life's too short, bisexualize everything

Hey, my name's Vic (or you can call me Mako), and I'm your friendly neighborhood shitposter. 35+, nonbinary (any pronouns is fine), shamelessly bisexual. I post about mass effect, dragon age, cyberpunk, and dbh. Sometimes I write things: #my writing, make gifs: #my gifs, make memes: #my memes, and ramble about things: #my stuff & #my thoughts. My fics live here: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AverageMakoEnjoyer come say hi

[average-mako-enjoyer]

Tell him, king!

[freckled-knight]

they don’t care that karl was someone’s son… someone’s lover.

[shieldsarts]

“For what it’s worth, I’m glad it’s you.”

Inktober, day 7.

[shieldsarts]

[viktopia]

*learns perspective for the sake of a goddamn meme* WIP

[inquisitorgaywarden]

Maybe Shale was onto something...

[lomakes]

POV: you’re simply trying to loot some good quality worn trousers whilst your two best friends won’t stop talking about fucking

[deactivated-drawing]

lord help me i made another

[average-mako-enjoyer]

I recently scrolled past this one post that talked about how a certain turian was oh so important to the SR-1 crew because he was working on Mako while Kaidan and Ashley were basically doing nothing. And while I have no interest in "correcting" the author of that post, I'm pretty sure we don't talk enough about how essential Kaidan and Ashley are to the SR-1 crew.

So Ashley is filling in for Corporal Jenkins, which means she has her own unit of soldiers to command, just like she did on Eden Prime.

What does that mean in practice? She does the training, she does the physical and psychological assessments, she does the team building exercises, she writes reports for her CO. If you've ever been the leader of a small team (in Ashley's case, about 7-10 people), you know it's a hell of a job because you have to be both a babysitter and a confidant to fully grown adults who tend to get into all kinds of trouble with each other.

She also maintains the squad's weapons in her off hours, which is wow? Great job, Ash. Now go get some rest.

Kaidan is the staff lieutenant and head of the marine detail, which makes him the third most important person on the ship after the captain and the XO.

What that means in practice is that he's constantly observing and evaluating the work of all the marine personnel aboard the Normandy, working with lower-ranking officers like Ashley to determine how correct and effective their actions with their units are, determining what kind of duties and positions are best suited for each marine on board (he's definitely responsible for Anderson's decision to add Ashley to the crew), and doing the same babysitting, training, and confidant duty for not just one squad, but for every member of the marine detail.

He's also a really good tech specialist, so I bet he does a lot of calibrations on the squad's weapons, armor, and omni-tools.

So yeah, big shoutout to the most useless members of Shepard's team, who are literally responsible for keeping this whole Sarenhunting Spectre shitshow running smoothly.

[average-mako-enjoyer]

Found it by accident and oh boy, this post was even worse than I remembered.

I have several things to say…

Tali definitely doesn't help with the engine, aka the drive core, because there are crew members trained to work with it. Tali is smart, sure, but you can't just open any console in Engineering and find schematics and core work protocols. What she does is disassemble probes and other tech that Shepard's crew finds on their missions.

Liara is a Prothean expert and that's, you know, important for Shepard's ME1 missions? That's also why the geth were on Therum. Saren needed both the Prothean expert and leverage over Benezia if she decided to go rogue.

Let's unpack the whole Garrus thing, because oh my…

a. Mako is a tank. You have to be trained to do maintenance on a fucking tank. So since there's a tank on board, there's a team of technicians trained to work on the Mako. They do it. And they don't just do it with a console and a wrench.

b. Mako is not launched from orbit, it's a tank, not a shuttle. What happens (and you can clearly see all these animations in the game) is that Joker flies the Normandy really close to the ground and only then Mako rolls out of the cargo hold. I'm a Mako enjoyer, so I'd say it can be deployed from pretty high altitudes to avoid detection by enemy air defenses, but not from a fucking orbit. Do you even understand what the word "orbit" means?

c. Mako's robust design, which allows it to be launched from Normandy and survive Normandy's crash, has nothing to do with Garrus.

d. Thanks to the Virmire survivor (the actual officer on board) and regular emergency drills, most of the Normandy crew survives the Collector attack. That's more important, no?

Garrus is an optional crewmember on board, he doesn't do anything important, and you can love him without making shit up.

[yellowplumfruit]

the blood mage

[pixelyearn]

[fashionablyfyrdraaca]

DARKTOWN

[clowncollegiate]

this yourube video was so varric tethras coded to me so i had to redraw it

[vulptilla]

The most relevant question of our time is that why I haven’t been keeping Zevran in my party more often. He’s such a gem. 

[hehearse]

i do enjoy hoarding local memes translated into da characters and then unleashing them onto unsuspecting citizens

[the-cryptographer]

we can go over the individual merits and flaws of every single character and weaponise morality to justify our likes and dislikes, but I think the great strength of DA2 is that we got sold a group of companions from different national, ethnic, and religious backgrounds with a great diversity of opinions and - whether you buy their loyalty with kindness or beat it out of them with cruelty - by the end of the game you can convince every single one of them without exception to either participate in genocide, or to fight against it. we can argue all day about who is best and who is worst. but every single one, no matter where they come from, has a full range capacity for both goodness and banal brutal evil.

[legionofpotatoes]

A champion’s decade. To Dragon Age II ❤ [x]