Is there a virus infecting your system? Have the cuts left an animal mark? 🗡️⚗️
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izzy's playlists!
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we're not kids anymore.
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@avidhuntsvampires
Is there a virus infecting your system? Have the cuts left an animal mark? 🗡️⚗️
came back from death wrong trope? you can easily avoid this by just never dying at all (stays alive wrong stays alive wrong stays alive wrong stays alive wr)
(Going around speaking to kitties) Hello. What is your power? Hello. What is your power?
@avidhuntsvampires
in a hotel room very cautiously removing my clothing slowly and constantly looking around the room shifty and scared as fuck anticipating attacks while a beautiful pair of women sitting side by side on the bed in matching lingerie excitedly but restrained with carefully lowered vioices cheer me on. they say Yes thats it thats how sex works! youre doing it right yeah! youve got it keep going! and im finally down to a sports bra and one tube sock when a car alarm putside startles me and i lunge for the empty handgun on the floor and put it in my mouth while they panic and scramble trying to calm me down petting my hair and cooing gently
@avidhuntsvampires
Vampires!Avidscott! :3
I watched You and I are Polar Opposites while doing this hehehe
@avidhuntsvampires
SCREAMS
Bbbbbbbbb <- drowning
Vampires Scott! I love this man
your honor. we find the defendant: sillayyyy
guards rub his belly 20 years
idk who needs to hear this but 15 seconds is way too long to put a gluestick in the microwave
I’ve been laughing at “fuck this lemon you take it” for several minutes
Your boyfriend is not “a little fruity” and we are putting him down like a dog
where is that post that’s like “*HR guy who’s made of hands skittering in* no touching”
[Image ID: Tweet from Daggerlad (@/ Daggerlad2) reading:
Me: *gruesomely hunched* Installed another spine
Coworker: 4th one right?
Me: Mhm
Coworker: Just finished a little project of my own.. *wrapping a segmented arm around me* all wrists
Me: gimme a quick squeeze, crack my back
HR guy: *skittering in on 100 fingers* No Squeezing /End ID]
The celebrity Ben & Jerry's ice cream flavors being some of the best ones is like the retail equivalent of having to go to a restaurant and order a rootin tootin yeehaw cowboy burger or something
The Tonight Dough is a downright hedonistic ice cream flavor concept but in order to obtain it you have to purchase a pint of ice cream with Jimmy Fallon's face on it and then see him in your freezer every day for a week
why are there so many tonight dough posts
Youre asking me an awful lot of questions about my very self-explanatory "I DESERVED IT" shirt
Yesterday I bought myself a little splurge of a plushie I found on sale that I really wanted, and I also cleaned out my car and put my stuffed animals in the back seat. (I usually have them on display back there, but I was busy giving people rides for a while so they had to go in the trunk.)
Today I came in and sat down after a really crappy day… and after snuggling with one of my little guys for a minute, it really made me feel a lot better.
A friendly reminder that the silly things that make you happy are importer, no matter how childish. 🩷
This is such a beautiful reminder! Thank you 😊