatement) avengers from the entire universe, out of people with unimaginable superpowers, Tony Stark was the only one capable of bringing Thanos to his ultimate end? That Tony Stark, the selfish genius-billionaire-playboy-philanthropist, man-in-a-suit-of-armour, take-that-off, what-are-you? was the only one who led them to the one in a 14 million chance of victory?
Yeah... My day's going well, how's yours?
GET THEIR ASS
The adhd modes of food
1. You ate that burger so fast. You ate that burger so fucking fast and now the whole Red Robin is staring at you god what the fuck
2. You started eating like a normal person, but then you started talking or daydreaming and now the waitress is handing you the check but you’ve still got half a plate of cold fettuccine
3. You were going to go out to eat, but then you saw a video in your YouTube recommendation that drew you towards it like moth to a flame, and now it’s 10 pm and you’ve got an empty bag of tortilla chips in your hand and shame in your heart
4. Mac And Cheese
5. You got engrossed in a project, suddenly you feel like you’re going to die, or faint, or both? Oh. you’re hungry.
6. You’re hungry. But every food you can think of sounds disgusting. Time for your 15th day of lunchables for breakfast in a row.
I saw Cats last night and I still haven’t recovered. Here is a play-by-play of my experience
The movie begins. The audience is rife with anticipatory giggles. Some lady in the back row loudly says “can we be quiet now, please? let us watch the movie in silence” in a displeased Russian accent.
We will inevitably disappoint her
In the first 5 minutes, while crying with laughter, I decide this movie is actually about a human who gets genetically engineered into a cat and is exiled to a furrykin community.
5 minutes after that, I think about how good a movie this would be if it was hand-drawn animation and not CGI people-cats, and I become absolutely furious
Mice and cockroaches have human faces and bodies. The audience is screaming.
This film comes VERY close to having a dog on screen. I start sweating in dread of what it might look like. The dog is never shown.
None of the humor is funny
During the slow parts I start to imagine other celebrities in full cat CGI to amuse myself
Cat Idris Elba sexily Thanos-snaps another cat out of existence. Audible confusion ripples through the audience.
The cats do some extremely horny body work involving their tails. The audience is making disgusted noises. Several people yelp “oh NO” very loudly
At the end of a song, the throng of cats start “applauding” by slapping their hands on the ground and saying “meowmeowmeowmeowmeow”. This instigates a fight-or-flight response in me so strong that I nearly bolt out of the theatre.
During an awkward silence the camera cuts to a cat making a “yikes” kind of grimace and the whole theatre laughs because that is the exact emotion we are all feeling
A cat helicopters into the ceiling and is vaporized by cat Idris Elba. A man in the audience yells “GOTTEM!!” at the top of his lungs
Most cats are naked but somehow cat Idris Elba manages to be far more naked than all of them. The audience is screaming, again
Memoriiiiiiies. All alone in the moonliiiiiiight. “Please,” begs the Russian lady in the back of the theatre, sounding defeated, “don’t laugh. Not now.”
The actor who plays the main character gray cat who never gets a song explaining who he is (I am told he is Munkustrap) is DEAD SERIOUS about this role. He is a PROFESSIONAL. He is feeling being a cat so hard. Look at his face at literally any point (but especially during the final epilogue song) and I guarantee he will be having an intensely invested serious face journey. His shoulders must be aching from carrying this entire film.
110 minutes later, or maybe years: the credits roll. The audience cheers raucously. We exit the theatre in a daze. One of my friends goes home with a high fever. 10/10
the fluff, the warmth, the magnitude… 11/10
Women: “Hey, can we hire fewer blatant misogynists to direct and create media? We’d support that.”
Nerdy Male Director: “Well-spoken. Have you considered hiring me, a man who is afraid of women?”
Nerdy Male Director: “She had many masculine traits, like eating 10 hamburgers at once and wrestling Russian mercenaries while never going over 112 pounds. She learned these skills from her many fathers and brothers, never from a male partner or friend, as that may suggest she has some autonomous sexual history. No, men were all too afraid of her, except for me who has mistaken my fem-dom fetish for respect. If I met her in real like I’d hate her for rejecting me without ever speaking to her. Her breasts were D cups.”
Nerdy Male Director: “She was quirky and spontaneous and unfathomable. She was completely disarmed and alluring and so full of sunshine. She wanted to be by my side at all times no matter how much I shrugged her off, pained by my history of real women with adult-minds who wouldn’t put up with my unbearable personality. She was a golden retriever. But a human one, with boobs and legs. I made a dog into a woman and she is my dream girl. I have a degree in literature.”
Nerdy Male Director: “She was a strong, feminist woman who was the ruler of this matriarchal nation. So strong, and so cold, and so emotionless, because i cannot figure out what sort of emotions or feelings a woman in power would have. I hate her because she is the bitter old screen-writing professor who gave me a D- on my manuscript about a sad 20 year old man finding himself through a series of prostitute encounters. She is violently killed on screen, and it is cathartic for me. Critics will praise how I handle grim realities. Her womb is barren.”
apparently I’m playing skyrim again… and by “playing skyrim” I obviously mean “spending hours installing mods before I ever open the game”
foreplay with Todd
do you ever think before you post
yes, I think “ha! funny” and hit post
Y'all think being in a goth relationship means wearing white makeup together but Mary Shelley lost her virginity on her mother’s grave so maybe step it up.
Mary Shelley carried her husband’s heart around and lived in a crypt after he died. No one will ever be as goth as Mary Shelley.
She also wasn’t carrying around, like, a mummified heart. Her husband’s heart had calcified, meaning it had grown bone within itself and possibly around itself, and it is this heart of bone which she carried. When she was young she carried it wrapped in a silk pouch, and when older it was kept in her desk, wrapped in a page from his poem Adonais. Adonais was one of his last poems, in which a deceased poet’s subjects (nature, Spring, the stars) mourn him, and long to join him in death. Then the narrator tells them do not mourn, for he has gone beyond where the minds and emotions of humans matter, to the Natural Spirit that is the source of all beauty.
Of his poems, it is this which she wrapped his heart in. There is none. more. goth.
It’s sad to realize that peak goth was hit so long ago
Links Sluttiest Armor
Underwear set
Simple, functional, flirty but not too revealing. I do wish it was cut slightly higher around the thighs. 7/10
Climbing set
The guns are out! He is ready to go! He is a sporty twink but the straps and belts reveal links kinkier side. 8/10
Radiant set
Points for boldness but the look falls short. Wrestler chic is not working for him 3/10
Gerudo Set
That crop top + loose yoga pant combo is a knock out. Her covered face adds a hint of mystery. I would love to shower her in flowers and chocolate. The colours are a little mismatched but that adds to her charm. 9/10
Royal Guard set
He is rich, he is fashionable and he knows what he wants. Look at that hair elegantly swept up into his hat, those white thigh highs. Fucking superb 10/10
Desert Voe Set
High Pony. Gold choker. One tit out. 20/10
Barbarian set
The fur trim, the leg warmers, the ripped up skirt, the saucy hand print leading to his bathing suit area. This is a LOT of look and he is wielding it with indescribable power. 100/10
Ancient set
Atrocious. -50/10
Sheikah Set
Sleek, sexy, sassy. Easily links best look. He is pulling off that top knot paired with the skin tight pants like its nobodies business. Im getting power bottom vibes and I’m very into it. 500/10
I never knew I needed this post until now but how dare you not address the borderline bdsm rubber armor
before this decade ends anyone wanna meddle with forces far beyond our understanding?
stan culture was a mistake
You don't see that much white energy behind a goddamn actual innocent person.
This guy was in a drunken rage, put someone in a choke hold and punched the manager of his restaurant
white male actor: assaults a person.
his fans: awwww he must be so sad his job is ending, poor bby he so stressed and sad, maybe that’s why he did this, but we still love him and support him!
everyone else: